Friendships Between Belief-Systems

[freedomissacred]

I recently found myself fending off some criticism for having a long-standing friendship with a freemason. This reminded me of a similar experience many years ago, when a Christian criticized me heavily for a close friendship with an atheist.

The criticism leaves open some big questions. Personally, such friendships could not exist for me with those atheists and others who are anti-Christian, but many of them are not hostile to my faith and so the ones I have been close to have been this gentler kind.

The critics usually claim it is my duty to spend any time with these "infidels" attempting to evangelize them. They imply that I am sinning if I simply enjoy my friends' company and value their friendship.

What do y'all think? Should you automatically end relationships with unbelievers just based on their unbelief or should you maintain close friendships as long as they are not pressing against your own faith?

 

[selfinflikted]

Be friends with whom you want to be friends. Don't worry about what others think.

 

[Drumfan84]

Be friends with whom you want to be friends. Don't worry about what others think.

I agree with this. But, if the chance arises, and it's not forced, there's nothing wrong with talking about religion/faith.

 

[selfinflikted]

I agree with this. But, if the chance arises, and it's not forced, there's nothing wrong with talking about religion/faith.

Agreed. That said, if you have friends that continuously cause you to "stumble," as they say, in your faith then you probably shouldn't continue a friendship like that.

 

[cutekittycat]

for me personally with my atheist friends, we just do not talk about religion.
most of them are from a background where religion spat in their face and drove them out. thus, they turned away from God (or, at least the Christian God) and followed their own path - whatever that means.

we share enough of other interests to be friends with each other.

 

[keith99]

I'm atheist.

There are many Christians I admire. 2 especially.

C.S. Lewis whose credits his atheist tutor with providing the base that lead him to Christianity.

The other is Dietrich Bonheoffer. Bonheoffer was one of a group of Prisoners leading up to Easter 1945. Some of the other prisoners had approached him about giving an Easter Sermon. But Bonheoffer had serious reservations. First many of the prisoners were Catholic and at that time the difference was significant. But the real problem was young V. Kokorin. A Russian atheist. Bonheoffer had pretty much decided to not give the sermon as there was no way Kokorin could avoid it in their situation and Bonheoffer decided he valued the groups fellowship more than any sermon.

Be like Bonheoffer.

Oh almost forgot (not really) it seems Kokorin was no tall that different in his thoughts. He approached Bonheoffer and expressed his desire that Bonheoffer give the sermon.

I wish the story had a truly happy ending. It does not, at least in worldly terms. While Bonheoffer was giving the sermon 2 men in Suits came and stood silently at the back of the room. When the sermon was over they came forward and said "Prisoner Bonheoffer, please come with us". The men were Gestapo and everyone there knew Bonheoffer was going to his death.

My account is accurate. Some accounts from Christian sources are not. I have read both Bethge and Best (Best was actually there, Bethge is the closest to a male family member that remained in in Germany of Dietrich's age). Many Christian sources seem more concerned with painting Gestapo as evil than showing the character of Bonheoffer. Stop and think. Just how impressive is it that Gestapo would be polite to a condemned man.

Be like Bonheoffer. If you God is real the relationships you create following his path will not return void.

 

[Autumnleaf]

I think its a question of tolerance versus prudence. These days its all the vogue to be kind to people who are members of groups who do things to undermine you. Look into what Free Masonry does ie Scottish Rite and see if you want to get along with those who fund that type of thing. Maybe you are down with that.

 

[Prinx]

As long as it does not affect you personality, there should be no reason why you should restrict friendship with anyone.

 

[Strathos]

I have a Muslim friend and we have agreed not to try to convert each other.

 

[seashale76]

The critics usually claim it is my duty to spend any time with these "infidels" attempting to evangelize them. They imply that I am sinning if I simply enjoy my friends' company and value their friendship.

My non-Christian friends are not ignorant regarding Christian beliefs (usually- though most don't know the differences between what they are familiar with and Orthodoxy- just like most Christians I know). I figure if they're interested they'll ask questions, do their research, and come to their own decisions.

What do y'all think? Should you automatically end relationships with unbelievers just based on their unbelief or should you maintain close friendships as long as they are not pressing against your own faith?

The latter.

 

[Paradoxum]

I don't think there's anything wrong with that at all. I don't see how anyone can think there is a problem, unless they've had little experience with friendships outside their group.

When I was in school (I was evangelical) I was mostly friends with a Catholic (only in name), and a few atheists who were completely apathetic towards religion.

In university (was atheist), I was friends with an atheist, liberal Catholic, protestant-ish person, and muslim-ish person.

We got on fine, sometimes talked about religion, and had good friendships. I don't see why there would be a problem if you are committed to your beliefs and think for yourself.

 

[GoldenBoy89]

I recently found myself fending off some criticism for having a long-standing friendship with a freemason. This reminded me of a similar experience many years ago, when a Christian criticized me heavily for a close friendship with an atheist.

The criticism leaves open some big questions. Personally, such friendships could not exist for me with those atheists and others who are anti-Christian, but many of them are not hostile to my faith and so the ones I have been close to have been this gentler kind.

The critics usually claim it is my duty to spend any time with these "infidels" attempting to evangelize them. They imply that I am sinning if I simply enjoy my friends' company and value their friendship.

