for those who are say 45 or better and have had a parent gone two years or more

[LovesOurLord]

I am not sure if this goes here (if not staff feel free to move. I am 26 ( 27 in August) and lost my father when I was 23 in March of that year I HATE Father's Day and was wondering if that gets better as I get older and more people my age start losing parents and it becomes the "norm"? I put the age on it because mid 40s early 50s is when that (usually) starts happening a good bit and thus they have the people catching up with them and the two years or better because I figure no matter HOW OLD you are the first year after losing a parent ( Mother's/ Father"s Day will be hard.

You know it does. I lost my mother at the age of 16 in 1986. I never knew my father though he died when I was 19. He abandoned the family when my mother was 2 months pregnant with me, running away with his mistress.

Over time your pain will lessen. I still sometimes cry about my mom, but the grief I feel isn't nearly the level in the first year. When that one year anniversary came around, my grief and a sense of feeling completely lost hit me so deep and hard that my legs nearly gave out. I had lessening versions of that as the years went by. Time does help the healing process.

I will always miss her and grieve for her, but there has also been healing in my heart. I would say now it's more like an old scar that opens a bit sometimes as opposed to a deep knife wound, if that makes sense. It took me 7 years before I could even bring myself to look at her photo, and even then I immediately burst out crying. When you lose someone dear to you, it just happens. But it will get better.

 

[drjean]

It's been 24 years since my dad passed at age 84 and 9 years since my mom died at 89... and 4 1/2 years since my second service dog Dood Caleb died at age 7. I miss the dog the most but I think because it's still raw.

My parents are in heaven and wouldn't return for any reason, I'm sure! It does get easier in time... but sometimes it still hits you out of the blue...I can still find something Mom would have liked and I fleetingly think...oh I'll call mom... Dad came to me in dreams...no he wasn't part of any of the dream just ducked his head around a corner and asked how I was doing and as soon as I stopped my dream and replied, he was gone. After mom died, he brought her with him once. I haven't seen either in a dream since.... they have my first service dog with them, I assume they have Dood too..

I used to smoke a small cigar the type my dad would smoke... on his birthday July 5th. My mom's birthday is also my son's --and his son's birthdays. Hard to keep them separate you know?

I have my mom's wedding ring... and a pic of her and her best friend... and a friend just gave me an old single cup percolator for the van life...and it's just like the one mom and dad had when they toured Europe back in the 1960s! Good memories.

Unless we were with our parents...we relied upon memories of them as we went through our days until we visited with them again. Now, well, we just don't have those times to visit..all we have are the memories.

Be well.

 

[Kiterius]

I am not sure if this goes here (if not staff feel free to move. I am 26 ( 27 in August) and lost my father when I was 23 in March of that year I HATE Father's Day and was wondering if that gets better as I get older and more people my age start losing parents and it becomes the "norm"? I put the age on it because mid 40s early 50s is when that (usually) starts happening a good bit and thus they have the people catching up with them and the two years or better because I figure no matter HOW OLD you are the first year after losing a parent ( Mother's/ Father"s Day will be hard.

It gets better.

Having a parent pass is nothing compared to some other things. A few years ago, friends of mine lost their son who was a pastor in his 20's. That seems to me a whole lot harder.

 

[Duke fan]

My condolences.

My mother died on Mother’s Day when I was 7. I am now 49 and Mother’s Day is still a very difficult day for me each year...but, it has gotten easier to deal with over time, and the pain is not as sharp as it once was.

My prayers are with you. I lost my mother on my birthday in 2006. It was a very sad day.