Failing Faith

[Bluelion]

When i was young i listen to a song One by Metallica. i like the song never thought about the words until i was older, early 20's. The song is about a soldier who had his arms and leg blown off by a land mine and took his sight, hearing, speech, well everything really. So he is laying there trapped in his body. There is a video which shows all this and i watched again to night, which challenge my faith, and here is why. I heard a Vietnam vet speak at a college graduation, He was award all kinds of metals. He spoke of one time he was shot up and laying on the table at the hospital and he recalls a nurse crying out to God why do you do this to these men. There was a man laying next to him as he look over who had his legs and arms blown off. So you see the song one does happen in modern war. In fact the song was based on a book which was based on a Canadian soldier during world war 2 who had everything blown off, he lost his sight, hearing, speech too. The prime minster went to visit him, the guy could not do any thing and probably did not know who was in the room. Think of that being trapped in your body laying in bed, in darkness. Praying for death.

Now I know that is evil, evil did that to these people. God is God He does not need to do such things to punish some one.

I spent a time in my life where I had visions of hell and heaven, but mostly hell. I heard people being tormented day and night by demons. Now I am aware this is not true. I don't think demons are in charge in hell. Still the spirits I was dealing with at the time showed me many lies, which were unspeakable. One time when I was attack by a demon he tried sawing off my limbs, Jesus came right through me at that point. Demons love to tell me that is what will happen to me. I must admit it does challenge my faith. You don't have to go to war any more to get your arms and legs blown off any more. Look what happen in Boston. This Is what evil is and what evil does.

As i watched this video One looking at my fears, my heart broke, but something happen. I started to feel anger deep in side me, not human anger, but righteous anger. Anger at evil. I must admit i thought about how I give in to easy to sin. And that when i sin I partake in evil. I am apart of that. It made me angry. I don't want to have anything to do with evil. I know what evil is and how deep it runs. I wish i was a baby again and did not know such things, and I hope one day I can forget that I ever new them.

How do you have faith and courage in the face of a fate worse than death. It is not easy, but some where deep inside me I want to fight back. I know Jesus would come if I ever found my self in such a place. Doesn't make it easier to face but it is a comfort.

I am going to see if I can live Holy, cut out sin, because i want no part in evil. I mean i have been trying, but often when faced with temptation i just rolled over, its no wonder the same temptations kept coming, because I am stronger than that. Elijah was a man Just like me, He had a sinful nature yet he walked so close with God, God called Him Up to Heaven with out him tasting death. I have some great that Elijah did not have in his day. The completed work of Jesus Christ on the cross. So why with Jesus can I not be like Elijah?

There is to much fighting among Christians, why? Either your for Good or against it. It is that simple. If your a child of God Live like one act Like one Love everyone, that is what Jesus said to do. Sure i am guilty of Not acting Like God's child, maybe I am the worst of all. God told me what to do In His Word to make a stand. I am going to make the stand, pick up my cross.

What challenge my Faith has left me angry at evil. God brings forth Good from evil.

any thoughts?

Peace and Love
blu

 

[USCGrad90]

Blue - I really appreciate all of your posts. You have an insight that I find useful and always offer practical and scripturally based responses.

I agree that the bad things we see happen in war are based on the choices of men and are influenced by evil. We can choose to make war or be at peace. I am saddened by the events in the Ukraine and Israel.

We have a mission team that annually goes to the Ukraine to work with a local Pastor and orphans. It is heartbreaking to see how children are discarded because of imperfection or lack of responsibility by their parents. I am not sure how the fighting will affect our team's plans.

One question I have is on your comments of Hell. Are you saying that you do not believe in a literal eternal punishment and separation from God and consignment to Hell for the unrighteous?

[I]Finally, be strengthened by the Lord and by His vast strength. 11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can stand against the tactics[a] of the Devil. 12 For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the world powers of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens. [/I]
Ephesians 6:10-12 (HCSB)

 

[Bluelion]

Blue - I really appreciate all of your posts. You have an insight that I find useful and always offer practical and scripturally based responses.

I agree that the bad things we see happen in war are based on the choices of men and are influenced by evil. We can choose to make war or be at peace. I am saddened by the events in the Ukraine and Israel.

We have a mission team that annually goes to the Ukraine to work with a local Pastor and orphans. It is heartbreaking to see how children are discarded because of imperfection or lack of responsibility by their parents. I am not sure how the fighting will affect our team's plans.

One question I have is on your comments of Hell. Are you saying that you do not believe in a literal eternal punishment and separation from God and consignment to Hell for the unrighteous?

