Feel like a hypocrite

Rakis · Apr 28, 2017

DeerGlow said:
I talk to other people and give all sorts of advice and fear that I myself am not saved. I am afraid of committing Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, apostasy (I came to Christ at a young age and had amazing supernatural experiences, then around sixteen became depressed, had doubts, and wondered if I had hallucinated everything since I have unconfirmed but a high likelyhood of schizophrenia.), or by cursing Jesus. That one verse about no one can say Jesus is Lord but by the HS.... and my brain went overboard with that so I'll constantly have cursing thoughts and sometimes I have said it out loud not meaning to say anything. I fear that marks me unsaved. I am afraid of being one of the foolish virgins who ran out of oil, the seeds that were choked by thorns, or tares to be rooted from the wheat and burned.

Edit: Also the many will go astray after doctrines of devils and the itching ears thing.

Edit 2: Also I fear the mark of the beast. Thoughts of I accept ____ and I worship ____ pop into my head.

Just some advice whatever you do don't let anyone scratch your ears and don't take the mark if the rapture takes place before the mark and your left behind go bush I reckon start saving can food and water and things but hopefully your be on the first flight not meaning the airlines that could posiably drag you off the plane to make room for someone more important but the actual caught up into the air to meet Jesus in the clouds. You'll be just fine.

Far Side Of the Moon · Apr 28, 2017

DeerGlow said:
Sometimes and sometimes it's out of the blue. But I said things once because I was so tired in every way. I was up every night at awful hours in the bathroom trying not to throw up. I wanted it to be over so I said it. I wish I could undo it but I can't undo anything. I don't get a do-over.

That is OCD... In sorry...I've experienced what your talking about.. Trying not to throw up... They come in waves.. Right now..or should I say, for now...I'm calm. And honestly, when I'm okay...the times in so on edge I can't sleep or want to throw up seem like a haze,,like right now I can't remember what I was panicking about weeks ago. Small snippets come to mind but I don't remember the reason why.., like, is have to go through my blog and read why...

Maybe that's a blessing, the ability to forget.,,sure feels like it

Anyway I hope you're doing okay and get the help you need.

Rakis · Apr 28, 2017

DeerGlow said:
It's a lot more likely to end up in hell than a car accident. I drive defensively like I know what to do in a lot of situations but spiritually it's like being blindfolded on the interstate with the music blaring and trying to get off at the right exit.

Oh are you the type of person who turned left when you should've turned right?
Well just between us I know a short cut to the distination your longing for it easy and simple just turn right and go straight "Waala" your shout see you when you get here!

Emmy · Apr 28, 2017

I have just written it, and someone took it away. Please try and find the person, who spoiled my reply. Emmy, your sister in Christ. Pleas try and find the one who spoils my Christian answers

DeerGlow · Apr 28, 2017

victor de Jehova Tsidkenu said:
I've been through all of the above, almost committed suicide. I had schizophrenia, manic bipolar disorder, and PTSD and God healed me from it all. Just a bit about my background. I know how crippling the accusation on the mind can be. The Holy Spirit convicts, but it is the Devil that torments us with the crippling accusation.

Jesus Christ works through our hearts to get to our minds, the Devil works through our minds to get to our hearts.

God has declared you righteous by believing in His only begotten son Jesus Christ, you are free to be righteous conscious, not sin-conscious. If your life has become worse after knowing Christ, something is amiss! He is God of the living, not the dead! When God set us free from sin, He freed us to seek after His righteousness with no fear of condemnation! When the Father looks at you, He sees the righteousness of His perfect Son through your faith in His loving sacrifice for you.

I pray for supernatural peace over you in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. Continue to study and grow in relationship with Abba, Father in the full assurance of salvation through faith!

P.s You may find full water immersion baptism liberating if you have not already been baptised, or still have some doubts. 1 Peter 3:21-22

God loves you very much. You are His treasure. I am praying for you mighty warrior of God!

If you have any questions, I know the Word very, very well, I live it!

