Gender Roles & Stereotypes

[Tamara224]

What does it mean to act like a man?
What does it mean to behave like a lady?
Should we even care?

Gender stereotypes are commonly held beliefs about characteristics, traits, and activity-domains that are deemed appropriate for men and women.
​

These beliefs are so ingrained in our consciousness that many of us think gender roles are natural, so we don't question them. Even if we don't consciously subscribe to them as part of our own belief system, our culture bombards us with messages about what it means to be men and women today.


What stereotypes have you noticed? From the media (movies, TV, magazines, etc) from church, school, peers, etc.?


What are some gender stereotypes that particularly bug you?

Which ones do you think have validity?




Note: This is not intended to be a debate thread. Please respect differing opinions. Thanks.

 

[Life2Christ]

What does it mean to act like a man?

It takes brute strength to kill the family dinner, lift the carcass into the pick up then grill it after you kill it. Then taken to Valhalla to drink in the hall of heroes.


But seriously,my definition: to love your family and respect your loved ones. I know there are many non-Christians on this board but a Christian man is the head of his household and the spiritual leader of his family.

 

[Howard Cneal]

I don't mean to be all evolutionary-psychology-like on you, but many of our behaviors, patterns and ideas about appropriate gender-specific behavior are built in. (Even if you don't believe in evolution, which I'm not saying I do, the argument still carries weight.)

Flirting, for instance, appears to be mostly biologically inbedded. Also, in general... there are certain things, cross-culturally that all men seem to look for in women, and vice versa for women in men. They are absolutes, and they indicate that some behaviors and values are biologically programmed into us. I believe God is the one responsible for such programming, myself.

 

[crishmael]

I get bugged that most male gender stereotypes in some way involve violence, competition, power, or their genitals.

I'm not an amorous gorilla with a gun! I'm more of a Gorilla Grodd.

 

[TanteBelle]

What does it mean to act like a man?
What does it mean to behave like a lady?
Should we even care?

Gender stereotypes are commonly held beliefs about characteristics, traits, and activity-domains that are deemed appropriate for men and women.
​

These beliefs are so ingrained in our consciousness that many of us think gender roles are natural, so we don't question them. Even if we don't consciously subscribe to them as part of our own belief system, our culture bombards us with messages about what it means to be men and women today.

What stereotypes have you noticed? From the media (movies, TV, magazines, etc) from church, school, peers, etc.?

What are some gender stereotypes that particularly bug you?

Which ones do you think have validity?

Note: This is not intended to be a debate thread. Please respect differing opinions. Thanks.

This use to be a bother to me. I've always been what folks'd call 'butch' or 'tomboy' by nature. I like wearing jeans, shorts, and stuff like that. And since I was a kid, everyone has told me that I'm 'not lady-like'. As I got older and started to appreciate being a woman, that has bothered me coz to this day, folks say that I'm not lady like and my Ma considers herself a failure as a mother because I'm not! Now, I can't destroy the things I'm interested in for the sake of my mother's comfortability. And that got me thinking, what does it mean to be a 'lady'? Someone who has manners and etiquette like the Queen of England? What about the woman who's being a 'help meet' to her husband out on the farm and doing the hard yard!? What about those women who were falsly accused of crimes and deported to Australia when it was first a convict colony? Having lost all dignity and humanity they were in the most dispicable conditions we couldn't even grasp. What of those women? What of the women who are sold into prostitution and have no choice in the matter? Losing all self respect? What of those 'ladies'? To me, what makes a lady is demonstrated in her actions and what is in her heart and soul. When my Ma said to me, 'Now, just coz you're going hunting, remember to act like a lady!' I'm like, 'What the??' Now, it makes perfect sense to me!

 

[Isambard]

I would say gender roles are as natural and coherent as racial roles.

 

[Tamara224]

I don't mean to be all evolutionary-psychology-like on you, but many of our behaviors, patterns and ideas about appropriate gender-specific behavior are built in. (Even if you don't believe in evolution, which I'm not saying I do, the argument still carries weight.)

A stereotype isn't necessarily wrong just because it's a stereotype. I don't really mean for this thread to get into a debate of "nature vs. culture". Some things are instinct, some things are just deeply ingrained societal norms.

