Getting asked out

[blackribbon]

I never said I pitied you... I said you were having a pity party for one...which means you were the only one you invited to your "party". We all do that from time to time but it is dangerous to get stuck in that mode.

 

[redblue22]

kalamazoo? what church?

 

[CCHIPSS]

I don't know either. Women in the west disgust me. I wish I could move to the east where people like me are more appreciated and sought after. That's what my cousin did when he moved to Japan.

Please don't take this the wrong way. But may i ask who are the "people like you"?

Please give a brief description of who you are. Like the basics like what industry you are working/studying in? And the more personal like how do others feel when they interact with you?

Give us some things to go with. Maybe we can help you.

And if you really want to love a woman, you got to stop thinking along the lines of "women disgusts me". Now I understand this kind of thinking is common, as at one point I felt the same way. When women disappoints you again and again this happens. But you got to stop thinking like that. Woman is not out there to please you. You are there to please them.

Jesus didn't say "Go and find people to love you."
Jesus said "Go and love other people around you."

Give away your love, and you will be loved in return. Love women, and they will love you back. This might sound crazy to you right now, I understand. But it is the truth. Jesus is the wisest, and we will be wise to trust and obey in him.

 

[CCHIPSS]

Materialism is rampant in the west and that is what motivates every person I know that has been in a relationship to abandon them.

People sin. Everyone sin. And yes coveting is a sin. But the bigger question is, is this excuse enough for us disciples of Christ to stop loving them?

 

[CCHIPSS]

20 years without a single relationship will do that to you (i'm 32). Sorry this is what bitter looks like and it isn't pretty. I grew up in the hood and if you know anything about hip hop culture, then my generalization would make a lot more sense to you.

I bet you would be bitter too if you went as long as I have.

And no, I am NOT joking with you. I am cursed.

Here is the origin of your pain.

You gave earthly love away, and you expected love in return.

And when you didn't get any love back, you are disappointed. Of course, because you expected something in return. And no one can help you if you think this way. The only way to help you is to send you a woman who would love you back 100%. Now that no human can help you with. We are not even certain we ourselves will be married in the future, so how can we help you?

Here is what Jesus ask us disciples to do:

You give Godly love away, and you expect absolutely nothing in return.

Godly love have no prerequisites and conditions. That's how our heavenly Father loves each of us. He look at our past, present and future sins, and today he already forgave us for all of them.

Our own future sins might surprise even us. But our future sins doesn't surprise God. It is like knowing your girlfriend will cheat on your 4 years from now, but today you decided to marry her and today you already forgave her for that future sin. That's how intense his love is for us.

Now I am not saying this is easy. I myself struggle with this same problem at times too. But slowly as we learn to expect nothing in return for our love, we will feel lighter and happier. We are just there to help. We do not need to be helped. We are just there to love. We do not need to be loved. God's love and grace becomes sufficient for us.

 

[CCHIPSS]

Yes I was (its called being brutally honest) and I am NOT asking for your pity. I am only trying to explain to you my background so you can an idea where I am coming from.

Women in America don't want a man that's puts their Christian walk above them and their children. Women in america don't understand faith to get the bills paid because the west is materialistic. Whether its on 8 mile or Bloomfield Hills. It is part and parcel in American culture.

We live in a relativistic society that is afraid of calling a spade a spade because that is how God sees truth and we have fallen way off the vine. You want to see materialism at its finest? Turn on the TV or go on the radio or drive down the street. It is destroying the west and people like me who stick out like a sore thumb get caught up in it all.

I'm frustrated about it because it is not an easy thing to live with. But don't you dare give me your pity. I don't get it from anyone else and I certainly don't expect it from you.

Materialistic women is nothing.

Jesus loves tax collectors. Jesus loves prostitutes. Jesus loves the worst of murderers, who were crucified right next to Jesus.

So forget about materialistic women. Let's talk about some real sinners. Women who lies and steals from men. Women who marry men 50 years their senior for money. Women who murdered their husbands and drowned the babies.

Sure you can hate anyone you want. There are billions of excuses for any of us to hate anyone. "Oh she is so annoying!" "Oh he promised to help me with my homework but he was no-show!" "Oh she talks about her dresses all day long!"

Once again this isn't easy. But today I just want you to see the truth of God's love. But never forget what Jesus did, and how he loved. And hence never forget what he ask us to do, and how we should love others.

 

[redblue22]

DrS, do you feel like you don't fit in with most people?

I'm not sure how all the other responses are supposed to help you.

I would probably feel even more misunderstood, uncared about, unheard.

I doubt their advice when their behavior demonstrates the opposite.

.

 

[blackribbon]

RedBlue...what kind of advice would have been better?

