Don't Want Kids

[soccrchick5]

Is there anyone else that doesn't want children..ever? Is that wrong? I don't think it is, but I would love to hear other opinions.

 

[sparrow1029]

I just posted in the baby fever thread--it got me to thinking about this, too. I really don't think I have personality that would lend itself well to being a mom. I like order, peace, quiet, solitude and logic way too much--and, I'm pretty sure kids fly in the face of all of that. But, I guess the thing that makes it right or wrong is what God wants in your life. If He wants you to have kids, and you don't, that would be going against His will. If He doesn't want you to have children, and you do, that would also be going against His will. I mean, yeah, I've never wanted children, but I know that I'm a work in progress, and that God is changing the way I view a lot of things. I also never wanted to get married, but God has been teaching me a lot about the subject over the past two years, and now I don't see it as all that terrible. So, perhaps He'll do the same with kids. *sigh*--but not too soon, I hope.

 

[stubbornkelly]

I don't, not really. I may change my mind on that later, but it's certainly not a priority of mine. I'm not the maternal type, really. If it happened, I'd do it, and probably enjoy it, but it's not a choice I would consciously make (none of that "trying to get pregnant" stuff for me).

I don't see how it would be wrong not to have children, even in a marriage.

 

[mina]

I think differently, I want lots and lots of kids, but I don't think it's wrong to not want them. Some people just don't want them and that's ok. But I think that if you and your spouse seriously don't want children, then don't have them. Because having a child just to please someone else is never good. And in the end the child will be the one on the losing side.

 

[stubbornkelly]

Because having a child just to please someone else is never good. And in the end the child will be the one on the losing side.

That's why the kids thing has become a deal breaker for me. If a man definitely wants kids, he's not for me. It wouldn't be fair for me to marry a man who wants kids, knowing that I don't. Even if we change our minds later, I can't in good faith go into a marriage thinking one or the other of us will change our minds.

 

[Risen Tree]

Just as some people don't know how they could live with kids, I don't know how I can live without them. The mere thought of dying childless is terrifying. But if I have been predestined to be a father someday, then this is not a loss that I have to fear.

 

[LN]

I think its important to realize if you're not the type to be a parent, don't have kids! There is nothing wrong with that.

I also think that sometimes women's minds change as you approach... oh... say 28 or so

 

[remy]

Me neither, I want a dog.

This is just a side ramble, but any guys/ladies out there ever hear the, "when you have kids you'll ...whatever," line? I say, "never!!," to that!

 

[Risen Tree]

This gives me an idea....

 

[Risen Tree]

Oh, and stubbornkelly, it looks like I won't be pursuing you any time soon.

 

[Katty]

I absolutely pray that God blesses me with kids one day... looooong time from now though I don't want a ton, but I would like 3. Kids are such a blessing though. I love being around them. They make you feel like you're the most incredible person ever and like you're super cool . Its a huge responsibility but I also think that when the time comes and God does grant me the blessings of kids, it would be a humbling experience to know how little we know of God's love for us. I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters and its inconceiveable to not have kids of my own one day. All in God's plan...

~Katty~

 

[Risen Tree]

I have set up a poll concerning this topic here.

 

[mamaneenie]

Is there anyone else that doesn't want children..ever? Is that wrong? I don't think it is, but I would love to hear other opinions.

I don't think it's wrong to not want children. I have a son, and that's all well and good. Some people are called to do work, or ministry that would make it very hard for them to be parents. Parenting takes a lot out of you emotionally and physically and it can be very challenging. It has it's rewards, but some people aren't meant to be parents.

 

[plum]

Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Many people say this when talking about getting what they want out of God, almost justifying why what we want is best for us because hey, God said He'd give us what we desire, right?

Not always. I like to think of this verse in another way... God places desires in our heart that grow and become what we desire. When we delight ourselves in the LORD only, His desires for us become our desires.

So, in this way, I trust God to place in my heart the desire to have children if one day he wants to give them to me. I don't necessarily want them, but I am willing to admit that it is because of more selfish reasons than Godly ones. The LORD will provide all that I need if I should be blessed with a wonderful child.

 

[sparrow1029]

So, in this way, I trust God to place in my heart the desire to have children if one day he wants to give them to me. I don't necessarily want them, but I am willing to admit that it is because of more selfish reasons than Godly ones. The LORD will provide all that I need if I should be blessed with a wonderful child.

I totally, totally agree!

 

[Higgaion]

What if you're blessed with a beastly child? J/K I guess my mother could give you advice on that. That reminds me, today I was reading how John Donne's wife gave birth to 12 children, excluding the miscarriages. This fecundity of hers was largely responsible for the poverty he endured during that period in his life and caused him to write (but not publish) a defense of suicide entitled, Biathanatos Nice, eh?

 

[Christopher05257]

I dont really want children either. Of my own that is. I think that there are alot of children out there that are not loved by anyone including thier real parents. I feel that they should be taken care of.. If everyone who wanted a child adopted one then the world would be a better place. Im not telling everyone to adopt because many people want children of thier own, but I feel that there are already children on earth that need a home and a christian backround..

 

[Godschild]

I don't think that I will ever be mentally stable enough for children. I mean, I yell at my niece and nephew way too much already. I like having my life and being able to do things that I want to do. I know that sounds like I'm saying that children are a burden, and they aren't, but I just don't think there's a place in my life for them. *sigh* I don't know.

 

[urbanfaerie]

i used to hate the idea of having a kid. but after spending time w/ a two yr old ovr the holidaze...its kinda grown on me. they are a lot more adorable then i had given em credit for. i got a huggie from my nephew, and it was the best present in the world...one day i;d like to be a mama.. but i have a lotta growing b4 that'll ever happen.

 

[duhfur]

My husband and I do not feel we are called to have children. We both have mental/physicial disabilities that run in our families. While I feel some may say thats not a reason to have children we feel it is enough. We may someday adopt/foster. For the time being we are happy being godparents to 5 wonderful children that need a role model/adult other than a parent in their lives. We are also actively involved at church. When the teens/kids ask me when/why we are having kids I tell them that if I had a child I wouldn't have as much time for them. They seem to be content with that