What do y'all think? Should you automatically end relationships with unbelievers just based on their unbelief or should you maintain close friendships as long as they are not pressing against your own faith?

One thing I've noticed is that some Christians, not all but some, seem to look at us non-Christians as a sort of 'prize' to claim for themselves if they manage to convert us.

I'll tell ya, nothing will make you lose friends faster than telling people you're right and they're wrong and that they need to change over to how your are.

 

[DiligentlySeekingGod]

I have many friends who are unbelievers. In fact, I think I have more friends who aren't Christian than who are Christian.

 

[Eudaimonist]

Should you automatically end relationships with unbelievers just based on their unbelief or should you maintain close friendships as long as they are not pressing against your own faith?

Friendship is a commodity in short supply in the world, at least post-college. I would hope that people would not end friendships simply over doctrinal differences.


eudaimonia,

Mark

 

[Ana the Ist]

I recently found myself fending off some criticism for having a long-standing friendship with a freemason. This reminded me of a similar experience many years ago, when a Christian criticized me heavily for a close friendship with an atheist.

The criticism leaves open some big questions. Personally, such friendships could not exist for me with those atheists and others who are anti-Christian, but many of them are not hostile to my faith and so the ones I have been close to have been this gentler kind.

The critics usually claim it is my duty to spend any time with these "infidels" attempting to evangelize them. They imply that I am sinning if I simply enjoy my friends' company and value their friendship.

What do y'all think? Should you automatically end relationships with unbelievers just based on their unbelief or should you maintain close friendships as long as they are not pressing against your own faith?

What would your Christ do?

 

[Eudaimonist]

What would your Christ do?

He would break off his friendships with Good Samaritans.

Oh, wait. No he wouldn't.


eudaimonia,

Mark

 

[grasping the after wind]

One thing I've noticed is that some Christians, not all but some, seem to look at us non-Christians as a sort of 'prize' to claim for themselves if they manage to convert us.

I have seen this phenomenon as well. People will find ways to make everything about themselves. I have even seen a few atheists that seem determined to win the prize for themselves of getting people to go the opposite direction.

I'll tell ya, nothing will make you lose friends faster than telling people you're right and they're wrong and that they need to change over to how your are.

So many people are convinced that that will work it amazes me. If I were the OP I would tell the critics that I was doing my best to convert all my non Christian friends by my example of tolerance of their viewpoint and acceptance of them without any qualifications. Just as Christ accepted all of us while we were still sinners. I would add that I have purposely and wisely made no use of religious sermonizing or pronunciations of their impending doom that would surely force them to become obstinately anti Christian and much much harder to convert.

 

[freedomissacred]

One thing I've noticed is that some Christians, not all but some, seem to look at us non-Christians as a sort of 'prize' to claim for themselves if they manage to convert us.
...

That is exactly what sticks in my craw. It seems to be a modern cultural weakness that we are always "sales talking" to the point there is no real conversation.

And then, if I were to win a sales-pitch to a non-Christian, what next? The churches around me are not only dismal failures as Christian communities but most of them are downright dangerous! One right down the road, frankly, is an all-out "cult" insofar as its members include an active drug gang led by a woman who is openly Satanic. She is one of those atheistic Satanists who enjoys masquerading as a Christian around the clueless elderly in the church while openly promoting herself and her rituals outside that church. I had a very bizarre encounter with her concerning a neighbor's nervous breakdown that happened just after the neighbor moved into the apartment formerly rented by a charity-object of the church. I was concerned and suspicious about the "Christian charity" but figured I was being paranoid until this encounter. The Satanist was hanging about as a friend to the new tenant and I commented to her that I don't believe in ghosts but if the new tenant were psychologically vulnerable, that recent death might have triggered the breakdown and maybe some Christian prayer might help the new tenant feel better. She assured me that there were already plans to "spiritually cleanse" the area and that NO Christian prayer could possibly be tolerated by the deceased tenant!!!! Now, understand , I am referring to this woman as a Satanist here, but at the time she was still acting in her disguise as a Christian when she blurted the truth about herself!

Can you imagine winning an evangelical discussion with an atheist only to send them into that woman's clutches?

Opportunities for telling the truth about Jesus abound, but to me, setting out to evangelize on purpose is just crazy. Only God knows what is going on with some of these people!

 

[SFTS]

.....What do y'all think? Should you automatically end relationships with unbelievers just based on their unbelief or should you maintain close friendships as long as they are not pressing against your own faith?

I don't see any problem with the context of your experience. As far as you being criticized, so was Jesus as a "friend of sinners". He obviously didn't participate with them in any sinful activity, but he did not live a life of shunning them. Proverbs 18 says "A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly". We live in everyday life and we have to be around unbelievers all the time. Is it not a better testimony to be friendly and have close relationships with those whose values may parallel in some ways, but not be exactly like ours? The word "Christian" means Christlike and I believe there are many non-believers who are more "Christian" or Christlike, than many Christians.
Romans 12:18 "If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men." I don't think that bans friendships with unbelievers. That's what I think, anyway.

 

[Sammy-San]

I think its a question of tolerance versus prudence. These days its all the vogue to be kind to people who are members of groups who do things to undermine you. Look into what Free Masonry does ie Scottish Rite and see if you want to get along with those who fund that type of thing. Maybe you are down with that.

What's the difference between tolerance and prudence?

What do Freemasons do in the Scottish Rite?