finding a decent guy

[Fatolia]

Everyone has to remember one simple, basic truth. Humility does not, nor has it ever, equate(d) to a lack of self-confidence or self-esteem. I am humble, but I also am very well aware of my self-worth. I do have a high self-esteem, and that's what sets me apart from the next person that grovels in the mud, wondering if any good can come of them or anything they do. "How will I ever find a (boy/girl)friend?" People like that need a good swift kick in the rear. They need to be told to stop feeling sorry for themselves and to hold their head up with some semblance of dignity and self-respect.

If it works for me, it can work for them.

Yes! High five bro!

 

[Singin4Him]

Before I met my husband I felt the same way, I was meeting all these guys who claimed to be Christians but treat me like garbage. Then I finally realized what I was doing wrong. The Lord told me to stop getting in the way and leave it to Him. God is the best matchmaker, we girls with our crazy emotions do horrible jobs when we don't consult the Lord and involve him in every single part of our life.

Girl, you don't need to be looking for a decent guy or even a good christian guy, you need to be praying for a GODLY MAN. There are to many good christian guys out there who still don't know how to treat a girl, but when a man is truly seeking after God and putting him first in his life that is when you will find a guy who treats you as Christ would have him treat you. Stop looking and allow god to work His will, don't get in the way.

The best thing you can do is pray your heart out and set your standards higher than ever. I totally respect your choice not to kiss until you get married, that's a very mature respectable standard to set for yourself. I know many people who did not kiss until they got married and they have some of the most godly marriages I've ever seen and in their dating life it was so obvious that they were completely Christ centered they did not have that physical aspect distracting them and causing temptation issues in their relationship. It so beautiful to witness two people sharing their first kiss together after they have been pronounced husband and wife. I totally respect that!

 

[Singin4Him]

Don't kid yourself. Just because you saved yourself for her and vice versa doesn't mean you're the first person she ever loved. I'll bet you that there are people in her life that she still has (strong) feelings for and still thinks about. If you think otherwise you're fooling yourself. Ask her about her past sometime and watch what pops up. You're not the first and you might not even be the last.

Doubtful, if they have a strong marriage centered around the Lord she's not thinking about anything other than the amazing blessing God gave her in her husband. I know this because my husband saved himself for me as did I for him, however I did have a few serious relationships and not even ONCE have I thought about any of those other guys. It's screwed up for a married woman to have strong feelings for another man, that's God says that is adulty. Yeah this happens in the world everyday but I can tell you as a Christian woman I am striving to glorify God in everything I do and that include my marriage and loving my husband to the fullest extent, meaning loving my husband and my husband ONLY.

Saving yourself for a woman is not the be all end all guarantee that you own that woman's heart, I promise you.

I disagree VERY STRONGLY with this, my husband absolutley won me over because out of respect for me he saved a sexual relationship for me, his wife. If that didn't win my heart nothing would. I guess you don't understand the sacredness of sex inside a Christ-centered marriage otherwise you would not have these views.

 

[SirKenin]

I hate to say this, but I've said it before and I'll say it again. If you truly loved, true love never dies (I feel compelled to spin that track again). If you say otherwise you're lying to yourself. Those feelings never go away, I don't care how hard you try. So, then, I would encourage you to evaluate just how serious those relationships really were.

 

[godgirl_aubs]

Put it this way,
I believe if we want to get the word out about the big guy, a good way is to go out with a guy who doesn't believe. Don't do it just to let him know about God, but because God wants you to and he is special. Every one deserves to know what the feeling is to be with God and to know he loves you and sent his only son just so our own souls had a chance. You never know, if the guy is hopeless, but there is enough love in him for you, there is always room to slip God into his life. Remember, There is ALWAYS HOPE!!

