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Examining the Save 3ABN Website

Discussion in 'Traditional Adventists' started by DarylFawcett, Feb 14, 2007.

  1. djconklin

    djconklin Moderate SDA

    +19
    Protestant
    Single
    I have been with counsellors who were highly skilled and very professional and quite helpful (not all are). I would not be so caviliar in dismissing them.

    Thankfully, I have never been abused or raped. But, I can listen with a caring heart and be very empathetic. But, since I'm going to be condemned at the outset as a "joke" and "incompetent" it makes me very reticent to even bother to try.

    It sounds more like you are lashing out in pain because you have not found anyone who will listen to you. Unfortunately, because, at least in part, "the medium is the message" in your lashing out you are driving away the very people who could help you.
     
  2. dclem

    dclem Member

    63
    +4
    Baptist
    Single
    US-Republican
    This is exactly why counselors can't help. They always think they can somehow see the "real reason" someone acts the way they do. It is very arrogant to have the attitude of "well, I've never been through it, but I know how to help."

    God allows us to go through certain things in our lives so we can help others with the same problem. NOWHERE in the Bible does He give us permission to go to the world for counsel.

    I have had 3 kids in my youth group ruined by counselors. They had problems in public school and would have loved to home school. The parents called counselors and it was very obvious that the counselors had only one goal: Keep that child in public school at ANY cost. One girl was even sent to the psych ward twice, drugged up, and sent back home to return to school. None of the three are in church today.

    No, I don't trust counselors unless they have had life experience in what they're dealing with. Even then, I want Biblical based counsel and not the junk taught in colleges today.

    As far as driving away those who could "help" me, I don't think that's anyone else's call to make. God is helping me just fine.
     
  3. djconklin

    djconklin Moderate SDA

    +19
    Protestant
    Single
    There may be some who think that way. And maybe all of the one's you met think that way. But, it is not true to make it out like all of them think like that. We were taught to try to understand, not to make leaps to judgments.
     
  4. dclem

    dclem Member

    63
    +4
    Baptist
    Single
    US-Republican
    I notice you didn't touch the rest of my post.
     
  5. Jimlarmore

    Jimlarmore Senior Veteran

    +47
    SDA
    The reality of the whole situation is you probably don't either. As a victim you can't self diagnose all of your symptoms to be associated with this or that event. You are feeling things you don't understand and experiencing things you can't explain to others, even other abuse victims.

    I know what you mean by believing that no one knows or understands if they haven't been a sexual abuse victim. I felt that way as a war veteran for a long time and still do to a certain degree. I have in the past always thought that if you weren't a combat Viet Nam veteran ( especially a grunt ) you couldn't possibly understand what I went thru over there. Even though this is true what I have found is there are people that can help me thru the problems I am having and help me to live as normal a life as possible.

    There are some bad docs/counselors out there ,,, there's no questioning that, but you can't judge all of them for the actions of a few. Try to find someone you can relate to and trust. It sounds to me like you are full of rage right now and you certainly don't want any councelling. That is normal to an extent but you can let that problem and this state of mind control and rule your life from here on out if your not careful. Is that what you want? Aren't you tired of being miserable? I can tell you this much,,, until you get where you can get rid of the rage you will not progress towards a healing condition where you can experience peace in your heart. The past is gone and even though it's left you some pretty bad wounds/scars you are going to have to learn to let it go. The criminal act that has scarred you cannot be undone but the power of Christ and good councelling can help you to deal with it so you can find peace.

    I will pray for you:

    Holy Father we lift up our brother DClem to you Lord. He's hurting a lot right now Lord for some bad things that's happened to him. Lord I ask you to give him peace in his heart. Take away this hurt and turmoil that he has and replace it with your love and kindness. Let him shine for Your glory Lord and stand with the faithful when you come in the clouds of glory.

    Amen

    God Bless you brother
    Jim Larmore
     
  6. dclem

    dclem Member

    63
    +4
    Baptist
    Single
    US-Republican
    Jim, I appreciate the prayer and concern. I really mean that sincerely. However, the "rage" you're perceiving wasn't there until I got a barrage of suggestions that I "need" counseling. I'm not saying it was from you, but I got it and am still getting it from all sides. I AM NOT going to go to a professional counselor. Period. Off the table.

    To me, when someone tells me I "need" counseling it's an insult to me and a slap in the face of Almighty God. Aside from a counselor being arrogant enough to suggest that they can help me when they have had no life experience, a lot of professional counseling and psychiatric techniques come from Buddhism and Zen (check it out). People had better wake up and realize what they're messing with when they go to a professional counselor or psychiatrist. I don't need someone who has read a few books on the subject to listen to me tell how I'm feeling. That's what God and Christian friends are for. Also, I believe that God is going to use this to help me minister to the young people I work with at church. I'm not thankful it happened, but I am thankful that some good can possibly come out of it.

    Yes, I'm mad right now, but it took getting mad for me to be able to speak out. I held it in for 21 years, and other have been hurt since then. I'm mad at myself for keeping quiet, I'm mad at Tommy for doing it, I'm mad at Glenn Dryden for sticking his nose in where it didn't belong, but most of all I'm mad at Satan who is the one who caused it all. I've declared war on him and I am working harder than ever to help my teenagers make it through life and live for God.

    Again, I do thank you for the prayers. I'll take all of those I can get. That's the ONLY thing that can help.

    Thank you.
     
