- Jul 21, 2015
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Matthew 18:21-22 World English Bible
21 Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Until seven times?”
22 Jesus said to him, “I don’t tell you until seven times, but, until seventy times seven.
My dad was in the military. After he returned from combat in SE Asia he had much anger. He sometimes raised his voice and was critical.
After much observation, I learned anger is often rooted in thoughts of war, retaliation, combat, killing and resistance. I had anger and fought with my brother. He kept up his attacks on me. I hit my younger brother even harder in retaliation in an effort to stop his attacks. One night my brother took a sleeping bag and his bike and ran away to a church. My parents found him and brought him home. At first I only hit in retaliation. Later I found I was occasionally hitting him when he had not hit me first. I was peacefully going about my business. One day he made a snowball with wet slushy snow. He attacked from the side and hit me on the cheek. I had not seen it coming. I was enraged. I started to run towards him to attack. He ran into the house and closed the glass storm door behind him. I was so angry I missed the door handle and put my hand through the glass instead shattering it and cutting myself. Blood was dripping to the ground. I stopped the attack.
When I was 17 I got a job with a moving and storage company during the summer. I carried furniture, appliances, boxes, baby grand pianos and upright pianos. Drivers taught me how to pack their moving vans for them. At first I thought it would crush me, but I had a voracious appetite. This regimen strengthened me. In my senior year of High School I hit a home run in PE softball. I hit the ball over the fence. My brother and I have not hit each other since I started working that summer. Bad behavior leads to worse. I sometimes got drunk enflamed with lust. There were trips to the auto body shop. Although I did well on college entrance exams and was accepted to a state university, I was failing courses. I dropped out. I then lived at home and completed a two year degree in business with honors. I attempted more college. I started to slip again into dark thoughts. I dropped out with one sexual harassment warning issued against me. Eventually I thought I was the worse person in the world. God rescued me from a suicide attempt when I was 22.
I turned to look for Christ by studying the Gospels. I quit drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. I turned to celibacy. I loaded my backpack and hitched a ride to the Appalachian Trail and started walking. There were occasional Good Samaritans along the way. I was often hungry and always poor. One time I turned off the trail and walked past the remains of a burned down house. While standing there looking at charred wood and ashes, something inside said, “I will lift you off the ash heap.” I thought it was God. Later in life I prospered.
I learned not to clench my fists. I relaxed my muscles instead of bracing for a fight. I prayed to be rid of lust and inappropriate content. I prayed for my enemies to repent in the name of Christ in order that they might be forgiven and realize blessings. Life is better without trying to sabotage others. Thoughts of doing good for others may displace thoughts of harming others. Becoming more honest is a work in progress. The mind is willing, but the brain cannot always recall the facts in perfect order.
21 Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Until seven times?”
22 Jesus said to him, “I don’t tell you until seven times, but, until seventy times seven.
My dad was in the military. After he returned from combat in SE Asia he had much anger. He sometimes raised his voice and was critical.
After much observation, I learned anger is often rooted in thoughts of war, retaliation, combat, killing and resistance. I had anger and fought with my brother. He kept up his attacks on me. I hit my younger brother even harder in retaliation in an effort to stop his attacks. One night my brother took a sleeping bag and his bike and ran away to a church. My parents found him and brought him home. At first I only hit in retaliation. Later I found I was occasionally hitting him when he had not hit me first. I was peacefully going about my business. One day he made a snowball with wet slushy snow. He attacked from the side and hit me on the cheek. I had not seen it coming. I was enraged. I started to run towards him to attack. He ran into the house and closed the glass storm door behind him. I was so angry I missed the door handle and put my hand through the glass instead shattering it and cutting myself. Blood was dripping to the ground. I stopped the attack.
When I was 17 I got a job with a moving and storage company during the summer. I carried furniture, appliances, boxes, baby grand pianos and upright pianos. Drivers taught me how to pack their moving vans for them. At first I thought it would crush me, but I had a voracious appetite. This regimen strengthened me. In my senior year of High School I hit a home run in PE softball. I hit the ball over the fence. My brother and I have not hit each other since I started working that summer. Bad behavior leads to worse. I sometimes got drunk enflamed with lust. There were trips to the auto body shop. Although I did well on college entrance exams and was accepted to a state university, I was failing courses. I dropped out. I then lived at home and completed a two year degree in business with honors. I attempted more college. I started to slip again into dark thoughts. I dropped out with one sexual harassment warning issued against me. Eventually I thought I was the worse person in the world. God rescued me from a suicide attempt when I was 22.
I turned to look for Christ by studying the Gospels. I quit drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. I turned to celibacy. I loaded my backpack and hitched a ride to the Appalachian Trail and started walking. There were occasional Good Samaritans along the way. I was often hungry and always poor. One time I turned off the trail and walked past the remains of a burned down house. While standing there looking at charred wood and ashes, something inside said, “I will lift you off the ash heap.” I thought it was God. Later in life I prospered.
I learned not to clench my fists. I relaxed my muscles instead of bracing for a fight. I prayed to be rid of lust and inappropriate content. I prayed for my enemies to repent in the name of Christ in order that they might be forgiven and realize blessings. Life is better without trying to sabotage others. Thoughts of doing good for others may displace thoughts of harming others. Becoming more honest is a work in progress. The mind is willing, but the brain cannot always recall the facts in perfect order.
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