Feel like a hypocrite

[DeerGlow]

I talk to other people and give all sorts of advice and fear that I myself am not saved. I am afraid of committing Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, apostasy (I came to Christ at a young age and had amazing supernatural experiences, then around sixteen became depressed, had doubts, and wondered if I had hallucinated everything since I have unconfirmed but a high likelyhood of schizophrenia.), or by cursing Jesus. That one verse about no one can say Jesus is Lord but by the HS.... and my brain went overboard with that so I'll constantly have cursing thoughts and sometimes I have said it out loud not meaning to say anything. I fear that marks me unsaved. I am afraid of being one of the foolish virgins who ran out of oil, the seeds that were choked by thorns, or tares to be rooted from the wheat and burned.

Edit: Also the many will go astray after doctrines of devils and the itching ears thing.

Edit 2: Also I fear the mark of the beast. Thoughts of I accept ____ and I worship ____ pop into my head.

 

[stuart lawrence]

I talk to other people and give all sorts of advice and fear that I myself am not saved. I am afraid of committing Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, apostasy (I came to Christ at a young age and had amazing supernatural experiences, then around sixteen became depressed, had doubts, and wondered if I had hallucinated everything since I have unconfirmed but a high likelyhood of schizophrenia.), or by cursing Jesus. That one verse about no one can say Jesus is Lord but by the HS.... and my brain went overboard with that so I'll constantly have cursing thoughts and sometimes I have said it out loud not meaning to say anything. I fear that marks me unsaved. I am afraid of being one of the foolish virgins who ran out of oil, the seeds that were choked by thorns, or tares to be rooted from the wheat and burned.

Do you find, the more fearful you are of committing an unpardonable sin, the more thoughts you have concerning such sin?

 

[DeerGlow]

Do you find, the more fearful you are of committing an unpardonable sin, the more thoughts you have concerning such sin?

Sometimes and sometimes it's out of the blue. But I said things once because I was so tired in every way. I was up every night at awful hours in the bathroom trying not to throw up. I wanted it to be over so I said it. I wish I could undo it but I can't undo anything. I don't get a do-over.

 

[brinny]

Bless yer heart, the enemy is messin' with you, precious. He's just a'stompin' on all of yer insecurities and doubts and hopin' that all the ruckus he's causin' will distract you and get your attention just on him.

Pause, be still (as much as possible, dear heart), breeeeeeathe nice n' slow, and focus on GOD'S promises to you, a dear dear and precious daughter of the Most High God, who is STILL very much beloved and in our Father's grip.

He LOVES you. TRUST Him (even when it's hardest to), and in the meantime i'm praying for you.

We all struggle with what you described, precious. Hang in there. Praying, luv (((hug)))

 

[DeerGlow]

Bless yer heart, the enemy is messin' with you, precious. He's just a'stompin' on all of yer insecurities and doubts and hopin' that all the ruckus he's causin' will distract you and get your attention just on him.

Pause, be still (as much as possible, dear heart), breeeeeeathe nice n' slow, and focus on GOD'S promises to you, a dear dear and precious daughter of the Most High God, who is STILL very much beloved and in our Father's grip.

He LOVES you. TRUST Him (even when it's hardest to), and in the meantime i'm praying for you.

We all struggle with what you described, precious. Hang in there. Praying, luv (((hug)))

But if I'm unsaved/can't be saved, are those promises even for me? Fearful expectation of fiery judgement seems to be the only promise surely there.

 

[brinny]

But if I'm unsaved/can't be saved, are those promises even for me? Fearful expectation of fiery judgement seems to be the only promise surely there.

Yes, precious. God's grace supersedes all our bumbles, stumbles, angst-es-es, worries, and imperfections, and the attacks from the enemy....

Praying, precious (((hug)))

 

[stuart lawrence]

Sometimes and sometimes it's out of the blue. But I said things once because I was so tired in every way. I was up every night at awful hours in the bathroom trying not to throw up. I wanted it to be over so I said it. I wish I could undo it but I can't undo anything. I don't get a do-over.

If I said to you:
If you think of a pink rabbit you will be condemned to hell

What is the first thought that would come into your head if you believed me?
My guess is, it wouldn't be long before thoughts of such a creature would ever be before your eyes, no matter how frantically you tried to stop such thoughts. You would fight a losing battle.
However, as you know you will not be condemned if you think of such a creature, you don't get all worked up about it do you, and thoughts of a pink rabbit never cross your mind( hope they dont now lol)

Consequently, if you live in fear of cursing Jesus/ committing apostasy/ blaspheming the Holy Spirit, for you believe that will bring condemnation to you, what thoughts are going to come to you, and eventually consume you, despite you not wanting them to?

