Forgiveness following divorce and remarriage

[mercyfollowsme]

If someone divorced their spouse in a sinful way, and then remarried, ive heard it said that God would forgive their sin, and they move on with the next marriage.

Firstly, is the second marriage recognised by God, and if not, doesnt this make the second marriage, an ongoing sinful adulterous relationship that shouldnt continue?
So forgiveness in that context couldnt validate more of the same?

We just had a sermon on divorce, so its a question that was raised.

 

[hedrick]

I don’t believe Jesus understood remarriage as a separate offense. It’s part of divorce, and in Matthew it seems to be assumed that they went together. It was also part of the standard Jewish concept of divorce. Thus I am not convinced that telling divorced people that they can’t remarry is sensible. What God didn’t want sundered has already been sundered.

The more difficult question is the divorce itself. Jesus had a tendency to make absolute statements. Look at some of what he said in Mat 5. But in application he was often more flexible. He didn’t actually reverse the Law’s allowance for divorce. He said it was given because of hard hearts, and that it violated God’s original intention for marriage. Most Christians today, at least in the US, think that marriages can get into a state where they aren’t likely to be revived. In that case forcing the parties to stay together may be even worse than divorce.

Many people are concerned with the high rate of divorce. My question is, do you think that in days when divorce was more or less impossible to get, that all of those marriages that today end in divorce would have instead resulted in revived relationships? I very much doubt it. Even for children. I teach Sunday School. I don’t know the home lives of all of my kids, but I do know some. I don’t think all of those with divorced parents would have been better off if their parents had been forced to stay together.

But if you're going to stop divorce, the time to do it is beforehand. Preventing remarriage is adding insult to injury.

 

[OneChristianLight]

If someone divorced their spouse in a sinful way, and then remarried, ive heard it said that God would forgive their sin, and they move on with the next marriage.

Firstly, is the second marriage recognised by God, and if not, doesnt this make the second marriage, an ongoing sinful adulterous relationship that shouldnt continue?
So forgiveness in that context couldnt validate more of the same?

We just had a sermon on divorce, so its a question that was raised.

Jesus seemed to take a very serious stance on divorce, saying that a man commits adultery if he divorces his wife and marries another woman. However, Jesus also taught forgiveness and not to judge others. No one can judge a divorced person for what transpired during their failed relationship. Also, a divorced person will surely earn forgiveness if he or she made things right with God, as there is no sin that is out of reach from God's forgiveness.

 

[mercyfollowsme]

I don’t believe Jesus understood remarriage as a separate offense. It’s part of divorce, and in Matthew it seems to be assumed that they went together. It was also part of the standard Jewish concept of divorce. Thus I am not convinced that telling divorced people that they can’t remarry is sensible. What God didn’t want sundered has already been sundered.

The more difficult question is the divorce itself. Jesus had a tendency to make absolute statements. Look at some of what he said in Mat 5. But in application he was often more flexible. He didn’t actually reverse the Law’s allowance for divorce. He said it was given because of hard hearts, and that it violated God’s original intention for marriage. Most Christians today, at least in the US, think that marriages can get into a state where they aren’t likely to be revived. In that case forcing the parties to stay together may be even worse than divorce.

Many people are concerned with the high rate of divorce. My question is, do you think that in days when divorce was more or less impossible to get, that all of those marriages that today end in divorce would have instead resulted in revived relationships? I very much doubt it. Even for children. I teach Sunday School. I don’t know the home lives of all of my kids, but I do know some. I don’t think all of those with divorced parents would have been better off if their parents had been forced to stay together.

But if you're going to stop divorce, the time to do it is beforehand. Preventing remarriage is adding insult to injury.

Matt 5 shows that a further sin of adultery is possible. If the relationship is adultery, then I can't see how forgiveness and a continuation are compatible.
Offending Christian divorcees shouldn't be the primary concern, but it seems to be off limits to repeat what Jesus actually says. Why do we ignore the truth here?

 

[Constantine the Sinner]

Unless there is an extremely good reason for the divorce, then divorce and remarriage is adultery. God doesn't recognizance the new marriage, he sees it as an adulterous relationship, as Christ made expressly clear.

 

[mercyfollowsme]

Jesus seemed to take a very serious stance on divorce, saying that a man commits adultery if he divorces his wife and marries another woman. However, Jesus also taught forgiveness and not to judge others. No one can judge a divorced person for what transpired during their failed relationship. Also, a divorced person will surely earn forgiveness if he or she made things right with God, as there is no sin that is out of reach from God's forgiveness.

Is ongoing adultery possible of forgiveness since there is no real repentance

 

[Archie the Preacher]

As a man with multiple divorces, this is very serious to me.

I'm not going to attempt to justify myself or my actions to anyone. I have more regrets on more levels than most people can fathom. I'm not proud of it. I truly wish I could go back and do it right. But I cannot.

However, I am totally forgiven for all my sins. So - as far as God is concerned - my 'tally' is clear. I have problems with not letting go of the mistakes I made, but that isn't God's doing and He's working on me to 'fix' all that.

