Feel lonely

[unlovable1]

I sometimes wonder if I'm destined to be alone forever. I feel like everyone else is dating but I always get rejected. I'm 30 now and it's hard to not feel hopeless.

ITo partly steal the title of another thread on here, I'm not currently suicidal but wouldn't be upset if I didn't wake up tomorrow.

 

[Purge187]

If you search through some of the threads I've made, you'd see that I can empathize completely, friend. Two passages from The Word stick out for me:

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

That may sound haughty, but I take it as a source of comfort in knowing that trying to predict my future is pointless. Leave it in His hands; He knows best. Also:

"Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor."

For a while I was blaming my singleness on God, and He reminded me of that Commandment. If it's wrong for us to put words into our neighbors' mouths, then how much more wrong is it to do it to Him. Don't jump to conclusions.

Praying for you, my friend.

 

[McHappyPants]

I sometimes wonder if I'm destined to be alone forever. I feel like everyone else is dating but I always get rejected. I'm 30 now and it's hard to not feel hopeless.

ITo partly steal the title of another thread on here, I'm not currently suicidal but wouldn't be upset if I didn't wake up tomorrow.

I am really sorry

 

[hawkeyelovejs]

I can relate to the feelings of "forever alone." I once read in a devotional that it hurts God when we proclaim ourselves "forever alone" because he is always with us, therefore we are not alone.

Having said that, at the age of 31 I am single with no prospects in sight and deeply desiring marriage and children. I have done everything I possibly can -- I go out, I volunteer in the community, work, have friends, tried online dating, etc. I've spent plenty of time praying for a husband and reading about marriage. I'm at a point where I don't know what else to do but wait for God's perfect timing. That seems to be all there IS to do! And it can be very, VERY frustrating!

I find things to keep me busy, I remember to be grateful for the many blessings God has given me, I work hard on trusting in His plan. Your worth is not based on your relationship status and it never will be. Prepare yourself to be the kind of wife you want to be and the overall person you want to be and put the rest in God's hands.

Good luck. <3

 

[britchops]

Don't be lonely. I can't sleep for SAD that's why I'm here.

TJ

Britchops Drum Tuition

 

[KatyAD111]

I feel that way too sometimes. I mean, i see everyone with friends and family and having familys and it makes me feel like an outsider. But we all have one great friend and thats God. I talk to him and when I do, I don't feel so lonely anymore.

God Bless,
praying for you...
Katy

 

[Purge187]

Speaking for myself, one of things that helped me shift my focus away from my "need" for companionship was my looking into the downsides of marriage, particularly how badly a man has it when his comes to an end.

The grass isn't always greener on the other side, and even if it is, you don't know how much "fertilizer" it took to make it greener.

 

[Samaritan Woman]

Dear Unlovable,
Let's start with your user Id name - you already have yourself labeled and by continuing in that mentality your circumstances become a self-fulfilling prophecy. I am 37 and single, never married, no children, with no boyfriend, and used to feel incredibly sorry for myself which created a depressed, self-pitying attitude. Of course I felt lonely - my only focus was "me" and my circumstances. What turned my lifelong depression and burdensome loneliness was a spirit of Gratitude for what God does give me everyday which creates a desire to serve and give back. The Lord dislikes an attitude of "give me" and entitlement, and instead wants His children to appreciate what He provides for them daily.

 

[Gracelands]

Don't be lonely. I can't sleep for SAD that's why I'm here.

TJ

Britchops Drum Tuition

Oh thats horrendous. I recognise a sometimes dramatic mood change in the Winter esp January. Can you get a light box..... or move to the Caribbean.

 

[ahava777]

I feel terrible when I get rejected, too. Not just when it comes to the opposite sex, but in general. On the bright side, Jesus understands what we feel. And we can understand each other, too. =)

The most important lessons I learned from the Lord are (1) we are to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. The prerequisite to follow this commandment is to love ourselves, too (2) our beliefs shape the way we act, and our actions influence the outcomes. Hence, we see this theme of renewing the mind and giving our thoughts to the Lord so often in the Bible, i.e. 2 Cor 10:5, loving God will all our minds, etc.

Once we figure out which ones are lies, we can replace them with truth that we can find in His Word. Because we are certain that we can trust what He says, and they are grounded on unshakable truth. Eventually, when our beliefs change, so will our actions. In due time, our outcomes would change as well.

I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well. (Ps 139:14)

You are a wonderful person. It's not because of what other people think. But God said so. And God could never lie. =)

 

[Kilodelta]

I feel the same way at 35, I try to make the most of it.

 

[HauntedByYou]

38, never been married. So i get it. I've had relationships which have all ended painfully on my end. Including very recently with someone i am convinced i should be with.
I've struggled with feeling i don't have enough to offer in various aspects of my life.
One thing i don't do is date casually. I don't ask random women out, i don't really go on dates. I prefer getting to know a woman as a friend and letting attraction form. There have been times i've approached a woman with the hopes that would happen. But sometimes i have no expectations and it still happens.
I prefer this method for my own reasons, but its a slower way of doing things and prevents me from feeling bothered if i hear about others going on dates, since i don't do that anyways.
A lot of being single is how you choose to view it. There is a disturbing trend of Christian singles being obsessive about a 'need' to be married. And churches seem to encourage the idea that Christian = marriage. Yet this is not what Paul taught. In fact, he taught its better to remain single. The emphasis on marriage within the church is not biblical, but rather a modern Christian culture being affected by a secular culture.
I suggest step back and ask yourself why you feel so needy and empty without a spouse and why God is not able to fulfill that part of your life more. Sure, God puts things within us for others to be to us, but are we going to focus and emphasize those things to make us complete? Or are we going to look to God to make us complete, so that when we do find someone to share our lives with we are the person we need to be? Right now you are Not a person who should be in a relationship because you are not whole and happy and complete within yourself and God. Therefore you cannot possibly live a life of self sacrifice for another, which is the very essence of marriage.

 

[Krystina661]

I sometimes wonder if I'm destined to be alone forever. I feel like everyone else is dating but I always get rejected. I'm 30 now and it's hard to not feel hopeless.

ITo partly steal the title of another thread on here, I'm not currently suicidal but wouldn't be upset if I didn't wake up tomorrow.

I think we can feel lonely even if we are with someone