 

[SirKenin]

I totally respect your choice not to kiss until you get married, that's a very mature respectable standard to set for yourself. I know many people who did not kiss until they got married and they have some of the most godly marriages I've ever seen and in their dating life

Ummm, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but this is utter nonsense. Kissing before marriage has absolutely NO impact on a marriage and I can back this up with Christian and non-Christian marriages alike. I have no idea where people come up with this, but it's pure hogwash plain and simple. There's nothing to be respectful about, unless you are saluting a sure-fire way of turning guys off. It's not that they're that shallow that they can't handle no kissing. Rather, unless they're an extremist right-wing fundamentalist as yourself they'll think you've gone loopy and want nothing to do with you. Congratulations, you just threw away a relationship for fundamentalist dogma that has absolutely no basis in fact.

God did not decree no kissing or anything else of the sort. As a matter of fact, I've heard and made sound arguments that sex before marriage wasn't frowned upon either unless you're a fundy. Arguments against kissing are pure fundamentalist drivel. If you don't want to do it fine, but don't place the blame at God's feet. It's YOUR decision with absolutely no basis in fact. Proceed at your own folly, and look forward to guys thinking you're nothing but a fundamentalist wierdo and walking, running, in the other direction. I know for sure I would. I want absolutely nothing to do with extremist right-wing fundamentalism or even organized Christianity for that matter. They're more focused on dogma and nonsense than they are on the actual truth.

 

[SirKenin]

Put it this way,
I believe if we want to get the word out about the big guy, a good way is to go out with a guy who doesn't believe. Don't do it just to let him know about God, but because God wants you to and he is special. Every one deserves to know what the feeling is to be with God and to know he loves you and sent his only son just so our own souls had a chance. You never know, if the guy is hopeless, but there is enough love in him for you, there is always room to slip God into his life. Remember, There is ALWAYS HOPE!!

There is PLENTY of truth in this. My parents are living examples and they've been married for more than 35 years and still going strong. My dad happens to be a minister in Florida after teaching for 26 years in Hamilton. My mother was a non-Christian when they were married, raised Catholic but a non-believer.

 

[renaistre]

Ummm, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but this is utter nonsense. Kissing before marriage has absolutely NO impact on a marriage and I can back this up with Christian and non-Christian marriages alike. I have no idea where people come up with this, but it's pure hogwash plain and simple. There's nothing to be respectful about, unless you are saluting a sure-fire way of turning guys off. It's not that they're that shallow that they can't handle no kissing. Rather, unless they're an extremist right-wing fundamentalist as yourself they'll think you've gone loopy and want nothing to do with you. Congratulations, you just threw away a relationship for fundamentalist dogma that has absolutely no basis in fact.

God did not decree no kissing or anything else of the sort. As a matter of fact, I've heard and made sound arguments that sex before marriage wasn't frowned upon either unless you're a fundy. Arguments against kissing are pure fundamentalist drivel. If you don't want to do it fine, but don't place the blame at God's feet. It's YOUR decision with absolutely no basis in fact. Proceed at your own folly, and look forward to guys thinking you're nothing but a fundamentalist wierdo and walking, running, in the other direction. I know for sure I would. I want absolutely nothing to do with extremist right-wing fundamentalism or even organized Christianity for that matter. They're more focused on dogma and nonsense than they are on the actual truth.

This topic sure has taken some interesting turns.

OK, first of all, I must be a "extremist right-wing fundamentalist," and I must know dozens more. I wouldn't go to hell for kissing a girl before we were married, but it is simply somthing that I, and most of my friends, want to save in order to make it more special. It's not dogma. It's somthing that each of us evaluated for ourselves and made a choice on. And as evidence of that, some of my friends have chosen the other way. I just see kissing kind of like dessert. There's no rule that says it has to be at the end of the meal, but most people save it until then anyway.

More along the lines of the OP, what it comes down to is this: you have to know what you are looking for. To know that, you have to know what your own convictions are. Then you have to trust that God will help you find someone who shares your convictions.

I'm a little surprised that there haven't been more posts directly answering your question, swimmifish. But, at least in my neck of the woods (Southern California), it's not hard at all to find guys who would admire you, and even find you more attractive, for not wanting to "hook up," as you put it. The hard part is finding the right one.

 

[SirKenin]

I don't mind who my girl has kissed as long as she "saves the last dance for me" (The Drifters).

heh. Getting all worked up over a kiss. You'd almost think people have better things to do. Have you ever looked at another girl/guy and mentally drooled over them in some way? Then you committed lust, or adultery if you're married (and don't tell me you haven't, or I'll call your bluff). Lust/adultery is far worse than a kiss.

