Feeling Very Discouraged.

[-GodsGirl-]

Hello! I will start this by saying I grew up in a Christian household. I love going to church and church feels at home to me. I got baptized when I was 12. But recently I've realized I don't know God. I don't have a relationship with him and it makes me sad. Around the middle of last year I was living deep in sin and I was miserable. I had ended up saying something bad and I thought I had committed the unforgivable sin. I was so scared of going to hell I stopped committing the sins I knew I was doing and I started following Jesus. After I had stopped committing those sins I was being attacked by the enemy constantly. Blasphemous thoughts consumed my mind and I felt like I was going crazy. But I continued to serve God. I talked with Him daily and prayed everyday. There was this conference at church coming up and I felt the need to go to it.
So I kept praying that I could go and there was a spot available! At the conference I was baptized in the Holy Spirit and I spoke in tongues. Here I am almost a year later and have not grew in my relationship with God. I still speak in tongues and pray often. I have been wavering in and out of this christian life because sometimes I feel like there's no point. Sometimes I stop serving Him completely But the Holy Spirit always turns me back to Christ. Sometimes I feel like I'm destined for hell and no matter how much I want God I can't have Him. I started going to a new church a couple weeks ago and it's great! The Pastors sermons are awesome and I know this is the church God wants me at.
I just feel defeated and discouraged. I want a relationship with Jesus, I want to know Him and fall in love with Him but it seems like I can't. It feels like somethings blocking me from God and I can't find out what. I want to fellowship with God. I want to hear Him speak and know it's Him. Sometimes I wonder if I even mean these things. Like if I really meant them then they would happen right? But I know I mean them.
I see my friends from my old church getting their prayers answered and God giving them visions and dreams and I sit here asking myself what are they doing that I'm not? I started getting a religious spirit. Thinking I had to read a certain amount of the Bible or I had to pray for this long in order for God to hear me. But I realized I was doing that and stopped. I've gotten so many words from Pastors over the years. One Pastor told me my trust has been broken a lot, and the devil uses that to make it hard for me to trust God. Which is obviously true. The last word I got was a couple months ago and the Pastor said he saw a vision of me next to a door, and I was holding the door shut keeping God from coming through and if I just let go God would do radical things through me. That encouraged me, but how do I let go? what does that even mean?
I just don't know where to go from here. I asked God to give me a word today at church and the Pastor had a word for the church saying there's some who feel like giving up and basically everything that I was feeling. He was talking about faith. But I don't know If i have any. I asked God for faith but It seems like I ask and ask and ask but nothings given to me. So I begin to lose hope. I feel stuck. It's like no matter what I read about starting a relationship with God and all these things to do. Nothing works. I cry every night talking to God. I know he hears me, at least I think He does. I've gotten to the point where I don't even want to read the Bible because whats the point. So ya. I'm not sure what to do. I will talk to my Pastors about it soon. I always get nervous because I cry when I talk about it. But ya. I'm stuck. I just need a real encounter with God. Hoping that happens soon.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Hello! I will start this by saying I grew up in a Christian household. I love going to church and church feels at home to me. I got baptized when I was 12. But recently I've realized I don't know God. I don't have a relationship with him and it makes me sad. Around the middle of last year I was living deep in sin and I was miserable. I had ended up saying something bad and I thought I had committed the unforgivable sin. I was so scared of going to hell I stopped committing the sins I knew I was doing and I started following Jesus. After I had stopped committing those sins I was being attacked by the enemy constantly. Blasphemous thoughts consumed my mind and I felt like I was going crazy. But I continued to serve God. I talked with Him daily and prayed everyday. There was this conference at church coming up and I felt the need to go to it.
So I kept praying that I could go and there was a spot available! At the conference I was baptized in the Holy Spirit and I spoke in tongues. Here I am almost a year later and have not grew in my relationship with God. I still speak in tongues and pray often. I have been wavering in and out of this christian life because sometimes I feel like there's no point. Sometimes I stop serving Him completely But the Holy Spirit always turns me back to Christ. Sometimes I feel like I'm destined for hell and no matter how much I want God I can't have Him. I started going to a new church a couple weeks ago and it's great! The Pastors sermons are awesome and I know this is the church God wants me at.
I just feel defeated and discouraged. I want a relationship with Jesus, I want to know Him and fall in love with Him but it seems like I can't. It feels like somethings blocking me from God and I can't find out what. I want to fellowship with God. I want to hear Him speak and know it's Him. Sometimes I wonder if I even mean these things. Like if I really meant them then they would happen right? But I know I mean them.
I see my friends from my old church getting their prayers answered and God giving them visions and dreams and I sit here asking myself what are they doing that I'm not? I started getting a religious spirit. Thinking I had to read a certain amount of the Bible or I had to pray for this long in order for God to hear me. But I realized I was doing that and stopped. I've gotten so many words from Pastors over the years. One Pastor told me my trust has been broken a lot, and the devil uses that to make it hard for me to trust God. Which is obviously true. The last word I got was a couple months ago and the Pastor said he saw a vision of me next to a door, and I was holding the door shut keeping God from coming through and if I just let go God would do radical things through me. That encouraged me, but how do I let go? what does that even mean?
I just don't know where to go from here. I asked God to give me a word today at church and the Pastor had a word for the church saying there's some who feel like giving up and basically everything that I was feeling. He was talking about faith. But I don't know If i have any. I asked God for faith but It seems like I ask and ask and ask but nothings given to me. So I begin to lose hope. I feel stuck. It's like no matter what I read about starting a relationship with God and all these things to do. Nothing works. I cry every night talking to God. I know he hears me, at least I think He does. I've gotten to the point where I don't even want to read the Bible because whats the point. So ya. I'm not sure what to do. I will talk to my Pastors about it soon. I always get nervous because I cry when I talk about it. But ya. I'm stuck. I just need a real encounter with God. Hoping that happens soon.

