Fixed up by people you don't know...

[CoachR64]

Ok, I know some people are not going to like this, but I gotta give some background info and be honest here...

I am a big dude. I played college football, and after that, I put on some weight. I am also 6'4" so I am tall AND big. But, for me, I am not attracted to large girls. It's just not what interests me. Some people are and that is cool. I just am not. And no, I am not saying a girl has to be a skinny supermodel. There is a difference in being overweight and being really large. I am attracted to some girls that would be considered overweight, but I am not attracted to big girls even though I am a big dude.

Now, here is the point: It seems that every year, some ladies at the place I work (been this way at all 3 different schools I have taught at now) think it is their job to fix me up since I am single. Every time, it happens to be people that don't really know me at all other than the fact that I am a coach and I am single. They know nothing about me, my likes, dislikes, beliefs, values, etc... But, for some reason, they always want to fix me up.

And it never fails that because I am a big dude, they always pick the largest girl they can find and think "hey, they'd make a great match." Well, it is happening again already this year at my new job. And to make matters worse, they are trying to fix me up with the daughter of one of the ladies I work with. They cornered me last night at the game to introduce me to this girl. I feel bad, because I basicly said "hello" immediately followed by "I gotta go. Gotta get up stairs and get set up for stats" and took off as fast as I could.

This puts me in a weird position because I like the ladies I work with, and I don't know how to say "look, I'm just not interested in your daughter" without hurting feelings. Being that it is the daughter of someone I have to work with is just making it really uncomfortable.

Anyone want to pretend to be my new girlfriend for a few weeks so I can get out of this one?

It's either that, or "I'm a non practicing homosexual."

I could always go with the truth, which is that I simply am not interested, but I don't want to be slapped.

Coach

 

[BranwenUerchLlyr]

You could focus on the fact that she's a daughter of a coworker and explain how that makes you uncomfortable--that would seem reasonable enough to me.

Good luck.

 

[WileyCoyote]

Dude, just be honest. Say you're not interested. Women do it all the time, why can't a guy?

You have no problem being brutally honest on here. You say you are the same in "real life" as you are on here. So tell her you are not interested. And while you're at it, tell those women to stop trying to set you up. Obviously they are not good at picking women you would be interested in.

 

[Wren]

Sure, you can tell them you have a girlfriend in Wisconsin named Shelly

Seriously, I agree with what's been said. Be honest. And explain that dating a coworker's daughter is just not a good idea. Tell them you like to keep work and your romantic life separate, unless of course you would want to date a coworker or coworker's daughter somewhere down the road.

 

[hikingchick77]

^^

 

[CoachR64]

Wiley,

You are right. I am honest here and in real life. The thing is, I am trying to figure out how to be honest in this situation in a way that doesn't cause me major grief and headache down the road. One of the lady's trying to set me up is my head wrestling coach's wife and she also is the sponsor/coach for our mat maid girls that travel everywhere with us. So I have to work closely with her all year. Most of the time, I simply wouldn't care and just say "no thanks." Here, i am just trying to figure out how to say the same thing without making the rest of the school year totally miserable for myself.

Coach

 

[kevlite2020]

That's a rough situation, bro. I hate when people take it upon themselves to "cure" me of singleness because they think they have the perfect match for me, even when they don't know a thing about me. It's almost offensive sometimes, when someone who barely knows me, usually for me it's been people I work with too, try to hook me up with some girl who is just hideous to look at (no offense ladies, but I can't think of a delicate way to put it for some of these women I've met) and have either no personalities, or personalities so offensive that I could never ever be involved with them. And that's what some people out there have thought were the perfect girl for me. Which makes me think, what on earth do they think of ME that that's my match?

It's really a bummer. I hope you find a smooth way out of this bro.

 

[septemberskies]

Just say that you're sure she's an awesome person but it would be a conflict of interest.

There is no need to reveal your personal preferences... it's not anyone's business.

