Forgiveness following divorce and remarriage

[Wunderlust]

This is really simple people.

If you date someone.. and after a while, sleep with them. That's a sin.
If you move in together, that's living in sin. God hates that.
If you find you are right for each other and get married, you "made it right."

If you understand that sex before marriage is wrong, God is happy.
You go before God and everyone you know and you say...
I WILL SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH THIS PERSON
You get married and find out you aren't sexually compatible...
You get married, and find out you can't live with them

You go in front of a secular court and get divorced.

YAH!!! God is so happy. According to the bible, your legal divorce makes is PERFECTLY A-OKAY to once again...
Go before God and everyone you know and say....
I will spend the rest of my life with this person.

And then you get divorced.

And that's okay... because God's cool with that as long as you hired an attorney and worked all that out with the judges and courts and stuff.

And then you are free to get married again and have sex with other people. That's what Jesus wants, I guess?

Remember, as long as you stand in front of God and all your friends and family and promise to only have sex with the person next to you.... you did the right thing. However, if you do not want to have sex with that person anymore, you have to hire an attorney and file legal documents... blah blah blah

Then you are free to stand in front of God and all your friends and family and promise to only have sex with the person next to you. That's not sinful, at all. Living with another person, totally wrong. You need to tell everyone you know, and stand in a church saying you devote your life to that person. Then when you get tired of them, you repeat the process.

But my God... living with a person... without telling everyone and God will you stay together forever even if you won't..... now that's wrong.

 

[PeterDona]

I think we need to find out who God is.

 

[PeterDona]

1 Corinthians 7:10-11
To the married I give charge, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband)—and that the husband should not divorce his wife. rsv​

Also, the wronged person in a divorce may not remarry until his/her spouse dies.
(edited)

I think for me, it is one of the big questions, if "let" or "let not" can be equal to "may" or "may not". What if she remarried anyway, then what? She did not remain single, and so ... ?

Some say that she is not married to the second person
Some say, she should just ask forgiveness and then continue in the new marriage
A 3rd position, even, that she is married to both men now
so ?

(I might be torturing this topic too much. But I am not an expert in hebrew or greek, and it probably might be useful here)

 

[Jan001]

I think for me, it is one of the big questions, if "let" or "let not" can be equal to "may" or "may not". What if she remarried anyway, then what? She did not remain single, and so ... ?

Some say that she is not married to the second person
Some say, she should just ask forgiveness and then continue in the new marriage
A 3rd position, even, that she is married to both men now
so ?

(I might be torturing this topic too much. But I am not an expert in hebrew or greek, and it probably might be useful here)

1 Corinthians 7:10-11
To the married I give charge (command), not I but the Lord, that the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband)—and that the husband should not divorce his wife. rsv

Luke 16:18
“Every one who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.

​

What are some sins that cause a person to not be approved to inherit/enter into eternal life?

1 Corinthians 6:9-10
Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor sexual perverts, 10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor robbers will inherit the kingdom of God. rsv
​

Forgiveness is not given to a person who has no intent to stop committing the sin. A person is married until his/her spouse dies. If he or she "marries" someone else, he/she is an adulterer if sex is included in the new "marriage".

 

[98cwitr]

Dont know if this has been posted, but just even regarding death in marriage, this spoke to me on this topic by volumes:

1 Timothy 5:11
As for younger widows, do not put them on such a list. For when their sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ, they want to marry. 12 Thus they bring judgment on themselves, because they have broken their first pledge

 

[RDKirk]

Matthew 19:3-9
The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?" And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female, and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate."

They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"

He said to them, "Moses, because of the bitterness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."​

I am pretty sure this verse had been quoted dozens of times in this thread, but I think it is important to realize that the ONLY cause for divorce and remarriage is if a spouse cheats on you.
1. God forgives us for any sins when we repent.
2. That forgiveness does not give us the right to remarry if we did not get divorced due to sexual immorality.

If you read the Scriptures, it says that it is adultery if someone divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality and sinful if you marry someone who was divorced for any other reason. But to be sure, the person who did the cheating is not allowed to remarry.

The law of the land says "anything goes for any reason" but for those in God, our standards are a lot higher.

People, be careful who you marry. It is supposed to be a lifetime bond, if you cannot commit to that person for any reason then do not marry them. God's expectation is for the man and woman to be together until death takes them apart. Be very careful who you marry even if you have to remain single for a LONG time until you feel God is calling you to the right person.

It's only a minority opinion in this thread that a person can divorce for any reason. The primary argument in this thread is that not even the person abandoned by an adultering spouse is permitted to divorce, and that Christ intended no exception for remarriage by the spouse unjustly divorced and abandoned.

 

[RDKirk]

I may come forward as speculative here, but the history of Jacob and Leah, where Jacob was married to Leah "without his consent", but he yet did stick it out with her, seemingly tells me another story about coerced marriages. We have the testimony, that Jacob is in heaven, where we all want to go. So I tend to get from the history of Jacob and Leah, that God considers even a cheated marriage.

Do you think that, after the wedding Jacob had the option to recall the marriage and say, "this is not the one I intended to marry"? What moved Jacob to choose to stay with Leah? Can we learn anything from his dialogue with Laban afterwards? I am not aware that any biblical writer later adds any comment to this story.

Note that under the Mosaic Law, Jacob's marriage to Rachel would have been illegal.

 

[RDKirk]

Dont know if this has been posted, but just even regarding death in marriage, this spoke to me on this topic by volumes:

1 Timothy 5:11
As for younger widows, do not put them on such a list. For when their sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ, they want to marry. 12 Thus they bring judgment on themselves, because they have broken their first pledge

I've mentioned that. Those are all good reasons why Paul would not have preached that a young wife abandoned by her pagan husband should remain single.

