Double standards with underwear

[Geforcefly1]

Nervous to start this, but here I go...

Double standards are many in this world, but the one that grinds my gears the most is one of underwear. Here's how I interpret this:

Women can wear men's or women's underwear and it's 100% accepted.
Men that wear women's underwear is 100% unacceptable.
I also understand that a significant portion of men's and women's underwear are very close to or exactly the same.

Also nervous to say this , but I wear a bra solely for physical comfort (and due to my primary care doctor's suggestion) and my Mom considers it a sin, solely because I'm male.

Taking sexual gratification out of the equation, what would you think?

And I apologize in advance if I rattled any one of you.

 

[Autumnleaf]

Tmi.

 

[Archivist]

Of course it isn't just underwear. It is considered acceptable for women to wear men's shirts and pants, but it is generally unacceptable for men to wear dresses or other forms of women's clothing. I was wearing a kilt at a Ren Faire one time, and got yelled at by some old coot who said that I must be "queer" since I was wearing a skirt. I told him that he was an idiot if he did not know what a kilt was.

Of course, this does go both ways. Men can go topless in many places; women generally cannot do so.

There is nothing wrong with you wearing a bra, particularly if your doctor has recommended that you do so. I know of nothing in Scripture that specifically says that it is sinful for a man to wear a bra--they didn't even exist in Biblical times.

 

[High Fidelity]

It'd probably raise a few eyebrows... But, if what you say is true and it's functional, then I can't see a problem.

Either way I can't see it being a problem. Strange, yes... But not a problem.

 

[Geforcefly1]

I've been praying over this too to find out what God says is the right thing to do. I forgot to say in the OP that also my GF (longest distance relationship) says no to this.

 

[Sammy-San]

Of course it isn't just underwear. It is considered acceptable for women to wear men's shirts and pants, but it is generally unacceptable for men to wear dresses or other forms of women's clothing. I was wearing a kilt at a Ren Faire one time, and got yelled at by some old coot who said that I must be "queer" since I was wearing a skirt. I told him that he was an idiot if he did not know what a kilt was.

Of course, this does go both ways. Men can go topless in many places; women generally cannot do so.

There is nothing wrong with you wearing a bra, particularly if your doctor has recommended that you do so. I know of nothing in Scripture that specifically says that it is sinful for a man to wear a bra--they didn't even exist in Biblical times.

That's because shirts and pants are considered "genderless" or unisex clothing, unlike skirts.

 

[Archivist]

That's because shirts and pants are considered "genderless" or unisex clothing, unlike skirts.

But that wasn't always the case. Times have changed.

 

[Inkachu]

Hmm...

If you have some kind of issue where you have the male equivalent of "breasts" (not to be crass, but what we call "moobs") and a bra helps you feel comfortable... well, I guess that's up to you. I wonder, though, why you aren't seeking a garment that is made specifically for men? They ARE out there.

Now, if you're just simply enjoying the feeling of wearing female undergarments... that's a whole other issue.

 

[Joykins]

I don't think it's anyone's business what underwear you wear.

 

[Inkachu]

I've been praying over this too to find out what God says is the right thing to do. I forgot to say in the OP that also my GF (longest distance relationship) says no to this.

I'm a little concerned that a 32 year old man has his mother this far into his private business. And why the "online" girlfriend? Why not a face-to-face one? And why are you so conflicted over this? If I had some kind of health issue where I needed to buy say, men's boxers, in order to be comfortable, I wouldn't hesitate to do it, and it wouldn't bother me. I certainly wouldn't be feeling like I was sinning or needed to pray for guidance IF it were solely and genuinely ONLY for health reasons.

 

[Joykins]

Seinfeld - The Bro - YouTube

 

[dayhiker]

I got a friend who wears shirts and caries a purse. Doesn't matter to me what underwear one wears.

 

[MehGuy]

It's the age of women grabbing what they want, men should be able too. No double standards.

 

[Geforcefly1]

I still live with my Mom and I opened up to her. She considers it cross-dressing and a sin. My GF (I do see her 4-5 times a year, 2 weeks at a time in person for the past 4 years, she lives 300 miles away) says that only women wear bras. I used to wear them on and off solely for gratification, but now it's solely for physical comfort. And that's where the confusion (and double standard for this) lies: Comfort vs. conforming.

 

[MehGuy]

Just wear them. The feminists will just have to deal with it.

 

[bhsmte]

Nervous to start this, but here I go...

Double standards are many in this world, but the one that grinds my gears the most is one of underwear. Here's how I interpret this:

Women can wear men's or women's underwear and it's 100% accepted.
Men that wear women's underwear is 100% unacceptable.
I also understand that a significant portion of men's and women's underwear are very close to or exactly the same.

Also nervous to say this , but I wear a bra solely for physical comfort (and due to my primary care doctor's suggestion) and my Mom considers it a sin, solely because I'm male.

Taking sexual gratification out of the equation, what would you think?

And I apologize in advance if I rattled any one of you.

As a general rule, not sure the design of women's underwear allows the necessary room to fit the male anatomy, comfortably.

 

[Joykins]

I still don't see where anyone has the right to judge you for either your comfort or your kink.

Underwear is not outerwear. Nobody can see it unless they're intimate with you. You're not attempting to deceive anyone. If anything, you offered TMI.

Now, if you're intimate with your girlfriend then this becomes a problem that is between you and her, whether you are willing to give it up for her comfort or whether she is willing to change her comfort threshold to allow you to wear it without judging. If not, you appear to be at a bit of an impasse in that relationship.

 

[Inkachu]

I still live with my Mom and I opened up to her. She considers it cross-dressing and a sin. My GF (I do see her 4-5 times a year, 2 weeks at a time in person for the past 4 years, she lives 300 miles away) says that only women wear bras. I used to wear them on and off solely for gratification, but now it's solely for physical comfort. And that's where the confusion (and double standard for this) lies: Comfort vs. conforming.

If you wore them for gratification before, I find it hard to believe that it just suddenly and randomly stopped being gratifying. You said that you wear bras because your doctor suggested it; your doctor wouldn't suggest that you wear a bra for sexual gratification, so there's something going on here that you're not being forthcoming about.

Why do you still live with your mother? Do you and your girlfriend have any plans to actually live in the same town or get married? Four years is a very long time to carry on a long-distance relationship. And I don't think this is a question of "double standards", I think this is a question of a man who feels guilty about wearing women's undergarments and is hoping to rationalize his actions.

And no, I'm not "judging" here. I'm offering my thoughts, which is what I assume you came here for. Peoples' thoughts.

 

[Geforcefly1]

I would never do this for deception. I'm not interested in trying to pass as a woman. I would try alternative clothing (or just endure my discomfort when my GF is around so that she's happy. I know relationships are a matter of compromises, and I want her to be as happy as possible. I am intimate with my GF but there are some lines that I will not cross until marriage. But that's another discussion entirely.

 

[Joykins]

FWIW if this is mainly for comfort at this point, since your GF is uncomfortable with your bra, then maybe you could investigate designing a garment that provides the same support (like an undershirt with built-in cups) with more masculine styling. A "bro" if you will.