Well, you know where to go back to, right?

It's to the Scriptures. Not back to feelings, but to God's Word and what it says.

I think you already know also what is probable among the most famous of Bible verses. "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (John 3.16)

John chapter 14 also is a great strength and comfort to all who trust the Lord Jesus. Happy reading of God's Word! Doing so prayerfully and trustingly really changes lives.

 

[-GodsGirl-]

Well, you know where to go back to, right?

It's to the Scriptures. Not back to feelings, but to God's Word and what it says.

I think you already know also what is probable among the most famous of Bible verses. "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (John 3.16)

John chapter 14 also is a great strength and comfort to all who trust the Lord Jesus. Happy reading of God's Word! Doing so prayerfully and trustingly really changes lives.

Ya I've heard that a lot. That's it's not about what we feel, well you know what I mean. I struggle with that. I will read that thanks

 

[faroukfarouk]

Ya I've heard that a lot. That's it's not about what we feel, well you know what I mean. I struggle with that. I will read that thanks

YW.
The point is that it's what God's Word assures the sinner of, through faith in the Lord Jesus, is what gives assurance for time and eternity.

A religious atmosphere that makes someone "feel good" for a while is no use to anyone.

 

[Solomons Porch]

he saw a vision of me next to a door, and I was holding the door shut keeping God from coming through and if I just let go God would do radical things through me. That encouraged me, but how do I let go? what does that even mean?

I think the shut door is just your fear. You are still speaking in tongues and we all go thru what seems like dry spells. The very fact that you have such desire which I can clearly hear in you, is amazing. At your age most people are not desiring Christ as you are, and I think that is wonderful. You seeking him as you are is wonderful. He is there with you. You are not doomed sweety, you are beautiful to Him, your desire for Him is inspiring. Do not compare what others get, verses what you get, such as dreams visions and prayers answered. Everyone has a different call and a different kind of relationship. He loves you individually and your gifts are not to be compared to others. Your battles in life are not the same as others.

I asked God for faith but It seems like I ask and ask and ask but nothings given to me.

I disagree with you, just reading these words is see faith all over them. So yes, you do have faith, He has given it to you.

I know he hears me,

You knowing He hears you, states that you know for sure (which is pure faith). Faith is believing in what is not seen or heard. And darling thats what you are doing and what you have.

When satan comes at you with thoughts or feelings. SHUT THE DOOR ON HIM. Tell him no not today chicken boy, not this chick and not this day. Use the name of Jesus and the blood of Jesus. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Even Jesus being the wonderful God He is, used and quoted the word of God in battling satan. He would say.......It is written. Try it out kiddo, you gonna be just fine. Your hunger inspires me

 

[user385]

Eternal life cannot be earned. It sounds like you might have been trying to earn eternal life by living good enough so that you can try to get into heaven. If so you have not believed on Jesus Christ and you have not received eternal life.

Read Isaiah 64:6. We see that we are all as an unclean, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags.

