General tips and encouragement for Christian men and women about dating.

[NinjaPirate777]

I thought we could use a thread about this. Lots of Christian men and women say it is hard out there. Lots of heart ache and confusion. Tell us what you feel/think.

 

[mojoboy31]

Learn from your mistakes, don't let them make you bitter. I know it's easy to fall into hurt and be discouraged and pessimistic, but stay hopeful and keep searching. Be brave, and get out of your own way, take chances, and go with the flow. You might be pleasantly surprised. And if you crash and burn? Learn from it, shake it off, and come back stronger and smarter the next go round.

 

[bèlla]

Learn to read the signs and understand the climate. Look at the state of men, women, children and families. If they’re being demolished you shouldn’t expect a cakewalk. It’s going to be harder. Far harder than others experienced in the past. You need to adjust your strategy and ask yourself:

How do I get what I want in today’s climate? How do I find the one I seek with so much against me? This is a game. Whether or not you’re playing that’s what we’re in. And you have to be more strategic.

Don’t get caught up in your emotions. You’ve been conditioned to feel and use it as a barometer for your decisions. It’s in your music, movies, culture and even church. You can’t surrender your mind. Once you do its a downward spiral.

You have the greatest weapon inside of you. Learn to wield it and stand against the things that oppose you naturally and spiritually. Don’t talk about the problems and accept the hindrances. Pick up your sword and use it. Make war against your impediments and don’t let up until they’re defeated.

And above all stand. No matter what happened or you haven’t experienced don’t throw in the towel or make excuses. Meet the problem head on and stand your ground. What’s the purpose of having a sword if you never use it. You can’t fight on the bench.

Get out of your comfort zone and grab life by the horns. It’s the only one you’ve got. Make the most of it.

~bella

 

[peaceful-forest]

Pray to God to give you a spouse. He knows who's right for you.

 

[christiansoccerplayer]

Online dating does not work for a lot of people. If you do decide to go this route, be wary and cautious.

 

[Saucy]

I think no matter what, God is in control. Absolutely nothing is beyond His handiwork. Sometimes heartbreak is meant to mold and refine us. Other times He can make the impossible happen. Give all your worries about being single over to Him, and you will be fulfilled in not having to carry that burden around any longer. There are more important things in life than walking around focused entirely on your relationship status.

 

[NinjaPirate777]

Hypergamouse on webtoons has some good dating pieces. Dating is a skill. Like getting good at a videogame, lifting weights or learning to drive stick shift. Depending on where you are starting from it could take some time and effort to get good at.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

View attachment 323236

Hypergamouse on webtoons has some good dating pieces. Dating is a skill. Like getting good at a videogame, lifting weights or learning to drive stick shift. Depending on where you are starting from it could take some time and effort to get good at.

Unusual that he'd refer going to the gym as "inflicting pain" on oneself.

 

[bèlla]

Unusual that he'd refer going to the gym as "inflicting pain" on oneself.

Effort with no guarantee. He does it for her not himself.

 

[Lost Witness]

Matthew 6:33

 

[TheRealAriel]

-don’t be so afraid of being “casual” that you aren’t putting yourself out there to meet people. All relationships begin casual, you need to meet people to meet your person.

-don’t settle. It is far more lonely to be with someone who doesn’t love you than it is to be alone.

-try not to let your perceptions of the opposite sex jade your getting to know someone new. If you are getting to know someone through the lens of your negative stereotypes, that is all you will see in them.

-take an interest in people. Don’t expect everyone to approach you and ask you a hundred questions about yourself. Ask others questions, show interest, make them want to open up.

 

[Sketcher]

View attachment 323236

Hypergamouse on webtoons has some good dating pieces. Dating is a skill. Like getting good at a videogame, lifting weights or learning to drive stick shift. Depending on where you are starting from it could take some time and effort to get good at.

"Be yourself" is a massive lie. They tell you to be yourself, and then they tell you that being yourself isn't good enough.

 

[NinjaPirate777]

"Be yourself" is a massive lie. They tell you to be yourself, and then they tell you that being yourself isn't good enough.

Be yourself has truth to it. It's like starting out in an FPS the first time versus when you are a veteran at it, think Tom Cruise in Edge of Tomorrow. Both are you, but one is with experience. The US church and society used to prepare gals and guys for life where they would find a mate and marry for life. Many misguided Christian parents teach this to their children without explaining how the world works differently. These days the fathers are often out of the picture and mom says any woman would be lucky to have you my dear dear boy. Also, since the sexual market has been deregulated you have 20% of the guys getting 80% of the women's attentions. It's not an ideal situation for the faint of heart. It's a battle IRL of sorts.

If you persevere you can succeed. Both men and women, I know it's hard out there. Never give up!!

 

[mojoboy31]

don’t settle. It is far more lonely to be with someone who doesn’t love you than it is to be alone.

Totally agree. I have said it a billion times: "there's far worse things than being single."

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Also, since the sexual market has been deregulated you have 20% of the guys getting 80% of the women's attentions.

Man, I'm hearing this 80/20 stat just about in every relationship/dating site imaginable. Of course you'll always get someone trying to debunk this stat.

 

[LoveDivine]

You can settle for less, but it won't bring happiness in the longrun. Once the excitement and relief ( that you got married ) is over, you have to live with the person who is not compatible.I have seen first hand so much unhappiness develop in the lives of those who were desperate to be married and compromised to get a spouse. It doesn't bring the happiness that they were hoping for. It is so much more stressful and miserable than dealing with singleness. This all sounds so cliche, until you watch someone go through it. It is tough.

I think we can find encouragement in the fact that even if it takes many years to meet the right person, the time spent waiting is not wasted. You are building a life and developing as a person. You might end up discovering so many hobbies and interests ( while you are still single ) that you would never have explored if you were already married. You can still enjoy your life in the meantime and be free to pursue potentials.