getting over first love

Forealzchola said:

Is it true you never get over your first love and you just learn to move on but the feeling always remain in some sort of way even years down the line ?

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You move on and your first love fades and with time you
see all the reasons that it never would have worked out.

I think anytime you invest so deeply in another person it
is painful to part and move on and there is always that
nagging thought of what could I have done differently to make it work.

But it didn't work for so many reasons and although in the short term we forget the
bad and romanticize the relationship hopefully when we meet someone else and develop a healthy
relationship, then all the reasons for the breakup with our first love become perfectly clear.

At least this is how it played out in my life.

After all, each person is different and yet we do share many common
experiences in life and in relationships....

I can say with all honesty that my wife has completely replaced
any thought or my first love and now I can clearly see all the flaws
and faults of that first attempt at lasting love and I can thank
God that it did fail because it was not what I now know is a mature and healthy love.

When God gives you a gift it is good and so what you had will be
eclipsed when God brings into your life the right person to share your life with.

Pray and ask God to send the right person into your life....

Forealzchola said:

Is it true you never get over your first love and you just learn to move on but the feeling always remain in some sort of way even years down the line ?

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No. It may take time, though.

Forealzchola said:

Is it true you never get over your first love and you just learn to move on but the feeling always remain in some sort of way even years down the line ?

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It takes lots and lots of time. Lots of time. Though I think you always love that person. Not in-love-oh-I-must-have-you-near-me-all-the-time sort of infatuation, but true I-want-the-best-for-you love.

And I wouldn't limit this to 'first loves', either. Love is love.

And it wasn't designed to be temporary.

Forealzchola said:

Is it true you never get over your first love and you just learn to move on but the feeling always remain in some sort of way even years down the line ?

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yes, it's true - you never really get over God

but i know that's not what you're asking.

that's the way it has been for me; but then neither of us is dead yet

God is smarter than me, and certainly knows who i should be with. i'm divorced, and i chose my former wife; but after that hard lesson, i'm committed to following God's leading on this next time

It depends on the person. Some have an easier time moving on than others. We are all "wired" differently, it's not a matter of being "normal" or not. I will pray for you to be able to let go and to find someone who is better for you.

Forealzchola said:

Is it true you never get over your first love and you just learn to move on but the feeling always remain in some sort of way even years down the line ?

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My first love happened when I was 4! My second happened when I was 8! The first one died when I was a teenager and although I felt sad about it, I guess I had gotten over him because of the other love. The second love...turned out to be gay. Yeah, I got over him when I met my husband in high school.

You CAN get over your first loves. It takes time and sometimes a replacement of a new love.

My first love was actually the person who helped me get over losing him.

We had been good friends and were "dating" at school, I moved away
and he moved on also.

In my late teens, I discovered that me and him have a mutual friend in common and through this
friend, who happened to mentioned his name one day I discovered my old love
hadn't made good choices in his life.

He even denied knowing me and told her we never were boyfriend/girlfriend...
she told me that she could tell by his reactions that he really knew me and she
knew he was lying about us not dating at school.

Things changed after that, she said he stopped associating with her and that
he kept hanging out with the bad crowd at school and he was acting all bad
and stuff to fit in with them.

It's weird how I once couldn't of imagined life without that guy?
Here I am decades later and I can't even remember what he looked like...

You can move on and get over them, but you never forget them. In time, they become pleasant, fond memories of the past. But you get over loving them and heal and move on.