For the purposes of this thread, though, I'd rather focus on specific stereotypes that you like or don't like, think are true or not true, etc.

Flirting, for instance, appears to be mostly biologically inbedded.

But how is "flirting" a gender stereotype?

Also, in general... there are certain things, cross-culturally that all men seem to look for in women, and vice versa for women in men. They are absolutes, and they indicate that some behaviors and values are biologically programmed into us. I believe God is the one responsible for such programming, myself.

Which behaviors do you think are programmed into us and cross-cultural?

 

[Blank123]

its funny we were talking about this at work the other day.

I firmly believe in gender roles as described in the Bible (men should be the spiritual leaders, and women should submit - not be doormats though), but beyond that i think our culture has designed its own gender roles that it expects women to fill. Go into the toy section of any store. You'll see for the boys they have toy guns and soldiers because men are expected to be physically strong and to fight. For the girls, they have toy kitchen sets and brooms, because women are expected to be homemakers. The ingraining starts right from the beginning. Even commercials always show women being the ones who care about cleaning their home or cooking for their family, or caring for their children. You'll never see a commercial where a father wants the best possible option in buying diapers or toys for his own children.

Its like some part of us has stayed stuck in the 1950s mindset that women cannot have identities outside of their homes and that men can only find their identities in their work or culture's definition of "manliness"

And this is coming from a woman who one day hopes to be a SAHM. I just firmly believe women should be allowed options for their own lives and that men or women should not be forced into a box.

 

[K9_Trainer]

Well in my eyes, a "real man" or a "real woman" are adults. There is nothing that you can say a "real man" should be, that a "real woman" shouldn't be also. Honest? Respectful? Kind? Polite? Thoughtful? Have themselves together? Nurturing? Common sense? Be able to make the right decisions despite emotional tugs? Regardless of whatever character traits that somebody can name, they should be traits of men AND women, thus traits of mature adults.

There are commercials all the time that enforce the "man is the breadwinnner, wife is the home maker" thing. And its definitely not always true.

But what really bugs me are the double standards.

Like, if a man puts his foot down and gives direction, he's a boss. If a woman does this? She's a witch with a capital B. If a man sleeps with many women and expresses his sexuality comfortably, he's a stud. If a woman has multiple partners and is comfortable in expressing her sexuality, she's a sl ut. If a man is being grouchy, he's having a bad day. If a woman is being grouchy? She's PMS-ing.

 

[Tamara224]

I get bugged that most male gender stereotypes in some way involve violence, competition, power, or their genitals.

Yup, that bugs me too.

I also hate the commercials and sit coms that have the stupid man who can't be trusted to be alone with the kids, or tie his own shoes, if his wife isn't there.

I'm not an amorous gorilla with a gun! I'm more of a Gorilla Grodd.

 

[Howard Cneal]

[

A stereotype isn't necessarily wrong just because it's a stereotype. I don't really mean for this thread to get into a debate of "nature vs. culture". Some things are instinct, some things are just deeply ingrained societal norms.

For the purposes of this thread, though, I'd rather focus on specific stereotypes that you like or don't like, think are true or not true, etc.

Oh, okay then. lol I probably won't have much to say then.

I like "girly girls" but I don't have any problems with other types, in general. I may not want to date someone that is like that - but I don't find any stereotypes really offend me; men OR women.

I like most people, in general, I meet. Tough guys, princesses, and all the rest in between.


But how is "flirting" a gender stereotype?

Certain flirting behaviors can be. It's more tied to attraction, how we respond and so forth. I wouldn't really use the word stereotype here though. As I said, I don't think I'll have much to add to this discussion. lol

Which behaviors do you think are programmed into us and cross-cultural?

Mostly what men look for in a mate, and what women go for.

Flirting behaviors are often unconscious and programmed right in. But that's not where you were going, so I'll just bow out. I don't want to steal your thunder by going off topic here. I wouldn't consider any of what I mentioned to be stereotypes per se, so it would better belong in a topic about flirting and attraction, as opposed to gender roles in and of themselves.

