finding a decent guy

[swimmifish]

'

 

[sweetmercy]

I think that it depends on where you're meeting these guys. For instance, if you meet a guy at church or while involved in the same ministry together, the chances of him having integrity are much greater. Not always, of course, but USUALLY. Also, make a rule for yourself to only date Christian guys (if you haven't already) so that you know where the guy stands on those issues.

Good luck and God bless
Jen

 

[SirKenin]

I have been told by women that are attracted to me that I am quite unusual and there are very few people like me. So, although there might be lots of fish in the sea, there appear to be few decent ones evidently. I don't say this to toot my own horn. I say this with selfconfidence that has been afforded to me by many people reinforcing this concept until I finally believed in myself.

I can tell you how to attract me and thus presumably attract others like me. You have to emit positive energy. I want to feel a positive aura surrounding you. I don't want you feeling down on yourself. I don't like insecurity and jealousy. I won't put up with that or head games. I don't want you lugging this huge pile of baggage along behind you. I want to see a radiance surrounding the person. I want to see someone who is intelligent, witty, well groomed, submissive, confident in themselves and able to stand on their own two feet in life by having a job, etc. I want to see a lady I'm dating show initiative in their desire to please me. If I can't have them, I'd sooner be single.

It's easy to find people to jump into bed with. I can name you several off the top of my head. That's not what I want though. I want a real woman that can treat me the way I deserve to be treated. That can spoil me and meet my needs. Then in turn I desire to treat her like the Queen of England and take her to a level she's never experienced before. Pushing her limits is one thing I'm good at.

Negative energy only attracts negative energy and repels positive energy. If you fish in the negativity pool the only fish you're going to catch are jerks.

Your face and body might say "I'm the catch of the day", but your aura and energy will subconsciously betray you each and every time, I promise you.

 

[SirKenin]

Oh, I wanted to add. How you dress and how you smell goes a LOOONG way. Don't dress like you shop out of the donation bin behind the Salvation Army, and invest in some scent such as Alfred Sung Shei or something. Believe me it goes a long way.

Again, and I can't emphasize this enough, where are you fishing? Where you fish determines the fish you catch. What kind of fish will you expect to catch in a pool hall? A bar? At the bus terminal? At a dance club? And what kind of fish will you expect to catch in a church? At a church event?

See what I'm saying?

 

[renaistre]

I have been told by women that are attracted to me that I am quite unusual and there are very few people like me ...

Well, I've been told that I am quite unusual and there are very few people like me. Hmm, somthing's missing.

Couldn't resist.

I am, at least in one way, what you are looking for. I too want my first kiss to be on my wedding day. But chances are very good that I'm not at all what you are looking for in other ways. So the question is, am I the only guy that has these principles? The answer is: definately not. I'll give you some examples of where you could find some friends of mine that feel the same way.

One is a criminal justice major and is trying to get into the Coast Guard to fly helicopters. An other is a part-time cowboy. An other plays guitar in a family band and can be found at various folk music festivals. A few are attending a local Christian collage. An other is working for a company that designs things like high-rise offices. Yet an other works in animal feeding research, I think.

My point is that they are out there. They might be harder to find than your average guy, but they are out there.

 

[invisiblebabe]

Don't dress like you shop out of the donation bin behind the Salvation Army

Just a note... I often shop at thrift stores.... and I am blessed with a TON of brand name clothes... GAP, Old Navy, The Limited, Ralph Lauren, Guess... certainly not your stereotypical "thrift store clothes," but certainly quite affordable for a college girl!

God bless

 

[invisiblebabe]

Well, I've been told that I am quite unusual and there are very few people like me. Hmm, somthing's missing.

Couldn't resist.

You'll find her. My guess though is that you're a rare type and thus need a rare type of girl... so it takes awhile. (I am quite an odd one, and it took me awhile to find my guy )

Perhaps we INTJ's should get moving on banding together and taking over the world.... and our first task can be finding you a future wife

 

[SirKenin]

Just a note... I often shop at thrift stores.... and I am blessed with a TON of brand name clothes... GAP, Old Navy, The Limited, Ralph Lauren, Guess... certainly not your stereotypical "thrift store clothes," but certainly quite affordable for a college girl!

God bless

I think you know what I meant

 

[SirKenin]

Well, I've been told that I am quite unusual and there are very few people like me. Hmm, somthing's missing.

lol. I think the idea is my charisma, charm, what I believe in, the intelligence and wisdom I possess, the lifestyle I live and how I treat women with respect and dignity. Most men are out for one thing and one thing only or they have no clue how to treat a woman. Plain, boring and mundane is not my thing. I am not your ordinary average bear, no matter how I might appear on here.

