Flatmates

[laurabuk]

Hi,

I have been asked today if I would be willing to share a flat with two of my best friends @ University. I currently live at home and travel in by train.

The situation is this: one of the people (my closest n/c friend) is gay, and the other and the fourth flatmate are in a relationship (not-married). None of them are Christians.

I have asked advice of my b/f and off two people I know through church. One friend says yes go for it - can witness better if living with non-Christians rather than living in an insular Christian bubble - the whole light on a dark background argument. The other says no, for reasons to be discussed tomorrow when I see her. My b/f is fine about me moving out of home into accomodation, but does not like the idea of me sharing a flat with non-Christians.

I'm on the fence. I don't want to go against Christian principles, but I also don't wish to commute for another year, and want to move closer to Uni. Costing is not an issue - although I think my b/f would prefer if I saved up for our own home.

HELP! What are your views? I'm confused

Laura

 

[HannahBanana]

I personally would live with them, since (apart from me being a bisexual) I realize that I'm no better than they are, sin-wise, and I feel like refusing to live with them would be like saying "nope, you're not good enough to live with me," and that is absolutely not the message that Christ preached.

But, in the end, it's up to you, and you know yourself better than I know you, so I won't try to tell you what would be best for you. Good luck with this!

 

[sunstruckdream]

I don't think it's a matter of Christian principles...I think it's a matter of what you're comfortable with. If you feel iffy about it, say you want to live at home awhile longer. But if you're okay with it and you feel that you're strong enough spiritually to handle it well, then I'd say it's fine.

 

[ClausJohn]

if you see this as an opportunity to do some "missionary work", then for the sake of those people please don't move in. That you think of yourself as better as them (light vs. dark) is kind of obvious. You're not. Get over it.

 

[laurabuk]

I'm not sure if my point has got across as intended. What I meant to say was that as a Christian person should be separated from worldly people in that they should be salt and light.

On another note - I am still divided and confused by this matter. My b/f and I had our first big row about it tonight - he tried to forbid me from moving in. I don't want to do wrong by the Bible but I also want to be a witness and to move in. I am split in two by this matter ... I have a big long list of pros but only one con which is the fact that they are non-Christians but I feel that this is a very weighty con. I'm so confused!!

 

[Molal]

I'm not sure if my point has got across as intended. What I meant to say was that as a Christian person should be separated from worldly people in that they should be salt and light.

On another note - I am still divided and confused by this matter. My b/f and I had our first big row about it tonight - he tried to forbid me from moving in. I don't want to do wrong by the Bible but I also want to be a witness and to move in. I am split in two by this matter ... I have a big long list of pros but only one con which is the fact that they are non-Christians but I feel that this is a very weighty con. I'm so confused!!

Christ always made an effort to speak with sinners and he did not separate himself from the world; however, he remained different (sinless) than they were.

I perceive no problem you living with them, as long as you feel you can be strong (not be influenced) and you can lead by example as a christian. Show them how you live, be known for your fruits (so too speak).

Good luck in whatever you decide.

 

[spr]

If you think you might be in for temptation go the other way.

 

[Mr. 5020]

Hi,

I have been asked today if I would be willing to share a flat with two of my best friends @ University. I currently live at home and travel in by train.

The situation is this: one of the people (my closest n/c friend) is gay, and the other and the fourth flatmate are in a relationship (not-married). None of them are Christians.

I have asked advice of my b/f and off two people I know through church. One friend says yes go for it - can witness better if living with non-Christians rather than living in an insular Christian bubble - the whole light on a dark background argument. The other says no, for reasons to be discussed tomorrow when I see her. My b/f is fine about me moving out of home into accomodation, but does not like the idea of me sharing a flat with non-Christians.

I'm on the fence. I don't want to go against Christian principles, but I also don't wish to commute for another year, and want to move closer to Uni. Costing is not an issue - although I think my b/f would prefer if I saved up for our own home.

HELP! What are your views? I'm confused

Laura

Who cares what my views are?

The fact that you're so uncomfortable with the idea probably means you shouldn't do it.

