Empathy

[Introverted1293]

I don't fully understand how people think sometimes.

I have a lot of empathy towards the human race, even though I am unsocial. I hate human suffering. When it comes to murder or accidental manslaughter, I always feel terrible for the victim that lost his life.

Most people have empathy, but their empathy is limited. For example, most people have more empathy when a little child (boy or girl) gets hurt, then when an adult man gets hurt. Most people would rather see a man get hit in the face then a woman get hit in the face. But I hate to see both men and women get hit in the face. I have the same reaction when a man gets hit in the face then I do when a woman gets hit in the face.

But my empathy is out of control. For example, if there was a situation (which there would never be) where I had to choose between whose life had to be spared between a 30 year old man or a 7 year old little girl, I could not choose, whereas most people would rather spare the little girl. Because I have this attitude that a 30 year old man's life is just as important as the little girl's life.

There was a story of a little girl who killed her entire adopted family due to the abuse she endured from her biological family. She killed her adopted brother who did nothing to her. But before she killed her brother, she would be very abusive to him. She would hit and smash his head against a pavement. She also shoots her parents.

They did not do the abuse. They loved her. But she was affected by her past.

After reading this story, I read the comments on Facebook. Most people were so sympathetic towards the little girl, which sadden me a little. Because their sympathy towards the little girl seems to be an insensitivity towards those she killed. And the few people who were upset that this little girl who is now living a normal life as a nurse, and who got help for her mental illness, were called names and people.

I don't fully understand how the human brain works sometimes. Even though I don't believe that she should be executed or anything, I still wish there was justice for the families' death. Her living a normal life doesn't seem like justice.

But I know I could be wrong.

I guess people who were upset that this little girl is living a normal life put themselves in victims' shoes, whereas those who were sympathetic towards the little girl, put themselves in her shoes.

I guess my empathy goes so far, except when it comes to killing.

I just don't understand how some people can have empathy towards only certain human beings and not towards others.

I get it when it comes to sexual predators and murderers. Because I don't have empathy, well that's not true. But I understand why people couldn't have empathy towards them.

 

[Job3315]

I don't fully understand how people think sometimes.

I have a lot of empathy towards the human race, even though I am unsocial. I hate human suffering. When it comes to murder or accidental manslaughter, I always feel terrible for the victim that lost his life.

Most people have empathy, but their empathy is limited. For example, most people have more empathy when a little child (boy or girl) gets hurt, then when an adult man gets hurt. Most people hate to see a woman get hit in the face then a man, whether he is weak or strong.

But my empathy is out of control. For example, if there was a situation (which there would never be) where I had to choose between whose life had to be spared between a 30 year old man or a 7 year old little girl, I could not choose, whereas most people would rather spare the little girl. Because I have this attitude that a 30 year old man's life is just as important as the little girl's life.

There was a story of a little girl who killed her entire adopted family due to the abuse she endured from her biological family. She killed her adopted brother who did nothing to her. But before she killed her brother, she would be very abusive to him. She would hit and smash his head against a pavement. Shoots her parents.

They did not do the abuse. They loved her. But she was affected by her past.

After reading this story, I read the comments on Facebook. Most people were so sympathetic towards the little girl, which sadden me a little. Because their sympathy towards the little girl seems to be an insensitivity towards those she killed. And the few people who were upset that this little girl who is now living a normal life as a nurse, and who got help for her mental illness, were called names and people were swearing at them.

I don't fully understand how the human brain works sometimes. Even though I don't believe that she should be executed or anything, I still wish there was justice for the families' death. Her living a normal life doesn't seem like justice.

But I know I could be wrong.

I guess people who were upset that this little girl is living a normal life put themselves in victims' shoes, whereas those who were sympathetic towards the little girl, put themselves in her shoes.

I guess my empathy goes so far, except when it comes to killing.

I just don't understand how some people can have empathy towards only certain human beings and not towards others.

I get it when it comes to sexual predators and murderers. Because I don't have empathy, well that's not true. But I understand why people couldn't have empathy towards them.

Have you heard of Strength Finders test? It seems like Empathy could be one of your top five strengths. Empathy is an amazing gift and if you operate in the gift of discernment of spirits, together they can be a power tool. But empaths have to be careful because they tend to super analyze scenarios, just like you are describing, and empaths tend to suffer a lot of anxiety and adrenal fatigue because in many cases they can’t do much. I know because empathy is one of my top 5. I sometimes have to set the empathy a side and grab from other strengths because empathy and mercy can cloud your mind in hard scenarios. Its important to know your strengths and then use them together. Theres also another test called DISC personalities.

