Fill-In-The-Blank Game!

[Sam91]

Doctor Sphinx, who had been somewhat out of it for some time, given the knock-out gas adminstered by his friend @DavidFirth, and the censoring he had experienced on another thread for his somewhat radical views ("in a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act"), suddenly came out of his trance.

"Wait... What..?" he spoke suddenly.
"Doctor Sphinx, you're still alive!" exclaimed @Sam91 somewhat disappointedly, as the date from which her museum of taxidermy would be able to boast an authentic Sphinx seemed to have been postponed, once again.
"And the wait doesn't seem to have made any difference to your waist-line" observed @Ancient of Days, a little less than tactfully.
"You know he has still been talking" commented @LaSorcia, "although, mercifully, in smaller doses", she observed.
"The mouth moved, yes, the words came, but the soul was absent" explained Sam91 wisely.
"You can tell by the eyes. But he's back now..." she admitted sadly.
"See how the pupils are once again visible?"
"Visit the Queen Elizabeth II rather than mermaids?!?" Doctor Sphinx continued, "Are you people out of your minds? Have you absolutely no sense of appreciation for the natural aesthetic beauty of the ladies of the sea?"

Sam91 seized the opportunity to dish out her favourite advice... "Dr S, it is wonderful to see you back with us. I still think that you ought to gouge out thine own eyes!"

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

Sam91 seized the opportunity to dish out her favourite advice... "Dr S, it is wonderful to see you back with us. I still think that you ought to gouge out thine own eyes!"

"Samantha!" the doctor chided.
"Sam91" corrected the other.
"Samantha, don't you think the gouging of one's eyes is a little extreme?" continued the doctor.
"Isn't it biblical?" she replied.
"Well, wasn't it only the right eye, and only if it caused one to sin?" asked the doctor.

 

[Sam91]

'Okay, I agree. Thou shalt gouge out only thine right eye instead of yearning to see these naked ladies of the sea' she conceded amiably

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

"Are the mermaids naked?" the doctor asked in a shocked voice, feigning innocence.
"And technically speaking", he added, "Are they really ladies?"

 

[Sam91]

'Does it matter? It is still lusts of the eyes!'

'That is quite enough Samantha' said @christine40 'Sphinx has been back with us for such a short time and you're haranguing him already. Deal with that log in your own eye Sam91 and leave him be!'

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

"No, no, @christine40" defended Doctor Sphinx.

"@Sam91 is right. There is sometimes a fine line between appreciation of natural beauty and lust, and Sam91's advice was wise, given the danger of the latter".

"Remember Matthew 5:28 - 30" he continued, reading from a KJV bible which someone (probably @Ancient of Days, had left lying around.

"But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell."

The Doctor nodded approvingly, although still a little disturbed about the preventive measure @Sam91 had recommended.

"I guess then, we're off to see the Queen Elizabeth II afterall?" he asked, a little disappointedly.

"But, while we're on this topic," he interrupted himself "we didn't get to properly finish our previous discussion on verses 17 - 18. Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled."

 

[Sam91]

@Sam91 looked around smugly at the group... another sign that she was becoming quite pharisaical again.

The group set off excitedly... @*LILAC wondering which Queen Elizabeth the II they were to see. The boat or person? Time would reveal all and that was one fruit that she had had in abundance, patience

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

"Wait a minute, patience is not a fruit", Doctor Sphinx's perhaps too-familiar voice interrupted @*LILAC's thoughts.

"Hey, how can you know what I'm thinking?" demanded Lilac indignantly.

"Never mind that, I'm a doctor, but be that as it may, patience is still not a fruit."

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another. Galatians 5:22 - 26" @Sam91 quoted from the ESV, with a pleased expression on her face.

"Well done Samantha" commended Doctor Sphinx approvingly.

"Sam91" corrected Sam91, who also might have rolled her eyes this time at the Doctor's deliberate misuse of her name.

"Anyway, you'll note in the passage that the scripture mentions fruit singular, not fruits plural, indicating that the fruit of the spirit includes all the characteristics described..." lectured Doctor Sphinx.

