Emotional reset button, please!

[KeilCoppes]

All right, I'll add some real reset buttons:

Psalms, music, fellowship...

And TaeKwonDo - nothing quite like putting on some music and doing forms - makes both the body and the mind feel better - great for frame of mind. Stretching coming my way.... let all the tension go out. Take that, long day at work!

 

[john14v6]

Patience gained is a trail failed, but a tribulation overcome.
Wisdom is mistake made, but a lesson learned.

Sometimes I just need to smack myself. I have learned a lot over the past couple of years, but I have a lot of trouble walking in what God's shown me. It seems that as soon as I think I am content with my life and my singleness: my emotions get thrown for a loop. It's at times like this that I find myself reading Psalm 27 over and over and over. I get frustrated sometimes when I find myself in the same hole I fell into before, but God is merciful and comes to my rescue. The Lord is faithful and in hard times His glory is revealed. I just pray that I might remember all the promises God's made and that through His strength I would be obedient to all of the things He has asked of me.


Apologies if this makes absolutely no sense, or is completely irrelavent...I tend to ramble a lot.

 

[KeilCoppes]

Patience gained is a trail failed, but a tribulation overcome.
Wisdom is mistake made, but a lesson learned.

Sometimes I just need to smack myself. I have learned a lot over the past couple of years, but I have a lot of trouble walking in what God's shown me. It seems that as soon as I think I am content with my life and my singleness: my emotions get thrown for a loop. It's at times like this that I find myself reading Psalm 27 over and over and over. I get frustrated sometimes when I find myself in the same hole I fell into before, but God is merciful and comes to my rescue. The Lord is faithful and in hard times His glory is revealed. I just pray that I might remember all the promises God's made and that through His strength I would be obedient to all of the things He has asked of me.

It makes absolute sense. I keep learning the lessons I already knew, and I am from time to time in the smack myself situation as well. If God finds glory in trials and surviving and overcoming, then He is getting mileage in me.

A thought: What is it like to be made for communion with another when God has decreed other conditions for this time? You find balance as you can, but your inner heart still yearns for more....?

 

[wvmtnkid]

well, the search for wisdom is something to which i relate. i used to get so frustrated b/c my life was this sisyphean cycle--i felt as though i made the same mistakes over and over. now, i try extra hard at reflecting and trying to make changes so that the same old doesn't continue to plague me

I am there myself! I finally decided that I do some of the same things over and over and over again that perhaps it's time to change and do things just the opposite. If you are a Seinfield fan ,remember the episode where George decides to go against his gut reactions and do things just the opposite of what he would usually do and things go so much better for him? Well, I came to that conclusion myself. Well, maybe not along quite those lines, but I decided that it was time I let someone else (God) have the reigns when it came to my dating life. I tend to make terrible choices in this area of my life. So, I am really concentrating on letting God lead me and working with God on this, not doing it all by myself.

hey wv; i have been so often the one who dated a guy only to have him leave me for another and get married to her. and the bets were so close between the other girl and me; but she always gets chosen. hm. i'm just hoping that i continue to learn and end up being some ultimate, amazing woman and that i will find someone better for me than the last. in fact, each guy that i seriously date is better (for me than the last). just a little weird when one moment its almost you, and then it's so not.

Been there! Another disheartening fact-twice I have went out with guys who went back to the girl they were dating before me. And both times they ended up marrying them. Doesn't do much for my self-esteem to know going out with me drove them back to their old girlfriends! Of course, I like to tell myself, I just got involved at the wrong time with them. One of those day late, dollar short situations I talked about in another thread.....

Such is dating life I suppose...

 

[invisiblebabe]

I wonder if Keil and Caitlin could ever meet in person... they seem quite a bit alike.

 

[KeilCoppes]

Been there! Another disheartening fact-twice I have went out with guys who went back to the girl they were dating before me. And both times they ended up marrying them....

Similar things have happened to me many times - I've come to the conclusion that my role in the marriage arena is that of unintentional catalyst.

Easy formula - correspond with me for about three months and then break up. It the statistics hold true, then you have an 80% chance of being married within 2 years, and about a 10% chance of going to the mission field. Now if I could just find a way to hire out my services... On the other hand, I haven't been collecting stats over the past 5 years or so, so it may have changed. :^)

 

[KeilCoppes]

I wonder if Keil and Caitlin could ever meet in person... they seem quite a bit alike.

Well, she didn't make it down to the conference, though she would have been welcome. Friends are good to have.

