Getting bored easily

[RileyG]

I am single with virtually no friends. How do I pass the time?

Thanks

My attention span is seriously awful recently. I do not know why. I do not have ADHD/ADD.

 

[peaceful-forest]

Maybe you need a pen pal.

 

[RileyG]

Maybe you need a pen pal.

Some companionship would definitely help

 

[peaceful-forest]

I volunteer.

 

[RileyG]

I volunteer.

why, thank you!

 

[dzheremi]

I can see by the info that pops up when I hover over your posting icon that you are on the young side of things. I would not be surprised if this phenomenon changes for you as you get older. With recent exceptions like the pandemic in mind (which obviously tested the entire world's tolerance for being isolated from everyone and everything that we'd usually be doing), it is generally the case that as we age and take on more responsibilities as our lives become more complicated, our free time becomes more of a time to decompress from the stresses of life than time to 'kill' by filling it with lots of activities or new experiences. Of course, everything is a matter of degree, and if you find that you never go out or go through long stretches of many days without speaking to others or going anywhere, that could be a sign of some kind of mental or emotional problem that you could bring up to your priest, counselor, or therapist, who may have good suggestions that would be tailored to you in ways that we cannot provide here on CF. But if your boredom is more 'ordinary' than that, it could be helped by changing your media consumption patterns, for one example. For instance, you mentioned having a plummeting attention span. I think that is more normal these days than ever, and I did go through a time years ago when I was in my early 20s when I feared the same thing was happening to me, and what helped me was going to my school's library and picking out the thickest book I could find on a subject that I'd always wanted to know more about and setting out to read it. It was a book about North Korea from a man who was, at the time, the American who had been there the most times out of anyone not connected to the U.S. government, and it ran about 1,000 pages. Since I was interested in the subject, I did not get bored with it, though honestly it was a bit of a slog to get through at points purely because of its length (I was in school, so I was used to having to do a lot of reading, but this wasn't being required by anything, and there was no structure to the reading outside of what I was able to impose on myself). Maybe something like this could help with your attention span.

 

[RileyG]

I can see by the info that pops up when I hover over your posting icon that you are on the young side of things. I would not be surprised if this phenomenon changes for you as you get older. With recent exceptions like the pandemic in mind (which obviously tested the entire world's tolerance for being isolated from everyone and everything that we'd usually be doing), it is generally the case that as we age and take on more responsibilities as our lives become more complicated, our free time becomes more of a time to decompress from the stresses of life than time to 'kill' by filling it with lots of activities or new experiences. Of course, everything is a matter of degree, and if you find that you never go out or go through long stretches of many days without speaking to others or going anywhere, that could be a sign of some kind of mental or emotional problem that you could bring up to your priest, counselor, or therapist, who may have good suggestions that would be tailored to you in ways that we cannot provide here on CF. But if your boredom is more 'ordinary' than that, it could be helped by changing your media consumption patterns, for one example. For instance, you mentioned having a plummeting attention span. I think that is more normal these days than ever, and I did go through a time years ago when I was in my early 20s when I feared the same thing was happening to me, and what helped me was going to my school's library and picking out the thickest book I could find on a subject that I'd always wanted to know more about and setting out to read it. It was a book about North Korea from a man who was, at the time, the American who had been there the most times out of anyone not connected to the U.S. government, and it ran about 1,000 pages. Since I was interested in the subject, I did not get bored with it, though honestly it was a bit of a slog to get through at points purely because of its length (I was in school, so I was used to having to do a lot of reading, but this wasn't being required by anything, and there was no structure to the reading outside of what I was able to impose on myself). Maybe something like this could help with your attention span.

thank you

 

[ecumeni]

I am married with virtually no friends. I can be a pen pal

 

[FireDragon76]

I am single with virtually no friends. How do I pass the time?

Thanks

My attention span is seriously awful recently. I do not know why. I do not have ADHD/ADD.

You can test attention and executive functioning with the Stroop Test. They have some online:

Stroop Test - Online Version

The Stroop test is based on the Stroop effect, according to which a person finds it difficult to determine the color of the inscription, if the inscription contradicts the name of the color - here is a variant of the Stroop test

metodorf.com

I suspect the pandemic has taken its toll on some people in the attention department. Spending alot of time indoors on screens might have something to do with it. It's been demonstrated certain forms of social media usage have negative impacts on attention span. Some people find a "tech detox" or "dopamine detox" helpful.