 

[Sketcher]

I think you need to look at what's actually going to be going on inside the house and think about whether you can put up with it or not. Do any of these people have problems with paying their bills or holding down a job? What kind of people will they bring in as guests, and what will be going on in the house? Do any of them have a trail of former roommates who they are not on good terms with? Do any of them have trouble with the law?

I for one, would not want to live in a house where people are getting drunk, or smoking anything. I would not want roommates that throw the stereotypical college party, with the debauchery around, and especially not if gay stuff is going to be happening. What makes this even worse is that sometimes, guests help themselves to YOUR bed, and you can't be there for every party to stop it. As much as I can help it, I will not live with a person who cannot hold down a job again, or with a convict again, or with a person who has a cavalier attitude towards paying bills on time again.

 

[Mr. 5020]

I think you need to look at what's actually going to be going on inside the house and think about whether you can put up with it or not. Do any of these people have problems with paying their bills or holding down a job? What kind of people will they bring in as guests, and what will be going on in the house? Do any of them have a trail of former roommates who they are not on good terms with? Do any of them have trouble with the law?

I for one, would not want to live in a house where people are getting drunk, or smoking anything. I would not want roommates that throw the stereotypical college party, with the debauchery around, and especially not if gay stuff is going to be happening. What makes this even worse is that sometimes, guests help themselves to YOUR bed, and you can't be there for every party to stop it. As much as I can help it, I will not live with a person who cannot hold down a job again, or with a convict again, or with a person who has a cavalier attitude towards paying bills on time again.

Again?

Some things you learn the hard way.

 

[Sketcher]

Again?

Some things you learn the hard way.

Well, there's a story behind that. He wasn't part of the original group, but one of my roomies had a friend on the tether system in need, and a soft heart. He broke our house rules several times, and we kicked him out. He's an example of an uncooperative person. You don't want to live with uncooperative people.

 

[Mr. 5020]

Well, there's a story behind that. He wasn't part of the original group, but one of my roomies had a friend on the tether system in need, and a soft heart. He broke our house rules several times, and we kicked him out. He's an example of an uncooperative person. You don't want to live with uncooperative people.

Several times?

You are more gracious than I.

 

[laurabuk]

I think you need to look at what's actually going to be going on inside the house and think about whether you can put up with it or not. Do any of these people have problems with paying their bills or holding down a job? What kind of people will they bring in as guests, and what will be going on in the house? Do any of them have a trail of former roommates who they are not on good terms with? Do any of them have trouble with the law?

I think I should clarify how things are done in student accommodation in the UK. Basically there is a compound made up of several blocks of accomodation houses inside each house is x flats made up of x people. The one I am looking at is 4 people to a flat - but there is none of this bill splitting that you get with private accomodation. You each pay your bill every quarter (only 3 quarters of the year, as its aa 42 week contract rather than a year) to the business that owns the flats. The good thing about the flat set up is that you have an electronic tag to buzz yourself into the compound, which also buzzes you into the house that you live in. You then have a key to get into the flat and a key to get into your own bedsit/study room. That is obviously a big pro as you can't get randoms off the street wandering in. Also, they are friends from the course I am on not randoms that have been allocated by the accomodation bosses; so I do know them quite well. As each person pays their own bill direct to the accomodation bosses there is no risk of one person paying all the bills - the flat rate (approx £75 p/w) includes electricity, water, gas and internet access.

Sounds like you didn't have a good time with your flatmates!

 

[Molal]

I think I should clarify how things are done in student accommodation in the UK. Basically there is a compound made up of several blocks of accomodation houses inside each house is x flats made up of x people. The one I am looking at is 4 people to a flat - but there is none of this bill splitting that you get with private accomodation. You each pay your bill every quarter (only 3 quarters of the year, as its aa 42 week contract rather than a year) to the business that owns the flats. The good thing about the flat set up is that you have an electronic tag to buzz yourself into the compound, which also buzzes you into the house that you live in. You then have a key to get into the flat and a key to get into your own bedsit/study room. That is obviously a big pro as you can't get randoms off the street wandering in. Also, they are friends from the course I am on not randoms that have been allocated by the accomodation bosses; so I do know them quite well. As each person pays their own bill direct to the accomodation bosses there is no risk of one person paying all the bills - the flat rate (approx £75 p/w) includes electricity, water, gas and internet access.