  7. Cliff2

    Cliff2 Well-Known Member

    +51
    SDA
    I have been following this issue now for a number of months.

    So let's get it straight.

    Are you saying that you were abused by Tommy S.

    Now if you are then obviously there are processes in place where you can go and have that addressed.

    It needs to be done ASAP.

    Not just for you but so he is not able to abuse others.
     
  8. Jimlarmore

    Jimlarmore Senior Veteran

    +47
    SDA
    I used to feel that way too. I agree that if you allow the Lord to reign in your heart that He will take care of any problems you may have. Sometimes we have problems and don't even realize it. The symptoms come on so slowly we just accept what we are feeling and experiencing as normal. I can't say anything about you from here but to my way of thinking if you have a lot of folks telling you that you need councelling then there probably is a reason for that. They may be seeing something in you that you don't right now. BTW, there are good Christian councelors or pastors that can councel you as well. It's for sure no one can make you go and get help. As far as the Buddhism and Zen techniques used to help folks, I'm sure you are probably correct about that in some cases. However, I have never experienced that myself in the councelors I've went to. Maybe that kind of technique doesn't work on shell shocked war veterans.

    God has a ministry for all of us and He may indeed use you in this capacity. Pray for the Holy Spirit to guide you on this and He will. I'm proud of you for being willing to help those who may be suffering like you are/were.


    God Bless
    Jim Larmore
     
  9. DarylFawcett

    DarylFawcett Ticket Support Manager | HR Manager Staff Member Site Advisor Supporter

    +3,383
    Canada
    SDA
    Married
  10. Jimlarmore

    Jimlarmore Senior Veteran

    +47
    SDA
    This site only has one victims statement. I thought there were three victims. Also I noticed that actual sexual contact had not been made with the one making this statement above. The degree of harm goes way down when the abuse is only verbal/sexually suggestive and not physical. Don't take me wrong here, both of them are a crime and punishable under the law.

    BTW, why was Tommy a church of God minister? Wasn't he raised adventist? Just curious.

    God Bless
    Jim Larmore
     
  11. dclem

    dclem Member

    63
    +4
    Baptist
    Single
    US-Republican
    When I tell people what happened to me, many times the first thing out of their mouth is "Are you getting counseling?" or "What counselor are you seeing?" THAT'S what ticks me off. It's just automatic to run to a counselor. Ridiculous.

    I do have Christian friends I can talk to who have actually experienced sexual abuse in their past. They'll be a lot more help than some know-it-all looking to make a quick buck off my perceived suffering.

    Again, thank you for your prayers. It really means a lot. I appreciate it.
     
  12. DarylFawcett

    DarylFawcett Ticket Support Manager | HR Manager Staff Member Site Advisor Supporter

    +3,383
    Canada
    SDA
    Married
  13. CarletonWomack

    CarletonWomack New Member

    2
    +0
    Christian
    Single
    Those interested in understanding these matters should visit the savegailon website and review the page on Tommy Shelton there.
     
  14. Pickle

    Pickle Active Member

    515
    +16
    SDA
  15. dclem

    dclem Member

    63
    +4
    Baptist
    Single
    US-Republican
    Why? There's no truth there.
     
  16. honorthesabbath

    honorthesabbath Senior Veteran

    +70
    SDA
    Married
    US-Constitution
    I'm pretty appalled that everyone in here are calling the accusers, 'victims'. LEGALLY speaking until there has been a trial Shelton is NOT an abuser and dclem is NOT a victim.

    Let's not forget our very important Constitutional right of being innocent until PROVEN guilty folks! I am very troubled by our society that has become so judgmental when an accusation has been made.

    If we claim to follow the laws of God--even His law DEMANDS THREE -3-eyewitnesses before someone can be condemned. Let's not forget that if we have been wronged by someone, it is US who then chose to be the eternal 'victim'.

    So unless the accusers can PROVE that TS harmed them in some way--then they need to step down.
     
  17. dclem

    dclem Member

    63
    +4
    Baptist
    Single
    US-Republican
    I have a better idea. Unless you have been personally affected by this, why don't you keep out of it? It's really easy to come in here and condemn me and others anonymously, isn't it? I use my name because I have nothing to hide. It's strange that TS's defenders never want to do that.
     
  18. NightEternal

    NightEternal Evangelical SDA

    +119
    Christian
    Married
    CA-Conservatives
    Some people are so quick to give the benefit of the doubt and show infinite tolerance and patience in cases such as these-until it is someone they love or that they are close to that has been violated. Then we hear a different tune coming from thier lips. Then the trial and conviction can't come fast enough.

    So much for bleeding heart liberalism.

    If I suspect Tommy Shelton has abused someone close to me, he is going down. I would expect no less for anyone else who he has victimized.
     
  19. Cliff2

    Cliff2 Well-Known Member

    +51
    SDA
    Jim

    I think along the same lines as you do. A person can go to certain SDA Forums and it is full of hate against 3ABN. They all want Tommy S. sent to goal but if the victims will not come forward then what can the police do?
     
  20. dclem

    dclem Member

    63
    +4
    Baptist
    Single
    US-Republican
    Have you ever been sexually abused? Do you have any idea how hard it is to come forward?

    BTW, more than one victim DID come forward when it happened, but he was always able to avoid being charged somehow. That's another reason so many other victims have kept quiet for so long.

    Also, can you tell me where I ever said I hate 3ABN, or Tommy for that matter?
     
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