Does the bible talk about pre-marital sex

[thelord's_pearl]

forbidden? I'm just wondering if protected sex is allowed pre-maritally.. or does the bible strictly prohibit that and only go for the safest upon marriage sex? ..just a question

 

[HTacianas]

forbidden? I'm just wondering if protected sex is allowed pre-maritally.. or does the bible strictly prohibit that and only go for the safest upon marriage sex? ..just a question

The argument can be made that all sex is marital. Jesus said to the woman at the well:

Jhn 4:16 Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.”

Jhn 4:17 The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You have well said, ‘I have no husband,’

Jhn 4:18 “for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; in that you spoke truly.”

The meaning is that the woman had in the past had sexual relations with five different men. For a man to have sexual relations with a woman makes her his wife.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

forbidden?

Yes.

 

[Dave-W]

The argument can be made that all sex is marital. Jesus said to the woman at the well:

Jhn 4:16 Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.”

Jhn 4:17 The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You have well said, ‘I have no husband,’

Jhn 4:18 “for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; in that you spoke truly.”

The meaning is that the woman had in the past had sexual relations with five different men. For a man to have sexual relations with a woman makes her his wife.

Not so. And I believe it to be a rules violation to say that.

Biblically, premarital sex is called “Playing the harlot.”

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Not so. And I believe it to be a rules violation to say that.

The Scripture is true.

If a man takes a girl/woman out in a field and 'has' her,
or if a business suit goes into a prostitute,

it is written that the two become one flesh. A very very strong warning about that also!

 

[tall73]

forbidden? I'm just wondering if protected sex is allowed pre-maritally.. or does the bible strictly prohibit that and only go for the safest upon marriage sex? ..just a question

The topic is somewhat broad, so as with most things we can go back to creation and see God's intent. Sin changed some realities, but the overall principles can still be seen in the creation account:

20. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

23 The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”

24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

At Creation God indicated that the husband would leave father and mother and be joined together and become one flesh. That is the intention.

This one flesh relationship was not just for Adam and Eve as Jesus references it as God's intent as well when addressing adultery.

6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

This is why both divorce and adultery are a problem, being against God's design of husband and wife having a lasting relationship, becoming one.

Paul references this one flesh aspect when warning against sexual immorality, using the example of going to a prostitute:

15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” 17 But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.

18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

He indicates that we should not make this one flesh relationship with prostitutes. That is reserved for our spouse.

He goes on to discuss two legitimate ways for Christians to live faithfully, depending on your call:

7 Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

The first option is to be married and have sex with your spouse, each meeting the sexual needs of the other. This is a guard against immorality, just having sex with whomever.

The other option is to emulate Paul's way of living (and that of Jesus), to be single for God. Paul acknowledges some have that gift some do not:

6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

This is in line with what Jesus said in Matthew 19 regarding those who are eunuchs for the kingdom of God:

10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
11 Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

Paul goes on in I Corinthians to discuss the unmarried:

8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.


So the legitimate outlet for sex is within the context of marriage where each meets the needs of the other.

 

[tall73]

A few texts that address sexual immorality more generally:

I Thessalonians 4: 3 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, 5 not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; 6 and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. 7 For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. 8 Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit.

I Peter 4: 3 For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. 4 They are surprised that you do not join them in their reckless, wild living, and they heap abuse on you. 5 But they will have to give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead.

 

[Jonaitis]

forbidden? I'm just wondering if protected sex is allowed pre-maritally.. or does the bible strictly prohibit that and only go for the safest upon marriage sex? ..just a question

Sex outside the proper context of marriage is called "fornication" in Scripture, which is a form of "sexual immorality," and is listed as one of works of the flesh that leads to eternal death (Gal. 5:19-21; Rev. 21:8; 1 Cor. 6:9, 10).

Jesus said that looking at another woman (or man) with lustful intent is equivalent to the act of adultery in your heart, and adultery is outside the context of marriage. How much worse is actually fornicating with a woman who is not married to you?

Conjugal rights is an essential part of marital relations, remove it from the institution of marriage and you remove most of what enriches the covenant union between the man and the woman. Marriage isn't a mere civil contract, it is covenant between two individuals united together as one person, one flesh, one life, one aim in life, with one family before the eyes of God.