 

[TriptychR]

My feelings swing like a pendulum too. There are times when I'm perfectly happy with my situation, then one day I might glance up to see a couple or a friend says something about their relationship and it plants a seed that puts me in a funk for nearly the whole day. The most frustrating part of it all is that I'll wake up the next morning feeling better and realize that I had just let my feelings get the best of me again when I shouldn't have.
How do you reset that so it never happens?

 

[Princess Pea]

Another disheartening fact-twice I have went out with guys who went back to the girl they were dating before me. And both times they ended up marrying them. Doesn't do much for my self-esteem to know going out with me drove them back to their old girlfriends! Of course, I like to tell myself, I just got involved at the wrong time with them. One of those day late, dollar short situations I talked about in another thread.....

Similar things have happened to me many times - I've come to the conclusion that my role in the marriage arena is that of unintentional catalyst.

Ha! I've been checking the engagement announcements lately looking for my ex-boyfriend's name, because the last 2 guys I went out with before him got married 8 months later.

Now if I could just find a way to hire out my services...

Forget hiring - maybe we catalysts should just work out some type of system.

 

[KeilCoppes]

How do you reset that so it never happens?

No guarantees on never, but I find that things flip the most when I get tired or overworked or generally lose perspective on things above (Col 3). Eating well, exercising, sleep well, digging through a good devotional book (with some meat), praying earnestly for others and working to be in regularly thanksgiving for God's blessings - they all help.

AND work to push the button as often as you can! Perspective is majorly key!

 

[KeilCoppes]

Ha! I've been checking the engagement announcements lately looking for my ex-boyfriend's name, because the last 2 guys I went out with before him got married 8 months later.

Forget hiring - maybe we catalysts should just work out some type of system.

(chuckle) I just had a praise, though, one of the guys I know from the singles retreat we have out east proposed last night (not to me, rather to a girl from the retreat last year) and she said yes - major touchdown for single guys at the retreat. So God is showing results with someone there.

You know, P, we catalysts need to arrange a circle, so we can all reject one another in turn and then all get married within the next 8 months.... It's either that or buy new living room furniture. :^)

 

[Princess Pea]

You know, P, we catalysts need to arrange a circle, so we can all reject one another in turn and then all get married within the next 8 months.... It's either that or buy new living room furniture. :^)

Yeah - there must be some kind of mathematical formula for pairing catalysts up to minimize both the number of rejections and the number months until marriage. Also, maybe people could correspond with more than one person at a time. That would save time, and would also build in two-timing as an incentive for the rejection if the time was nearing and the relationship was going too ... smoothly?

Good grief. I think I just turned the whole reason for dating on its head. Where do I come up with this stuff?

 

[KeilCoppes]

Good grief. I think I just turned the whole reason for dating on its head. Where do I come up with this stuff?

Just remember, we've reformed rejection dating into a service to the world! If Paul wished he could be condemned to save Israel, how much more should we be willing give to spur future sources of covenantal evangelism! Service, service!

 

[wvmtnkid]

Forget hiring - maybe we catalysts should just work out some type of system.

Don't think I haven't thought about this!

You know, P, we catalysts need to arrange a circle, so we can all reject one another in turn and then all get married within the next 8 months.... It's either that or buy new living room furniture. :^)

I think Princess Pea and Keil have stumbled onto something that bears some thinking on here......

 

[Nico]

All right, I'll add some real reset buttons:

Psalms, music, fellowship...

And TaeKwonDo - nothing quite like putting on some music and doing forms - makes both the body and the mind feel better - great for frame of mind. Stretching coming my way.... let all the tension go out. Take that, long day at work!

i agree that in order to find one's personal reset button, you've got to find a way that synchronizes your body, mind, and soul. something physical that allows you to become aware of your body, its movements, its structure, and its capabilities. something spiritual that connects you to God and places you outside yourself. something personally spiritual that connects you with your natural intuition. and something to stimulate the mind. i suppose this doesn't work for everyone, but it's something that i'd like to strive for in order to achieve peace. unfortunately i'm far from achieving the balance of all these components in my life. but i do feel like if you are able to find inner peace, that is helpful for finding some sort of reset button--for all areas of your life....

my problem is that i overwhlem myself with all the possibilities and sometimes take on too much. then i break down. patience plays a role there and taking things on bit by bit, as you get stronger, you put more weight on. i'm at the baby stage

tae kwon doe is probably great for both the mental and physical aspect. i started to take a class in it once, but the teacher said we were going to have to do it outside sometimes, and i was just not down with practicing weird movements in a very public park. yeah that's my own insecurities there...but i can see the appeal of it