I was water baptised but sometimes I'm afraid I didn't get saved then but also my faith isn't as strong now as it was when I was smaller. There was a time I felt comfortable talking to God, about anything. I experienced great things and asked for big things, but then had doubts come so strong and using my hallucinations to shake me from what I knew.

DeerGlow · Apr 28, 2017

com7fy8 said:
Yes; this is very clear; thank you for telling me

If you are condemned, Jesus says that the one who does not believe is indeed condemned "already" (John 3:18). But this means the person needs to trust in Jesus . . . like all of us have needed to do . . . so we are not condemned. And I will offer that believing is not only mentally accepting a fact.

We are talking about trusting in Jesus.

In my case, I said a prayer for Jesus to save me, but then I got right in to criticizing people, anyone and everyone, somehow. So, I understand, God let me get a sample of what that could get me into. It was horrible, in me.

It could be nice and easy just to say I was condemned and not deal with getting real correction. But God had mercy on me and had me come to Jesus and seek Him for more and more real correction, in my case of conceit and self-righteously criticizing of others. And deal with learning how to love.

Stubbornness is condemned. Satan with his pride is condemned. Being conceited and self-righteously criticizing others is condemned. Worshiping my own ability to figure things out, could . . . is . . . condemned!

God knows what is really going on with you

What about doubting so strongly though? I stumbled for other things, I was completely faithless and.... as a kid I had great things happen and prayed for big things to happen and for me to do I don't have the faith I had then. And please don't say that not having to deal with correction, correction on earth is greatly prefereable to hell for eternity I just don't know if it's available for me.

DeerGlow · Apr 28, 2017

Rakis said:
Just some advice whatever you do don't let anyone scratch your ears and don't take the mark if the rapture takes place before the mark and your left behind go bush I reckon start saving can food and water and things but hopefully your be on the first flight not meaning the airlines that could posiably drag you off the plane to make room for someone more important but the actual caught up into the air to meet Jesus in the clouds. You'll be just fine.

I already have. And if I'm left behind aren't I doomed anyway? I know we shouldn't take the mark but I'm afraid of ending up with it.

DeerGlow · Apr 28, 2017

Far Side Of the Moon said:
That is OCD... In sorry...I've experienced what your talking about.. Trying not to throw up... They come in waves.. Right now..or should I say, for now...I'm calm. And honestly, when I'm okay...the times in so on edge I can't sleep or want to throw up seem like a haze,,like right now I can't remember what I was panicking about weeks ago. Small snippets come to mind but I don't remember the reason why.., like, is have to go through my blog and read why...

Maybe that's a blessing, the ability to forget.,,sure feels like it

Anyway I hope you're doing okay and get the help you need.

Not doing well, my overall anxiety seems to be increasing. But I appreciate the friendliness for lack of a better word.

stuart lawrence · Apr 28, 2017

DeerGlow said:
What about doubting so strongly though? I stumbled for other things, I was completely faithless and.... as a kid I had great things happen and prayed for big things to happen and for me to do I don't have the faith I had then. And please don't say that not having to deal with correction, correction on earth is greatly prefereable to hell for eternity I just don't know if it's available for me.

Easy to appear more faultless as a kid isn't it! But when puberty hits, and teenage years roll on its quite another matter.

DeerGlow · Apr 28, 2017

Rakis said:
Oh are you the type of person who turned left when you should've turned right?
Well just between us I know a short cut to the distination your longing for it easy and simple just turn right and go straight "Waala" your shout see you when you get here!

The point is that it's not that easy. It's like the interstates where I live, you go on one and the exits are in the several hundreds but take the wrong one and you're on the other interstate going the wrong way with single and double digit exits and I can never navigate that one. It takes a long time to get to an exit from the second where you can find a place to get on the first again.

DeerGlow · Apr 28, 2017

stuart lawrence said:
Easy to appear more faultless as a kid isn't it! But when puberty hits, and teenage years roll on its quite another matter.

Appear more faultless? There are a lot of people who seem to doubt I could have believed as a kid. I'm feeling sick now I think I'll get off for a while.

stuart lawrence · Apr 28, 2017

DeerGlow said:
Appear more faultless? There are a lot of people who seem to doubt I could have believed as a kid. I'm feeling sick now I think I'll get off for a while.