Although I will say that many of the qualities men go for in women, and vice versa, do appear to come from the biologically programmed in behaviors. I.e. strong males in leadership, versus nurturing, caring females who like children.

It's not as overt, but it's still there - when you consider what many people want in a mate.

 

[MehTeh]

Stereotype: Which gender spends most of it's time on funniest home videos clutching between their legs? Or suffering some sort of pain?

Recently making the rounds was a story about a girl who likes Star Wars (under 10 yo). She was told at school by boys that SW was only for boys. There was a lot of response, especially from some industry heavyweights. Turns out 50%+ of the SyFy channel watchers are female. I'll post some links in a few hours when I'm home.

 

[Tamara224]

IJWTS that I almost boycotted the SyFy channel when they adopted that stupid spelling.

 

[broken_one]

What stereotypes have you noticed? From the media (movies, TV, magazines, etc) from church, school, peers, etc.?


What are some gender stereotypes that particularly bug you?

Which ones do you think have validity?

I notice a lot of men act like they are above other other men when in large groups or with women. The term "secure in their masculinity" seems to elude the typical male.

I also see a lot of women manipulate men like marionettes. This is another stereotype of the woman as the witch (this time I actually mean witch), enchanting one man and then another to do whatever they want.

And on top of that, why does every guy friend I know HATE the girlfriends of some of our other friends. Like the guy is made fun of constantly for being whipped, and the girls are seen, like I said, as the evil witch.



I think more the quickness to stereotype others before getting to know them. I'm seen too often as a "wierdo" because my jerk roommates say things about me before I even meet these people, so when I see other people who I don't know I'm already digging myself out of a hole. :\


And in order to not start a flame war , I won't elaborate on what stereotype may be truthful and what isn't.

 

[PassionFruit]

What does it mean to act like a man?
What does it mean to behave like a lady?
Should we even care?

Gender stereotypes are commonly held beliefs about characteristics, traits, and activity-domains that are deemed appropriate for men and women.
​

These beliefs are so ingrained in our consciousness that many of us think gender roles are natural, so we don't question them. Even if we don't consciously subscribe to them as part of our own belief system, our culture bombards us with messages about what it means to be men and women today.


What stereotypes have you noticed? From the media (movies, TV, magazines, etc) from church, school, peers, etc.?


What are some gender stereotypes that particularly bug you?

Which ones do you think have validity?




Note: This is not intended to be a debate thread. Please respect differing opinions. Thanks.

I guess socially speaking what it means to act like a man is to be strong, aggressive, assertive, possessing leadership qualities. For women generally being ladylike is being nurturing, being passive, etc.


Generally speaking as a society we like to punish those who don't fit within their gender roles. There are numerous examples of this, one is how gays and lesbians are treated, another example is how if men generally have feminine characteristics he is viewed as being a "[bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]" or a "wimp." The same for women, when we are assertive we're viewed as being the b-word. Then there's the negative attitudes toward cross-dressers. Not only that, there's a hatred for those who challenge those stereotypes, i.e. the hatred towards feminists.

There are a lot of stereotypes in the media I noticed and I feel there's too many to list. I'm pretty much put off by stereotypes in general. I just feel that we're all humans and we're complex. It's possible for a man to have feminine characteristics and it's possible for a woman to have masculine characteristics.

I feel there are of course differences between men and women (both social and biological) but are we so different that we have to placed within these tiny boxes? I don't think so.

 

[Miles]

I've lost track of commonly held contemporary gender stereotypes. They're all over the map... so I'll address a few of the older ones.

Back in the days of my grandparents and great-grandparents, the "real" men and women seemed to be ladies and gentlemen. They were more cultured and dignified than most people of our era. Things like honesty, integrity, and kindness seemed to be held in higher esteem. The women may have been expected to be more motherly, but I don't think they were universally considered less intelligent or valuable than men. Both of my grandmothers worked before they married. When they had children, they stayed home to raise them. I always linked that to the fact that women (not men) give birth, rather than a notion that women were somehow inferior. Both the mother and the father relied on each other when raising a family. The idea that "the man must be the breadwinner" sounds vulgar to my ears, but do I think it's biologically natural for the father to work outside of the home while the mother tends to the children (if they have any). In an ideal world, mother and father would be able to stay home with the children, or bring them along on outings, but somebody had to do the daily grind to pay the bills... and that tended to fall on the man's shoulders. He was the least physically vulnerable of the two, was generally expected to fill that role. It should be noted, that it was people like them who gave women the right to vote.

