In two posts, you have made two sweeping generalizations that would have made me consider paying my share of the check and walking out. I don't think you actually like women, you are too busy looking at them with disdain.
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Getting asked out
- Thread starter leothelioness
- Start date
In two posts, you have made two sweeping generalizations that would have made me consider paying my share of the check and walking out. I don't think you actually like women, you are too busy looking at them with disdain.
20 years without a single relationship will do that to you (i'm 32). Sorry this is what bitter looks like and it isn't pretty. I grew up in the hood and if you know anything about hip hop culture, then my generalization would make a lot more sense to you.
I bet you would be bitter too if you went as long as I have.
And no, I am NOT joking with you. I am cursed.
I bet you would be bitter too if you went as long as I have.
And no, I am NOT joking with you. I am cursed.
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20 years without a single relationship will do that to you (i'm 32). Sorry this is what bitter looks like and it isn't pretty. I grew up in the hood and if you know anything about hip hop culture, then my generalization would make a lot more sense to you.
I bet you would be bitter too if you went as long as I have.
And no, I am NOT joking with you. I am cursed.
I bet you would be bitter too if you went as long as I have.
And no, I am NOT joking with you. I am cursed.
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Bitter men do not make good dates. Sorry, you can cry about how life isn't fair or you can do something about it. I have met some very warm-hearted men "from the hood" who somehow survived without such a jaded view of the opposite sex. Not all women "from the hood" are as you describe...maybe you need to pick new friends...and stop trying to get the materialistic women to change their minds and go out with you....
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You somehow believe that twelve year old boys are even capable of having a "relationship"? 32 years old isn't old. Lots of men get married in their 30's. You don't need a string of relationships to get married...you just need to find the right one.
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I have and have and have and don't forget this has been going on for 20 years. Everyone has their limits blackribbon. Everyone.
And I have tried to get with other "types" of women. No one likes an intelligent man from the poor side of town no matter what he looks like (I'm 200 lbs. and I even have an athletic build and am 6'5"). Granted I have been different and an outsider my whole life but it was mostly because I was intimidating to people and ferociously independent.
It's not that I am socially awkward either. It takes a lot to put fear in me.
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Yes I hit puberty at 12 and lots of kids back then had girlfriends and yes I wanted one way back in '94.
Your right 32 isn't old, but 20 years of nothing will destroy ones hopes for the future. Like I said, everyone has their limits.
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By the way, I do want to say thank you for talking to me. I don't have a lot of friends now that I am a Christian so I don't have people to talk about these things to.
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If you think a 12 year old boy with a girlfriend is in a "relationship", then you still have a lot of maturing left to do before you are ready for one. Puberty and maturity do not mean the same thing.
So do you still live on the "wrong side of town" where you have no luck? At 32 years old, why haven't you moved? If you have moved, quit defining yourself by your past. There is plenty of affordable housing north of 8 Mile...it may not be Bloomfield Hills but you wouldn't want their kind of materialism either.
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So you have given up on women and God, not sure how that is all of women kind's responsibility. Oh, except Japanese women...so why don't you move there...but I am not sure the hiphop culture that has enslaved you meshes so well with the one where "honor" is the most important virtue in a person.
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I was being technical (I was 12 when I hit puberty).
I have moved out my family wants nothing to do with me. Like I said I am independent. I live in a halfway decent apartment complex and there is no way I am ever moving back into the hood. I don't dress like I am from the hood either save for my fitted hats. I live in Kalamazoo actually right down the highway form 8 mile.
I am born again and I don't define myself from my past its just most of the folks I have known in my life are from that culture and it is something that is hard to escape but believe me, I wish I could. I wish God would give me some money so I can move away to a small town and start over. There is nothing here for me anymore except my mother.
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You know, this is why I cant have straight honest conversations with people. How typical....
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Your mother is a woman from the same neighborhood as you? Does your less than flattering definition of women also describe her?