A kiss in no way violates the sanctity of marriage and I don't see how it's going to make that "magical moment" any more "magical" than it already is. "If any of you knows why this couple should not be wed let them speak now or forever hold their peace".. "They can't.. She *gasp* KISSED him" *cue sounds of horror from the audience.* Oh honey, this magical moment was brought to you by Kelloggs and my "no kiss" policy". Hah. For some reason that sounds almost ludicrous.

Praying for God to throw someone at your feet is equally ludicrous. "God's matchmaking service, may I help you?" "Yes, I'd like a buxom blonde, 5'5" that will grovel at my feet, share my ideals and adores the thought of saving a kiss until marriage please." *silence* "Is this some kind of joke?"

I do not believe that marriage is mandated to begin with. I certainly don't believe that God is our matchmaking service. I believe we are required to use our own intelligence, wisdom and discernment to find the partner that's right for us. Look at all the non-Christian and "unequally yolked" *snort* marriages that work. Do you mean to tell me God threw those together for something to do? Maybe they just happened by chance? Come on people. I don't mean to be cynical here, but... I believe God to be a powerful God, yes, but I also believe that God only helps those that help themselves.

Get out of your rut, get off your rear and make something of yourself. Stack your house of cards. Then, and only then, will men/women be attracted to you and you can take your pick using good old common sense. It's not prayer that's going to throw that magic someone at your feet. Anyone that thinks that is deluding themselves and anyone that tries to convince you of same is trying to delude you as well. If anything the Bible will give you direction, but it has very little to say about the type of relationship to pursue (and being unequally yoked has absolutely nothing to do with marital relations).

If you're waiting for someone to be thrown at you, no wonder you're still single. You'll be waiting a long time. Just because Mr. or Mrs. Right may happen to come along does not mean it's an act of God either. It actually means you've got your house in order and your aura is attracting the right kind of person. It has everything to do with YOU. No finger pointing here please.

heh. I amuse myself sometimes.

 

[SirKenin]

By the way I'm going to add that I do speak from experience as I always do when I comment on things like this. I've walked this walk. I've talked this talk. I have quite literally walked a mile in your shoes. I have studied related issues in the Bible, through concordances, lexicons, dictionaries and commentaries. I have been married for ten years. I have had many relationships (and some intriguing ones at that. My last one was a ground breaker in achieving personal insight and understanding). As a matter of fact as I look back on it every single woman came into my life for a reason. I even attracted different types of women during each stage of my personal growth.

This time around I had my pick of women and several more that just wanted something casual. I hope I chose wisely, and so far after my extensive "interrogation" you can call it it appears that I might be on the right track. Time will tell. I think I'll even include a couple of pictures because I feel quite blessed for having her at my side.

I have chosen poorly in the past, this is true, but each one of those relationships chalked up to one key thing in the end. They all gave me experience. They gave me additional knowledge, wisdom and discernment. They have all set me on a course that much closer to success. I may not have it down to a science but I am a lot further off than I was at the beginning of my trek. I have learned so much about myself and others that I feel blessed just having each one of them in my life, no matter how much of a nuisance they turned out to be. I will never know everything there is to learn about women, myself or my lifestyle, but now I feel comfortable sharing my experiences and learning with others.

/end self promotion.

 

[Southern Cross]

Dr Feelgood, I'm curious. If I'm interpreting some of your posts correctly,, you seem to feel that it's ok to go to bed with women before marriage, you go from relationship to relationship, and you frown upon fundamental Christian values and you deliver hardline stances on a more liberal lifestyle when it comes to relationships. So I've got to ask you - as good a person as you may be - why do you post in the Christian Forums when your lifestyle seems to be no different from that of anyone else who does not believe Christ? Please tell me if I'm wrong, maybe I'm interpreting things incorrectly. You write very well, and very persuasively, but you seem to live a different life than we are led to live in Christ. Are you a born again Christian? Have you accepted Christ into your heart? Do you feel that premarital sex is wrong for you and anyone else here? I'd just like to know where you are coming from so I can make more sense of your posts.