@DavidFirth started to yawn, and @LaSorcia posted social greetings on the good doctor's profile page to try to distract him from preaching another lengthy sermon. @gennypearl's heartbeat slowed down to a rate of almost zero.

"And," continued Doctor Sphinx, wondering secretly to himself whether it was grammatically acceptable with the hoi polloi these days to start a sentence with an Oxford comma, "as you have quoted from Galatians, I have some doubts about whether you really are becoming pharisaical at all..."

Like an expert Texas Hold 'Em player, Sam91 didn't give any visual indication of surprise that the doctor may have secretly been reading, perhaps even editing, improving and correcting the grammatical mistakes in, her thoughts.

"So what's it to be?" interrupted LaSorcia.

"Queen Elizabeth II the lady, or Queen Elizabeth II the ship"?

 

[Sam91]

Sam91 delved into her bag, rifling through a vast array of yarmulkes. She had a multipack, unopened, just for this moment. She'd been paranoid for years that people might be able to read minds and her thoughts were too private to share with someone as infuriatingly, infuriating as the ruggedly, handsome Doctor Sphinx.

'Here @*LILAC , wear this. He won't be able to invade your mind with this yarmulke. Who knows what little facts he'll steal in order to look smart?'

Sam91 launched into a mental tirade against the good doctor. She was going to enjoy herself before donning her yarmulke.

Up ahead @DavidFirth had noticed...

 

[DavidFirth]

that we were nearing the ocean at Shanghai. Just then, he said, Hey, who Shanghaied my ribs? He gave @christine40 the Evil Eye and further said, Well, do you at least have some hot dogs? I'll settle for sweet and sour chicken...

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

But it was not to be. @christine40 dutifully brought @DavidFirth the seafood lettuce salad, which was the nourishment DavidFirth had demanded, but most certainly far more healthy than tasty. However, before DavidFirth could so much as utter a word of complaint, he became distracted by Doctor Sphinx's peculiar behaviour. That is to say, Doctor Sphinx's behaviour was at most times peculiar, but on this occasion, was a particularly extreme of peculiar DavidFirth had not before witnessed from the good Doctor.

Doctor Sphinx was taking deep breaths, and was hurriedly searching through his own rucksack for a yarmulke of ebrocation against well-deserved but nonetheless traumatic mental tirades. He cast a sheepish but weary eye in the general direction of @Sam91, and breathed out a sigh of relief when he saw that she had now donned her tinfoil yarmulke of protection-against-intrusive-mental-eavesdroppers.

"No more correcting of poor grammar for you" he thought to himself self-righteously.

"None needed in the first place", was the unexpected, mental response.

It was at this moment that @*LILAC let out a shout of surprise and delight.

"Mermaids!" she exclaimed, "Mermaids to the starboard side!"

The members of the CF crew rushed to see the beautiful creatures frolicking in the ocean, their shiny scales glistening every colour of the rainbow, their long hair flowing.

The @GreenWizard - perhaps because the mermaids' alluring tails and long, flowing hair reminded him of his own rainbow - stood staring, open mouthed.

"Never expected to see mermaids this close to Shanghai" commented DavidFirth gruffly, without averting his gaze.

"I can't see what's so special about them" commented @LaSorcia indignantly, "It's little wonder sailors often mistake them for manatees".

Doctor Sphinx put his hand on the GreenWizard's shoulder, just in time to prevent him climbing overboard and joining the mermaids in the water.

"You do know what mermaids eat, old chap, don't you?" the doctor asked the somewhat mentally impaired leprechaun.

It was at that moment that Sam91 arrived on the starboard side - wearing her yarmulke of painful-but-spiritually-beneficial-minor-surgery, looking most sternly at all members of the group, and in particular the GreenWizard - her sharpened, orbital exenteration tool in one hand, her medium-sized, portable guillotine in the other, her bible open to the fateful verse in Matthew chapter 5...

 

[Sam91]

(Oh I can't post, that is far too funny!)

 

[DavidFirth]

What about the wreck of the Queen Elizabeth II?, shouted @gennypearl. What about it?, asked @GreenWizard.

@LaSorcia and the other ladies on the ship just shook their heads and went below.

Cook me something to eat! shouted a fervent David Firth. Don't they have any worthwhile bridges to see out here?, he asked no one in particular.