For the record, I don't plan on getting into such a predicament again. Hence, I am celibate. I suppose if God sends me a woman, I'll notice, but I'm not looking and probably will take a lot of convincing if such opportunity presents.

 

[Constantine the Sinner]

As a man with multiple divorces, this is very serious to me.

I'm not going to attempt to justify myself or my actions to anyone. I have more regrets on more levels than most people can fathom. I'm not proud of it. I truly wish I could go back and do it right. But I cannot.

However, I am totally forgiven for all my sins. So - as far as God is concerned - my 'tally' is clear. I have problems with not letting go of the mistakes I made, but that isn't God's doing and He's working on me to 'fix' all that.

For the record, I don't plan on getting into such a predicament again. Hence, I am celibate. I suppose if God sends me a woman, I'll notice, but I'm not looking and probably will take a lot of convincing if such opportunity presents.

Christ saved the adulteress, after all.

 

[Archie the Preacher]

Christ saved the adulteress, after all.

A great relief to me!

 

[bcbsr]

See a comprehensive analysis of the issues of divorce and remarriage at
http://bcbsr.com/topics/marry.html

 

[pdudgeon]

If someone divorced their spouse in a sinful way, and then remarried, ive heard it said that God would forgive their sin, and they move on with the next marriage.

Firstly, is the second marriage recognised by God, and if not, doesnt this make the second marriage, an ongoing sinful adulterous relationship that shouldnt continue?
So forgiveness in that context couldnt validate more of the same?

We just had a sermon on divorce, so its a question that was raised.

different churches view this question in different ways.
that said, the important thing here is understanding what makes a marriage in the first place.
Most people (especially the ones getting married) have no concept of what a marriage really entails.
That's why most responsible churches will highly suggest (or require) 6 months of marriage prep classes
and consults with clergy to ensure that everyone is on the same page.

In Jesus' day it was very easy for a man to divorce his wife for the most superficial reasons.
the problem with that was that the society in those days was run by the men--either father or the husband.
There were few exceptions, which left a divorced wife in dire straits when it came to the basics of food, shelter, clothing, and money.

Jesus wanted to correct this, so he took the men to task for their responsibilities as husbands, reminding them of the binding that had taken place at their weddings.

so getting back to your OP, a responsible church would ask that both parties examine their original marriage prep, and the reasons for the previous divorce so that they have a better understanding of marriage than when each of them first ventured forth.
Beyond that, the church itself would be held responsible for any further decisions regarding a second marriage.

and yes, there are some churches where the reasons given for the divorce of the first marriage would not be seen as being correct or allowable. In that case the first marriage would be upheld so long as the ex was still living, and the second marriage declared adulterous provided that normal marital relations were occuring in the second marriage.

But that's not where they leave things hanging, and that's also not where Jesus left them hanging either.
Jesus' response was "Go, and sin no more."
Hope that answers your question.

 

[Alonso_Castillo]

If someone divorced their spouse in a sinful way, and then remarried, ive heard it said that God would forgive their sin, and they move on with the next marriage.

Firstly, is the second marriage recognised by God, and if not, doesnt this make the second marriage, an ongoing sinful adulterous relationship that shouldnt continue?
So forgiveness in that context couldnt validate more of the same?

We just had a sermon on divorce, so its a question that was raised.

Matthew 19:4-9

4 He answered, Have you never read, how he who created them, when they first came to be, created them male and female; and how he said,
5 A man, therefore, will leave his father and mother and will cling to his wife, and the two will become one flesh?[1]
6 And so they are no longer two, they are one flesh; what God, then, has joined, let not man put asunder.
7 Why then, they said, did Moses enjoin that a man might give his wife a writ of separation, and then he might put her away?
8 He told them, It was to suit your hard hearts that Moses allowed you to put your wives away; it was not so at the beginning of things.
9 And I tell you that he who puts away his wife, not for any unfaithfulness of hers, and so marries another, commits adultery; and he too commits adultery, who marries her after she has been put away


According to the Lord divorce is to undo what God did of Man and Woman from two flesh, one flesh. That is then Sin.
But Adultery is after divorce, remarrying, and the adultery is for both since they are not two different flesh but one flesh.

The same way the Name of the Lord suffers by the infidelity of his Flock, since the Church is the wife of the Lord, The same way the husband and the wife though separated suffer the infidelity of the other.

 

[3pete333]

As a man with multiple divorces, this is very serious to me.

I'm not going to attempt to justify myself or my actions to anyone. I have more regrets on more levels than most people can fathom. I'm not proud of it. I truly wish I could go back and do it right. But I cannot.

However, I am totally forgiven for all my sins. So - as far as God is concerned - my 'tally' is clear. I have problems with not letting go of the mistakes I made, but that isn't God's doing and He's working on me to 'fix' all that.

For the record, I don't plan on getting into such a predicament again. Hence, I am celibate. I suppose if God sends me a woman, I'll notice, but I'm not looking and probably will take a lot of convincing if such opportunity presents.

