Feel Worthless

[lemonflavor]

My wife is teaching private music lessons at a new location and is having a hard time getting enough students. Today she said maybe she should go to school and get a "regular" job, which I know she doesn't really want to do.

I can hardly do any work, any little thing stresses me. I've applied for disability and we will get a hearing before a judge but that may be a year and a half away.

I feel so helpless. I should be the one earning the money while she teaches as she can. She made it sound like I'm not working as opposed to not able to work.

This has sent me down to deeper depression. I hate this feeling.

I'm trying to think positively. Maybe this would be a direction God would be pleased with. Maybe she would find something she likes even better than teaching. Maybe we would be better off financially. Maybe this is just a little temporary pesssimism on her part. But I still feel like dirt.

 

[Alive again]

My wife is teaching private music lessons at a new location and is having a hard time getting enough students. Today she said maybe she should go to school and get a "regular" job, which I know she doesn't really want to do.

I can hardly do any work, any little thing stresses me. I've applied for disability and we will get a hearing before a judge but that may be a year and a half away.

I feel so helpless. I should be the one earning the money while she teaches as she can. She made it sound like I'm not working as opposed to not able to work.

This has sent me down to deeper depression. I hate this feeling.

I'm trying to think positively. Maybe this would be a direction God would be pleased with. Maybe she would find something she likes even better than teaching. Maybe we would be better off financially. Maybe this is just a little temporary pesssimism on her part. But I still feel like dirt.

lemonflavor, the only thing that kept me sane during these times was remember that God is the source of truth, not our feelings, not anyone else and focusing on what does God say about me, because that was truth I could trust and cling to. God says you are approved, acceptable, a saint, beloved, worth dying for etc. . .Why, not because of anything we have done, are doing or will do, Because God loves us no matter what. Clinging to those things got me through some dark days, even when they didn't match my feelings. Renew your mind with the truth. Many years ago my hubby accused me of faking my illness so I could stay home with the kids! He has learned that was not true, and unfortunately he know sit first hand now aws he has depression to battle with.

God is faithful in the storm. May He restore to you peace and hope and joy.

 

[goldenviolet]

lemonflavor you are not worthless. everything will work out. give it all to Jesus. your feelings and your future. i'm praying for you both.

 

[Alive again]

And I am also praying for you, we have not forgotten you and neither has God

 

[lemonflavor]

Answered prayer already. My wife was gone for a while when I posted that. When she came back I bit the bullet and told her how I feel in a nice rational way. (A couple years ago I would have just silently withdrawn.) She said she didn't mean to hurt me at all and was very sorry about how it sounded. I'm sure it was partly my own paranoia that read into some of her words and thoughts. We talked about the whole situation for a while which was very good.

I still have those underlying feelings but feel much better for now.

Thank you for the prayers and the extremely encouraging words.

 

[goldenviolet]

praise the Lord

 

[walshclan]

Good for you for talking to your wife. You really did both of you a service and your marriage will be so much stronger because of it.

A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. Proverbs 25:11

Connie

 

[angelkiss]

Lemonflavor, you are such a blessing to us all, and it's good to know you have been open with your feelings. Always remember God is with you and can and will help you and your wife through all things. You both are in my prayers.
's and es!!

 

[rushingwind62]

My wife is teaching private music lessons at a new location and is having a hard time getting enough students. Today she said maybe she should go to school and get a "regular" job, which I know she doesn't really want to do.

I can hardly do any work, any little thing stresses me. I've applied for disability and we will get a hearing before a judge but that may be a year and a half away.

I feel so helpless. I should be the one earning the money while she teaches as she can. She made it sound like I'm not working as opposed to not able to work.

This has sent me down to deeper depression. I hate this feeling.

I'm trying to think positively. Maybe this would be a direction God would be pleased with. Maybe she would find something she likes even better than teaching. Maybe we would be better off financially. Maybe this is just a little temporary pesssimism on her part. But I still feel like dirt.

I know exactly how you feel. I am on disability myself and I remember how I felt when I was trying to get it. It only took me ten months to get it because I had many hospitalaztions in a short period of time. I have the same problem as you, when I get stressed at all I fall apart. Hang in there brother, we are all praying for you.
God Bless You...Rush

 

[Alive again]

Good for you for talking to your wife. You really did both of you a service and your marriage will be so much stronger because of it.

A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. Proverbs 25:11

Connie

Amen, and praise God for such quickly answered prayer. May He provide all your needs during this time!