Read Hebrews 2:9. We see that Jesus has tasted death for every man. A believer in Jesus Christ cannot spiritually die. A believer is a new creation. They have been born again. They have eternal life.
Read Hebrews 3:18-19. We see that those who could not enter into God's rest could not enter His rest because of unbelief. The unbelief referred to is the choice to not believe on Jesus Christ. Once someone has been born again it is impossible for them to ever have that type of unbelief.
There is a reason why rest is called rest.
Read Hebrews 4:3. We see that those who believe do enter into rest. The works were finished from the foundation of the world.
Read Hebrews 4:10. We see that he that has entered into His rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God from His. The type of works being referred to is anything a man tries to do or to not do in order to receive or keep eternal life. A man cannot lose eternal life.
Read Hebrews 4:12-13. One thing these verses seem to make clear is that God knows every thought of a man and He knows what is in a man's heart.
Read Hebrews 9:25-28.
Read Hebrews 10:11-18. Notice that by one offering He hath perfected for ever them that are sanctified.
Read Hebrews 10:12. We see that Jesus offered one sacrifice for sins for ever.
Read Hebrews 12:29. We see that God is a consuming fire.

A person cannot make themselves perfectly righteous by their own works. A person who has been saved cannot lose eternal life. There is only one thing a person can do to receive eternal life, that thing is to believe on Jesus Christ.

To believe on Jesus Christ means to believe that the payment for one's own sins was made through the shed blood and death of Jesus Christ on the cross, through the burial of Jesus Christ, and through the physical and bodily resurrection of Jesus Christ.

In John 6:29 we are told that the work of God is to believe on Jesus Christ. The fact that Jesus only talked about one thing a person must do to receive eternal life makes it clear there is only one thing a person must do to receive eternal life. Read John 3:15-18, John 3:36 and Acts 16:31. You must be born again.

There are a lot of people in buildings that people call churches today who have not received eternal life, but say that they have. I am guessing that there are many people who say that they are pastors who have not received eternal life.

One thing that gives me a great amount of encouragement is thinking about the rapture. There are signs of the end of the world. Watching Christian prophecy update current events videos gives me encouragement.

 

[timewerx]

I see my friends from my old church getting their prayers answered and God giving them visions and dreams and I sit here asking myself what are they doing that I'm not? I started getting a religious spirit. Thinking I had to read a certain amount of the Bible or I had to pray for this long in order for God to hear me. But I realized I was doing that and stopped. I've gotten so many words from Pastors over the years. One Pastor told me my trust has been broken a lot, and the devil uses that to make it hard for me to trust God. Which is obviously true. The last word I got was a couple months ago and the Pastor said he saw a vision of me next to a door, and I was holding the door shut keeping God from coming through and if I just let go God would do radical things through me. That encouraged me, but how do I let go? what does that even mean?

I've seen this a lot and there are other things at work here.

I just don't know where to go from here. I asked God to give me a word today at church and the Pastor had a word for the church saying there's some who feel like giving up and basically everything that I was feeling. He was talking about faith. But I don't know If i have any. I asked God for faith but It seems like I ask and ask and ask but nothings given to me. So I begin to lose hope. I feel stuck. It's like no matter what I read about starting a relationship with God and all these things to do. Nothing works. I cry every night talking to God. I know he hears me, at least I think He does. I've gotten to the point where I don't even want to read the Bible because whats the point. So ya. I'm not sure what to do. I will talk to my Pastors about it soon. I always get nervous because I cry when I talk about it. But ya. I'm stuck. I just need a real encounter with God. Hoping that happens soon.

Been there.

Faith is not the problem. What may be the problem are the things you are asking for.

What are the things you are asking of God other than faith?

 

[-GodsGirl-]

Eternal life cannot be earned. It sounds like you might have been trying to earn eternal life by living good enough so that you can try to get into heaven. If so you have not believed on Jesus Christ and you have not received eternal life.

Read Isaiah 64:6. We see that we are all as an unclean, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags.

