Found this subforum via Google, joined CF

[geekghost]

Well, like the subject says -- I was googling for "Christian Bipolar Forum" and this came up, so I joined. I think I was just googling in hopes of finding some kind of anonymous outlet that I 'matched' faith-wise.

About me? Um. I always hate this part. I'm yer-basic 21 year old collegiate geek - thus the name. I was dx'd with clinical depression two years ago, which was upgraded to bipolar last Dec. (Merry Christmas!), along with a bonus of GAD. I tend to consider myself an "alternative Christian", in that my faith fits the image, but I don't: my closet is 90% black, and I have extra holes in my head.

I guess the main reason I've got the courage to post this right now is that I'm coming off of an up-swing, and still running on fumes. I have a feeling we're gonna crash and burn later, but the night's still young... I just hope I don't come delete this tomorrow!

Anyway, I'm likely over my ramble-limit now, thanks to anyone listening.

Peace to you all.

 

[Alive again]

Welcome!!! Ther is no ramble limit-just check out some of my novel length posts

I'm 45 went thru about 10 yrs of depression and rx before we picked up on the bp. Was feeling better, finally had to stop the antidepressant coz it started triggering mania-so now just a mood stabilizer and still battling the mania. Praying it settles down soon as the antidepressant cont to wear off!

My son's story is almost identical to you. He is 99.9% black adn really enjoys the depression and tends to fascination with death and is learning now to enjoy his racing thoughts and manias. He is in some degree of denial and chooses to remain unmedicated at this time. He is 19 and has thus dropped out of college. Having a hard time finding a job (has long hair-don't know if this is related or not). He skirts in and out of his faith.

I am glad you have checked in here. Although we are all individuals here and have different stories, we have much incommon and can really be a huge help and support to each other. I hope you are comfortablable coming bacck here. We are young and old and many different paths in our faith, but we can and do help each other with respect and understanding. I look forward to hearing more from you!! Blessings!

 

[geekghost]

Wow - thanks for the quick reply! I feel so loved.

I wouldn't go so far into stereotypical gothdom as to say I "enjoy" the depression: most definitely the opposite. The closest me and Mr. Death-n-Despair have gotten is to a point of agreeing to disagree. I don't like him, he doesn't like me, but for the time being we share a brain. Getting dx'd was a big step for me, because it was as though I had gotten permission to step out of denial! Before then was the requisite get-over-it-it's-YOUR-fault type thing.

I still struggle daily -- second-ly! -- but at least knowing that the inevitable is just that helps. For example, knowing this second that yes, I'm slowly winding down from a hyperactive evening, and that means I will wake up tomorrow not wanting to face life - well, it just helps me dissociate myself from the depression. If it's going to happen anyway, it can't be all my fault. At least that's what I tell myself on the good days...

Other than that, there are other good things to focus on -- a great church (finally - took the better part of 2 years to find it), great friends, and a great God.

Anyway -- thanks again for the welcome -- glad to know I won't be alone in writing novels!

 

[Dianna]

Well, like the subject says -- I was googling for "Christian Bipolar Forum" and this came up, so I joined. I think I was just googling in hopes of finding some kind of anonymous outlet that I 'matched' faith-wise.

About me? Um. I always hate this part. I'm yer-basic 21 year old collegiate geek - thus the name. I was dx'd with clinical depression two years ago, which was upgraded to bipolar last Dec. (Merry Christmas!), along with a bonus of GAD. I tend to consider myself an "alternative Christian", in that my faith fits the image, but I don't: my closet is 90% black, and I have extra holes in my head.

I guess the main reason I've got the courage to post this right now is that I'm coming off of an up-swing, and still running on fumes. I have a feeling we're gonna crash and burn later, but the night's still young... I just hope I don't come delete this tomorrow!

Anyway, I'm likely over my ramble-limit now, thanks to anyone listening.

Peace to you all.

So glad you found the board. Welcome I am new here myself, but have found it an amazing place.

Dianna

 

[Laurel Crowned]

Welcome Geekghost!

I can echo the profile: When I was in college I went from froo froo bright color girl to 99.9% black clothes girl. Hair in face... to hide the pain... and all that. Dark depressing music. I knew the depressions were coming and there was little I could do to avoid them. I never thought there was a problem with my up swings. It wasn't until YEARS later that I was diagnosed with BP... and even years after that that God led me to CF. Which, has been very helpful to me. I've met some really wonderful people here who have helped me process the thoughts that bump into each other in my mind.

For me, knowing that I'm not the "only one" has done a world of good. There is more acceptance now in the church than there was 12 years ago when it comes to mental illness. So... welcome to CF. You've found the right place. A fellowship of people who are trying to find His light in their darkness. OH, and FYI: most of my clothes are STILL black... but only because I am horrible at doing laundry.

Welcome.

 

[geekghost]

Thank you all for the posts -- it really is nice to feel welcomed.

Today wasn't so bad, I tried to sleep through half of it so I think I missed the worst. Random good news: tomorrow night I get to see Shane & Shane live. Yay!

 

[Lilli]

Hello ladies! Welcome to the newbies. This site really is a great place. I have BP too with rapid cycling. Also have DD which gets me through most days. Anyway, welcome and am looking forward to getting to know you. Adding your name to my prayer list!