RENAISTRE - excellent posts. While not all would agree with you on the kissing/dating thing, I have a great deal of respect for anyone who is willing to maintain that level of purity before marriage.

 

[MrDude]

I don't mind who my girl has kissed as long as she "saves the last dance for me" (The Drifters).

heh. Getting all worked up over a kiss. You'd almost think people have better things to do. Have you ever looked at another girl/guy and mentally drooled over them in some way? Then you committed lust, or adultery if you're married (and don't tell me you haven't, or I'll call your bluff). Lust/adultery is far worse than a kiss.

A kiss in no way violates the sanctity of marriage and I don't see how it's going to make that "magical moment" any more "magical" than it already is. "If any of you knows why this couple should not be wed let them speak now or forever hold their peace".. "They can't.. She *gasp* KISSED him" *cue sounds of horror from the audience.* Oh honey, this magical moment was brought to you by Kelloggs and my "no kiss" policy". Hah. For some reason that sounds almost ludicrous.

Praying for God to throw someone at your feet is equally ludicrous. "God's matchmaking service, may I help you?" "Yes, I'd like a buxom blonde, 5'5" that will grovel at my feet, share my ideals and adores the thought of saving a kiss until marriage please." *silence* "Is this some kind of joke?"

I do not believe that marriage is mandated to begin with. I certainly don't believe that God is our matchmaking service. I believe we are required to use our own intelligence, wisdom and discernment to find the partner that's right for us. Look at all the non-Christian and "unequally yolked" *snort* marriages that work. Do you mean to tell me God threw those together for something to do? Maybe they just happened by chance? Come on people. I don't mean to be cynical here, but... I believe God to be a powerful God, yes, but I also believe that God only helps those that help themselves.

Get out of your rut, get off your rear and make something of yourself. Stack your house of cards. Then, and only then, will men/women be attracted to you and you can take your pick using good old common sense. It's not prayer that's going to throw that magic someone at your feet. Anyone that thinks that is deluding themselves and anyone that tries to convince you of same is trying to delude you as well. If anything the Bible will give you direction, but it has very little to say about the type of relationship to pursue (and being unequally yoked has absolutely nothing to do with marital relations).

If you're waiting for someone to be thrown at you, no wonder you're still single. You'll be waiting a long time. Just because Mr. or Mrs. Right may happen to come along does not mean it's an act of God either. It actually means you've got your house in order and your aura is attracting the right kind of person. It has everything to do with YOU. No finger pointing here please.

heh. I amuse myself sometimes.

Oh my God, FINALLY somebody else gets it.

 

[renaistre]

I don't mind who my girl has kissed as long as she "saves the last dance for me" (The Drifters).

Good for you. That's your choice. I do mind.

heh. Getting all worked up over a kiss. You'd almost think people have better things to do. Have you ever looked at another girl/guy and mentally drooled over them in some way? Then you committed lust, or adultery if you're married (and don't tell me you haven't, or I'll call your bluff). Lust/adultery is far worse than a kiss.

I agree with you there. Yes, I have committed lust. It is wrong, and I try not to do it. Kissing isn't necissarily wrong, but I prefer to wait.

A kiss in no way violates the sanctity of marriage and I don't see how it's going to make that "magical moment" any more "magical" than it already is. "If any of you knows why this couple should not be wed let them speak now or forever hold their peace".. "They can't.. She *gasp* KISSED him" *cue sounds of horror from the audience.* Oh honey, this magical moment was brought to you by Kelloggs and my "no kiss" policy". Hah. For some reason that sounds almost ludicrous.

First, I didn't say that a kiss violates the sanctity of marriage. I said that I have chosen to wait. Those are two completely different things. Second, it does make the "magical moment" more magical, and there is scientific as well as anecdotal evidence to back that up. The pleasure that you feel from a kiss comes from stimulation in your brain. Each time you kiss though, the stimulation that your brain feels decreases. So the first time does have the potential to the most special.