 

[KeilCoppes]

tae kwon doe is probably great for both the mental and physical aspect. i started to take a class in it once, but the teacher said we were going to have to do it outside sometimes, and i was just not down with practicing weird movements in a very public park. yeah that's my own insecurities there...but i can see the appeal of it

Would that be tai chi? TKD folks don't tend to practice in parks, because they tend to be kicking one another all around the dojang. :^)

And yet, I'll say this about tai-chi - like anything different, it's quite true, you need to be secure with yourself. It's similar to breaking boards in a TKD belt test - at my school it's always something you've .never. done before and it's in front of everyone. How else do you learn to do new things under observation and do them bravely? In both cases, there's no substitute for doing it, perhaps messing up, but learning in all cases that you survive and the world continues much the same as always.

 

[Nico]

yup, that'd be tai chi. right. yeah tai chi made me feel self concious. know taikwondoe is something that i really have been wanting to take up , actually, despite my mix-up. i started getting interested eastern practices of certain types, like tkd (as you put it). what appeals to me is the fact that you need discipline (b/c i lack it so much), plus it strengthens your body. now, i know that w/the way of the samurai, they have a saying to not use your mind with the sword. i first disliked this idea, b/c i have the tendency to think a lot and thought that mindless action was a waste of time. however, i began to realize that it's not that they want you to become stupid when fighting, but rather to let go of your mind and allow yourself to become one with the sword and move with its movements as opposed to distancing yourself, separating yourself from it. it made sense to me b/c of what i do w/art. i become too cerebral when painting and drawing, and as a result i don't achieve my full creative potential. it's really frustrating to me. i'm trying to learn to let go of my mind and paint according to what i really see, not what i think i see.....but my quest. was if tkd has a similar idea in terms of when you start to break things and kick things....?

 

[KeilCoppes]

I have several times had what I call "black-belt moments". It's not the mystical let go and become one with the universe zen idea, though. They are those times when you let all the fear, worries and distractions go and become so focused (soft focus, not hard focus) that nothing else matters. At those times you can put 120% of your capability into something. On the other hand, all the safety overrides are turned off at those times, you can also really hurt yourself if you do things wrong, and you have to make sure that you have clear conditions under which you come back. But curiously, the times you tend to get the most hurt is when you worry about things and don't follow through.

When I broke for red-belt, black stripe (just below black belt) it was flying side kick and three boards held back to back. I had never done it before. I remember thinking that I was either going to break my foot or the boards were going to break like matchwood and I was going to put everything in me and then some into making my foot go as fast as possible. No matter which way it went I was going to do the same thing, with no worries of injury. The doing was the focus and everything else went away. The boards broke like matchwood. I could do four today the same way if I had the opportunity. You train, you work, you learn, but in the end you simply do.

 

[hischildsindik]

I understand much of all that is said... and I know walls are not the answer, there are good things that come of risk. As a good friend of mine told me once, risking can be spectacular. What he didn't have to tell me was that it can also suck, which I think we all know very well. I ran across the following on risk recently in a book I took off the shelf. I've found it fits lately and it fits this conversation in some cord. I do not know the author.

Reflections on Risk

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose your true feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams before the crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope isto risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing; has nothing and is nothing. That person may avoid suffering and sorrow, bu simply can not learn, feel, change, grow, love, live.

Only the person that risks is free.

This kind of worked as my "reset button".

 

[KeilCoppes]

I understand much of all that is said... and I know walls are not the answer, there are good things that come of risk. As a good friend of mine told me once, risking can be spectacular. What he didn't have to tell me was that it can also suck, which I think we all know very well.
.... The person who risks nothing; has nothing and is nothing. That person may avoid suffering and sorrow, bu simply can not learn, feel, change, grow, love, live.

I like to look at it as a balance - get your foundations strong and you can risk in everything else. If we build on that foundation with wood or straw or glass, it'll ultimately be tried by fire, but the foundation stands forever.

And I've learned how sweet it can be, knowing that tomorrow comes and that God will be there. Given that, I can take myself less seriously in person and while seeking the deep things life, laugh at myself. When the sorrow comes, it comes.... and yet, His mercies are new every morning!

In the classic words of the philosopher when his relationship fell through.... Next!!! Get a good night's sleep - tomorrow is a fresh and new day. :^)

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