I am a nurse who works at a small hospital in Pontiac...trust me, I am not blind to where you are coming from but nobody is going to make your life better for you. Do something about your life if you are not happy with it...school, job change, something... Maybe you should consider working with the kids who are trapped in your old life and learn that maybe God has blessed you to have allowed you to escape that culture. I don't know about you...but some of the most Godly churches I have ever been to are in the ghettos...and trust me, the women their will fawn over a man who shows up to volunteer at church. Yes, there may be older women...but they have daughters, granddaughters, nieces, and other women in their lives who they would love to hook up with a good Christian man.
If God had allowed you to find a girlfriend when you were 12 and that continued all the way through to now...how many baby mommas do you thing you could potentially have?...and how would that be better than what you have now?
I am a nurse who works at a small hospital in Pontiac...trust me, I am not blind to where you are coming from but nobody is going to make your life better for you. Do something about your life if you are not happy with it...school, job change, something... Maybe you should consider working with the kids who are trapped in your old life and learn that maybe God has blessed you to have allowed you to escape that culture. I don't know about you...but some of the most Godly churches I have ever been to are in the ghettos...and trust me, the women their will fawn over a man who shows up to volunteer at church. Yes, there may be older women...but they have daughters, granddaughters, nieces, and other women in their lives who they would love to hook up with a good Christian man.
If God had allowed you to find a girlfriend when you were 12 and that continued all the way through to now...how many baby mommas do you thing you could potentially have?...and how would that be better than what you have now?
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You weren't having a straight conversation with me when I posted this...you were still having a pity party for one. I am sorry that it hit after you started to open up...but you did basically say this. I didn't pull it out of my hind end.
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What is keeping you where you are? Can't you start to look for a job where you would like to be?
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Yes I was (its called being brutally honest) and I am NOT asking for your pity. I am only trying to explain to you my background so you can an idea where I am coming from.
Women in America don't want a man that's puts their Christian walk above them and their children. Women in america don't understand faith to get the bills paid because the west is materialistic. Whether its on 8 mile or Bloomfield Hills. It is part and parcel in American culture.
We live in a relativistic society that is afraid of calling a spade a spade because that is how God sees truth and we have fallen way off the vine. You want to see materialism at its finest? Turn on the TV or go on the radio or drive down the street. It is destroying the west and people like me who stick out like a sore thumb get caught up in it all.
I'm frustrated about it because it is not an easy thing to live with. But don't you dare give me your pity. I don't get it from anyone else and I certainly don't expect it from you.
Women in America don't want a man that's puts their Christian walk above them and their children. Women in america don't understand faith to get the bills paid because the west is materialistic. Whether its on 8 mile or Bloomfield Hills. It is part and parcel in American culture.
We live in a relativistic society that is afraid of calling a spade a spade because that is how God sees truth and we have fallen way off the vine. You want to see materialism at its finest? Turn on the TV or go on the radio or drive down the street. It is destroying the west and people like me who stick out like a sore thumb get caught up in it all.
I'm frustrated about it because it is not an easy thing to live with. But don't you dare give me your pity. I don't get it from anyone else and I certainly don't expect it from you.
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I need to go to bed...I have five 12 hour night shifts scheduled over the next 6 days and I need to get a good sleep base to start this marathon work week on. I am happy to talk to you if you want to PM me but don't take it personally if it is a few days before I can answer. On work days, I basically work and come home and sleep...and that is it. I personally don't see you as a "lost cause" or "cursed" but you do need to get a new attitude if you want to be prepared for any woman God may put in your life. You wouldn't recognize a good woman right now or she would be highly turned off by your attitude if she walked into your life tomorrow.
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Finding work in my field is tough (IT support) when most jobs are outsourced to India. I have to fix computers on the side among other things to pay bills.
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I am a woman and I do not meet your definition of all American womankind. I know many women who do value a man who is walking in his faith...but I do not believe that it is Christian to put "his walk" over his family...God is over the family...but it is a man's job to escort his family along with him on that Christian walk. Kids can be lost because their Christian daddies give all their time and energy to the church when they should be home raising Godly children...so there is a fine line and the period that children need a daddy home is also a limited time period.
I still say you need to remove yourself from your surroundings because they are jading your vision of what life can be like.
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So start looking now since it may take some time to find the right job....just don't wait around for life to happen to you...
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