feelings that i don't know how to deal with

[BrownEyes]

you guys must get this a lot but i'm struggling with feelings that i don't know how to deal with or do with... and the more i try to deal with it alone the more things slowly get worse... only i don't realize that they're worse until i'm at the point where i can't do things on my own any more and that's when i realize that things are worse than they were in the beginning.

it's such a long story about how all this came to be but to make it short...

i basically just left my family church because i got hurt so badly by not only people that i love and trust dearly but by my family... and since then i've just preferred to keep to myself and to be by myself because i just can't take being hurt any more... especially by people who call themselves christians. but when i'm with someone... it's either my sisters, brother or a close auntie of mine... and i choose to just hang out with them because they are people that i know would take care of me with all they have if my life was literally placed into their hands... especially my auntie...

but in all this hurt and damage... i have clung to a man who is older than i... and we went a whole lot further than either of us ever intended... and he is honest with me and isn't afraid to tell me anything pretty much when it comes to how he feels. but lately... we haven't been seeing much of each other and it's killing me because i feel so strongly for him... but at the same time i believe that God meant it to be this way because he was just dragging me down. i'm trying my best to get back on track with God and when i started hookin up with this guy things just went downhill from there... but i can't stand the feeling of not being with him any more or not being his at all...

... it's just so hard for me to explain it all and to deal with it all... and i would turn to my family for advice but i prefer to stay away from them because of what went down in my family church... and i would turn to my auntie but she would KILL me because i was messin around with this guy... but i know that she would only scold me because she loves me so much... but still... there's just that want for something more but i'm not sure what it is yet...

i need help and i need advice as to how to go about dealing with this problem because i can't seem to do it on my own...

 

[AlecEiffel]

I was never good at giving advice. But I will say this: You dont have to do it on your own!! You have Jesus! Dont worry, these feelings are only temporary, they will pass, I guess the best advice I can give is to pray and keep your head up... I understand it may be hard to tell people certain things, and I dont think I can tell you to tell anyone or not, I think you know your Auntie better than I do, so its up to you if you want to tell her or not, it sounds like it may help, get it off your chest. I dont know, pray on it. I will pray for you. One last thing: No matter what happens, keep your head up and have faith and know that God will pull you through this..

 

[ShetlandRose]

From reading your message, it appears that after an emotional incident at home and in your church you sought comfort and acceptance from an older man (I hope this man is not married). You say he is "honest with you." I wonder.

Since you are estranged from family members and the people in your church (is this because of a discipline or correctional matter?) you don't know where to go for advice.

God has given us many sources for counsel. First, of course, I would say your parents, and secondly a mature woman in your church. If you have decided these are not options, there are Christian teachers, counselors, even the godly mother of one of your friends. You have placed yourself in a bad situation and you are beginning to know the consequences. In Jesus Christ however, failure is never final. We can always begin again with God.

ShetlandRose

 

[Jenna]

Doll, if someone loves you, then they will work toward encouraging you in doing what is right. I know that we all stumble when it comes to tempation, but it sounds like you need to think hard on your relationship with this man and whether it is edifying, truly. It stinks, but there are people out there that prey on those who are hurting, knowing that they are more sesitive and vulnerable. I don't see there being much problem with this person being older, but I would wonder at his reasons for being involved with you. It might initially make it feel better to have someone around after trauma between yourself and your loved ones, but it could be that getting mixed up with this guy like this could just add fuel to the fire of hurt that you're already experiencing. If this man is withdrawing from you, I would say to make good use of your extra time and really delve into what you are wanting and needing, and what he is really offering. If it isn't a marriage that edifies God and yourselves, then I would say "run". *nods* It might very well hurt, but believe me, it could get so much messier if left to tend itself.

........that's just my two cents....

 

[desi]

It sounds like you turned on your family and your church, as well as have sex out of wedlock. You are choosing to pursure this fellow you sinned with while keeping church and your family out of your life. This seems like a bad idea to me. Please explain how this seems right to you so I can offer advice.

 

[BrownEyes]

thank you all for the advice and the encouragement... i really needed your words of wisdom...

tonight i went to a youth rally... my auntie talked me into it... and my family church (the church that i left because of gossip and a whole lot of stuff that hurt me) was the church that hosted it... and it was hard for me to go and to even be there... but slowly everything just melted away... all that hurt and all that pain just slowly melted away... i mean it's still there but it was just crazy... a lot of my cousins came up to me and said what they had to say but also told me that they love me and all that stuff... and that helped... so i think i'm going to start going to church once again because something like this shouldn't stop me from growing in God...

and as for the older man that i was with... it has been a while since we've seen or talked to each other... and i know that it's like that for a reason... and i'm thankful for that... i still fien for him and want to talk to him but i keep myself from doing so because it'll just drag me down. he didn't know that i was hurt at all so i know that he wasn't with me because i was vulnerable... but you're right... did he have the right motives? that i will never know... but i don't really want to go back to find out...

thank you very much AlecEiffel, ShetlandRose, Jenna and Desi for all your help... you came in at the right moment. may God bless you for your efforts, comforting and uplifting words... it's still hard but i know that i will pull through...

stay up...

 

[ShetlandRose]

Thank you for thanking us ... We turn around and give the thanks to our Lord Jesus Christ.

ShetlandRose