Besides practicing the Stroop test frequently, meditation and neurofeedback are proven ways to increase attention span. You can buy consumer-grade neurofeedback devices like FocusCalm or Muse now for about $200 dollars (they use smartphone or tablet apps). You can also increase attention simply by regularly engaging in any activity that involves concentration and a certain amount of difficulty or skill.

 

[RileyG]

Thanks for the feedback! I take anti-depressants so I do not know how that affects my dopamine levels.

 

[FireDragon76]

Thanks for the feedback! I take anti-depressants so I do not know how that affects my dopamine levels.

Most antidepressants don't actually alter neurotransmitter levels in the synapse, except in the short term. They are now commonly hypothesized to work by causing downregulation of receptors in the synapse, which leads to downstream effects, like changes in the networks in the brain, or an increase in neuroplasticity. That takes weeks or months.

The focus on a lack of neuroplasticity in depression is leading to alot of interests in older drugs like psychedelics or dissociatives. Ketamine is already approved now for treatment-resistant depression in the US, and it works alot faster than traditional antidepressants. I wouldn't be surprised if in the future it's a frontline treatment.

I took antidepressants in my early 20's but I don't take them anymore regularly after I started practicing meditation in my late 20's. I was diagnosed with depression and OCD at the time.

 

[RileyG]

Most antidepressants don't actually alter neurotransmitter levels in the synapse, except in the short term. They are now commonly hypothesized to work by causing downregulation of receptors in the synapse, which leads to downstream effects, like changes in the networks in the brain, or an increase in neuroplasticity. That takes weeks or months.

The focus on a lack of neuroplasticity in depression is leading to alot of interests in older drugs like psychedelics or dissociatives. Ketamine is already approved now for treatment-resistant depression in the US, and it works alot faster than traditional antidepressants. I wouldn't be surprised if in the future it's a frontline treatment.

I took antidepressants in my early 20's but I don't take them anymore regularly after I started practicing meditation in my late 20's. I was diagnosed with depression and OCD at the time.

Thanks for the information! I've taken anti-depressants/other medication since I was 13 and am 27 now. That is over half my life. I was not aware of this.

 

[FireDragon76]

Thanks for the information! I've taken anti-depressants/other medication since I was 13 and am 27 now. That is over half my life. I was not aware of this.

One thing about being single and having no friends, unless you are engaged in some kind of demanding or engaging activity, you're going to get bored and make depression worse. Boredom can be a signal to try something new or challenging and get out of a routine.

What you really want to have is a brain with looser connections. You do that by doing or experiencing something new, or in a new way. Doing the same thing over and over is analogous to rumination, and just like how it feels like emotions and thoughts ping-pong back and forth in a tight loop, the same thing more or less happens in your brain, especially a region called the Default Mode Network, which correlates with a part of the brain responsible for inner dialogue and inner narrative. People with depression and obsessive thinking tend to have too many connections in the Default Mode Network.

Daniel Siegel's book Mindsight might be worth looking into. I had a therapist that recommended it to me years ago, because that was part of the approach she used. I was working through a traumatic experience and needed help finding a new direction in life after everything fell apart.

 

[RileyG]

One thing about being single and having no friends, unless you are engaged in some kind of demanding or engaging activity, you're going to get bored and make depression worse. Boredom can be signal to try something new or challenging and get out of a routine.

What you really want to have is a brain with looser connections. You do that by doing or experiencing something new, or in a new way. Doing the same thing over and over is analogous to rumination, and just like how it feels like emotions and thoughts ping-pong back and forth in a tight loop, the same thing more or less happens in your brain, especially a region called the Default Mode Network, which correlates with a part of the brain responsible for inner dialogue and inner narrative.

Daniel Siegel's book Mindsight might be worth looking into. I had a therapist that recommended it to me years ago, because that was part of the approach she used. I was working through a traumatic experience and needed help finding a new direction in life after everything fell apart.

Thank you for your recommendation and response. It is appreciated.