Frustrated with my bf

[Angeleyes7715]

My bf is a marijuana smoker and listens to loud cursing/ violent rap music. I hate drugs and I hate that kind of music.

I'm frustrated with my boyfriend because tonight he smoked two times, I wasn't around him when he smoked, but after he got on his video game with his online friends. I hadn't seen him all week due to work and we didn't even talk that much through text this week.

He will hug me back and stuff but he didn't kiss me at all the other day and he seemed to not care whether I stayed or left. So I left and went home. Then I text him saying we need to talk. And he text back once saying he was in the restroom at that moment and he didn't respond or text back after that. That what frustrates me the most.

I love this person and frankly I might have to be with them if I'm pregnant or something( we aren't having sex now anymore), but this person is doing this and now I feel pretty hopeless about the relationship. I don't want to be alone in this life but when someone is acting this way I still feel alone.

I'm up at 3am right now with anxiety about this. Got my Bible about to pray. Is it possible that I could pray God could change his heart? That he could stop marijuana/ any drug use and we could be together in a Godly marriage.

I'm tired of breaking up with guys I love this one. But I'm scared. Especially since I started thinking what if the only reasons I like him and why he's nice is because of marijuana use. I've seen him when he's not smoking and he's snappy and disagreeable easily. I found out marijuana can cause withdrawal symptoms and I didn't know it could.

I just want God to allow us to be together. This guy has the Holy Spirit, he knows about the bible. Believe in God, grew up with me in church. I want this to work.

 

[ReesePiece23]

Okay...

You need to carry on with life, and live like you don't care. Make him come to you, do NOT go to him.

If he doesn't bother, then you don't bother. Simple.

 

[timewerx]

Okay...

You need to carry on with life, and live like you don't care. Make him come to you, do NOT go to him.

If he doesn't bother, then you don't bother. Simple.

I only figured this out in my thirties. You are so lucky you figured it out much sooner!

 

[High Fidelity]

Sorry, but I think you need to walk away. You should not have to chase after the attention of someone you're in a relationship. That and, well, his other behaviour leaves a lot to desire.

It will hurt at first, but I believe it's the right decision.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

This guy has the Holy Spirit, he knows about the bible.

so does matt dillahunty..

you're a grown female and can make your own decisions but you really can't expect the LORD to help you while you are actively disobeying Him in your relationships.

 

[Angeleyes7715]

so does matt dillahunty..

you're a grown female and can make your own decisions but you really can't expect the LORD to help you while you are actively disobeying Him in your relationships.

How am I disobeying him? I asked for forgiveness and stopped having sex. How is that disobeying? Also have you forgotten the Lord makes the sun shine on the good and the bad, that's in the Bible.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

How am I disobeying him? I asked for forgiveness and stopped having sex. How is that disobeying? Also have you forgotten the Lord makes the sun shine on the good and the bad, that's in the Bible.

that verse is referring to common grace to all human beings, not salvation or saving grace.


there's also the verse that says do not be unequally yoked to unbelievers(2 Corinthians 6:14-18). it is indeed positive that you stopped fornicating with a guy who was allegedly filled with the Holy Spirit while making a choice to sexually abuse you. you're looking to marry a guy who is dealing with substance abuse among other issues, and looks to be disregarding you now because you will no longer lay with him. marrying someone who has overcome these issues and is consistently living a life in repentance is one thing. it doesn't sound like this is the case.

fear, desperation, and loneliness seem to be motivating you to stick around.


FYI, matt dillahunty grew up in the church too

 

[Angeleyes7715]

that verse is referring to common grace to all human beings, not salvation or saving grace.


there's also the verse that says do not be unequally yoked to unbelievers(2 Corinthians 6:14-18). it is indeed positive that you stopped fornicating with a guy who was allegedly filled with the Holy Spirit while making a choice to sexually abuse you. you're looking to marry a guy who is dealing with substance abuse among other issues, and looks to be disregarding you now because you will no longer lay with him. marrying someone who has overcome these issues and is consistently living a life in repentance is one thing. it doesn't sound like this is the case.

fear, desperation, and loneliness seem to be motivating you to stick around.


