LittleGirlLost said:
I grew up in a pseudo christian household, meaning that we always had some version of an understanding of God & Jesus and if we wanted to go to church it made our parents very happy, but we weren't required to do so.
Reminds me a bit of my childhood experience, but not exactly.
When I was 15, I joined the United Pentecostal Church and was in that until about 1.5 years ago. At that point I started really studying the holiness standards (no haircuts, no make up, no jewelry, only skirts on women, ect.) and determined that they weren't actually backed up by scripture. (This is not meant to debate w/ members of the UPC) Anyway, I left the UPC and started going to a non-denominational church, which I really enjoyed.
Okay.
However, after being asked about messianic prophecy and studying it, I determined that Jesus did not fit the messianic prophecy in the way that a Jew of his time would have understood them. I decided that God would not have told the Jews what to look for and then sent them something else, so Jesus must not have been the messiah. (Once again, this is not meant to be a debate. I'm just trying to explain where I"m coming from so that you guys can talk to me from an educated standpoint) After that, I started to look into converting to Judaism, but further study determined that if the stories in the Bible are 100% true, the God of the Bible is sort of a jerk, and not at all a God that I would think of as kind or good.
Well, you've contradicted yourself here. You read the OT in a Jewish context for trying to understand Jesus, but not to understand God. Jews do not believe in a bloodthirsty God. Out of curiosity, why did you renig?
Ultimately I left altogether, went through a stage of 'trying on' other religions and then became an atheist. I have been very comfortable in my atheism.
I can see why you got to this point, but because of my above, I can see why your next section is the way it is. You really weren't honest with yourself in trying to understand God.
All that being said... I miss God. I just miss him. Logically, I would tend to think he doesn't exist, but my heart misses him. What I don't miss, are people telling me that if I don't look like them I am going to hell.
1. You "miss" God because you want to believe and because deep down, you know you missed something. See my above for more.
2. Let me make this quite clear: anyone who is going to tell you that you are going to hell is not a Christian. People who are playing God are blasphemous and cruel; ignore such people.
I don't believe that the Bible is 100% infallible, but is rather a compilation of stories that are meant to guide you in the right direction.
That's a...part of it, but works-alone won't get you anywhere. It may be comforting, but Christianity isn't about comfort; it is about a struggle.
Meaning that the it's the meaning that counts as opposed to a word for word interpretion. I think that literalists are very dangerous.
Literalism can be dangerous, but to simply exclude all literal interpretations is simply illogical. One needs to be educated in multiple fields to be able to interpret the Bible in a way that makes logical sense. Anyone can simply claim to have the "Holy Spirit," but if their interpretations make no logical sense, then they are not being truthful.
I don't believe that anything is wrong with homosexuality or premarital sex.
The first is, at best, a hot button issue that I'm not going to give opinion on here.
The second, however, is not permitted even in the very liberal branches of Christianity.
I believe that the problem lies with whoring around and disrespecting yourself and/or other people.
That too is condemned, but premarital sex has always been condemned.
I do not believe that Mary remained a virgin after the birth of Jesus, or that Jesus remained unmarried.
The first is up to debate in a number of Christian circles.
The second, however, is not. He remained celibate.
The latter is mostly because in his day a Jewish man who was unmarried would not be respected or even viewed as a full man, which is why all Rabbi's of that time were married.
Not true. Marriage was considered a cultural icon, but celibacy was also considered noble too by Jews.
Be very careful when reading "Dan Brown"-type books.
I am very drawn to Catholocism. The main reasons are that I find the concept of saints very comforting. I am very attracted (in a spiritual sense) to the history and tradition of Catholocism. I also appreciate that Mary is seen as divine.... to me, that leaves a lot of room to teach a very powerful respect for women to my son something that I don't believe is as available in the denominations that teach all about Eve and little about Mary.
While the Vatican Church is a true and noble church, one of your reasons for your attraction is unfortunately baseless:
The Vatican Church rejects the notion of St. Mary being divine. She is called "Theotokos," or "God-bearer," but she herself is not divine in the slightest.
The Rosary reads to me as a great form of meditation, something that I find very helpful in my daily life... more helpful than I ever found quite prayer. (I know that sounds weird, but that's how it is) I believe that I can talk to God directly, but also like the concept of confession because of the extra guidance that it allows you.
Excellent.
Based on all of that, I've determined that I would like to join the Catholic church, if I go back, but I am also very, very liberal and am unsure if they would have me.
Based on what you've described, you would not be a good Vatican Catholic. Your beliefs are contrary to a great number of their doctrines and dogmas to the point that it is not an option for you unless you changed you mind on a great deal of topics.
I spent a long time in a church were I had to think and look and act like everyone else in order to feel comfortable and I will not join another one. I think that God made us all different because he appreciates our differences, even when those views mean that we see him differantly.
Well, we have a problem. Christianity does teach that God loves us no matter what we do, He does expect us to live in a certain way. Sinning is, of course, inescapable, but we must repent and do not do it again. So long as we keep up the struggle, God will realize we truly do wish to follow His Will, and will forgive us no matter how many times we fall. However, He will not allow unrepentent sinners into heaven, because He is not going to force them to love Him back.
There is a certain moral code we must follow as Christians.
Anyway, I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. I was thinking of joining a Universalist Unitarian church, but there isn't one around.
The UUA is not truly a Christian denomination, but more like Eclecticism. While it is possible according to what few central beliefs they have to participate in their faith and still call yourself a Christian, that is becoming increasingly more rare.
My next choice is Catholocism, but my understanding is that they are very conservative and strict, which I don't like... I just don't know what to do... Any one??
Well...
If you want to embrace Christianity, you are going to have to give up on some of your opinions (and perhaps more) that you've given here. Even the liberal denominations like the United Church of Christ are not going to accept such concepts like premarital sex. Even to them, that is too special and sacred an act.
If your desire is however to take up your cross, I would suggest the Anglican Church.
- It is a Sacramental, Traditional church just like the Vatican Church
- It has more subjects that are open to debate (homosexuality, etc)
Now, I'm going to warn you right now: we may be considered more "liberal," and even in a general case that is true when compared with the Vatican Church. However, even the liberal members of it will not accept some of your opinions as viable and we have conservative members too...quite a few.
My advice to you is to reflect on not what you want, but on what God wants. Christianity is about a struggle to accept His Will, not your will. It is the struggle to make God's Will, your will. And it is the struggle to follow God's Will, not simply accept it.
If you think you can do this, then enter into the Christian faith. If not, do not act rashly. God is patient. He will and can wait. He can tell that you are trying and He's probably pleased. Contemplate, ask, and question, and then, after you've gathered enough information, make your decision.
Now, a few quick other corrections:
To you (the OP), Tradition to both the Vatican Church and the Anglican Church is doctrine and dogma as well as discipline and devotion. Discipline and devotions are optional, but everyone must follow the doctrines and dogmas of these churches to be considered good members of them.
Letalis, we Anglicans
do have a defined belief system. I suggest you recheck your information (Catholic Answers isn't always the best place for all your needs).
) that like their Puritin forbears they simply dug deeply into the auterity of Paul. St. Paul often extols sobriety, modesty and simplicity as Christian qualitys. These things are certainly good, but when form replaces function holiness gets lost in strricture. The Puritan replaces the love of God with obdeidence to mandate. Living in this manner will help us avoid sin, but does it lead us to love our neighbor?
My problem exactly... 
