Future spouse checklist

[SnowyMacie]

What's important to you in a future spouse? If the phrasing isn't clear let me know, but these are in reference to what you (the poster) would prefer to find in a potential mate in terms of their background, education, lifestyle, etc.

Clear as mud?

When you determine your decision, simply make one of the options in the parenthesis bold.

**Edits made to amend phrasing and add an additional option in the answer selection.

Background:

Parents:
-Were themselves raised in Christian homes. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-Were married when they had them. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-Are still married. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-Are/were both practicing Christians. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-Occupied traditional gender roles: father worked and provided, mother tended to the household and did much of the child-rearing. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-Never struggled with addiction, i.e. alcoholism (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-Owned their home. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)

Education:
-They attended a private/parochial school for primary/middle/secondary education, or some combination thereof. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They attended a four-year post-secondary institution and received their undergraduate (bachelors) degree. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They attended post-secondary (graduate) school and received a masters degree or doctorate. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They attended a professional school such as business school, law school or medical school. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)

Current lifestyle:

Career:
-They knew exactly what career you wanted upon finishing school. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They took some time off after school to explore the world and work part-time jobs before jumping into a career. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They work in a corporate environment. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They are self-employed. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They work for a small business/practice. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)

Living situation:
-They live alone, renting their own apartment/condo. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They live with roommates, sharing an apartment/condo. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They live with their parents - still, or recently moved in with them. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They are crashing with a friend until they figure out their situation. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
It would really depend on the circumstances. If this was the case when we met due to some unfortunate events, it's different than if she was mooching off of for years.
-They own their own home. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)

Faith:
-They are currently a practicing Christian. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They never doubted, rejected or "took a break from" or otherwise "backslid" in their faith at any point. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
To be honest, I would doubt the strength and sincerity of their faith if they had never doubted their faith in any way.
-They have been a part of the same tradition, i.e. Anglican, Baptist, Catholic, Eastern Orthodox, Lutheran, Methodist, etc, for their entire life. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They have bounced around to three or more different churches (or traditions/denominations) in the past five years. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
There are valid reasons for moving churches this much, and some that are just church-hopping while being afraid of commitment.
-They spend at least an hour of their day in prayer. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They read their bible daily. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
How much they know is more important than how often they read scripture.
-They study theology, i.e. Early Church Fathers, Thomas Aquinas, CS Lewis, Hans Urs von Balthasar, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, etc., semi-regularly (maybe once per year). (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
Theology is important, but they don't have to be an expert.
-They believe it's important to put faith into action by meeting the needs of the poor, oppressed and marginalized, whether it be locally, nationally or abroad. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
Faith without works is dead. If they aren't living out their faith, I'd doubt it's sincerity.

Personal

Romantic:
-They have never been in a relationship before. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They have been in fewer than five relationships total. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They have never been married. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They are a virgin. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They have never kissed anyone in a romantic manner. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They believe sex is strictly for procreation. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
Considering that I am not sure if I want to have children, and if I do, I am going to adopt, this simply would not work.

Recreation:
-They enjoy sports such as baseball, basketball and football. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
Sports are so important to my family it's basically a value. An interest in and enjoying sports is pretty vital in fitting in with my family in any way. My bro-in-law didn't watch sports until getting involved with us, and now is as big of a sports fan as the rest of us are.
-They enjoy extreme sports like rock climbing, surfing, skateboarding, snowboarding/skiing, windsurfing, wakeboardin/wakeskating, parasailing, base jumping, or sky diving. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They enjoy camping, hiking, backpacking, kayaking, fishing. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)

Emotions:
-They wear their emotions on their sleeve, letting those close to them know exactly how they feel. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
I think people should be more open and honest about how they feel.
-They are sensitive in that they are moved to tears, for good or bad reasons, quite easily. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They are stoic in that they play their emotional hand close to the vest and only tell someone close to them what they're feeling if it's REALLY important, if ever. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
This is how my family is and I don't like it.
-They are middle-of-the-road, neither too stoic nor overly emotional. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)