 

[curty]

Indeed Jonaitis was just about to post this:

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 New King James Version (NKJV)
9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

Absolutely black and white to me.

 

[Blade]

Always stand up for the word.. yes its wrong.. you don't do it.. you leave you parents you to come together get married. No matter what we do Christ will say nothing.. it HAS to be our free choice to follow Him and His ways..

 

[John Bowen]

The purpose of taking vows before God is it protects us from having evil entering in our minds .Like getting a virus on your computer . A man and a women coming together can open people up to all kinds of negative energies if the relationship is not under God thats why marriage was created .I wish someone would have told me that when I was your age . Just wait the old saying patience is a virtue is so true.

 

[Mathetes66]

The idea of pre-marital sex can be looked at as 'forbidden' or 'prohibited' but that is not the primary intent of God's commandments to not fornicate, commit adultery, etc. God gave those commandments to PROTECT people from the harmful consequences of having sex outside the covenantal relationship of marriage of one man & one woman for life. That was God's original commandment. (Matt 19; Mark 10; Luke 16:18, I Cor 7, etc.)

Look at the rampant number of STD's today, spread from sex outside of marriage. God designed it to be a protection & to be a covenant between the man, the woman & God. He desires the best for us & His design of having sexual relations within marriage results in the most satisfying & deep union that a man & woman can have.

One must also not forget that the picture of marriage is a picture of Christ & the church as His bride. Christ desires a pure bride.

Hebrews 13:4 Honorable is the marriage among all & the bed undefiled, because God will judge fornicators & adulterers.

Ephesian 5:3 Don't let fornication, perversion of any kind, or greed even be mentioned among you. This is not appropriate behavior for God's holy people.

That being said, how do we learn to control our sexual urges until such time that we find a suitable marriage partner?

Remember it is a choice not a life-threatening one. If I don't eat I will starve. However, if I don't have sex until marriage, I will be just fine until then.

I Corinthians 10:6-13 These things took place as examples to keep us from craving evil things as they did. 7Do not be idolaters, as some of them were. As it is written: “The people sat down to eat and to drink, and got up to indulge in revelry.”a 8We should not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did, and in one day twenty-three thousand of them died. 9We should not test Christ,b as some of them did, and were killed by snakes. 10And do not complain, as some of them did, and were killed by the destroying angel.

11Now these things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the fulfillment of the ages has come. 12So the one who thinks he is standing firm should be careful not to fall. 13No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way of escape, so that you can stand up under it.

 

[CodyFaith]

Not so. And I believe it to be a rules violation to say that.

Biblically, premarital sex is called “Playing the harlot.”

Yes. A study and reflection of Jewish Law gives this topic a clear answer, and is important to fully understanding the context and concepts within many of Jesus' and the epistle writers' teachings on the matter.

But if that type of thing isn't your type of learning, simply trusting the Holy Spirit and his convictions on your conscience will also lead you to the same conclusion. It's a big fat "No, don't do it, be patient and wait for God to fulfill your desires in his timing".

The faith is a walk of patience, endurance and trust, not "now" and instant gratification. And if you aren't convicted in any manner before/while/after doing these things, I highly suggest examining your walk and whether your faith is genuine.

 

[thelord's_pearl]

Sex outside the proper context of marriage is called "fornication" in Scripture, which is a form of "sexual immorality," and is listed as one of works of the flesh that leads to eternal death (Gal. 5:19-21; Rev. 21:8; 1 Cor. 6:9, 10).

Jesus said that looking at another woman (or man) with lustful intent is equivalent to the act of adultery in your heart, and adultery is outside the context of marriage. How much worse is actually fornicating with a woman who is not married to you?

Conjugal rights is an essential part of marital relations, remove it from the institution of marriage and you remove most of what enriches the covenant union between the man and the woman. Marriage isn't a mere civil contract, it is covenant between two individuals united together as one person, one flesh, one life, one aim in life, with one family before the eyes of God.

Thank you so much Jonaitis! You really helped me learn the word that fornication means sex outside of marriage. You gave me the answer I wanted to learn! Thank you so much everyone who tried to help. I still haven't read all of them yet but I scrolled and got the answer and learned!