If I have a patient who keeps ending up in the hospital related to mismanagement of his diabetes, I sit down and discuss his life style choices that are causing his problems and help him find better solutions that help him figure out ways to improve his life in ways that work for him. I don't say "poor baby, I am so sorry you are getting sick all the time...life just isn't fair".

DrStrange has some real problems..true...but only he can stop the cycle and try to improve his own life. I could have said..yes, it stinks to be alone or I could help him find ways to improve it. He doesn't have to take my advice but it was offered by listening to what he was saying ... maybe it isn't the answer he wants but that doesn't mean the advice isn't good.

 

[blackribbon]

I don't feel like I fit in a lot either. I can behave in a way that allows me to fly under the radar and get invited some of the time. My problem is that I tend to be honest...not brutally cruel, because I try to weight the effect of my word choice...but I am going to shoot straight. It is perfect for my career choice and over and over hear patients ask me "so why didn't anyone tell me that before?" . No judgment, just options.

 

[AztecSDSU]

Materialism is rampant in the west and that is what motivates every person I know that has been in a relationship to abandon them.

Okay, you think the west is materialistic and you want to move to Japan???? LOL

 

[EyesOfKohl]

I have never asked anyone out, or been asked out myself. So this is yet to be determined ^^

 

[DrStrange]

Please don't take this the wrong way. But may i ask who are the "people like you"?

Please give a brief description of who you are. Like the basics like what industry you are working/studying in? And the more personal like how do others feel when they interact with you?

Give us some things to go with. Maybe we can help you.

And if you really want to love a woman, you got to stop thinking along the lines of "women disgusts me". Now I understand this kind of thinking is common, as at one point I felt the same way. When women disappoints you again and again this happens. But you got to stop thinking like that. Woman is not out there to please you. You are there to please them.

Jesus didn't say "Go and find people to love you."
Jesus said "Go and love other people around you."

Give away your love, and you will be loved in return. Love women, and they will love you back. This might sound crazy to you right now, I understand. But it is the truth. Jesus is the wisest, and we will be wise to trust and obey in him.

Truth is truth and love is love. I know what it is despite my lack of it. I am acute. Think about that term then take what I have professed thus far.

I don't know the mind of God. Thus I have to handle things the way I do.

 

[DrStrange]

People sin. Everyone sin. And yes coveting is a sin. But the bigger question is, is this excuse enough for us disciples of Christ to stop loving them?

Sin is sin. That ought to bring you to my understanding but alas it hasn't.

I cant make you understand me, I can only pray you can relate.

 

[DrStrange]

Materialistic women is nothing.

Jesus loves tax collectors. Jesus loves prostitutes. Jesus loves the worst of murderers, who were crucified right next to Jesus.

So forget about materialistic women. Let's talk about some real sinners. Women who lies and steals from men. Women who marry men 50 years their senior for money. Women who murdered their husbands and drowned the babies.

Sure you can hate anyone you want. There are billions of excuses for any of us to hate anyone. "Oh she is so annoying!" "Oh he promised to help me with my homework but he was no-show!" "Oh she talks about her dresses all day long!"

Once again this isn't easy. But today I just want you to see the truth of God's love. But never forget what Jesus did, and how he loved. And hence never forget what he ask us to do, and how we should love others.

I am not Jesus. I am not capable of such love. Where does your theology lie before we go any further?

 

[DrStrange]

DrS, do you feel like you don't fit in with most people?

I'm not sure how all the other responses are supposed to help you.

I would probably feel even more misunderstood, uncared about, unheard.

I doubt their advice when their behavior demonstrates the opposite.

.

Why are you afraid of truth? Sorry... I have gift for reading people.

 

[DrStrange]

Okay, you think the west is materialistic and you want to move to Japan???? LOL

Did I say I wanted to move to japan? You fail the first test of reading comprehension.

SIGH.................

 

[DrStrange]

Okay, you think the west is materialistic and you want to move to Japan???? LOL

Mockery is mockery.

 

[anewman1993]

I have never asked anyone out, or been asked out myself. So this is yet to be determined ^^

Not to be rude, but how are you a 22 year old girl who hasn't even been ask out? I mean, I'm a guy and I can understand how I haven't had a date because I don't ask very often, but as a girl I'm surprised you haven't. Are you really quite and shy or a homebody?

 

[AztecSDSU]

Mockery is mockery.

Lighten up bro, you're about as tense as a kid death gripping the handle bars when the training wheels come off. That tends to put the females of the species off more than a little.

 

[DrStrange]

Lighten up bro, you're about as tense as a kid death gripping the handle bars when the training wheels come off. That tends to put the females of the species off more than a little.

Lighten up? Say that to CHRIST on the CROSS. I am a CHRISTIAN.