When I was ten I responded to an altar call and believed. I know I genuinely got saved, because for the first time in my young life I became conscious of my sin, proof I had been born again

com7fy8 · Apr 28, 2017

DeerGlow said:
What about doubting so strongly though? I stumbled for other things, I was completely faithless and.... as a kid I had great things happen and prayed for big things to happen and for me to do I don't have the faith I had then. And please don't say that not having to deal with correction, correction on earth is greatly prefereable to hell for eternity I just don't know if it's available for me.

But faith is not only for you to do things by yourself. We are family in Jesus. We need each other. It is great to learn how to love with other people. It is wise to not use condemnation as an excuse to get out of learning how to love and forgive any and all people.

Also > If I get too much into doing things by myself, I can get weak and lost and in trouble emotionally . . . isolating with my own self. My own self is my main problem!

"If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me." (in Luke 9:23)

The cross of Jesus is of all-loving love, and forgiving.

Victor E. · Apr 28, 2017

DeerGlow said:
I was water baptised but sometimes I'm afraid I didn't get saved then but also my faith isn't as strong now as it was when I was smaller. There was a time I felt comfortable talking to God, about anything. I experienced great things and asked for big things, but then had doubts come so strong and using my hallucinations to shake me from what I knew.

This video may help you. A very simple depiction of the Faith versus Doubt discussion many believers have in their inner-man, at least until you're ready to press in to deeper things.

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=1262130020489940

Rakis · Apr 28, 2017

DeerGlow said:
The point is that it's not that easy. It's like the interstates where I live, you go on one and the exits are in the several hundreds but take the wrong one and you're on the other interstate going the wrong way with single and double digit exits and I can never navigate that one. It takes a long time to get to an exit from the second where you can find a place to get on the first again.

One kind of music are you listening to because that just could be destracting you from making the right choices well you know what I mean take the right exit off ramp but dude that's it man sometimes we fill our minds with so much cares and worrys we stuggle to think straight bro. Am I close?

ZoeyLouLou · Apr 28, 2017

DeerGlow said:
I talk to other people and give all sorts of advice and fear that I myself am not saved. I am afraid of committing Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, apostasy (I came to Christ at a young age and had amazing supernatural experiences, then around sixteen became depressed, had doubts, and wondered if I had hallucinated everything since I have unconfirmed but a high likelyhood of schizophrenia.), or by cursing Jesus. That one verse about no one can say Jesus is Lord but by the HS.... and my brain went overboard with that so I'll constantly have cursing thoughts and sometimes I have said it out loud not meaning to say anything. I fear that marks me unsaved. I am afraid of being one of the foolish virgins who ran out of oil, the seeds that were choked by thorns, or tares to be rooted from the wheat and burned.

Edit: Also the many will go astray after doctrines of devils and the itching ears thing.

Edit 2: Also I fear the mark of the beast. Thoughts of I accept ____ and I worship ____ pop into my head.

Hello, my fellow follower. Please understand that Blaspehmy of the Holy Spirit is not a possibility in this day and age. It was only possible in the time of the original disciples. Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is denying that he exists and talking out against Jesus and his motives. Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is just that: being against his motives and using all your power to fight against Him. It is not,possible in this day and age- it will not,be until the very end of it all. (Mid-tribulation).

Now I know for a fact that you did not commit this sin. How do I know this? Well, there is of course the Holy Spirit telling me you did not. However, here is His reasoning.

You have not spoken out against Him. You have intentions to make the thoughts stop. You need nothing more than a slight bit of additional effort and they will begin to fade. You have to train your mind. It takes a lot of time and practice, but if you set your,mind to it (and focus instead on prayer) with God all things are possible.

Now bear in mind you are acknowledging these thoughts and admitting you are not proud of them. That means they are jot your thoughta. Rather, they are thoughts Satan has layed upon you. You must fight them.

Please also remember not everything can be blamed on the devil. We have a choice. God gave us a choice to do what is just and right. We must make that choice and ask Him for help and guidance.