Its not that others don’t have empathy, we all have all stregths, is just that not all of us have them in the same order; everyone is wired differently. Thats why some people can be police officers, paramedics, firefighters, while others can be teachers, counselors or nurses. But I heard a Pastor say once, “just because you don’t have the gift of mercy it doesn't mean you get to be a jerk”. I often think about how many soldiers don’t have the gift of empathy or mercy as their top five, but because of that they get to act fast helping save many lives, even if it means letting one person die to save many more. I truly admire them and thank God for them because I know I couldn't do what they do. It is not that they are bad, their stregths are in a different order.

 

[R. Hartono]

Hi introvert, better change ur name to something positive like Good Pal, Faithful, friendship etc.

 

[Tanj]

I don't fully understand how people think sometimes.

I'd recommend starting with learning the difference between empathy and sympathy.

 

[Introverted1293]

I'd recommend starting with learning the difference between empathy and sympathy.

I know the difference. I'm just not sure if they had empathy for the little girl that killed her family or if it was just sympathy. That's why I use the word sympathy when talking about them. But I use empathy when talking about me because I do put myself in other people's shoes. I can't help it. It drives me nuts knowing what other people may go through.

 

[Introverted1293]

Have you heard of Strength Finders test? It seems like Empathy could be one of your top five strengths. Empathy is an amazing gift and if you operate in the gift of discernment of spirits, together they can be a power tool. But empaths have to be careful because they tend to super analyze scenarios, just like you are describing, and empaths tend to suffer a lot of anxiety and adrenal fatigue because in many cases they can’t do much. I know because empathy is one of my top 5. I sometimes have to set the empathy a side and grab from other strengths because empathy and mercy can cloud your mind in hard scenarios. Its important to know your strengths and then use them together. Theres also another test called DISC personalities.

Its not that others don’t have empathy, we all have all stregths, is just that not all of us have them in the same order; everyone is wired differently. Thats why some people can be police officers, paramedics, firefighters, while others can be teachers, counselors or nurses. But I heard a Pastor say once, “just because you don’t have the gift of mercy it doesn't mean you get to be a jerk”. I often think about how many soldiers don’t have the gift of empathy or mercy as their top five, but because of that they get to act fast helping save many lives, even if it means letting one person die to save many more. I truly admire them and thank God for them because I know I couldn't do what they do. It is not that they are bad, their stregths are in a different order.

Thank you

I have respect for soldiers to. And I agree I don't think I can do what they do

 

[Introverted1293]

Hi introvert, better change ur name to something positive like Good Pal, Faithful, friendship etc.

I will think about that LOL

and thank you

 

[Tanj]

I know the difference.

Not sure that's true mate.

You said:

But I use empathy when talking about me because I do put myself in other people's shoes. I can't help it. It drives me nuts knowing what other people may go through.

However:

I always feel terrible for the victim that lost his life.

That's what sympathy is. And don't just take my word for it.
http://www.wiseheartpdx.org/resources/23.pdf

You'll have a better chance at understanding other people if you understand yourself.

 

[Introverted1293]

Not sure that's true mate.

You said:



However:



That's what sympathy is. And don't just take my word for it.
http://www.wiseheartpdx.org/resources/23.pdf

You'll have a better chance at understanding other people if you understand yourself.

OK

Maybe I got the word wrong.

But I still meant what I said. And I still put myself in the victim's shoes.

 

[GrowingSmaller]

I recommend this book, I have a CD set and its very helpful. Empaths are said to be sensitive, need space, benefit from meditation etc. There are certain skills in like which tend to help. The author is an empathic therapist:

the empath's survival guide - Google Search

 

[OldWiseGuy]

Empathy: I know how you feel.
Sympathy: I feel sorry for you.

 

[OldWiseGuy]

I don't fully understand how people think sometimes.

I have a lot of empathy towards the human race......

These statements contradict each other (sorry for piling on but the term needs clarifying).

 

[Introverted1293]

These statements contradict each other (sorry for piling on but the term needs clarifying).

What I mean is I put myself in someone shoes when they are suffering, while some people laugh at them, even if it is a bad guy. And I don't understand how some people can laugh, or wish harm on someone. That is why I say I don't understand how some people think.

 

[Introverted1293]

I recommend this book, I have a CD set and its very helpful. Empaths are said to be sensitive, need space, benefit from meditation etc. There are certain skills in like which tend to help. The author is an empathic therapist:

the empath's survival guide - Google Search

Thank you

 

[OldWiseGuy]

What I mean is I put myself in someone shoes when they are suffering, while some people laugh at them, even if it is a bad guy. And I don't understand how some people can laugh, or wish harm on someone. That is why I say I don't understand how some people think.

I sometimes have empathy for people that I have no sympathy for. Empathy and sympathy are often felt together but in some cases where people deserve the pickle they're in I don't feel too sorry for them.