Sounds like you didn't have a good time with your flatmates!

Where are you going to Uni? If you don't want to answer, then don't worry

 

[laurabuk]

I think you need to look at what's actually going to be going on inside the house and think about whether you can put up with it or not. Do any of these people have problems with paying their bills or holding down a job? What kind of people will they bring in as guests, and what will be going on in the house? Do any of them have a trail of former roommates who they are not on good terms with? Do any of them have trouble with the law?

I think I should clarify how things are done in student accommodation in the UK. Basically there is a compound made up of several blocks of accomodation houses inside each house is x flats made up of x people. The one I am looking at is 4 people to a flat - but there is none of this bill splitting that you get with private accomodation. You each pay your bill every quarter (only 3 quarters of the year, as its aa 42 week contract rather than a year) to the business that owns the flats. The good thing about the flat set up is that you have an electronic tag to buzz yourself into the compound, which also buzzes you into the house that you live in. You then have a key to get into the flat and a key to get into your own bedsit/study room. That is obviously a big pro as you can't get randoms off the street wandering in. Also, they are friends from the course I am on not randoms that have been allocated by the accomodation bosses; so I do know them quite well. As each person pays their own bill direct to the accomodation bosses there is no risk of one person paying all the bills - the flat rate (approx £75 p/w) includes electricity, water, gas and internet access.

Sounds like you didn't have a good time with your flatmates!

 

[laurabuk]

Ooops managed to post that twice!

I'm at Liverpool JMU

 

[Molal]

Ooops managed to post that twice!

I'm at Liverpool JMU

Cool - I went to Birmingham. What are you studying?

 

[laurabuk]

I'm studying Pharmacy.

It's cool if a little aggravating at times - I'm living at home at the moment which takes about 40mins on train plus 5-10mins drive from my house to the station. The train was 20minutes late this morning, turned up at 9 - but there was no lecture on till 10 (I would have had to go in anyway as there is no parking at station). I had the lecture, went to the cafe with a friend in my free, he left and I stayed to do some work. Turned up to the lab as scheduled at 2 only for the Dr. to flip a coin and decide that the other group should go in first as there were too many for one lab!! So I wasted 4.5 hours in the middle of the day doing nothing!!

*Rant over*

What did you study?

 

[Orlathon]

Sounds like this is quite an important decision for you to make... one that could potentially affect your Christian walk for at least the next few years of your life!

Which means it's VERY important as to how you choose in this situtation. What you have to weigh up, and pray about, is that is this where the Lord is calling you at the present stage? How will moving into this flat with non-Christians affect your spiritual walk with the Lord?

While yes it does present itself as a very good opportunity to be a witness and evangalise... are you going to be able to keep that up, and keep firm in your faith while potentially non-Christian acts go on around you. And will you be able to be understanding of what they do even if it is against what you believe in?

 

[Molal]

I'm studying Pharmacy.

It's cool if a little aggravating at times - I'm living at home at the moment which takes about 40mins on train plus 5-10mins drive from my house to the station. The train was 20minutes late this morning, turned up at 9 - but there was no lecture on till 10 (I would have had to go in anyway as there is no parking at station). I had the lecture, went to the cafe with a friend in my free, he left and I stayed to do some work. Turned up to the lab as scheduled at 2 only for the Dr. to flip a coin and decide that the other group should go in first as there were too many for one lab!! So I wasted 4.5 hours in the middle of the day doing nothing!!

*Rant over*

What did you study?

Pharmacy - really interesting subject. My second choice of degree programs was pharmacy - my first (and the one I did) was geology. I'm a structural geologist.

I stayed on campus for my first year and then lived off campus with friends for the next two years. I wasn't a christian at the time.