FYI, matt dillahunty grew up in the church too

I have no idea who that person is. The person never told me that he is ignoring me because of no sex. He actually suggested we stop having sex first because I was worried about birth control causing my hair to come out. Fear and loneliness and desperation is motivating me. I am sorry at the same time, but I know for a fact this person received the Holy Spirit. I witnessed it. Also, he's not an unbeliever. He believes in God and he knows the Bible. His problem is he doesn't believe marijuana is a sin and his other problem is he's a product of a bad environment and no parents. He was partly raised in prisons and within gangs too. And was physically abused by church people so that he was taken away by cps.


Look I can't just leave... I'm spotting after 7 days or I think I'm spotting. I don't want to have a baby alone and I'm scared I'm pregnant. I know you're going to say well you should have that of that before sex before marriage.

People say that like it's so easy. The only thing I wanted was to have someone who cared about me. Someone k could feel there. God is there but I can't see or feel him... Anyway, I felt like it didn't matter all I wanted was that person. We used protection and still I could be pregnant.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

I have no idea who that person is. The person never told me that he is ignoring me because of no sex. He actually suggested we stop having sex first because I was worried about birth control causing my hair to come out. Fear and loneliness and desperation is motivating me. I am sorry at the same time, but I know for a fact this person received the Holy Spirit. I witnessed it. Also, he's not an unbeliever. He believes in God and he knows the Bible. His problem is he doesn't believe marijuana is a sin and his other problem is he's a product of a bad environment and no parents. He was partly raised in prisons and within gangs too. And was physically abused by church people so that he was taken away by cps.


Look I can't just leave... I'm spotting after 7 days or I think I'm spotting. I don't want to have a baby alone and I'm scared I'm pregnant. I know you're going to say well you should have that of that before sex before marriage.

People say that like it's so easy. The only thing I wanted was to have someone who cared about me. Someone k could feel there. God is there but I can't see or feel him... Anyway, I felt like it didn't matter all I wanted was that person. We used protection and still I could be pregnant.

Tell me how you witnessed this guy receive the Holy Spirit?

 

[ReesePiece23]

I stand by what I said. His 'bad environment' is ultimately his responsibly. He's either going to use it as an excuse for everything, or he's going to ante up, wise up and move on up. It's up to him. Not you.

Love needs to begin from within. If you're not conveying enough self love, then you'll always find yourself in situations like these. The best relationship you can have, is the one you have with yourself. (Beside the one with God, of course.)

Same goes for him. If he hasn't got enough self-motivation and the drive to change, then he's got some work to do. And he can't rely on you for that. It needs to come from him.

 

[Angeleyes7715]

So I panicked today, I saw what I think is implantation spotting, took a picture and showed it to the guy. I drove all the way to his house because he didn't respond to my messages. I also was going to drive to his job to see if he was at work ( I know over the top but I literally freak when I have anxiety) I woke up in the middle of the night worried. Anyway, he came to the door. Turns out his phones were off and internet was down. His roommates went and woke him up.

I told him everything and he held my hand. He said he would stay with me and raise the baby and we would move together.

Do you guys still think he's a bad guy? We both have jobs I'm a certified pharmacy tech. with a bachelor's in biochemistry. He's a supervisor at a store and has an auto mechanic technician license. My new job pays about $18/hr working on passive income as well. I have a few months to try to save before the baby gets here if I am pregnant. Do you guys think we can do this?

 

[Angeleyes7715]

Tell me how you witnessed this guy receive the Holy Spirit?

I am Apostolic Christian and I personally believe in tongues as one of the signs of infilling of the Holy Spirit. As mentioned in ACTs 2:38. As I mentioned I grew up in church with this guy. I'm some few years older than him. Both basically in our 20s. I'm in mid he's in very early. Of course back then we were just kids so clearly there were no ideas of relationships or interest or anything. I didn't even really know him. I simply was told to go pray in the children's church and help lay hands. I was 14. I did as I was told and I witnessed some of the kids receiving the Holy Spirit speaking in tongues. Literally the spirit just fell on kids and they were praying in an unknown tongue and in tears. Not all of the kids received it. If you're wondering why Pastor asked me probably one I had received the Holy Spirit speaking in tongues at 14. And two I am a woman and they always wanted younger women helping out with the kids church. Anyway, I vaguely remember this guy being one of the kids I was praying with who was trying to receive it. I think he got it. And now in our older age I asked him if he had got it and he said yeah he did. There are a few kids for sure I know that received it. Once it happened no one could tell u it's not real cause it's so amazing. I was praying and repenting and asking God into my life and literally it just fell on me and i started praying in some unknown language. That was what happened to me at 14. Now if I pray and ask the spirit to fall on me I can just pray in tongues. I like to ask for forgiveness and try to get my heart right though before praying because I don't want false tongues (if they exist).

