eek. Mental breakdown.

[EmSchmem]

I can't be a mom. There's no way. I am going to end up being one of those women who shakes their baby and I'm just plain giong to be horrible. What was God thinking blessing us with this pregnancy. Poor kid.

 

[HeatherJay]

Oh, honey, we've all been there before. You'll be a fantastic mother, I'm sure of it. And even though that little alien inside you might seem like something put there to cause you grief right now, as soon as the nurse hands you the sweet little angel, you'll know that you could never do anything except love it. Pregnancy is not really supposed to be a picnic...it down right stinks sometimes (a lot of the time). But, once it's over and you have your perfect healthy baby, then you know that you'd do it a thousand times over again him/her. Another . Sit down, take a break, and tell your sweetie pie that you need a foot rub...that usually makes things seem a little brighter.

 

[suzybeezy]

Alot of first time moms don't feel they are properly equipped to handle all the needs that a baby has. It can feel very overwhelming. Especially while you're pregnant and all the hormones are soaring all over the place, you can feel alot of anxiety. Can I recommend you talk to your minister or a close friend with parenting experience. It's important you have someone who has been through this that can provide you with support. I also think that if you're really worried about it, you look into a parenting class. I think the local hospital or community college may have one.

 

[Katydid]

We have all felt that way. I used to have horrible dreams about it. Trust me, it passes, it gets worse before the due date, but after you get home with your little one, it passes. You are anxious, and scared and if you weren't I would be worried.

 

[bliz]

I can't be a mom. There's no way. I am going to end up being one of those women who shakes their baby and I'm just plain giong to be horrible. What was God thinking blessing us with this pregnancy. Poor kid.

Every mother has those thoughts and fears. Every single one. Anyone who says they never did, is lying.

What's missing from your imaginagry scenario is how very much you are going to love your baby. Right now, everything you imagine involves baby - a generic, interchangable, baby. Your baby and that generic baby will look nothing alike. You are going to love your baby, fall in love with your baby and care for and be fascinated by your baby. You will talk about your baby all the time to anyone who will listen, and many people who won't.

You are focusing on how hard it is going to be. And it is gong to be even harder. I'm not gong to lie to you! You cannot imagine how awful it will be.... some of the time. You also cannot imagine how wonderful it is going to be. It will be both. I think it is harder to imagine how great it can be than to imagine how hard it can be.

 

[LegacyOfLove]

Many reassuring ((((hugs)))) to you right now! I know what it feels like to be expecting for the first time (even if it was years ago now LOL). But, God knows in His infinate wisdom exactly the kind of mommy your baby was going to need in his/her life...and that is why God picked YOU!

The feelings you're having are very natural, but the others who've responded here are right...the minute that you hold your baby in your arms, you'll be filled with so much love and hope!! God bless you, your husband...and your precious baby!

 

[Katydid]

the minute that you hold your baby in your arms, you'll be filled with so much love and hope!!

I'm sorry, for most people this is true, and I pray that it is true for you, but another word, if I may. Even if this doesn't happen, even if you don't feel immediate love and hope, don't think you are a bad mom. It may take some time for you to become truly in love with this baby, but don't worry, it will happen. Don't doubt yourself again if you don't feel that immediate love for your child. Some people (me for one) don't feel that, but once I got into the groove of nursing, and caring for my babies, they became the loves of my life. The point is, don't put pressure on yourself worrying about what is to come. Jesus said that worry will not add one minute to your life, and basically I feel that means that worrying isn't going to change what is going to happen. It will get you upset and may actually negatively affect you. If you are so worried about what kind of mom you are going to be, you may begin to focus on that and it may start to scare you into NOT wanting to bond with your baby (this happened with my first). Stop worrying and enjoy each minute of your pregnancy and then of your childbirth (you only get one per child, so enjoy what you can and YES you can enjoy it in spite of the pain), and then enjoy every minute of their childhood. Teach them in the way they should go, and remember that noone is perfect and you will make mistakes, but God made children very forgiving and very resilient. Be happy that you have been gifted with this blessing.

 

[reformedfan]

if you're afraid you might do that, you prob wont.

 

[RoseRed495]

Ooh, honey...I know how you feel, definitely. I felt that way too, rather panicked to say the least...and we planned for the baby! My childhood had a lot to do with it. But truly, let God lead you and you WILL be alright.

And I agree with the person who said that even if you don't fall in love with that baby right away, you will. Not all mothers feel that connection at the beginning. It doesn't mean that they are bad mothers or will mistreat their child. It just means that maybe their hormones are out of whack or they are simply made up differently. It will come. One day you will wake up and think, "Oh my word, I am so in love with this baby!"

 

[Katydid]

One day you will wake up and think, "Oh my word, I am so in love with this baby!"

For me it was the day he slept 4 hours straight. I freaked, ran in there, hyperventilating, scared he was dead, but of course he was just sleeping. I realized that I loved him soooooooo much and couldn't live if anything ever happened to him.

 

[countrymousenc]

Em, I felt the same way. I'd never been any good at babysitting, even, and the thought of going everywhere with a diaper bag and a stroller! Then, the day I went to the hospital (for labor to be induced) I wanted to panic. There was no way to change my mind, to get out of going through this new and very frightening process. And what if my baby didn't like me? But it all turned out okay, and I learned to deal with nursing, bathing, diapering, and even with going everywhere with everything but the kitchen sink, and with getting up for feedings in the night. And you will, too. You can do it!

 

[EmSchmem]

People keep telling me that. And I guess I have known some really dumb really lazy people who were at the least decent parents. If they can I figure I can.

 

[elizabethevangeline]

Hi Em,

As my husband & I left the hospital with our brand new son, I said "They're just going to let us leave with him? Are they nuts? We don't know what we're doing!"

I've found that I learn and grow as a mother right along side my children, so I need to not worry so much about things that haven't come yet.

1 Cor 10:13 was a helpful promise: "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

He won't give us more than we can bear, and provides ways for us to bear our challenges.