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I told this dream to a mentor at the Pentecostal Church I'm at. He had some interesting things to say.
Before this church, I was pushing my limits in an attempt to be more like a normal person. It went well for a while but I eventually burned out and was an absolute mess by the time I sought out an actual church.
In my situation, I am on the autism spectrum and the best explanation I can give for it is that it's a disorder that makes you crap at everything you do except for a handful of things you're obsessed about and it makes everyone else think you're a piece of garbage.
It was a hard life.
Since joining CF and this church I'm at, I no longer feel pressured to achieve more than what I am capable of.
I am in a better place now. God is good and I need to pursue real life instead of the internet for human connection. Since doing that, I'm a lot happier now.
If you are genuinely happy and satisfied with your own life, then you have already won.
Recently I've been repeatedly dreaming that I'm in a store shopping, and in most of those dreams I'm looking for a Silver plushie and/or Pokemon figures I don't have. I can understand it because I DO go shopping often in real life and I AM looking for those items in real life, but why do I dream about that so much?
Usually in those dreams I find the Silver plushie, but in last night's dream I looked everywhere but couldn't find one. Also, the Pokemon figures I find in those dreams are usually pretty strange-looking. Last night's dream also involved a guy playing with his pet rabbit in the store and the rabbit kept jumping into my arms...that was kind of odd but also cute.The store had a section that was outdoors and another that looked somewhat like a house.