Feeling frustrated.

[Discerned]

Hey everybody,

So I've been feeling a little frustrated the last few days. And this is mostly a thread to vent, but feel free to give your opinion.

Either way, my frustrations having been running a little higher these last couple of days. Mostly because, I'm not entirely sure what's the right thing to do.

My girlfriend and I, well we've been together for a few months. Only three, but we were best friends for a pretty long time before that. We know eachother through and through. Have seen eachother in our darkest times, in our best times, at our best, and at our worst. She knows the worst things from my past, and I from hers. And well, we have always built our relationship/friendship on trust, and honesty. Well three months ago, we both acknowledged feelings that had been dwelling for a while and started dating.

It has been an amazing three months, and we've basically spent most of our free time together. Actually like we had been doing for quite some time before that as well. Now I'm running into a problem I had not anticipated when I started dating. I can't stop thinking about making love to her. And in actuality we have come extremely close to it. We know it's wrong to have sex before marriage, and we know what the Bible teaches about it, and what to do when you burn with passion. We are ready to get married in nearly every way I can think of, except that we could never get her families aproval. They would never condone us getting engaged after just three months, even if we do know eachother better than most couples do after years of dating. I can't allienate her from her family, nor can I go in against God's will in this, but I'm really scared I'm not going to prevent myself from falling in the next couple of months. I know what I should do, and I can't. I feel like I'm stuck, and can't win.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Its good you have passion for each other. But truly make sure the feelings you have are not just sexual. That was my first mistake with a girl I was with and after a few months we had sex and I lost my virginty at 27. >.< Once you are sure its more about love then you should be fine.

If you are over 18 you don't need the parents consent. Don't get me wrong its nice to want their consent (its what I normally do). But in the end its up to you two. Sometimes parents can tell if someone is right for their child, others times they can't and will interfere with their childs love. I'd pray long and hard and if you can I'd fast. Just to be sure God has chosen her for you. Just because her parents don't want it doesn't mean it is/isn't Gods will.

In my experience if its not meant to be then you will notice nonstop obstacles in your way. Obstacles that are are obviously not normal. Where as if shes the one then the road should be relatively clear. Example my fiance lives 8,000 miles away in the Philippines. Well I am disabled and don't have much money. And yet I needed like $7000 for a trip to marry her, shots, paperwork...etc

At first I cried thinking it was impossible. But God keeps blessing me with money to save up. I already have about $3500 and its only been about 4 months I think. That would normally take me about 2 years to save just for $3500. So you can see God is at work!

Anyways you get my drift. I say all this because marriage is permanent. Even though many choose to divorce, its best to make sure you are 100% sure you two are meant to be together. You can't load the last save game like you can in a video game! ^.^

I'll be praying for you both (and your families).

--edit---
I wanted to add don't worry about engaging after three months. Theres no magical rules out there about how long it is before you engage or even marry. Everyone is different. I've seen couples engage after years, I've seen couples engage after weeks (and even marry).

Its about how ready you are as a couple to move to that step. For example if you have talked about every possible thing (and been honest) you can think of to see if you have any differences and you don't. Then logically the next step is to engage. Engagement means you want to commit to marriage because you are ready and are sure.

I met my fiance Nov 1st 2011. I engaged to her Dec 6th 2011. We are getting married Feb 12th 2013. Mind you as stated she lives 8,000 miles away so we have plenty of time to talk inbetween still. Some people freaked out when I engaged after just over a month. But they didn't realize just how much we talked about, how hard we prayed and fasted to make sure. We've been hurt in the past by ex-fiances and didn't want to rush into it unless we were sure.

Some of have told me "But what if you get there to marry her and you change your mind?". Well really if you think about it, since you talked about everything what would be left to not like? Not much really. Maybe she has a nervous tick or talks to much. Those are all external things to me. I love my fiance for her golden heart and strong faith in God. Whats outside of that doesn't not matter as much.

Again its important to talk about these things. While some don't mind a persons little things they do in person, others don't like it. My fiance doesn't mind talking to strangers, where as I am more shy. But it doesn't mean I'd leave her over something so simple. My feeling is if you can leave someone for any little reasons then it opens the door to divorce. There is no such thing as the perfect spouse, even if they feel perfect inside they will stiill have flaws like we all do.

Or in short you must learn to love your her imperfections perfectly!

 

[Luther073082]

It's normal to desire sex with your SO. That's why God created marriage for us.

I would say try to avoid situations where it could be easy for you to have sex.

I would recommend holding out a little bit longer then 3 months. But since you know eachother so well you could probably get engaged in 6 to 8 months if everything is going alright. Spend a year after the engagement planning a wedding and then get married.

I think there definatly should be some wait to make sure that there is more to this relationship then just the sexual desire.

How old are the both of you?