first dates

[blackribbon]

At what point in a first date do you decide whether or not you are interested in a second date?

And what kind of things make you decide this (either way)?

 

[dayhiker]

If I enjoy the date, I'm open to a second day.
If the conversation indicated she has a very different plan for her life than what I'd want to fit into the plan for my life then I'll not plan a 2nd date.

 

[AvilaSurfer]

At what point in a first date do you decide whether or not you are interested in a second date?
About 30 seconds

And what kind of things make you decide this (either way)?
My gut.

.

 

[blackribbon]

.

But AvilaSurfer...what could a person say or do that would make you shut down at 30 seconds if you were interested enough to agree to a date?

I went on a date and after the first half hour, I think he almost just started putting things out there that he expected would make me walk away. There was nothing shocking or horrible in there though.

Also, there were a few things about my life that are less than ordinary, but not necessarily shocking...that I know took him off-guard. However, on the first date, I am not planning to get married yet. Just make a friend that might develop into more.

If he handed me a joint or was too handsy, then there might not a second date...maybe if our politics were too different (especially being an election year) or he was too forceful on his beliefs...or if there was something about me that disgusted him (like I ate meat and he didn't) but then he wouldn't want to see me either so that is okay.

 

[MennoII]

If I enjoy the date, I'm open to a second day.
If the conversation indicated she has a very different plan for her life than what I'd want to fit into the plan for my life then I'll not plan a 2nd date.

Ditto!

 

[blackribbon]

I don't know how I'd answer this if asked at this point in my life.

On a first date, I think I'd give the what I expect "if I'm alone" version of "how I see my life"...because at that point, I couldn't imagine the new guy in it...and I don't know that I can just insert an "imaginary man" at this age like I could when I was young. So how would this effect the guy's view of me?

 

[dayhiker]

Black .. are you saying because your life is so organized around you being single you don't know how you would find time for a BF? I don't know that I understood what you were say, so don't know how to respond.

 

[Life2Christ]

At what point in a first date do you decide whether or not you are interested in a second date?

And what kind of things make you decide this (either way)?

For me to cancel after a first date, I would have to hear one of the following phrases:

"My ex-girlfriend was such a _____."
"I'm really into ________ (fill in video game or comic)"
"My buddies and I went to a strip joint recently"
"I hate kids"

 

[blackribbon]

Black .. are you saying because your life is so organized around you being single you don't know how you would find time for a BF? I don't know that I understood what you were say, so don't know how to respond.

No, I'm saying that I'm organizing my future plans with the assumption that I'm going to be alone...and will plan it that way until life offers me a solid chance of it changing. So if a guy asks me my future plans, it will be those plans...and I hope he will understand that things are flexible if the winds end up blowing me a different direction again.

I'm absolutely not organized in any way shape or form...barely making on some days. I thought I didn't have any time for a bf...but I have found a way to be able to be slightly more efficient with my time now that I'm hoping to squeeze a phone call or coffee in occasionally.

 

[blackribbon]

For me to cancel after a first date, I would have to hear one of the following phrases:

"My ex-girlfriend was such a _____."
"I'm really into ________ (fill in video game or comic)"
"My buddies and I went to a strip joint recently"
"I hate kids"

Yes! I get those. I think I am getting what people are saying. Thanks for the tangible examples.

I honestly think I'm a little bit naive to what kind of "interesting" souls are out there in the singles world.

 

[dayhiker]

OK, I got it now, black.

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

For me to cancel after a first date, I would have to hear one of the following phrases:

"My ex-girlfriend was such a _____."
"I'm really into ________ (fill in video game or comic)"
"My buddies and I went to a strip joint recently"
"I hate kids"

LOL! Yeah, if she is bitter about her ex and she wants to talk and talk about that... no thanks, I don't want to be the next target.

I knew a guy who was into comic books. Once he got me into a conversation about his interest and he went on and on talking about the different characters as if they were real. And he seemed to be really excited talking about it and he started talking so fast I had a little trouble understanding everything he was saying. It was kind of unsettling to hear an adult talk like that.

I guess I don't really understand the appeal of video games and probably someone my age should not try. I was curious once and I went to the video game store and told the clerk, "I want a Wii." He said, "The restroom is over there."

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I'm not into video games either. At one time my husband got into and partially owned a comic book store. He had all these collectible comics. I was not interested. He would tell me this one is worth X amount and I could hardly believe it. Now I DID find out that he used to have (when he was a kid) a comic book collection and he had the number 1 issue of Spiderman, which a few years back was worth about 10 grand. Too bad his mom thru them all out! I saw a T-shirt once that said, "I used to be a millionaire, until my mom got rid of all my comic books" LOL. Some of the oldies are worth money.
And I can't get behind video games either. I can sit and surf the net here at work, but I'm not a gamer. My SIL makes us play board games when we visit her. I have fun during the visits, but otherwise, I'm just not into playing games.

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

I guess I can understand collecting comic books as an investment. I think an adult who is into all the characters and the latest story lines is a little weird. But I once spent part of a vacation looking for meteorite fragments so perhaps I sould not be too severe in judging who is or is not weird.

Now when I was a teenager I did read Mad magazine a lot, and I think it shows, LOL. Video games - If I want to shoot a gun I can take one of my many guns to a range and shoot it - I don't need to shoot a virtual gun in a video game. I don't need a video game about space aliens - I think I know real people who almost qualify. I don't need a video game about stealing a car. Right now I am sharing my car with the bank and the monthly payment is normally about all the excitement I could stand.

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

And I think you missed my joke:
"I went to the video game store and told the clerk, "I want a Wii." He said, "The restroom is over there."

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I DID get it. Sorry I didn't comment LOL

 

[power2theweak]

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

Michelle, power2theweak would like to introduce you to someone...

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Michelle, power2theweak would like to introduce you to someone...

Ha Ha yeah we would get along great because I, too, have issues LOL

 

[blackribbon]

I guess I've really been lucky because I've never gone on a date with someone that I found totally uncompatable. This last time I was really taking my chances cause all I knew about him was his name...first name at that. However, I was able to get him to tell me his last name when we were setting up the meeting. From their I was able to use my super sleuth computer skills...and even figured out where he worked, where he lived, what church he went, and his educationally background before we went out the next day. The story about him matched what I had found...so I was able to feel reasonably safe that he was relatively "real" kind of guy.

(I missed my calling in life...I should have been a stalker...I have found I am pretty good at find out a lot from very little information. LOL)