Aside from that, I want to be able to say to my future wife that she is the only girl I've kissed. It's not a big deal. In fact, it actually sounds a little silly, even to me. But that's how a lot of romatic stuff is. And personally, I wouldn't want to marry a girl who didn't value that.

Praying for God to throw someone at your feet is equally ludicrous. "God's matchmaking service, may I help you?" "Yes, I'd like a buxom blonde, 5'5" that will grovel at my feet, share my ideals and adores the thought of saving a kiss until marriage please." *silence* "Is this some kind of joke?"

I'm not praying for God to throw someone at my feet. In fact, I made a point of saying before that we should trust (and pray) that God will help us to find said person. We still have to do our part in the search.

I do not believe that marriage is mandated to begin with.

Genesis 2:24: "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."

I certainly don't believe that God is our matchmaking service. I believe we are required to use our own intelligence, wisdom and discernment to find the partner that's right for us.

I agree with you there.

Look at all the non-Christian and "unequally yolked" *snort* marriages that work. Do you mean to tell me God threw those together for something to do? Maybe they just happened by chance? Come on people. I don't mean to be cynical here, but... I believe God to be a powerful God, yes, but I also believe that God only helps those that help themselves.

I have honestly seen a lot more "unequally yolked" marriages fall apart than those that work.

Get out of your rut, get off your rear and make something of yourself. Stack your house of cards. Then, and only then, will men/women be attracted to you and you can take your pick using good old common sense. It's not prayer that's going to throw that magic someone at your feet. Anyone that thinks that is deluding themselves and anyone that tries to convince you of same is trying to delude you as well. If anything the Bible will give you direction, but it has very little to say about the type of relationship to pursue (and being unequally yoked has absolutely nothing to do with marital relations).

If you're waiting for someone to be thrown at you, no wonder you're still single. You'll be waiting a long time. Just because Mr. or Mrs. Right may happen to come along does not mean it's an act of God either. It actually means you've got your house in order and your aura is attracting the right kind of person. It has everything to do with YOU. No finger pointing here please.

You are saying this without knowing much about me. First of all, who said anything about finger pointing, or blaming God, or even that I don't want to be single right now?

Right now I'm "getting my house in order," as you say. I don't need the distraction of a girlfriend, as nice as it might be, while I'm going to college, working to pay for college, and staying heavily involved with my family and church. I might be getting close to the time, but I know that I'm not ready yet. So I'm not complaining.

...I have quite literally walked a mile in your shoes...

Uh, no. I don't think so. Don't say that without knowing more about me. A LOT more.

Here's the deal. I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life. But it's obvious that we have very different ways of thinking, and very different things about a girl that attract us. That's actually good, because it means we'll never be in competition over the some girl, and it sounds like I would almost certainly loose.

I'm happy with my situation right now, and I know that when I am ready for a wife, I'll find one. Believe it or not, I already know several girls who share my values, and over my lifetime, I've met many. I only need one, so I think I'll be ok.

 

[SirKenin]

Genesis 2:24: "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."

Do you know what becoming one flesh means? It does not mean getting married in a church per se I'm very familiar with the verse.

Right now I'm "getting my house in order," as you say. I don't need the distraction of a girlfriend, as nice as it might be, while I'm going to college, working to pay for college, and staying heavily involved with my family and church. I might be getting close to the time, but I know that I'm not ready yet. So I'm not complaining.

Glad to hear this You are on the right track then.

Here's the deal. I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life. But it's obvious that we have very different ways of thinking, and very different things about a girl that attract us. That's actually good, because it means we'll never be in competition over the some girl, and it sounds like I would almost certainly loose.

lol This gave me a good chuckle.

I believe I have walked a mile in your shoes. Although the circumstances might not be identical, I've walked down this girlfriend/wife path for many years.

