Doubt and hurt

[Dave G.]

I would like to reply too since I am facing a similar situation.. I don't know if its due to OCD or just Anxiety and terrible fear..
After having issues with false guilt (I don't know ho to discern between real and false guilt, since both feel the same)
Now I doubt my salvation, because I keep on constantly checking my heart and myself, whether I believe strongly enough? Whether I really want Jesus as my Saviour from my heart?
Is it wrong to need him for ''selfish'' reasons, like escaping Hell and since I know I can't get to the Father without him? I was scared terribly because I saw how Judas lived and eventho he was around Jesus he somehow rejected him? I am so scared that something like that can happen to me, maybe my faith is not strong enough? Sometimes thoughts like ''I don't even want him, I don't even see why I need him, I don't mean it from my heart etc..'' enter my thoughts

Ya know, my daughter is here with me and I read your post out loud to her and she just sighed saying you can just feel this for him.

If you have OCD I swear our enemy works right in that and puts on a direct attack against salvation and causing doubt. I've seen it before. If you don't mind my asking ( I asked the other poster and many more in the past) how long have you been Christian ?

I ask because we are seeing many new born again believers have that initial Holy Spirit rush, then 6 months to a year in start doubting. I think this tactic is of an enemy against us is on the rise.

 

[Tolworth John]

1 my
Therapist makes my appointments really far away

My pastor hasn’t been calling me

If you need to talk to him, give him a call or send an email.

 

[Jesuslove70708]

I will hope he cares

 

[jjoel10]

Ya know, my daughter is here with me and I read your post out loud to her and she just sighed saying you can just feel this for him.

If you have OCD I swear our enemy works right in that and puts on a direct attack against salvation and causing doubt. I've seen it before. If you don't mind my asking ( I asked the other poster and many more in the past) how long have you been Christian ?

I ask because we are seeing many new born again believers have that initial Holy Spirit rush, then 6 months to a year in start doubting. I think this tactic is of an enemy against us is on the rise.

Hey sorry for the late reply.

I grew up in a christian home, so not sure when or if I ever really gave my heart to Jesus, its hard to tell. But about 2-3 year ago after a broken relationship I realized Gods help and rescue in it and my relationship to Jesus grew stronger and more intimate. Also not sure whether I really feel/felt a ''rush'' ever.. eventho my Girlfriend does regularly.

I have anxiety that my heart is becoming harder and harder.. since OCD?! makes me think that everything I like is sin and I am going against God's will (recently my biggest OCD Fear was that God doesn't want me to be in a relationship with my Christian GF) and thus my affection to God just got less and less which then of course leads me to even more fear and anxiety. Which then leads me to question if I am even saved in the first place? How much faith I have, If I feel sorry enough to repent etc.. do you know this pattern?

 

[Dave G.]

Hey sorry for the late reply.

I grew up in a christian home, so not sure when or if I ever really gave my heart to Jesus, its hard to tell. But about 2-3 year ago after a broken relationship I realized Gods help and rescue in it and my relationship to Jesus grew stronger and more intimate. Also not sure whether I really feel/felt a ''rush'' ever.. eventho my Girlfriend does regularly.

I have anxiety that my heart is becoming harder and harder.. since OCD?! makes me think that everything I like is sin and I am going against God's will (recently my biggest OCD Fear was that God doesn't want me to be in a relationship with my Christian GF) and thus my affection to God just got less and less which then of course leads me to even more fear and anxiety. Which then leads me to question if I am even saved in the first place? How much faith I have, If I feel sorry enough to repent etc.. do you know this pattern?

So you are able to distinguish between OCD thoughts and what truly are your own thoughts ? Are you diagnosed and or taking medication for OCD ?

 

[jjoel10]

So you are able to distinguish between OCD thoughts and what truly are your own thoughts ? Are you diagnosed and or taking medication for OCD ?

I am not sure I can, since OCD attacks what we most value/like? It could also just be me rebelling against God and hold onto what I like? But I think I recognize the same „voice“ like in several other OCD forms before in my life..
Maybe I just like certain things too much? Maybe I am idolizing them? And thats where OCD can kick in?

Im not sure if he „officially“ diagnosed me but I got medication from my psychiatrist, Vortioxin recently but didn‘t yet take it. I‘ll be going to a Christian Psychologist next week so I can talk about the spiritual side of the illness…

 

[Jesuslove70708]

OCD

Is Faith a choice

 

[Dave G.]

Is Faith a choice

There is volition involved, in that sense it's a choice. But haven't we all been given a small dose to jump start with ( the mustard seed) ? And we certainly are free to ask for more ! That's a choice, do you choose to ask Jesus for more faith ? Is Jesus listening ? Yes. But do you respond ? Our spiritual eyes need to be open to see and ears to hear ? What are we seeing and hearing ? The word of God. Finally Romans 10:17 King James Bible
So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. Prior verses say but some choose not to listen ie,not believe,not to hear good news !!!

 

[Dave G.]

I am not sure I can, since OCD attacks what we most value/like? It could also just be me rebelling against God and hold onto what I like? But I think I recognize the same „voice“ like in several other OCD forms before in my life..
Maybe I just like certain things too much? Maybe I am idolizing them? And thats where OCD can kick in?

Im not sure if he „officially“ diagnosed me but I got medication from my psychiatrist, Vortioxin recently but didn‘t yet take it. I‘ll be going to a Christian Psychologist next week so I can talk about the spiritual side of the illness…

I wouldn't want to supersede your professional help. But if you don't do what they suggest to you why would you anyone else. Just a thought . So but my question was based on knowing people who have come to realize the pattern of the ODC thoughts or words. Some hear literal voices even, in the more severe cases. Then it becomes a matter of getting them to not believe that pattern or voice. That's why I asked.

I've seen a definite pattern where OCD goes right for the Gospel and dispelling someones salvation ( in their minds not in reality).