 

[Sam91]

I think you need to stop worrying. Submit to God, be a living sacrifice, obediency from now on. Learn to make Him Lord over your life as I get the feeling that this guy is usurping Him at the moment. Then your worries should fade, you will be stronger and be using His strength.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Romans 8:28
Philippians 4:6-8

All this started with a sin which is now distracting you from God. I also dnt think this bleeding is implantation bleeding. I think yr stress has messed your cycle up. I didn't have implantation bleeding with my 3. Although some women do, most don't. However, we all have had our cycles messed up by stress. Mine not until my 30's though.

(Worrying over the next three days won't change anything if you are... it will leave you in a more stressed frame of mind. Give it over to the Lord everytime it enters yr head. Else u could drive yr bf away with all this when yr not. Yr already criticising his lifestyle and needing a lot of emotional support. It isn't healthy for either of you. It is far more productive to draw close to God)

I am sorry that I'm speaking so matter of factly. Take it with the love I feel when typing. I feel that you have let too many things get in the way of the only thing that matters and that is God. Let yr bf see you living dutifully to the Lord and be a witness to him by your actions of how a Christian lives. Let him see the joy and peace that the being submitted to the Lord brings and see you transform as you place your fears in the Lord's hands and not on yr bf. Be a light in the world in which you live.

Be blessed sister <3

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

So I panicked today, I saw what I think is implantation spotting, took a picture and showed it to the guy. I drove all the way to his house because he didn't respond to my messages. I also was going to drive to his job to see if he was at work ( I know over the top but I literally freak when I have anxiety) I woke up in the middle of the night worried. Anyway, he came to the door. Turns out his phones were off and internet was down. His roommates went and woke him up.

I told him everything and he held my hand. He said he would stay with me and raise the baby and we would move together.

Do you guys still think he's a bad guy? We both have jobs I'm a certified pharmacy tech. with a bachelor's in biochemistry. He's a supervisor at a store and has an auto mechanic technician license. My new job pays about $18/hr working on passive income as well. I have a few months to try to save before the baby gets here if I am pregnant. Do you guys think we can do this?

you're in a crummy situation brought on by a sinful act(s) that will now force you to do something that is not healthy for all parties involved.

you could get married and raise the child together but this really isn't good as neither of you seem to be ready to raise a child or even be in a relationship together as this guy is already becoming emotionally distant and despite what some want to believe this will not improve with a child and marriage. you're both going into this by force with no actual preparation. is he going to be willing to put down the weed, the video games, and time with his friends in order to become a good husband and father to this child if you have it? with both of you working full time to finance a family, who will raise the child? childcare and babysitting is how you watch a child, not raise one.

hopefully you actually aren't pregnant in which case you need to end the relationship. if you are, maybe consider putting the child up for adoption.

doing the right thing is usually not easy, but, obviously, neither is doing the wrong thing.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

I am Apostolic Christian and I personally believe in tongues as one of the signs of infilling of the Holy Spirit. As mentioned in ACTs 2:38. As I mentioned I grew up in church with this guy. I'm some few years older than him. Both basically in our 20s. I'm in mid he's in very early. Of course back then we were just kids so clearly there were no ideas of relationships or interest or anything. I didn't even really know him. I simply was told to go pray in the children's church and help lay hands. I was 14. I did as I was told and I witnessed some of the kids receiving the Holy Spirit speaking in tongues. Literally the spirit just fell on kids and they were praying in an unknown tongue and in tears. Not all of the kids received it. If you're wondering why Pastor asked me probably one I had received the Holy Spirit speaking in tongues at 14. And two I am a woman and they always wanted younger women helping out with the kids church. Anyway, I vaguely remember this guy being one of the kids I was praying with who was trying to receive it. I think he got it. And now in our older age I asked him if he had got it and he said yeah he did. There are a few kids for sure I know that received it. Once it happened no one could tell u it's not real cause it's so amazing. I was praying and repenting and asking God into my life and literally it just fell on me and i started praying in some unknown language. That was what happened to me at 14. Now if I pray and ask the spirit to fall on me I can just pray in tongues. I like to ask for forgiveness and try to get my heart right though before praying because I don't want false tongues (if they exist).

here's a video skit dealing with this subject. a bit of humor mixed with good biblical exegesis.

the apostles in acts 2 were speaking in actual existing foreign languages and Paul in 1 Corinthians 13 was being hyperbolic.

while I never spoke in tongues myself, I had a really significant spiritual experience when I was 18. I thought I was actually saved even though my life was filled with sin afterward and this went on until I truly was saved at 30. if our profession of faith isn't followed up by a changed life and repentance from sin than we need to question it.