 

[SirKenin]

Dr Feelgood, I'm curious. If I'm interpreting some of your posts correctly,, you seem to feel that it's ok to go to bed with women before marriage, you go from relationship to relationship, and you frown upon fundamental Christian values and you deliver hardline stances on a more liberal lifestyle when it comes to relationships. So I've got to ask you - as good a person as you may be - why do you post in the Christian Forums when your lifestyle seems to be no different from that of anyone else who does not believe Christ? Please tell me if I'm wrong, maybe I'm interpreting things incorrectly. You write very well, and very persuasively, but you seem to live a different life than we are led to live in Christ. Are you a born again Christian? Have you accepted Christ into your heart? Do you feel that premarital sex is wrong for you and anyone else here? I'd just like to know where you are coming from so I can make more sense of your posts.

RENAISTRE - excellent posts. While not all would agree with you on the kissing/dating thing, I have a great deal of respect for anyone who is willing to maintain that level of purity before marriage.

Hai, and thank you for writing to the Dr. Feelgood Times. In response to your questions, are you actually questioning my Christianity, contrary to the forum rules? You wouldn't do a thing like that would you?

However, I'll answer your question, even though it is in my profile and on my webpage. I have been a born again Christian for 22 years. I was raised as a right wing fundamentalist Christian in the Associated Gospel Churches of Canada, went to a Christian school, being an honor student every year (second in my class each year) for my entire junior school life and I was baptized in 1985. I admit I became a Christian for all the wrong reasons and I turned my back on God when I was 17. For years I wanted nothing to do with Him and involved myself in every evil indiscretion I could possibly think of, from traffic violations to heavy drug abuse to wild parties and sex to throwing rocks through peoples windows. I ended up with a lengthy youth criminal record and even ended up in a medium security prison before being released on bail.

I revisited Christ a few years ago and bounced back and forth depending on my moods. I finally decided that I was going to research the Christian faith for myself and not allow organized religion, fundamentalism or dogma to dictate the rules to me. There was something missing and I was determined to find out what it was. So, to that end I dug out Strong's Concordance, Thayer's Lexicon, Stephens Textus Receptus, a Bible Dictionary and some commentaries, Matthew Henry being my favorite.

I quickly discovered that many of the fundamentalist beliefs were nothing but bunk based in myths, something I have suspected for some time. In particular I discovered some grievous errors in regard to relationships. Marriage is one of them, dating the other. I have posted some lengthy exegesis' on this message board, highlighting these errors and what makes them erroneous.

You are being led to BELIEVE that you are led this way to live in Christ. However, there is no Biblical fact to back you up. The fundies rely as much on dogma, or more so, than they do on actual facts. My position is not left wing. It is not overly liberal. I am a centrist actually. I believe in ascertaining the facts for myself, not being a pushover, being yet another domino in organized religion's game.

I am not to sure where I stand on the premarital sex issue. That's a grey area when you actually get down and study the original text. Fornication was actually not discussing sex before marriage, it was discussing prostitution. The sex before marriage definition was a mistranslation in the King James Bible transferred over to several other translations after that.

I do hop from relationship to relationship, although my marriage lasted for ten years before I destroyed it with who I am. Other relationships have lasted over a year, some of them 6-8 months. I have destroyed some of them, some of them weren't my fault. I see nothing wrong with that. I make them last as long as I can and when they fall apart I just move on to the next one. That's how I learn. As crummy as some of the relationships were, the learning experience was worth it's weight in gold. I have no problems finding another girlfriend. Several of them have simply come up to me. My current girlfriend had a crush on me long before I ever figured it out.

My lifestyle is far more unusual than you might imagine. However, I'm not anti-Christian. I'm anything but. Again, I'll clearly define my stance. I'm anti-organized religion and anti-fundamentalism. I very clearly believe in searching the Word for yourself, which is exactly what the Bible instructs us to do. Am I an avid church goer? No, I certainly am not, although I do like my Baptist Church when I do go. It's the best I've found so far in my search for a decent church. The pastor seems more down to earth than most and pulls a little more to the center than Baptist convention would allow. My father is also a centrist minister and can back up a lot of what I say.

I do not say all these things just because I feel the need to hear myself speak. Believe it or not I can find better things to do with my time. I say them because I know what I'm talking about and I want to help people. I have done the leg work and feel comfortable with my presentation. That's how I manage to speak persuasively because I've actually done my research as opposed to sitting in a church pew with a dumbfounded look on my face, hypnotically nodding my head. I am extremely intelligent, have more than sufficient methods of expression and am thus able to present my case.