Read Hebrews 2:9. We see that Jesus has tasted death for every man. A believer in Jesus Christ cannot spiritually die. A believer is a new creation. They have been born again. They have eternal life.
Read Hebrews 3:18-19. We see that those who could not enter into God's rest could not enter His rest because of unbelief. The unbelief referred to is the choice to not believe on Jesus Christ. Once someone has been born again it is impossible for them to ever have that type of unbelief.
There is a reason why rest is called rest.
Read Hebrews 4:3. We see that those who believe do enter into rest. The works were finished from the foundation of the world.
Read Hebrews 4:10. We see that he that has entered into His rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God from His. The type of works being referred to is anything a man tries to do or to not do in order to receive or keep eternal life. A man cannot lose eternal life.
Read Hebrews 4:12-13. One thing these verses seem to make clear is that God knows every thought of a man and He knows what is in a man's heart.
Read Hebrews 9:25-28.
Read Hebrews 10:11-18. Notice that by one offering He hath perfected for ever them that are sanctified.
Read Hebrews 10:12. We see that Jesus offered one sacrifice for sins for ever.
Read Hebrews 12:29. We see that God is a consuming fire.

A person cannot make themselves perfectly righteous by their own works. A person who has been saved cannot lose eternal life. There is only one thing a person can do to receive eternal life, that thing is to believe on Jesus Christ.

To believe on Jesus Christ means to believe that the payment for one's own sins was made through the shed blood and death of Jesus Christ on the cross, through the burial of Jesus Christ, and through the physical and bodily resurrection of Jesus Christ.

In John 6:29 we are told that the work of God is to believe on Jesus Christ. The fact that Jesus only talked about one thing a person must do to receive eternal life makes it clear there is only one thing a person must do to receive eternal life. Read John 3:15-18, John 3:36 and Acts 16:31. You must be born again.

There are a lot of people in buildings that people call churches today who have not received eternal life, but say that they have. I am guessing that there are many people who say that they are pastors who have not received eternal life.

One thing that gives me a great amount of encouragement is thinking about the rapture. There are signs of the end of the world. Watching Christian prophecy update current events videos gives me encouragement.

You could be right. I'm not sure. I'm trying to believe on Jesus, I'm not sure how but I'm trying. I'm trying to have a real relationship with Him. It's not like I just want to make it to heaven. I want to be an example of Christ. I want a real deep relationship with Him. At one point sure I was trying to be good thinking it was by my works even though I know we're not saved by our works. But now I just want Him. I feel desperate for Him.

 

[-GodsGirl-]

I've seen this a lot and there are other things at work here.




Been there.

Faith is not the problem. What may be the problem are the things you are asking for.

What are the things you are asking of God other than faith?

I've been asking Him for christian friends because I don't really have any. I've been asking for Him to make my heart sensitive to His word and His Holy Spirit. I ask Him to allow the Holy Spirit to give me knowledge and wisdom when I read the Bible. I don't think I'm asking Him for anything He doesn't want me to have.

 

[-GodsGirl-]

I think the shut door is just your fear. You are still speaking in tongues and we all go thru what seems like dry spells. The very fact that you have such desire which I can clearly hear in you, is amazing. At your age most people are not desiring Christ as you are, and I think that is wonderful. You seeking him as you are is wonderful. He is there with you. You are not doomed sweety, you are beautiful to Him, your desire for Him is inspiring. Do not compare what others get, verses what you get, such as dreams visions and prayers answered. Everyone has a different call and a different kind of relationship. He loves you individually and your gifts are not to be compared to others. Your battles in life are not the same as others.


I disagree with you, just reading these words is see faith all over them. So yes, you do have faith, He has given it to you.


You knowing He hears you, states that you know for sure (which is pure faith). Faith is believing in what is not seen or heard. And darling thats what you are doing and what you have.

When satan comes at you with thoughts or feelings. SHUT THE DOOR ON HIM. Tell him no not today chicken boy, not this chick and not this day. Use the name of Jesus and the blood of Jesus. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Even Jesus being the wonderful God He is, used and quoted the word of God in battling satan. He would say.......It is written. Try it out kiddo, you gonna be just fine. Your hunger inspires me

Thank you so much for these encouraging words I have since you replied shut the door on satan. And I've been speaking the opposite of the lies he's telling me! Thank you so much!

 

[tturt]

posted: ..."no matter how much I want God I can't have Him."

Encourage you to think about Scriptures such as:

- Yahweh loves you with an everlasting love (John 3:16-17, Jer 31)
-"The spirit of God hath made me, and the breath of the Almighty hath given me life." Job 33:4
-...even the very hairs of your head are all numbered." Luke 12:7 (that number is constantly changing)
- When we confess our sins, "...he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." I John 1:9
-"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." Jer 29:11
-"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." Psa 46:1
- Psa 145 (can play this in audio bible at Biblegateway.com).

 

[timewerx]

I've been asking Him for christian friends because I don't really have any.