Me neither. A fine christian women would have to chase me down, tackle me and bend my arm back...just to get me to go to lunch. Ha.I'm once divorced. It exploded my family and was not my choice, nor did I cause it in any major way. Not that I am perfect.
Of course Jesus forgives divorced people. I won't open the remarriage can of worms.

 

[OneChristianLight]

Is ongoing adultery possible of forgiveness since there is no real repentance

If someone is remarried but has truly repented, I wouldn't describe his or her new marriage as ongoing adultery because God's forgiveness is unlimited, even when serious sins are involved. Christ, who died for our sins, didn't come to redeem righteous people; he came to forgive repentant adulterers and ungodly people in general.

 

[pdudgeon]

If someone is remarried but has truly repented, I wouldn't describe his or her new marriage as ongoing adultery because God's forgiveness is unlimited, even when serious sins are involved. Christ, who died for our sins, didn't come to redeem righteous people; he came to forgive repentant adulterers and ungodly people in general.

your first sentence is contradictory.
if someone is remarried but is repentant in that remarriage--recognizing it as adultery-- then they separate preferably, or else live as though they were not married.
otherwise they are knowingly living in rebellion against what God asks of them.

Christ did indeed come to forgive people for their sins. but He also expected them to live accordingly and not to treat that forgiveness lightly by continuing to persue knowingly what they now fully recognized as sin.

You'll find this exact mistreating of God's mercy spoken of in the Gospel of Jude verses 1-13.

 

[Patrick Miron]

If someone divorced their spouse in a sinful way, and then remarried, ive heard it said that God would forgive their sin, and they move on with the next marriage.

Firstly, is the second marriage recognised by God, and if not, doesnt this make the second marriage, an ongoing sinful adulterous relationship that shouldnt continue?
So forgiveness in that context couldnt validate more of the same?

We just had a sermon on divorce, so its a question that was raised.

Thank you,

ALL sins can be forgiven CONDITIONALLY

The conditions mandate TRUE Repentance and CONVERSION; so as you suggest, living as "husband and wife" in an ungoing SINFUL condition, would negate these ESSENTIAL conditions.

Such a couple would have to choose to live as "brother & sister", no sexual union, to be reunited fully with Christ and His Catholic Church.

God Bless you
Partick

 

[Teresa C.]

This is a hotbed topic no matter what. There will always be 2 very serious sides about whether or not remarriage is sin. I was in an abusive marriage for almost 10 years and it ended in divorce. Though I was never Physically abused I was verbally and emotionally abused, almost on a daily basis. I divorced him, knowing that all the promises for change were not possible and he even professed Christ as Savior. Though I was not and am not his judge I do know that there was no fruit on his tree and that he was incapable of being kind and loving and did not want to let go of his rage. So, I am divorced and whether or not I was abused if I choose to remarry I can't fathom that it would be sinful. However I won't remarry until I know that God has chosen someone for me and if that's the case and I truly wait on Him, then it couldn't possibly be sinful.

 

[hedrick]

Thank you,

ALL sins can be forgiven CONDITIONALLY

The conditions mandate TRUE Repentance and CONVERSION; so as you suggest, living as "husband and wife" in an ungoing SINFUL condition, would negate these ESSENTIAL conditions.

I don't see anything like that in Jesus' teachings. Look carefully at how Jesus uses terms. He always uses repent for a major change, from being a non-follower to being a follower. The only exception I can think of is Luke 17:4,and that between humans.

 

[Alonso_Castillo]

This is a hotbed topic no matter what. There will always be 2 very serious sides about whether or not remarriage is sin. I was in an abusive marriage for almost 10 years and it ended in divorce. Though I was never Physically abused I was verbally and emotionally abused, almost on a daily basis. I divorced him, knowing that all the promises for change were not possible and he even professed Christ as Savior. Though I was not and am not his judge I do know that there was no fruit on his tree and that he was incapable of being kind and loving and did not want to let go of his rage. So, I am divorced and whether or not I was abused if I choose to remarry I can't fathom that it would be sinful. However I won't remarry until I know that God has chosen someone for me and if that's the case and I truly wait on Him, then it couldn't possibly be sinful.

I am not going to judge you, the word of God amy.

 

[OneChristianLight]

your first sentence is contradictory.
if someone is remarried but is repentant in that remarriage--recognizing it as adultery-- then they separate preferably, or else live as though they were not married.
otherwise they are knowingly living in rebellion against what God asks of them.

Christ did indeed come to forgive people for their sins. but He also expected them to live accordingly and not to treat that forgiveness lightly by continuing to persue knowingly what they now fully recognized as sin.

Yoy'll find this exact mistreating of God's mercy spoken of in the Gospel of Jude verses 1-13.

You're forgetting that a previous marriage is in the past. What's done is done. There's no reason to believe that God would hold someone's past sins against them. No harm is done if a remarried person is genuinely repentant and lives a godly life in his or her new marriage. Frankly, I don't see why God would wish for a repentant divorced person to live alone until his or her former spouse dies, which would mean many decades of loneliness for that person. After all, God created Eve precisely because he didn't want Adam to be lonely.