Dying to myself (my temper)

[sadistmy]

i am a Christian for over a year. although my life has been transformed, there are areas which i feel i needed constant help. i believe i am fill with the Holy Spirit but there are times i felt that i am not fill that much.

Recent weeks i am plagued with temper issue. Lost it too many times in front of my family. Outburst and outburst.

i regretted, remorseful and even confessed my sins. Repented. Then few days later, it is wash rinse and repeat.

I just lost my temper at my 6 year old son over something really stupid. And i could literally feel i have grieved the Holy Spirit.

i need help and advise. please.

 

[timf]

Anger is a result of a conflict between what we expect and what happens. The problem is usually our expectations. Children will always do things that are wrong, we parents should expect this.

Our response to children should not be a reflex of anger, but activating that same old routine we use for every infraction.

Did you hit your sister?
Yes.
Were you supposed to hit your sister?
No.
What should you have done differently?
Asked for help.
Which consequence would you prefer?

We usually offered three swats on the hand with a paint stirrer or five minutes in a chair facing a wall. Our children almost always selected the swats on the hand, presumably because it was over quicker.

Once children get to the seven, eight, nine age the swats as consequence start to change into a day or two without access to a video game or the computer.

Children are a picture of our inner self. They often display their sin openly. As they get older, they will learn to control and hide their sin The real difficult part of being a parent comes when you have to help them be open about their sin and turning to Jesus for help. The only real way for them to learn this is to see us do it.

We are not to parade our sinless perfection in front of our children, but an honest acceptance of our sin and our unending need to rely on him who's love covers our sin.

 

[Lollerskates]

..

 

[Samaritan Woman]

Confessing your temper-driven actions is a start but fails to address the root of the problem which is most probably pride or jealousy (or even fear). Outward actions are simply a manifestation of a wicked motive which more often than not one is oblivious to; this is where God's word and the Holy Spirit is needed to gently, lovingly show you the sin in your heart that causes you to lash out. While it's easy to get in a downward spiral of self-condemnation about your behavior, go before the Lord and through scripture to reveal the hidden sin. It's quite liberating when it happens!

 

[sadistmy]

thanks timf !

 

[sadistmy]

Confessing your temper-driven actions is a start but fails to address the root of the problem which is most probably pride or jealousy (or even fear). Outward actions are simply a manifestation of a wicked motive which more often than not one is oblivious to; this is where God's word and the Holy Spirit is needed to gently, lovingly show you the sin in your heart that causes you to lash out. While it's easy to get in a downward spiral of self-condemnation about your behavior, go before the Lord and through scripture to reveal the hidden sin. It's quite liberating when it happens!

thanks Samaritan Woman !

i truly believe there is too much 'self' in me and very little of God within. i could only strive to die to my 'self' more and more each day. Less of my 'self' and more of God.

 

[ALEA40]

I sometimes lose my temper with my sons when I'm tired or hungry. Or, when they're tired, hungry, or just stressed and frustrated, they do everything in their power to push my buttons. I think patience is a process. We have to ask God for help because we physically cannot do it by ourselves sometimes. Try thinking of Jesus being in the room with you. Ask for His help. He wants us to lean on Him.

 

[sadistmy]

I sometimes lose my temper with my sons when I'm tired or hungry. Or, when they're tired, hungry, or just stressed and frustrated, they do everything in their power to push my buttons. I think patience is a process. We have to ask God for help because we physically cannot do it by ourselves sometimes. Try thinking of Jesus being in the room with you. Ask for His help. He wants us to lean on Him.

thanks KEA44 !

i got to admit, i was feeling good about myself for the past month as i realized i was starting to bear the fruits of the Spirit. there were so many instances when i was in a self-control mode. And that really motivated me to seek His word and wisdom more each day. But for no rhyme and reason, the recent week has been trying and demoralizing for me. It seems that within a short span my fruits of Spirit just rotted away and i started to go back to my usual temper-trigger-happy monster. Even my lust for the flesh came back.

i was really struggling for the past week. i never waiver in my faith but the Walk just seemed tougher out of the blue. Not that i own the Walk before but i was making headway. Now, i just feel like i was the same person that just got saved in church and starting my Walk from day one, ground zero.

apologize for the rant, but the dying to my 'self' part really gets tougher. and i even doubt if what i am doing now is wrong or enough. i understand there is a realm where spiritual battle goes on daily. And most likely i am caught in that. I just want to know how i could just start back where i left off and not go down this spiral downfall.

 

[Emmy]

Dear sadistmy. Imagine Jesus hanging on the Cross, tell Him about your temper, then give your temper to Jesus and ask Him to carry it away.
Leave your temper at the Lord`s Feet, DO NOT PICK IT UP AGAIN.
Every time your temper wants to return to you, beg Jesus to take it away.
Jesus is stronger than any temper, and in the end your temper will leave you.
I say this with love. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

 

[parsley]

Anger is a result of a conflict between what we expect and what happens. The problem is usually our expectations. Children will always do things that are wrong, we parents should expect this.

I also see this happen when people feel like they have lost control of a situation. We can't control people, so things can never be perfect. (What we consider perfect.)

Also there is fear, which seems to be at the root of so many emotions. Take a look at how these thoughts might drive you to overreact. (Fear of having a stubborn child, fear of not getting out of the house on time, fear of not having enough to support the family.)

I sometimes lose my temper with my sons when I'm tired or hungry.

Thank you for saying that! I have had people yell at me who admitted they hadn't eaten all day, and then wanted me to sympathise with them.

Also, kids will become difficult if their blood sugar is low, they are fighting off germs, teething, or they are tired and don't know how to slow themselves down to rest. Almost every time my kids acted up, I found the next day that they were sick or in physical discomfort.

We are all works in progress.

 

[Flyboy1818]

Dear sadistmy, first of all it's about renewing our mind, the carnal self and knowing who we are in Jesus Christ. Dying to oneself each day is just that. Denying the seed of Adam and seeking the seed of Christ. Your spirit man is always there without sin, blameless but we have to control the carnal nature that tries to drown out this power living within.

Renewing the mind with the promises of God in the bible and with the truth helps us overcome this nature that is overwhelming. The power is within, all we have to do is read and renew our minds and believe the Word.

Don't let any of this anger bring you down and never lose faith over it. Don't go by what you feel. I had the same patch too where one minute you're on a high and then you hit a low patch which makes you feel that you have had no progress if not gone backwards.

I suggest waking up each day and renewing your mind, saying "I'm a new creation in Christ, I'm not a slave to the flesh. I don't fall under the dominion of sin or the carnal man". The power living within the believer is remarkable. Once you come to understand the new creation living inside, you'll understand why we are asked to live and walk in the Spirit. It's because our carnal man is still there screaming everyday calling us to satisfy it trying o be the center of our lives again. But each day we kill it, we hear the spirit man more clearer. Each day we walk in the Spirit, we will come into agreement with the Holy Spirit.

Believe in the word of God when it says that Christ has set us free. Anger has no power over you. When the spirit of anger overwhelms you remind it who has bought you and at what cost.

He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.