Sometimes we must choose between what is right and what is easy. It is diffucult to do the right thing, yes. However, nothing but good can come of it.

If you need anything at all or would like a spiritual mentor, I would love to help you out. Feel free to message me anytime. Be blessed

PropheticTimes · Apr 28, 2017

Dear one, I know your plight as I have been in it. Allow me to give you these two things, which have helped me greatly -

--1--
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

--2--
8Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Philippians 4:8

The enemy is filling your head with lies and worry. Don't think about what is whispered in your ear. Fill yourself with happy things (watch comedies, listen to music that makes you dance or feel happy, praise God and thank Him for the smallest good thing you see throughout your day, like a butterfly flitting past you or a gentle breeze).

If you fill your mind with good, the not so good has no room to romp.
Feed the right wolf, and your perspective will change.

Prayers for you.

danstribe · Apr 28, 2017

DeerGlow said:
The point is that it's not that easy. It's like the interstates where I live, you go on one and the exits are in the several hundreds but take the wrong one and you're on the other interstate going the wrong way with single and double digit exits and I can never navigate that one. It takes a long time to get to an exit from the second where you can find a place to get on the first again.

Now I can definitely feel for you! I lived in Dallas/Ft Worth for 11 years and hated every minute. I had a phobia of driving before moving there but I had to drive those freeways, I was a single mom and no family there. I survived with God's help but I had to jump in and do it.
Your fears of being left behind or of not being approved by God the Father are not based on truth, Just the fact that you are heart broken over "THINKING" such things is your proof that you have not committed the unpardonable sin. The Apostle Paul said that even the things he didn't want to do he did and the things he wanted to do he didn't. His answer was that in his heart and mind he longed to obey God, to do the things that pleased God but physically he was weak and did the things that were wrong. Even so he said that Christ was there to forgive and restore him to God's good graces.
You are correct that you are not worthy, I am not worthy, no one is worthy, to be saved but because Christ came and lived and then died for us to be worthy...we are now worthy. You are afraid that maybe your baptism didn't take? I can tell you for certain, if God's Spirit is not working in your heart and mind you would not be thinking about Him or wanting to please Him. Your proof is in your mind and in your thoughts.
Now God may have you prepared enough to move on and understand and accept His comfort to KNOW He is real and He loves you and He already has a place for you that no one can take away and you can't worry it away either. God is smiling at you and teaching you how to be still and calm.

Greg Merrill · Apr 28, 2017

DeerGlow said:
I talk to other people and give all sorts of advice and fear that I myself am not saved. I am afraid of committing Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, apostasy (I came to Christ at a young age and had amazing supernatural experiences, then around sixteen became depressed, had doubts, and wondered if I had hallucinated everything since I have unconfirmed but a high likelyhood of schizophrenia.), or by cursing Jesus. That one verse about no one can say Jesus is Lord but by the HS.... and my brain went overboard with that so I'll constantly have cursing thoughts and sometimes I have said it out loud not meaning to say anything. I fear that marks me unsaved. I am afraid of being one of the foolish virgins who ran out of oil, the seeds that were choked by thorns, or tares to be rooted from the wheat and burned.

Edit: Also the many will go astray after doctrines of devils and the itching ears thing.

Edit 2: Also I fear the mark of the beast. Thoughts of I accept ____ and I worship ____ pop into my head.

One could go on and on in this vein of thinking, or simply turn to one verse and nail the subject down for good.
There are a number of verses that could be that one verse for you (Jn 1:12; 3:16; 5:24; 6:47; etc.) but the verse I first think of is 1Jn 1:12. "He that hath the Son hath life, and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life. Have you ever trusted and called on Jesus to save you from your sins, thereby receiving eternal life that cannot be lost, or not? Yes or no, period. Decide to trust what God says based upon all these verses I have given you, and so many more that you can read, and quit the debate of "Am I saved or Not" once and for all.

friend of · Apr 28, 2017

But you haven't fallen away and that's why you're here. Have faith that Christ Jesus purchased you with His blood.

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