If challenging conventional "wisdom" makes me anti-Christian, then shoot me now and put me out of my bliss.

I would encourage you, rather than let the master of puppets pull your strings, start doing your own indepth research. Start with the original Greek and read, read, read. Focusing on a particular translation is foolhardy and guaranteed to lead you down the proverbial garden path.

"The master of puppets I'm pulling your strings.. Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams" \m/

 

[SirKenin]

Oh, renaistre. One more thing. There is one thing I got out of your post and I want to reinforce this. Hammer it home. Above all Believe in yourself.

 

[renaistre]

Oh, renaistre. One more thing. There is one thing I got out of your post and I want to reinforce this. Hammer it home. Above all Believe in yourself.

Sure. I do believe in myself. I also believe this:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowlege Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes..." Proverbs 3:5-7

I know myself pretty well, and I know that I'm not intellegent or good enough to ignore these verses. I believe in God above all.

I have yet to be shown any scriptures (in any translation) that indicate that I shouldn't wait to kiss, or want to find a girl that shares my convictions, or, most of all, that I shouldn't pray for and expect God's help in finding her.

 

[SirKenin]

Sure. I do believe in myself. I also believe this:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowlege Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes..." Proverbs 3:5-7

Yes. Too many people abuse this verse as an excuse to sit on their duff and do nothing, hoping God is going to flop that magical girl in that lap and say "Here I am baby. Take me".

There is nothing wrong with consulting God and the Bible for wisdom, especially when you think you've found Miss Right. A wise man always does this. But an equally wise man uses his head for something besides a hair farm. As a matter of fact, Proverbs gives you the wisdom to know what to look for in a woman. The answer isn't going to flop in your lap. The answer is in the Bible in black and white. You have the tools. It's now your duty to properly utilize that data.

I know myself pretty well, and I know that I'm not intellegent or good enough to ignore these verses. I believe in God above all.

Then use what it is saying, get off your duff and do something about it. Moaning and groaning about how one is going to find the right partner and fretting over something as senseless as when you kiss (which only serves to limit your options dramatically and really doesn't help your case) isn't going to get you anywhere. Those that have wisdom and discernment are going to be stepping on your head while you're grovelling in the mud feeling sorry for yourself with this dumbfounded look on your face, blaming God for not throwing someone at you.

I have yet to be shown any scriptures (in any translation) that indicate that I shouldn't wait to kiss, or want to find a girl that shares my convictions, or, most of all, that I shouldn't pray for and expect God's help in finding her.

That's because they don't exist. It's just stupidity in my eyes. Whatever floats your boat and turns your crank. Don't try and blame it all on the Bible and say "well the Bible doesn't say not to". The Bible doesn't tell Gentiles not to eat cows, but there are those that take it upon themselves to worship them rather than eat them. That doesn't make it right. It just means all the more steak for me. The Bible doesn't mandate every little detail about a relationship for very good reason. You are expected to use your head for something besides a hat rack.

God uses the Bible to speak to you. Your conscience will also speak to you if you have done your research. The Holy Spirit will knock at your door. You are expected to go out and find yourself a woman. What do you think God is? Your matchmaking service? Are you going to sit there, cry and suck your thumb because God didn't throw someone at you? Because that's what's going to happen.

People like to attribute this magical connection to God throwing someone at them, but that isn't the way it works at all. You make the connection yourself and attract them to you with your aura. Non-christian marriages stand testimony to this very simple truth. It's all within you. The very same people blame God when it doesn't happen and say "But you said in Proverbs. It's all your fault". This is pathetic. It's not God's fault. It's your fault for not having your life in order. Time to take responsibility for your own actions and stop trying to pawn them off on everybody else.

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

*MOD HAT ON*

Ok guys, I am keeping an eye out on this thread. Its starting to turn into a flat out flame war, and I will not stand for it.
If this behavior dosent stop I will have to close the thread

*MOD HAT OFF*

 

[SirKenin]

I'm out myself unless some new, fresh ideas pop up. I think I've said what I can. No sense reiterating it.