getting lower and lower..please pray

[svl3p]

for a while i was doing ok..but things have been really stressful lately...hubby was doing tons of overtime for a couple of months, so i was picking up all the slack at home...then we just bought a house and moved, so busy busy busy...i have two kids (11 months and 2 years) and my eldest has been very difficult/whiny since about 2 weeks before my daughter was born..and it just seems to be getting worse..now my daughter (the 11 month old) is getting really whiny too, and she was always the happy one during the days! i'm just so tired, i never sleep well...

i have my own business selling handmade baby products but i haven't had time to really keep up with the work of making and promoting myself, business has been super slow since xmas, I kept thinking, it'll get better it'll get better..but that was almost 1/2 a year ago and i'm just getting so discouraged..it was the only thing that kept me feeling like i was contributing financially to our family and now that's fading..i just feel so useless..

my patience and tolerance with the kids is nil, i spent all afternoon yelling at them and now i feel so guilty i'm such a horrible mom..my hubby came home to the kids whining and crying and me stressed and frustrated with the kids, he was only here 2 hours this evening before he had to leave again for his men's church group and he spent the whole time keeping busy and i know i just made his home time for today miserable too i'm such a horrible wife

lately i've been having more and more thoughts of wanting to hurt myself..the only thing that stops me is i don't want to deal with the poop that would come with hubby finding out..i can't risk being locked up for being a risk to harm myself, we couldn't manage if i wasn't here to look after the kids, and it would just be so hard on the rest of my family if they knew how bad i was, they have no clue everyone thinks i've always been a happy good lil Christian girl..they have no clue i ever hurt myself, let alone that i hurt myself for the first time when i was 7..

just so sad tonight..can't concentrate on anything (sorry i'm rambling)..don't want to go to bed cause i know i'll just lay awake for hours..i should have taken the last hour to do something productive and all i've accomplished was failing miserably at something i was trying to make, which makes me feel even worse...it's just getting so bad lately...any prayers greatly appreciated

 

[aflower4God]

Hi there my dear sweet loving sister, First WELCOME to CF
Second YES I will definatally pray for you.
Please know that God is there for you just give him ALL of your problems, I will pray that He gives you the PEACE in your heart and JUST LET HIM raise your kids, This is what I mean, just pray pray pray pray for strength and ask him to help you with your littles ones, just quietly listen to Him he will speak through you! IT WORKS it has happened to me, where as I begged God to do alllllll the talking through me, he gave me that power and I KNOW that he will for you.
DON"T HARM YOURSELF MY DEAR SWEET LOVING SISTER. PLEASE, we are all here for you God bless you and LOTS of love to you
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}

 

[Criada]

Praying for you, sweetie.
It is so hard trying to keep the 'mask' on and look as though you are coping when insidr you are falling apart.
You are not 'bad', you are doing an incredibly difficult job with two children very close and at the most demanding stage of life. None of us are perfect parents, but you obviously love your kids, and all you can do is to do your best and let God take up the slack. When my children were small I used to feel like a terrible mother because I gat irritated and shouted at them... but they have all turned out pretty well-adjusted pleasant young people despite me... and I suspect that is due a lot more to my prayers than to my parenting skills!

You sound as though you have a lot of unresolved 'stuff' in your life.. have you considered seeing a doctor or a therapist to try to work through some of the past. It really does help.

If you need a listening ear, sweetie, PM me anytime

 

[Chococat]

Praying for you hon. Is it possible you have postnatal depression as it is not too long since your youngest child was born and from what I've heard, if unntreated PND can linger. Why not see your dr and get checked out. Whatever you do don't harm yourself as it's not the answer.

 

[rachel22]

yes i will pray for you . sometimes i just listen to some christian music and that is one thing that helps calm me, so i did that a couple hours ago. you said your family doesnt know about your wanting-to-hurt-yourself feelings......my family doesnt know about my battle with those kind of thoughts and suicidal thoughts. i fight those by thinking about God and thinking about how i never want to hurt my loved ones (and if i hurt myself i'd be hurting them). it'd be great if you can see a doctor about how you're feeling.

 

[hope_is_last_to_die]

So sorry to hear you are in distress and hurting so much. Please dont harm yourself, you are a precious child of God and God loves you so much. Moms are so precious, you are a precious mom. Ive prayed for you

 

[toejam]

Hi,
i am sorry you feel so badly. I know depression like a brother. Sometimes just to help myself go forward I do something very simple like put the kids in the room, take a hot shower and cry. Then I will sing to Him "Just as I am". Little steps are best and have you talked to your husband about your need for support ?
I have prayed for you and know your not alone.

In His Grip

Tom

 

[miss-a]

No matter how low we go or feel or think we are going, God will always lift us up You are His and He won't forget that.

Psa 40:1,2 "I waited patiently for the Lord, and He inclined to me, and heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, Out of the miry clay, And set my feet upon a rock, [And] established my steps."

Dear one, I'm absolutely praying for you. Please know that your plate is full and it's okay to not have to be the productive, super mom all the time. All of us go through holding patterns, times when we can only get the bare basics covered. Often these are times when we feel like we are accomplishing little, but behind the scenes God is accomplishnig much in our hearts and souls. It's okay. Remember what your Dad in Heaven recommends, "Be still and know that I am God."

YouTube - Peace by Sherrie Youngward
Grace and peace, A

 

[Rose_bud]

Dear God

I thank you for this wonderful mother, and I thank you for her wonderful family. I thank you for everything you've done in my dear sisters life. I thank you that you have inclined your ear to her needs, and that you are aware of the situation she finds herself in. I ask God that you would hold her and infold her in you loving embrace. I pray that you would grant her the wisdom she needs to raise her family. I pray that you would give her the peace that surpasses all understanding. I pray that you would grant her all the courage she needs to face her circumstance and make her aware that you have never left her or forsaken her and that you never will. Bring in a closer relationship with you as she trust and believes in your Name. Lord Jesus. Amen

 

[svl3p]

thanks

 

[Criada]

Still praying for you, sweetie
How are you doing?

 

[maycin]

I am so sorry you are feeling so so badly. I thought of the Post-partum depression also. I know you have said you have struggling with wanting to hurt youself even when you were young.....have you spoken to a chritian counselor about this. They are used by the Lord to bring us healing in our life. You have so much you are dealing with. I pray that you will seek out some help for yourself. May the Lord hide you beneath the shadow of His wings until this storm has passed.

 

[svl3p]

Still praying for you, sweetie
How are you doing?

not so great the last couple of days..hanging in though..thanks for the prayers

 

[Chococat]

Still praying for you.