Finally know what's going on/correct diagnosis

[Emerald518]

Avoidant Personality Disorder, and it's likely I've had it all my life.

I was diagnosed with anxiety/social phobia/depression when I was very young and back in 2017, PTSD from a combination of childhood emotional/physical abuse as well as spiritual abuse from a church I was in for two years. But despite these diagnoses, I always felt like there was "something else".

It was thought that I may be on the autism spectrum/have a touch of Asperger's, but no professional agreed with that. Now that I read more about this, it ALL fits....the innate feeling that I'm somehow different on a fundamental level and inferior, the perfectionism, social awkwardness, always feeling like I'm being judged by people/God and am about to be punished for some wrongdoing, inability to see "gray" areas or believe anything other than the negative, catastrophic thinking, exaggerating potential problems....I feel relieved. Working on finding the proper treatment to help get this under control.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

The bible talks about renewing your mind. God has many promises, and His thoughts toward us are for good. As an example the bible says "delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart".

I am sure one of your desires is to feel more acceptance, both from God, and others. God is always willing to let you know His positive thoughts toward you. He wants to encourage you and strengthen your heart.

Psa 31:24 Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.

I would really encourage you to daily, seek the LORD to know those positive thoughts He has for you.