[I]Finally, be strengthened by the Lord and by His vast strength. 11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can stand against the tactics[a] of the Devil. 12 For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the world powers of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens. [/I]
Ephesians 6:10-12 (HCSB)

well thank you very much

There is so much war now in the world and to think of the horrors these people go through. It is challenging to a persons faith.


I know there is a hell, i can not even say it is a belief but something I know to be fact. I do think the lake of fire the final Hell fallen angels are not in charge, but God runs it. I really don't want to know what peoples punishment is there. I know it is a place where a soul is cut off from God forever.

I don't know why some people don't think there is a hell, we can be in hell right here on earth, we see people in hell right here on earth, and while it is not the lake of fire it is a hell.

 

[th1bill]

Hi Blue,
I'm sorry to hear you vocalize your battle and happy to see you seek the support of the brethren at the same time. As a Vietnam Veteran fought for two reasons;
1. The freedom of the little people they deserved
2. the security of the United States.

In the commission of my duties I should never have seen the things I did. I was not the Crew Chief of a Med Evac but did instead crew a Close Combat Support Helicopter, 67806, and as such, when Med Evac refused to and because of a Fire Fight, the Spades were often called on to fill the gap and we did so because somebody was dying and needed to get out of there.

In that vein I saw men with their legs blown off with various means of warfare, holding their intestines in their arms with a wet towel and had a baby, less than 6 months old die in my arms as we carried the little guy to the hospital.

I found my best friend with his torso at the end of his bunk, arms and legs in various parts of the squad tent and his head staring at me from the 105mm Shell Case he used as his book stand. I take meds that have reduced the dreams I own today but, on occasion, I still awaken my wife crying in my sleep or screaming for her to get into the d___ hole before they kill her.

I have grown strong because of where I was and because of the evil I have been subjected to. When I was not walking with God I responded with like evil and they told me I enjoyed killing the enemy, I, to this day, have lost those three months and I sure that is a blessing from God. Walking with God has strengthened me and I cannot do the things I found normal then and the fact that you are reviled by just the thoughts is a blessed thing and to be built upon.

You, with prayer and subjection to God will grow to be a mighty warrior for good because of your feelings and I urge you to pray and to study the Old Testament accounts of David, there you will find peace.

 

[Bluelion]

Hi Blue,
I'm sorry to hear you vocalize your battle and happy to see you seek the support of the brethren at the same time. As a Vietnam Veteran fought for two reasons;
1. The freedom of the little people they deserved
2. the security of the United States.

In the commission of my duties I should never have seen the things I did. I was not the Crew Chief of a Med Evac but did instead crew a Close Combat Support Helicopter, 67806, and as such, when Med Evac refused to and because of a Fire Fight, the Spades were often called on to fill the gap and we did so because somebody was dying and needed to get out of there.

In that vein I saw men with their legs blown off with various means of warfare, holding their intestines in their arms with a wet towel and had a baby, less than 6 months old die in my arms as we carried the little guy to the hospital.

I found my best friend with his torso at the end of his bunk, arms and legs in various parts of the squad tent and his head staring at me from the 105mm Shell Case he used as his book stand. I take meds that have reduced the dreams I own today but, on occasion, I still awaken my wife crying in my sleep or screaming for her to get into the d___ hole before they kill her.

I have grown strong because of where I was and because of the evil I have been subjected to. When I was not walking with God I responded with like evil and they told me I enjoyed killing the enemy, I, to this day, have lost those three months and I sure that is a blessing from God. Walking with God has strengthened me and I cannot do the things I found normal then and the fact that you are reviled by just the thoughts is a blessed thing and to be built upon.

You, with prayer and subjection to God will grow to be a mighty warrior for good because of your feelings and I urge you to pray and to study the Old Testament accounts of David, there you will find peace.

Thank you bill for replying. You have seen the horrors first hand. I am glad you have seem to have found peace. I see I am not Brave. God give me strength to do things or else i would do nothing good I am sure.

I just can't get the thoughts out of my head, This is what evil does to people, and it makes me angry. I want no part of evil. One day it will be gone. Thrown in the Lake of fire.

Thanks again Bill, much respect goes out to you.

 

[GoingByzantine]

I'm not Baptist, but I sneak in here and read your posts Blue, really good stuff.

Makes me reflect on my life, my own beliefs, and on the fundamentals of Christianity.

 

[Bluelion]

I'm not Baptist, but I sneak in here and read your posts Blue, really good stuff.

Makes me reflect on my life, my own beliefs, and on the fundamentals of Christianity.

Thank you, I am Glad some one reads them