Empty nest question

[miss-a]

Okay, I have no kids so I'm reallly at a loss with my friend. I've advised her to talk with other ladies who have been through empty nest, but for reasons I don't understand she won't.

Tonight she asked me to pray for her that she wouldn't be sad that her daughter is leaving. She wants to be happy for her.

I'm at a loss gang. I'm not the one she should be talking to, but I seem to be the only one she will talk to. My guess is she should be sad and go through a normal grief process. Any thoughts on how a Christian mom handles empty nest. What's normal, what to expect, etc.?

Thanks in advance,
a

 

[blackribbon]

She just needs someone to listen to her talk about it. She doesn't need advice. She needs a friend with a loving ear. She picked you for some reason so it sounds to me like she trusts you with her private thoughts.

 

[dayhiker]

Ya, its a sad and joyous time. But since its a normal departure it will be so nice when she comes back home to visit.

Pretty soon the parent will be lonely, have extra time, realize they have to find another reason to live. So a plan for what they will do with the rest of their life. What hobbies, what church activities, find new friends, travel, get more exercise? Maybe even work hard to pay of debts and save for retirement. All things that need to be thought thru, prayed about and maybe even over come fears that have been avoided while being there for ones kids. Or maybe they have already done that work and its a short time to feel their child growing up and then move into what God has already prepared then for.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Yeah I agree with dayhiker, it's kind of like when some people retire (not that I would know) they say they don't know what they will do with all their time and then some of those same people say they are SO busy after retirement, they don't know how they ever had time to work before LOL. My friend has cancer and no longer works at a job, but she is busy busy busy all the time. Not too overloaded, but she is just making sure she enjoys her life. My aunt is so busy since she retired I can hardly get ahold of her!
With kids leaving, it is a bittersweet thing. You want for your kids to grow up and be successful and experience life, just like you did, but you are afraid you won't see them much and they will forget about you, which just isn't true if you cultivated a good relationship. And you must let them go and get on with the plan God has for their life. This is not good bye it's just a new chapter in their lives. And once they see their child outside the home and successful, they will be happy and the relationship between them will change again, but this time it will be that they are older and now realize all that you have done to get them where they are and they hopefully will have a new appreciation and admiration for your motherhood.
Maybe God is prompting you to be there for this lady because you don't have kids and you can be there to make sure she isn't lonely while going thru this transition. Schedule more get togethers with her if possible, or give her ideas if you can't be a part of it, but let her know that she is not alone and you are right there with her and for her.

 

[miss-a]

Thanks, gang! That really helps. I so appreciate you all!

 

[dayhiker]

we're glad your here also miss-a