I might be eccentric with ecclectic interests, but I have no troubles finding girlfriends.

 

[renaistre]

...Perhaps we INTJ's should get moving on banding together and taking over the world.... and our first task can be finding you a future wife

Sounds good. Especially the taking over the world part. Maybe we can start by taking over this thread.

On the other hand, that wouldn't be very nice to swimmifish. I guess our rise to power will just have to wait.

 

[Fatolia]

INTJ's RULE!!! So, yes, invisiblebabe, gather all your INTJ gals together and we'll go out for a "party" (ie. we go to the park pretending like we're having fun but in reality have our maps in our pockets, ready with our separate military divisions. mwahaha) Christian INTJ girls are RARE. I think I may have met two or three single Christ-believing INTJs in my day (in real life), and probably met one or two INFJs...and this is coming from experience with a LOT of wonderful Christian single women.

 

[CtYankee]

OK …. Somebody’s gotta do it. I’ll volunteer on behalf of (I suspect) many others.



I think this might cost me any good will I might have on this forum and I’m willing to forfeit it for a good cause.



drfeelgood … do you have any other patients other than drfeelgood?



I pause for so long before hitting the "submit reply" button.

 

[SirKenin]

drfeelgood … do you have any other patients other than drfeelgood?

I don't get it?

 

[CtYankee]

I'm glad you don't get it because I regret that I posted it. I am sorry to you and to any one offended. Because it was offensive.

I'm working on it.

 

[red_head_4ever]

Maybe it was offensive to others, but there is at least a small point in what you said. All of us need a peice of humble pie once in a while.

 

[SirKenin]

I'm glad you don't get it because I regret that I posted it. I am sorry to you and to any one offended. Because it was offensive.

I'm working on it.

haha. Oh. Well, I missed it. No worries. Needless to say I didn't find it offensive so you have no need to apologize. I don't care what people think of me. They can think whatever they want. They aren't in my bed. It is very clear to me that the people that actually matter don't seem to mind the way I am.

Everyone has to remember one simple, basic truth. Humility does not, nor has it ever, equate(d) to a lack of self-confidence or self-esteem. I am humble, but I also am very well aware of my self-worth. I do have a high self-esteem, and that's what sets me apart from the next person that grovels in the mud, wondering if any good can come of them or anything they do. "How will I ever find a (boy/girl)friend?" People like that need a good swift kick in the rear. They need to be told to stop feeling sorry for themselves and to hold their head up with some semblance of dignity and self-respect.

If it works for me, it can work for them.

 

[CtYankee]

Was it hard to find a guy who's okay with not hooking up before marriage? It seems that way to me...

I was “that” guy and I must say it took a lot of discipline for me and her. Youth is youth and hormones do tend to act up. Early on (young teenage) I must admit I lost a couple of girl friends due to me not being aggressive in that department. How do I know? I suffered the embarrassment of being told about it by the guy next in line. Still, I was taught the concept of respect by my father. It was not even a “sin issue”, it was plain respect. Avoiding even slight accidents was difficult.

Not only is it worth it to you to wait and hold your ground, it is worth it to both of you no matter how raging the urges may be. Just think how much he must love you to make such a sacrifice for you at such a young age. Think of it as a precious gift to each other. You are saying to each other “we will avoid the raging natural temptations to insure our love in the future”!

 

[SirKenin]

How do you figure that lack of sex equates to future love? I had sex with my wife until she fell over. It does not mean that I loved her, nor has it in any way stopped me from loving future partners, and loving them deeply. Mind you, I also believe in common law marriages, and for that some people think I'm teh debil.

I think that the whole thing is a grand misconception personally, having walked in those shoes.

 

[CtYankee]

How do you figure that lack of sex equates to future love? I had sex with my wife until she fell over. It does not mean that I loved her, nor has it in any way stopped me from loving future partners, and loving them deeply. Mind you, I also believe in common law marriages, and for that some people think I'm teh debil.

I think that the whole thing is a grand misconception personally, having walked in those shoes.

Actually I loved my wife before I met her. That's the point. We have been true to each other for ever and ever. Who taught your wife? Does he still love her? Are you sure? Does she love him? Do you ever wonder? Are you distracted? Is she? Is she the most beautiful you have ever seen? Touched? Are you to her? Who does she think about? You? Him? Both? Doubts?

 

[SirKenin]

Don't kid yourself. Just because you saved yourself for her and vice versa doesn't mean you're the first person she ever loved. I'll bet you that there are people in her life that she still has (strong) feelings for and still thinks about. If you think otherwise you're fooling yourself. Ask her about her past sometime and watch what pops up. You're not the first and you might not even be the last. Saving yourself for a woman is not the be all end all guarantee that you own that woman's heart, I promise you.