 

[DeerGlow]

If I said to you:
If you think of a pink rabbit you will be condemned to hell

What is the first thought that would come into your head if you believed me?
My guess is, it wouldn't be long before thoughts of such a creature would ever be before your eyes, no matter how frantically you tried to stop such thoughts. You would fight a losing battle.
However, as you know you will not be condemned if you think of such a creature, you don't all worked up about it do you, and thoughts of a pink rabbit never cross your mind( hope they do t now lol)

Consequently, if you live in fear of cursing Jesus/ committing apostasy/ blaspheming the Holy Spirit, for you believe that will bring condemnation to you, what thoughts are going to come to you, and eventually consume you, despite you not wanting them to?

But there's so many things in the bible suggestion you can lose salvation. How can I have any comfort? Like my pastor said there is comfort in mourning for a believer's family but you can't lie and say an unbeliever's okay. I know he thinks I'm okay but I have the image in my head of him at my funeral saying "We know [DeerGlow] was a believer and is in heaven with Jesus." and me being in the fires screaming and crying.

 

[stuart lawrence]

But there's so many things in the bible suggestion you can lose salvation. How can I have any comfort? Like my pastor said there is comfort in mourning for a believer's family but you can't lie and say an unbeliever's okay. I know he thinks I'm okay but I have the image in my head of him at my funeral saying "We know [DeerGlow] was a believer and is in heaven with Jesus." and me being in the fires screaming and crying.

The more you fear certain thoughts will send you to hell, the more those thoughts will grow in you.
We could painstakingly go over why this is the truth according to the Apostle Paul's message, but I hope you believe me, it is the truth

 

[stuart lawrence]

The more you fear certain thoughts or actions will condemn you/ stop you being saved, the greater the pull to do those things, or have the thoughts you fear will bring condemnation to you

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

No thought has power over you that you don't give it. Feed your mind life not death.

 

[DeerGlow]

The more you fear certain thoughts or actions will condemn you/ stop you being saved, the greater the pull to do those things, or have the thoughts you fear will bring condemnation to you

No thought has power over you that you don't give it. Feed your mind life not death.

People tell me that but how can I feel safe against the bible's warnings and punishments?

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

People tell me that but how can I feel safe against the bible's warnings and punishments?

You should heed the warning but not obsess over it.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

It would be like being aware theres a 1 in 18k chance of dying in a car accident so you avoid driving or drive with fear. It would be counterproductive.

 

[stuart lawrence]

Think of Saul the Pharisee. He was the most ardent of pharisees. He must obey the law or be condemned. Heaven or hell hinged on a righteousness of observing the law.
The pinnacle of that law was the Ten Commandments. He would have feared failure to obey that law would condemn him.
One of those TC was: Thou shalt not covet. And so Saul the Pharisee would have feared condemnation if he did not obey that commandment. What was the result of his fear of condemnation if he failed to obey: Thou shalt not covet?

He became full of all manner of concupiscence.

He became utterly sinful in regard to that commandment

 

[DeerGlow]

It would be like being aware theres a 1 in 18k chance of dying in a car accident so you avoid driving or drive with fear. It would be counterproductive.

It's a lot more likely to end up in hell than a car accident. I drive defensively like I know what to do in a lot of situations but spiritually it's like being blindfolded on the interstate with the music blaring and trying to get off at the right exit.

 

[DeerGlow]

Think of Saul the Pharisee. He was the most ardent of pharisees. He must obey the law or be condemned. Heaven or hell hinged on a righteousness of observing the law.
The pinnacle of that law was the Ten Commandments. He would have feared failure to obey that law would condemn him.
One of those TC was: Thou shalt not covet. And so Saul the Pharisee would have feared condemnation if he did not obey that commandment. What was the result of his fear of condemnation if he failed to obey: Thou shalt not covet?

He became full of all manner of concupiscence.

He became utterly sinful in regard to that commandment

That doesn't make the unforgivable sin less unforgivable. And apostasy....

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

That doesn't make the unforgivable sin less unforgivable. And apostasy....

Well you have a lot of doubt involving this but how do you know you are guilty of it? What makes you more sure you aren't saved than you are?

 

[stuart lawrence]

People tell me that but how can I feel safe against the bible's warnings and punishments?

That doesn't make the unforgivable sin less unforgivable. And apostasy....

The point is this. The bible states you have a righteousness/ justification before God of faith in Christ. But your righteousness in your eyes must be what stops you being condemned. Therefore, if you fear apostasy will send you to hell. Your righteousness is not committing apostasy. It is not therefore faith in Christ

 

[DeerGlow]

Well you have a lot of doubt involving this but how do you know you are guilty of it? What makes you more sure you aren't saved than you are?

The bible is very clear about people who will seem saved and fall away. I should have known but I went to other things for comfort. I still get tempted by them sometimes, like the peace I felt from Taoism and I go on Netflix binges to avoid fear sometimes. I make myself read a chapter every day and it's hard but doesn't seem to be enough. I feel like a fake, baseless Christian.