 

[PrairieGurl]

Answered prayer already. My wife was gone for a while when I posted that. When she came back I bit the bullet and told her how I feel in a nice rational way. (A couple years ago I would have just silently withdrawn.) She said she didn't mean to hurt me at all and was very sorry about how it sounded. I'm sure it was partly my own paranoia that read into some of her words and thoughts. We talked about the whole situation for a while which was very good.

I still have those underlying feelings but feel much better for now.

Thank you for the prayers and the extremely encouraging words.

Lemonflavor,

Our God is FAITHFUL

Your honesty with your feelings is refreshing and encourageing to me to be honest. Thank you.

And re: you being the 'bread winner'...not always my Friend, not always

Continueing to pray for your wife and you!
So glad you shared with each other!

s & s,
Wendy

 

[Zita123]

My wife is teaching private music lessons at a new location and is having a hard time getting enough students. Today she said maybe she should go to school and get a "regular" job, which I know she doesn't really want to do.

I can hardly do any work, any little thing stresses me. I've applied for disability and we will get a hearing before a judge but that may be a year and a half away.

I feel so helpless. I should be the one earning the money while she teaches as she can. She made it sound like I'm not working as opposed to not able to work.

This has sent me down to deeper depression. I hate this feeling.

I'm trying to think positively. Maybe this would be a direction God would be pleased with. Maybe she would find something she likes even better than teaching. Maybe we would be better off financially. Maybe this is just a little temporary pesssimism on her part. But I still feel like dirt.

Please don't feel like that! I am female and feel that way also. I still have to constantly remind him that my illness is NOT going anywhere and I'm sorry but you make me feel worse " then he gets the hint ( for that day ) and it's ok but, I am getting used to it. I did get approved for social security and man, do I feel better! So, I say to you, " BETTER TIMES ARE COMING!! " I feel that you will get the social security!
Hope I helped a little,
GOD BLESS!!
Zita

 

[goldenviolet]

lemonflavor you are in my prayers.

 

[wonderwaleye]

I got a copy of the report and it is favorable for disability. I'm putting you on ignore now.

Dear Lemon flavor


That would probably be BEST.


I would do the same but there might come a day when you wish to help yourself and your poor wife.


So I guess I will just have to bear with the mooning.



BUT IT'S NOT REALLY A PROBLEM WHEN I REMEMBER:





X Even though you can't see him, GOD is there!!! O
( click on the x and drag to the O ) ( then see who is with you ) steven

 

[angelkiss]

lemonflavor, I am still praying for you!!
's and es!!

 

[Debi1967]

BUT IT'S NOT REALLY A PROBLEM WHEN I REMEMBER:





X Even though you can't see him, GOD is there!!! O
( click on the x and drag to the O ) ( then see who is with you ) steven

Dear Steven

How are you today?
Remember that charity is love and that sometimes when we are not in another's shoes then we ourselves cannot properly assess a situation.....

DEar Lemon Flavor

I have been down the road you are going down now, my husband is rushingwind62.

Remember for you that sometimes our paths during these times can be rough because we are tried to no end because of our finances and because those around us will not properly understand how to deal with us.

I feel for you Lemon flavor as it is hard on a family to go through the beginning of this. Please keep in mind though there is Light at the end of the tunnel and you have lots of support to help you.... Both I and my husband will be more than glad to help you in your time...

Lovingly in Christ
Debi

 

[PrairieGurl]

I await with s for you when you can change the Title of your Thread

s & s,
Wendy

 

[goldenviolet]

Lemonflavor, , i can really relate to feeling worthless. there is a certain satisfaction we get from working. how about replacing your feelings of usefulness by what you do at home?
like fixing dinner, doing laundry etc. things that will make your wife want to hug you . or how about volunteering at the chuch some? that would give you another way to bear fruit. anyway... bless your heart. your family is in my prayers!

love dee

p.s. what about bearing fruit here on CF!? surely your encouragement to others is valuable!

 

[PrairieGurl]

You're right Dee...Lemonflavor's encouragement is valuable her at CF !

s & s,
Wendy

 

[lemonflavor]

Thanks again for all the great encouragement.

Even though my outlook is dark, for something positive: One of my "jobs" which I love to do is pray for my wife. I have seen more change in her because of that in the last year than all the prayer put together in my entire life. That's so encouraging. And yes Dee I also do stuff around the house out of love. I pray for you guys and gals when things come up too.