Personality:
-They are particularly creative, they enjoy creating works of art whether it's painting, photography, cinematography, writing, sculpting, metal work, etc. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They appreciate other works of art, i.e. Michelangelo or Bernini. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They thrive when they are in a quiet space, either alone or with 1-2 people they're close with. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They thrive in a lively, loud environment full of people. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
I'm pretty much right in the middle between an extrovert and introvert, and could be happy with both.
-A day off is better spent on the go, getting things done. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-A day off is better spent relaxing and soaking in the world around them. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
A balance is absolutely key. While sometimes things needs to be done, there is a reason why God instituted the Sabbath, we need rest.

Food/drink preferences:
-They love to try new things, especially exotic or foreign food. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They know what they like and don't wish to deviate from that. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They enjoy soda, coffee, tea or other caffeinated drinks regularly throughout the day. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They enjoy alcoholic drinks in moderation. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They are pro-temperance. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
Considering that I do drink, it would be pretty hard for me to date someone who is pro-temperance.

 

[Cearbhall]

Alright, I'm procrastinating, so I'll do another section. I'm changing Not Required to Neutral.

Education:
-They attended a private/parochial school for primary/middle/secondary education, or some combination thereof. (Required, Prefer, Neutral, Prefer Not)
-They attended a four-year post-secondary institution and received their undergraduate (bachelors) degree. (Required, Prefer, Neutral, Prefer Not)
-They attended post-secondary (graduate) school and received a masters degree or doctorate. (Required, Prefer, Neutral, Prefer Not)
-They attended a professional school such as business school, law school or medical school. (Required, Prefer, Neutral, Prefer Not)

 

[NewUser777]

What's important to you in a future spouse?

Where's Hot Body?

 

[Gnarwhal]

Where's Hot Body?

Right here.

 

[Zelda_Freak]

What's important to you in a future spouse? If the phrasing isn't clear let me know, but these are in reference to what you (the poster) would prefer to find in a potential mate in terms of their background, education, lifestyle, etc.

Clear as mud?

When you determine your decision, simply make one of the options in the parenthesis bold.

**Edits made to amend phrasing and add an additional option in the answer selection.

Background:

Parents:
-Were themselves raised in Christian homes. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-Were married when they had them. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
Having your children within marriage is important to me but if they weren't that doesn't mean it always has to affect the child.
-Are still married. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-Are/were both practicing Christians. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
It's nice if he was raised a Christian but it's fine if he wasn't. And growing up in a Christian home doesn't always mean the kid wanted to be a Christian anyway.
-Occupied traditional gender roles: father worked and provided, mother tended to the household and did much of the child-rearing. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-Never struggled with addiction, i.e. alcoholism (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-Owned their home. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)

Education:
-They attended a private/parochial school for primary/middle/secondary education, or some combination thereof. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They attended a four-year post-secondary institution and received their undergraduate (bachelors) degree. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They attended post-secondary (graduate) school and received a masters degree or doctorate. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They attended a professional school such as business school, law school or medical school. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)

Current lifestyle:

Career:
-They knew exactly what career you wanted upon finishing school. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They took some time off after school to explore the world and work part-time jobs before jumping into a career. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They work in a corporate environment. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They are self-employed. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They work for a small business/practice. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)

Living situation:
-They live alone, renting their own apartment/condo. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They live with roommates, sharing an apartment/condo. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They live with their parents - still, or recently moved in with them. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not but it depends on the situation.)
-They are crashing with a friend until they figure out their situation. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They own their own home. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)