 

[Elliewaves]

Why do you want to raise a child with this guy? You really don't make him sound like a great father material.

 

[Angeleyes7715]

here's a video skit dealing with this subject. a bit of humor mixed with good biblical exegesis.

the apostles in acts 2 were speaking in actual existing foreign languages and Paul in 1 Corinthians 13 was being hyperbolic.

while I never spoke in tongues myself, I had a really significant spiritual experience when I was 18. I thought I was actually saved even though my life was filled with sin afterward and this went on until I truly was saved at 30. if our profession of faith isn't followed up by a changed life and repentance from sin than we need to question it.

Adding humor in too mock the Holy Spirit is something I disagree with.
What I received and witnessed is very real so of you haven't received it please don't mock it. I consider it blasphemous.

What I received is pretty real. And thats not what I was taught nor does it make sense. As my pastor explained in ACTS 2:38 they were speaking a heavenly language. The hearing of the people was affected by the Holy Spirit so that they each heard their own foreign language. What the Apostles were speaking was a heavenly language though.

My pastor said it wouldnt make sense if they were all speaking separate foreign languages at the same time. No one would hear anything because they'd all be talking over eachother. This made perfect sense to me.

 

[Angeleyes7715]

you're in a crummy situation brought on by a sinful act(s) that will now force you to do something that is not healthy for all parties involved.

you could get married and raise the child together but this really isn't good as neither of you seem to be ready to raise a child or even be in a relationship together as this guy is already becoming emotionally distant and despite what some want to believe this will not improve with a child and marriage. you're both going into this by force with no actual preparation. is he going to be willing to put down the weed, the video games, and time with his friends in order to become a good husband and father to this child if you have it? with both of you working full time to finance a family, who will raise the child? childcare and babysitting is how you watch a child, not raise one.

hopefully you actually aren't pregnant in which case you need to end the relationship. if you are, maybe consider putting the child up for adoption.

doing the right thing is usually not easy, but, obviously, neither is doing the wrong thing.

I would never put my kid up for adoption and have the child fending for its own in the midst of an abusive society and adoption system. My bf is the product of that lifestyle.

Working full-time is what most people do. I plan to generate passive income and have been working on steps to do this for sometime now.

Im starting to think I might not be pregnant. My spotting isn't like pregnancy spotting, and so I made a Dr. Appt to see if it's a UTI (I'm prone to them) or something else.

I love my boyfriend, but he needs to give up the weed and shows no signs of ever wanting to quit that lifestyle.

 

[Angeleyes7715]

Why do you want to raise a child with this guy? You really don't make him sound like a great father material.

I think he is despite the weed problem. He's mature and responsible outside of that. He cleans, he works, he saves money, he likes kids and tries to watch out for them, he takes responsibility for his actions, he does say that he loves me, he believes in God and knows the Bible, he pays for me and if I tell him not to smoke near me he doesn't. His only problem is weed and rap music/ being more respectful and it's so frustrating.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

Adding humor in too mock the Holy Spirit is something I disagree with.
What I received and witnessed is very real so of you haven't received it please don't mock it. I consider it blasphemous.

What I received is pretty real. And thats not what I was taught nor does it make sense. As my pastor explained in ACTS 2:38 they were speaking a heavenly language. The hearing of the people was affected by the Holy Spirit so that they each heard their own foreign language. What the Apostles were speaking was a heavenly language though.

My pastor said it wouldnt make sense if they were all speaking separate foreign languages at the same time. No one would hear anything because they'd all be talking over eachother. This made perfect sense to me.

That explanation doesn't follow as the passage says they all heard and understood what was being said.

Where in the text does it indicate the Holy Spirit made the crowd hear the apostles in their native language?

What known language did your bf speak when he spoke in tongues?