Exhibitionism

[Force Recon]

I have struggled with exhibitionism my whole life.
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I believe my exhibitionism can be traced to my childhood. My mother abandoned me at a young age, and my father who raised me was an abusive, neglecting alcoholic. I didn't get enought attention as a child.

At the root of my exhibitionist fantasies is a lie. What is the lie and what is the cure?

I'm embarrassed about sharing this, but perhaps some of you can give me good insight into my problem.

 

[drich0150]

First things first. You must want change, want it so badly you'll do anything. When you fell you have reached that point, then you must seek professional help. The reason being is because there are way too many reasons something like this can manifest itself in a persons life, and with out a trained professional leading the interview and guiding you along setting responsible and reasonable goals for the long and short term, then you and this whole process can take a nasty turn for the worse.

This needs to be treated as a chemical dependency rather than a social quirk if you wish to see change.

 

[Angeldove97]

Please talk to a counselor or pastor about this issue that you're dealing with. I'm very sorry to hear about what you went through in your childhood, but you don't need to let your past rule how you leave your life now--- something that I'm personally dealing with (though God blessed me with two parents who do love me very much, even though their love is flawed at times).

If you feel that you need attention in your life, please realize that every human being needs attention--- we have a basic need of love and socializing to be happy and healthy. Understanding that there are dangers in needing too much or too little attention (or of anything for that matter) is where we need to focus our attention on.

What can YOU do to have the attention and love that you need as a human being while not partaking in exhibitionist type activities? Perhaps if you could choose some social events that could focus on your hobbies, interests, religious, or education, it would take away time spent from less positive attention-getting activities.

 

[visionary]

Is there some other talent that you have.. like painting .. taking photos.. writing stories.. singing songs, .. playing an instrument... that you could master and excel at.. You have a need for attention and sadly learned that exhibitionism works to get it. What you need are other ways.. and better yet learn that you don't need the attention, you now crave.

I use to crave attention, but the attention I got was not good. It became distasteful and I lost the desire for attention. It was them I began a journey to discovery myself. and who I really am. I didin't need their attention any more. As I discovery the real me and foudn value in who I really am and what I could do... I got attention for that... and it was good attention, the kind that really satisfies. I was content in myself first... then in others.. no matter what they said..

 

[Johnnz]

There will be some inner messages driving your behaviour. Possibly,

"I am worthless, no one really loves me" So you try and get recognition

You might blame yourself for your parent's behaviour. You might feel 'unconnected' with anyone, or even about being here - you feel inwardly lost and alone.

You desperately want to know that you are loved and special to someone.

So, you do things to achieve recognition and hopefully acceptance.

John
NZ

 

[visionary]

There will be some inner messages driving your behaviour. Possibly,

"I am worthless, no one really loves me" So you try and get recognition

You might blame yourself for your parent's behaviour. You might feel 'unconnected' with anyone, or even about being here - you feel inwardly lost and alone.

You desperately want to know that you are loved and special to someone.

So, you do things to achieve recognition and hopefully acceptance.

John
NZ

while he may have identified and articulated what you are dealing with.. there is nothing in this message to help you. Recognition of whar drives you to do the things you do is a start. Getting help and inner strength to change is the next step. One of the best things about a new life is that it is brand new and you do not have to do anything in the old life again. You can recreate yourself. That takes some serious determined well thought and planned and executed work.