Frustrated

[tyield1102]

I went today to see the doctor, but they can't get me in for another 2 weeks It made me want to cry right there on the spot. If this continues the way it has I will either not have an eyebrow or I will have a small bald spot on the front of my head I also e-mailed the pastor at my church and asked him if there was any way possible for him to talk to me about the things I'm going through hoping that what he says will get through this thick skull of mine and I will turn back to God and be saved. I keep reading and hearing about how in the end of times so many christians turn from God and damn themselves and become cold in their hearts and all I can think is that is me. I feel like I don't have a choice like I'm trapped to make the decision to leave God and be damned. It's like it was already decided that is where I would go and now I just have to do it. Kind of like that is my destiny you could say to be damned. I think to myself why would someone do that except out of stupidity someone would just have to be plain stupid to leave God. I look at my life and see that there is no point to it without God. What would be my purpose? What would be my goal? To have nice things? Sure that would be nice, but that can get taken away from me. To see my kids grow up? I would like to, but that's not guaranteed. To me if my purpose was to live on this earth only to go to Hell none of it is worth it. Knowing and loving my family and friends not worth it. I a lot of times wish I had never been born. Which I think I read somewhere in the Bible that someone who thinks that way after leaving the faith and going to Hell feels, not sure, but I think I did read it. This all just bites. I'm so frustrated, mainly at myself for letting thoughts come into my head and just stay there. For not being stronger for not sticking by God and keeping strong in my faith. It feels like when you know you've done something wrong and you can't take it back no matter how much you want to.

 

[annrobert]

I went today to see the doctor, but they can't get me in for another 2 weeks It made me want to cry right there on the spot.

I pray God hold you up and strengthen you and lead you and give you wisdom and meet your needs.I also pray that God give your doctor wisdom and guidance as he helps you too.



If this continues the way it has I will either not have an eyebrow or I will have a small bald spot on the front of my head I also e-mailed the pastor at my church and asked him if there was any way possible for him to talk to me about the things I'm going through hoping that what he says will get through this thick skull of mine and I will turn back to God and be saved. I keep reading and hearing about how in the end of times so many christians turn from God and damn themselves and become cold in their hearts and all I can think is that is me. I feel like I don't have a choice like I'm trapped to make the decision to leave God and be damned. It's like it was already decided that is where I would go and now I just have to do it. Kind of like that is my destiny you could say to be damned. I think to myself why would someone do that except out of stupidity someone would just have to be plain stupid to leave God. I look at my life and see that there is no point to it without God. What would be my purpose? What would be my goal? To have nice things? Sure that would be nice, but that can get taken away from me. To see my kids grow up? I would like to, but that's not guaranteed. To me if my purpose was to live on this earth only to go to Hell none of it is worth it. Knowing and loving my family and friends not worth it. I a lot of times wish I had never been born. Which I think I read somewhere in the Bible that someone who thinks that way after leaving the faith and going to Hell feels, not sure, but I think I did read it. This all just bites. I'm so frustrated, mainly at myself for letting thoughts come into my head and just stay there. For not being stronger for not sticking by God and keeping strong in my faith. It feels like when you know you've done something wrong and you can't take it back no matter how much you want to.

God is not willing that any perish.

Jesus said he that cometh to Me I will in no wise cast out.


Jesus died for the sins of the whole world.


Jesus is the Lamb of God Who takes away the sins of the world.

we cannot take our sins away.

Jesus does that.

Jesus is Lord and Saviour.

Jesus said whosoever will may come and drink freely from the Water of Life.

Jesus is that Living Water.

Jesus will in no wise cast anyone out who comes to Him for mercy.


Acts 17:30
And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth ALL men every where to repent:


God commands all men every where to repent.
because He loves them and is not willing that any persih.

I am sorry you are hurting and I hope you get better soon.

 

[shelovesChrist]

Believe the Word. I know sometimes it gets hard because of these thoughts but you're going to be okay. You had a bad day and we have those in life especially with these thoughts but God understands. Don't turn away from Him. Keep reading the Word and praying and praising Him. Don't let these thoughts keep you from Him please. Don't give up on God. He knows and understands better than you do so just give it all to Christ and pick your head up and keep going. Please don't turn away from God. Everything isn't going to disappear in one day, things take time and patience but honor God and wait on him through these trails and He won't fail you. He won't. He loves you beyond what you can imagine. Peter stepped out on the water with Jesus and he was fine until he let the heavy winds scare him and he took his eyes off Christ. But he called out for Christ to save him and Christ immediately saved Him. Call out to Jesus and trust on Him that He will guide you through this storm. He can do the same for you. I'm praying.

Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for me?

 

[shelovesChrist]

Jeremiah 32:27 Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh: is there anything too hard for me?

 

[RuthD]

I'm sorry you are going through this struggle. I have felt awful from OCD before getting medicine to make it slow down and reduce it to almost nothing. I was feeling desperate to see the doc. You can make it through another 2 weeks. Please try to relax as much as you can. Exercise helps and so does meditation and relaxation techniques. You can probably get information on these things by doing a search on Yahoo, Google, etc. I am praying for you. God bless.

 

[tyield1102]

Thank you all for the replies. I ended up going to the doctor the very next day as a walk in and was able to talk to someone. He put me back on my Zoloft and wants me to start with a psychologist to help me to think different and deal with the thoughts and anxiety. I'm not really looking forward to that, to be honest it scares me. God did bless me though with a doctor that day that I actually liked and could really open up to. It wasn't the same one I had seen before. He is now going to be my primary doctor. I'm really struggling right now with seeing my old self rise up in me again and I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. It makes me think I am falling away from God. I'm meeting with my pastor this coming up week though and I will be discussing a lot of these issues with him and hoping that by doing that I can see the truth again and turn away from the road I'm going down. All I can see is my sin in me and the more I don't like it and don't want to see it or do the things I'm doing the more it manifests itself in me. Are people who are truly saved this way? This makes me think I either wasn't saved or am just falling away with the chance of becoming an apostate. Yet last night I was talking to my sister for like 5 hours on the phone and most of the conversation was about God and I wasn't having the bad thoughts about Him I usually do and she told me she could hear the love I have for Him and the passion in my voice for Him. I don't see it, but maybe that is just because of the OCD or something else. I was worried throughout the whole conversation though that I was leading her away from God or that I was giving her false information and I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to lead her astray. I just told her if she is worried about her salvation she needs to ask Jesus into her life and ask Him to remove anything that is blocking her from accepting Him. Sorry this is so long. Thanks again for the replies.

 

[shelovesChrist]

Feelings can be very misleading. Regardless of how you feel Christ is still on the throne and He knows your heart. He knows you don't want these thoughts because you're seeking help. I did the same thing. Went to a therapist, talked to friends, ran to the church, talked to my teacher. Just felt like running until I found an answer or some kind of explanation. It was really hard but just pray and talk to Him and tell Him what thoughts bother you and why they bother you and tell Him about the person that you want to be. Set some time aside and just talk to Him and tell Him all these things. The other day I was just frustrated and I was like God you know I don't like when my mind does this and when I think that because of this and that. When they first started happening I just wanted one answer and one quick solution. How to stop them. But He made a way so I could bear it and lately they've been clearing up alot. But just continue to pray and be patient and wait on Him and you're going to be alright. He knows what you need. Praise Him in the midst of all this because your batltle is already won. You just have to hold on to your faith. Don't doubt your salvation. Trust what the Word says. All saints have problems from time but just focus on who you serve. The only God. Righteous. Merciful. Just. Loving. I prayed for you.

1 John 3: 20 For if our own hearts condemn us, God is greater than out heart, and knoweth all things.