I can't think of many lady and gentleman stereotypes for singles of their era... other than that women were the beautiful ones who wore dresses and heels, whereas the men were the more utilitarian ones who wore suits and fedoras. Sure, most of the men were physically stronger than most of the women, and maybe they were more stone-faced in public, but I don't think that was to the detriment of either sex. It simply was. Theater (and early Hollywood) took some of those things to an extreme for the sake of theatrical drama, but I think most mature adults were able to differentiate between movies and reality.

Were some women mistreated by some men? Yes. Sadly, that still happen today. However, I neither think abuse is gentlemanly nor do I think that tolerating abuse is ladylike. Hitting a woman is something that gentleman simply does not do. Treasure her, physically protect her she is in danger, but never abuse. Come to think of it, that's one of my gender stereotypes. A real man helps a woman. He doesn't harm her. Likewise, a real woman helps her man. She doesn't try to "bring him down a notch" like some modern women try to do.

As far as women working, women have always worked on farms. I wouldn't be surprised if female labor, including sharing in the hunting duties (if a woman happened to be talented that way), is actually older than the idea that the man must be the breadwinner and that the woman should sit on her butt all day.

I don't think of bygone eras as halcyon days of milk and honey. Society was flawed in many ways. There seemed to be more pockets of racism, ungentlemanly men were more free to sexually harass women etc. Talk about detestable behavior. Thank God some aspects of society have changed for the better. Not that I think most men of past eras were chauvinistic racists. Some were, but modern society seems better equipped to handle that kind of thing.

 

[BranwenUerchLlyr]

I don't mean to be all evolutionary-psychology-like on you, but many of our behaviors, patterns and ideas about appropriate gender-specific behavior are built in. (Even if you don't believe in evolution, which I'm not saying I do, the argument still carries weight.)

Flirting, for instance, appears to be mostly biologically inbedded. Also, in general... there are certain things, cross-culturally that all men seem to look for in women, and vice versa for women in men. They are absolutes, and they indicate that some behaviors and values are biologically programmed into us. I believe God is the one responsible for such programming, myself.

Beware of the naturalistic fallacy, though--what is isn't necessarily what ought to be.

 

[white dove]

I guess socially speaking what it means to act like a man is to be strong, aggressive, assertive, possessing leadership qualities. For women generally being ladylike is being nurturing, being passive, etc.


Generally speaking as a society we like to punish those who don't fit within their gender roles. There are numerous examples of this, one is how gays and lesbians are treated, another example is how if men generally have feminine characteristics he is viewed as being a "[bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]" or a "wimp." The same for women, when we are assertive we're viewed as being the b-word. Then there's the negative attitudes toward cross-dressers. Not only that, there's a hatred for those who challenge those stereotypes, i.e. the hatred towards feminists.

There are a lot of stereotypes in the media I noticed and I feel there's too many to list. I'm pretty much put off by stereotypes in general. I just feel that we're all humans and we're complex. It's possible for a man to have feminine characteristics and it's possible for a woman to have masculine characteristics.

I feel there are of course differences between men and women (both social and biological) but are we so different that we have to placed within these tiny boxes? I don't think so.

Just had to pop in and say you've been missed around here.

 

[Thunder Peel]

Does this mean I don't have to beat my chest and howl at the moon anymore?

 

[PassionFruit]

Just had to pop in and say you've been missed around here.

Thanks, really needed a break.

Yup, that bugs me too.

I also hate the commercials and sit coms that have the stupid man who can't be trusted to be alone with the kids, or tie his own shoes, if his wife isn't there.

Yeah, the fathers are usually dopes who can't make dinner for themselves, can't do laundry, just want to watch footaball all day and drink beer. If I were a guy I would be a lot more troubled by how masculinity is defined these days.