 

[Sam91]

@Sam91 approached the @GreenWizard almost silently and deftly, musing. 'This will be useful she thought, practice on a live specimen at last! I can call myself a surgeon! I can be @surgicalsam.' She exuberently began jumping on the spot holding the orbital extraction tool aloft, resembling @YosemiteSam firing his pistols.

@Doctor.Sphinx had been listening intensely to his nememis/rival/but-somehow-dear-friend's ruminations; evaluating whether the survival of tetanus had removed his former prejudice of the challenged little dude and whether he had truly reached forgiveness. Yes, he had! No longer holding emnity, he was going to save @GreenWizard from a fate that no one deserved. He shuddered, Sam91 could be so dispassionate; how can she think that it is normal?!

The perfect, most opportune moment for the heroical act had arrived. With blood pumping satisfyingly strong in his courageous chest he turned, hand stretched, swiftly grabbing the extraction tool. Immediately and unfortunately, the guillotine hurtled to the floor, severing the good Doctor's toes en route. The somewhat ruggedly-handsome but half-toeless doctor blanched.

Noticing that Samantha wasn't with her, @LaSorcia's powers of moderation told her that something was amiss. So she had brought the ladies back to the deck, expecting something like this. @christine40 gasped...

 

[mama2one]

screamed loudly and fainted but not from the sight of blood but from the sight of seeing @Doctor.Sphinx 's feet

(she found feet to be extemely gross and never went barefoot herself)

Christine's piercing scream and thud from falling brought everyone running
chaos ensued but a strong, wise person calmly took charge.........

 

[Sam91]

@Ancient of Days decided there was no need for the strong and calm @DavidFirth to get involved and told him to just ponder his next meal.

He picked up the good @Doctor.Sphinx's smallest toe and went to throw it overboard. @GreenWizard licked his lips and snatched it out of his hand. Meanwhile, the ship lurched over a wave and @joyshirley staggered into @Ancient of Days knocking him overboard. A great blue whale promptly swallowed him to the amusement of the half-toed doc.

 

[mama2one]

christine came to as someone was holding some foul smelling herbs under her nose
her eyes were strangely blurry so it might have been @Sam91
or @joyshirley

she heard excited chatter about the whale and Ancientofdays causing her to spring to her feet and start shouting everyone's name one after another

they all stopped chattering as Christine shouted
"do something quickly! we have to save Ancientofdays"

of course, they already had hatched a plan and were about to........

 

[Sam91]

Triage the situation.

@Doctor.Sphinx was in the most need of assistance. Blood was still gushing out his foot.

@Ancient of Days could sit and ponder his misadventure. He'd be fine, he'd got himself into sticky situations before now and had always escaped in one piece.. unlike poor Sphinxy.

@Doctor.Sphinx ...

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

exclaimed "My toes!", understandably still quite delirious with shock. "A doctor has a level of pain tolerance comparable to that of a pregnant lady-elephant giving birth to triplets, but that pain was the equivalent of quadruplets, to my calculations..."

@Sam91 had already snatched the missing toe from the greedy @GreenWizard prior to his devouring it.

"Don't worry doctor", she commented kindly. "These toes which are now useless for you can be used as substitute noses, to restore a sense of smell to those poor souls whose original noses were burned off in a fire."

@christine40 raised her eyebrows questioningly. "Are there many such people in the UK, Sam91?"

"Uhhhhh... Yes, yes there are," replied Sam91 absent-mindedly, as she arranged the toes in correct order prior to commencing the preservation process. "Have you never heard of the Great Fire of London?"

"I will have a sphinx in my museum of taxidermy, even if I have to sew it back together first" she thought to herself, even as she checked that her tinfoil yarmulke of protection-against-intrusive-mental-eavesdroppers was firmly and fashionably in place atop her head.

 

[Sam91]

"@Sam91 replace those toes immediately." Bellowed @LaSorcia imperiously. Affrighted and dismayed @Sam91 approached the folorn looking @Doctor.Sphinx

"Erm Samantha..." started Dr S
"Sam91" she glowered.
"Samantha, would you please use a more appropriate yarmulke for the procedure"...