Faith:
-They are currently a practicing Christian. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They never doubted, rejected or "took a break from" or otherwise "backslid" in their faith at any point. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They have been a part of the same tradition, i.e. Anglican, Baptist, Catholic, Eastern Orthodox, Lutheran, Methodist, etc, for their entire life. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They have bounced around to three or more different churches (or traditions/denominations) in the past five years. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They spend at least an hour of their day in prayer. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
It doesn't have to be a whole hour. But I'd like it if they tried to pray everyday.
-They read their bible daily. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
Reading the Word is important but it doesn't have to be every day. I can't demand something of someone that I don't always do myself.
-They study theology, i.e. Early Church Fathers, Thomas Aquinas, CS Lewis, Hans Urs von Balthasar, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, etc., semi-regularly (maybe once per year). (Required, Not Required,Prefer , Prefer Not)
-They believe it's important to put faith into action by meeting the needs of the poor, oppressed and marginalized, whether it be locally, nationally or abroad. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)

Faith is very important to me and I would have to discuss it with any guy I was considering marrying.

Personal

Romantic:
-They have never been in a relationship before. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They have been in fewer than five relationships total. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
As long as I know he's not some terrible player.
-They have never been married. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They are a virgin. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They have never kissed anyone in a romantic manner. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They believe sex is strictly for procreation. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)

Recreation:
-They enjoy sports such as baseball, basketball and football. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They enjoy extreme sports like rock climbing, surfing, skateboarding, snowboarding/skiing, windsurfing, wakeboarding/wakeskating, parasailing, base jumping, or sky diving. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not if it's something dangerous or very expensive)
-They enjoy camping, hiking, backpacking, kayaking, fishing. (Required,Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)

Emotions:
-They wear their emotions on their sleeve, letting those close to them know exactly how they feel. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
This is not required. Be nice if he did share some feelings, though.
-They are sensitive in that they are moved to tears, for good or bad reasons, quite easily. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They are stoic in that they play their emotional hand close to the vest and only tell someone close to them what they're feeling if it's REALLY important, if ever. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
I imagine this would probably really bother me.
-They are middle-of-the-road, neither too stoic nor overly emotional. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)

Personality:
-They are particularly creative, they enjoy creating works of art whether it's painting, photography, cinematography, writing, sculpting, metal work, etc. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They appreciate other works of art, i.e. Michelangelo or Bernini. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They thrive when they are in a quiet space, either alone or with 1-2 people they're close with. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They thrive in a lively, loud environment full of people. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-A day off is better spent on the go, getting things done. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-A day off is better spent relaxing and soaking in the world around them. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)

Food/drink preferences:
-They love to try new things, especially exotic or foreign food. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They know what they like and don't wish to deviate from that. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
-They enjoy soda, coffee, tea or other caffeinated drinks regularly throughout the day. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
Fine with me if they drink that stuff, as long as its not the only stuff they drink, I want someone to take care of themselves and be healthy.
-They enjoy alcoholic drinks in moderation. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)
Having a drink sometimes is fine as long as there's not an issue with it.
-They are pro-temperance. (Required, Not Required, Prefer, Prefer Not)

**I changed some of my answers and added in commentary.

 

[Zelda_Freak]

What's important to you in a future spouse?

When you determine your decision, simply make one of the options in the parenthesis bold.

Hey, you should fill it out too

 

[sundewgrower]

I've learned what I want as time passes.
So I think now a days I at least have a good idea, so I won't waste anyone time, and only involve myself if it has a good shot of working out for something more.

 

[redblue22]

Christian, light exercise (read: sexual healing), preference for low carb diet.

has she followed on to her many dreams? and is that something I could be part of?

does she try to learn new things or is she stuck back in whatever grade?

does she look for the positive even in bad situations?

how much time does she want with me? sees good in me? helps out with my dreams?

does she think of me to buy some little nothing? does she appreciate my nothings?

do we have a time of talking each evening?

And if she doesn't want any of these from me, then what the heck is she waiting for from me?

Above and beyond all this is a love for neighbors, enemies, helping others, praying for missions.

If I offer all this does she treat me like a punk? or does she trust and love me enough to see the reality?