 

[Tull]

When are people going to learn that this life is about nothing but pain and misery,all pleasure must be atoned for at a very very high price,pain and misery are free,sex is the main reason this is an issue to begin with because it is the main if not only motivating factor for male female relationships in the early years of life....it all points to the body and/or the flesh which exist only to torment and damn the soul if possible

 

[Jan001]

Note that under the Mosaic Law, Jacob's marriage to Rachel would have been illegal.

True, but Jacob was not under the law of Moses.

 

[Jan001]

I've mentioned that. Those are all good reasons why Paul would not have preached that a young wife abandoned by her pagan husband should remain single.

1 Corinthians 7:12-14
To the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is they are holy. rsv
​

If two unbaptized persons (unbelievers) marry, and one becomes a baptized Christian, and if the unbelieving spouse does not want to live with the believer (they get a divorce) the believer may then remarry a Christian.

 

[Jan001]

When are people going to learn that this life is about nothing but pain and misery,all pleasure must be atoned for at a very very high price,pain and misery are free,sex is the main reason this is an issue to begin with because it is the main if not only motivating factor for male female relationships in the early years of life....it all points to the body and/or the flesh which exist only to torment and damn the soul if possible

It used to be that the main reason people married was because they wanted to have children and/or they were expected to have children due to their positions in society to carry on with their familes' legacies. The sex drives of both male and female were created for this good purpose -- to be fruitful and multiply as commanded by God.

Genesis 1:28
And God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth.” rsv
​

Unfortunately, the sex drives of both male and female can also be used for an evil purpose -- physical self-gratification of both male and female outside the bond of marriage.

Modern contraception methods greatly abet this evil of physical self-gratification. Sex without the responsibilities of marriage and parenthood is one of the gods of 21st Century men and women.

 

[Jan001]

When are people going to learn that this life is about nothing but pain and misery,all pleasure must be atoned for at a very very high price,pain and misery are free,sex is the main reason this is an issue to begin with because it is the main if not only motivating factor for male female relationships in the early years of life....it all points to the body and/or the flesh which exist only to torment and damn the soul if possible

The physical human body was created very good. The physical human body and its powers are supposed to be used to glorify God. Sometimes the human body is used for evil purposes. To use one's human body to do evil is not God's plan/purpose at all.

 

[PeterDona]

If two unbaptized persons (unbelievers) marry, and one becomes a baptized Christian, and if the unbelieving spouse does not want to live with the believer (they get a divorce) the believer may then remarry a Christian.​

​

No, this is a misunderstanding. The believer is free to live alone, because the principle of keeping peace will be in opposition to the principle of keeping your marital obligations. So if there is unpeace in the relation, you should pursue peace rather than pursuing to fulfil marital obligations. Which means, allow the unbeliever to go his/her way. But it is not a license to a remarriage. One is still bound by the marriage, especially of course if one is a believer, and therefore can be expected to have a higher moral ground.

 

[Tull]

It used to be that the main reason people married was because they wanted to have children and/or they were expected to have children due to their

positions in society to carry on with their familes' legacies. The sex drives of both male and female were created for this good purpose -- to be fruitful and multiply as commanded by God.

Genesis 1:28
And God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth.” rsv
​

Unfortunately, the sex drives of both male and female can also be used for an evil purpose -- physical self-gratification of both male and female outside the bond of marriage.

Modern contraception methods greatly abet this evil of physical self-gratification. Sex without the responsibilities of marriage and parenthood is one of the gods of 21st Century men and women.

Yes like i said all peasure must be atoned for,birth control has nothing to do with it since that can mean not having sex or not being married...thanks for making my point that pleasure always comes at a very high price or it is not legitimate

 

[Tull]

The physical human body was created very good. The physical human body and its powers are supposed to be used to glorify God. Sometimes the human body is used for evil purposes. To use one's human body to do evil is not God's plan/purpose at all.

Not talking about how it was created but how it is now in a fallen world,the body is the pathway for almost all sin,certainly the most common of them "this body of death" i believe it has been called.
It is also the main pathway of punishment and the main advantage given to satan to torment,even hell itself is primarily directed at the body,the martyrs were not teased and called names for their faith,there bodies were tortured and killed,the body over and over again is the torment and burden of the soul.

 

[Meowzltov]

If people knew what marriage realy is most would not do it,sex is little compensation and as many know that goes away as well.

Not true. Good marriages (which do exist) do not go awry, nor does the sex end unless it becomes physically impossible, and even then it continues to the extent that it can.

My mom and dad were in love til the day my dad died.

You marry because you want that good marriage.

I'm sorry you are so jaded.

 

[Meowzltov]

Yes like i said all peasure must be atoned for

You think pleasure is sin? What gives you that idea? You don't think God made this world pleasurable for his children on purpose? Sin is simply what is good at the wrong time, or in the wrong place, or done the wrong way, or with the wrong people, or for the wrong reason. As CS Lewis noted, Satan is too unimaginative to think up any truly original sins.

 

[nanookadenord]

When are people going to learn that this life is about nothing but pain and misery,all pleasure must be atoned for at a very very high price,pain and misery are free,sex is the main reason this is an issue to begin with because it is the main if not only motivating factor for male female relationships in the early years of life....it all points to the body and/or the flesh which exist only to torment and damn the soul if possible

Aren't you just a ray of sunshine...

 

[RDKirk]

True, but Jacob was not under the law of Moses.

Yes, but the Law of Moses sheds some light on what God thinks about such things.