I didn't see anyone say that raising kids is a piece of cake under any circumstances. But this topic seems to be getting way, way off from the OP. I'm all for having an in-depth discussion of parenting, but maybe under a fresh thread with a clear OP.
You can ask your (future) spouse what their views and beliefs are on parenting. That's how you know, or learn if you don't know.
Exactly, but if you live in a city, you probably don't know his/her parents, or what all that person's interpretations of abuse are. A lot of people disregard certain forms of abuse. I asked someone (a Christian) who said abuse is punching. Excuse me! My BIL didn't punch, but he broke my nephew's arm when he was angry. He molested 2 of my sisters and who knows how many other people.
If you think my communication isn't clear, why don't you ask questions? A fresh thread won't help.
You don't need to know a person's parents to know what kind of parent THEY might be.
That's why you get to know the person in other ways. Obviously, you aren't going to ask questions on parenting on the first date, propose on the second date, get married on the third date, then complain that you didn't get an accurate picture of who they were. Learn the person over time, observe how they behave with other people, including children, to get a more complete idea of who they are. Viewing everyone with paranoia and cynicism certainly won't lead to any sort of happy relationship, either.
It makes no difference whether I respond or not, you portray yourself as the expert and are judgmental of all my replies. I tried to be helpful but your intent is to accuse me of being a pessimist. Have at it!
You said I'm "pushing an agenda". What agenda do you claim that I'm pushing? You said I'm just here to accuse you of being a pessimist, but that's not true. I'm responding to things that you've said. I still do not understand the premise of your OP, either, and how it ties into all that you've said throughout the thread. The OP says not to have children "for the wrong reason", but nowhere in this conversation have you stated what these wrong reasons are.
You posted the OP, not me. It's upon you to explain what reasons you think are right or wrong for having children, since this is your thread. I don't post for the sake of arguing, but it honestly feels like this conversation is just going nowhere. So I will step out at this point.
Whereas I don't see any of your suggestions of godly parenting and find that if there were some, it would be laced with truisms and not experience. But I too expected that.
I cannot get answers from people on parenting and Christians get upset or ignore the topic. I have lots of experience with lots of mistakes. You seem miffed. Do you have all the answers?
I know right? Doesn't my answer make me seem miffed and like I had all the answers? I was replying in the tone of the quoted post, as noted by my use of your words in the post. Do I have all the answers? No. Do I have some? Probably.