 

[septemberskies]

That's a rough situation, bro. I hate when people take it upon themselves to "cure" me of singleness because they think they have the perfect match for me, even when they don't know a thing about me. It's almost offensive sometimes, when someone who barely knows me, usually for me it's been people I work with too, try to hook me up with some girl who is just hideous to look at (no offense ladies, but I can't think of a delicate way to put it for some of these women I've met) and have either no personalities, or personalities so offensive that I could never ever be involved with them. And that's what some people out there have thought were the perfect girl for me. Which makes me think, what on earth do they think of ME that that's my match?

It's really a bummer. I hope you find a smooth way out of this bro.

I think co-workers especially are famous for trying to set me up with the most sleaziest of guys. They're not my type by any stretch of the imagination. For most people, singleness equals desperation, and it couldn't be more further from the truth.

And let's face it, people do stereotype. You're a big guy, so that automatically means you like larger ladies. You're a short guy, you have to find a shorter girl. You're a big girl, you'll take anything you can get. You're a tall girl, so you must only like the model types. No one knows your type better than you but people love to assume that they do.

 

[welshman]

Like wiley said...just be honest. I'm sure they have good intentions but tell them straight that as a Christian; you don't date unbelievers. They can like it or not. Be respectful to them obviously. It's the truth and the "truth shall set you free".

 

[CoachR64]

I don't think I said anywhere she was an unbeliever. In fact, I have no clue what she believes.

Coach

 

[CoachR64]

Also, the whole stereotyping thing is the reason I have a problem with this in general. If someone doesn't know me, they have no business trying to fix me up! I mean, seriously, if you have never had more than a 5 minute conversation about anything other than work, what makes you think you know me well enough to fix me up with anyone?

Coach

 

[Wren]

I hate that too. I've only been set up once and it was obvious that they thought, "well, he's single and she's single, so let's see if we can fix that." I don't let anyone set me up anymore. I'm lucky that I have worked with mostly people my age and younger, so they were not trying to hook me up with their kids.

 

[deepgreen11]

Can I just say,

"Don't ask me no questions, and I won't tell you no lies. Don't ask me about my business, and I won't tell you goodbye"--Skynyrd

People see me with men...and think "Couple!"

Blah to being set up!!! And if they're going to suggest, they ought not corner you. I get very uneasy when cornered.

 

[white dove]

Wow, they're that forceful, hey?

 

[white dove]

Also, the whole stereotyping thing is the reason I have a problem with this in general. If someone doesn't know me, they have no business trying to fix me up! I mean, seriously, if you have never had more than a 5 minute conversation about anything other than work, what makes you think you know me well enough to fix me up with anyone?

Coach

I love helping other people, but I cringe at the thought of matching people up. I guess that's because I don't view random match-ups as particularly helpful.

 

[IDDQD]

Dude, just be honest. Say you're not interested. Women do it all the time, why can't a guy?

You have no problem being brutally honest on here. You say you are the same in "real life" as you are on here. So tell her you are not interested. And while you're at it, tell those women to stop trying to set you up. Obviously they are not good at picking women you would be interested in.

This minus the razz face.

 

[Thomas1984]

I'm sure you wouldn't want to hurt anyone intentionally Coach, but sticking to the truth will ultimately show that you respect her enough to be straight with her. Anything else will just dig the hole deeper.

 

[Inkachu]

Smile and say "no, thank you".

At least, that's what I'd do. It's nobody's business for your reasons behind saying no.

 

[Inkachu]

The women I work with are constantly oogling guys who come into our office and then giving me the "eh? eh?" look. I just laugh and shake my head. If they actually say something like "What about him, Vicky? Well? He's cute, he's nice, etc".. I just say "Nope, not interested" and leave it at that. If they keep on, I just keep saying "Thanks, but not interested" with a nice smile. Sometimes, you have to be direct and you have to be direct again and again and again. But eventually they'll see they aren't going to get anywhere with you and they'll stop.

Till the next time around lol.