This could give you an opportunity to reach out to the lost.

And note, not every Christian that you see is a Christian already. I also wanted Christian friends but God gave me only few. I don't even see them because most of them are here in CF

I've been asking for Him to make my heart sensitive to His word and His Holy Spirit. I ask Him to allow the Holy Spirit to give me knowledge and wisdom when I read the Bible. I don't think I'm asking Him for anything He doesn't want me to have.

I asked God the same prayer. My answer came in tiny bits in over 10 years and only realized it after couple of years and I don't think it's over. I'm still receiving insights little by little as time goes by.

Those kinds of prayers could take a very long time to be fulfilled and may even take a life time...

...I'd be suspicious and doubtful of a person who claims they suddenly can understand the Bible in a very short period of time. It's more possible they are only being carried away by emotions. Christianity is not a game of who's the fastest... It's actually more of who waited the most!

Many of the disciples of Jesus themselves did not have understanding until 3 years with Him. King Solomon only became aware of the Truth in old age. There are things in our faith that you cannot hurry or hasten. If anyone is telling you otherwise, I'd be suspicious of that person as a Christian who can suitably guide others.

I don't think God is ignoring you. Your faith seems fine. What you need is patience and perseverance.

 

[-GodsGirl-]

This could give you an opportunity to reach out to the lost.

And note, not every Christian that you see is a Christian already. I also wanted Christian friends but God gave me only few. I don't even see them because most of them are here in CF



I asked God the same prayer. My answer came in tiny bits in over 10 years and only realized it after couple of years and I don't think it's over. I'm still receiving insights little by little as time goes by.

Those kinds of prayers could take a very long time to be fulfilled and may even take a life time...

...I'd be suspicious and doubtful of a person who claims they suddenly can understand the Bible in a very short period of time. It's more possible they are only being carried away by emotions. Christianity is not a game of who's the fastest... It's actually more of who waited the most!

Many of the disciples of Jesus themselves did not have understanding until 3 years with Him. King Solomon only became aware of the Truth in old age. There are things in our faith that you cannot hurry or hasten. If anyone is telling you otherwise, I'd be suspicious of that person as a Christian who can suitably guide others.

I don't think God is ignoring you. Your faith seems fine. What you need is patience and perseverance.

Thanks Ya patience is something I need! I guess I'm too used to getting things I want right away and I get impatient if it takes long. I know it's Gods timing not ours. Even though I know that, sometimes its difficult to accept. I will definitely be praying for those then

 

[-GodsGirl-]

posted: ..."no matter how much I want God I can't have Him."

Encourage you to think about Scriptures such as:

- Yahweh loves you with an everlasting love (John 3:16-17, Jer 31)
-"The spirit of God hath made me, and the breath of the Almighty hath given me life." Job 33:4
-...even the very hairs of your head are all numbered." Luke 12:7 (that number is constantly changing)
- When we confess our sins, "...he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." I John 1:9
-"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." Jer 29:11
-"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." Psa 46:1
- Psa 145 (can play this in audio bible at Biblegateway.com).

Thank you so much for these! I'm thinking about writing down Gods loving nature and His promises on cards so that I can read them before I go to sleep and when I wake up as well as throughout the day

 

[tturt]

Great! Our spirits believe The Word according to John 6:63 " It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life." So we can listen (either others or ourselves speaking) Scripture and be strengthened.

Also, you might want to spend some time deliberately focusing on Yahweh such as -
--thinking about some of His titles, names, and attributes,
--singing a new song (not musically inclined so usually change lyrics) and
--glorifying His Name, who He is.
(Matt 6:6; Psa 46:10; Psa 33:3; 69:30; 71:23; 95:2; 100:4; 145+++)

 

[-GodsGirl-]

Great! Our spirits believe The Word according to John 6:63 " It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life." So we can listen (either others or ourselves speaking) Scripture and be strengthened.

Also, you might want to spend some time deliberately focusing on Yahweh such as -
--thinking about some of His titles, names, and attributes and
--singing a new song (not musically inclined so usually change lyrics) and
--glorifying His Name, who He is.
(Matt 6:6; Psa 46:10; Psa 33:3; 69:30; 71:23; 95:2; 100:4; 145+++)

Okay! Thank you so much for giving me a helping hand and helping me towards a better relationship with God

 

[-GodsGirl-]

Thank you all for posting on here and giving me encouragement and helping me realize things that I need to change/do differently, and things that will help me have a better relationship with God. It means a lot God Bless