That's exactly what it means. When somebody breaks up with you, it means they thought of you, evaluated you as a person and a partner, and reached the conclusion that they do not want to have anything to do with you. If somebody reaches the conclusion that they want you, that they value your relationship, they respond by making a committment, not by announcing that they never want to see you again. Break up means you go this way, they go that way, that your relationship is broken. It's not a secret language that states that they really do like you.
You're very logical and straightforward. Not every break up is that way; many are much more emotion-based than the clean-cut, logical scenario you just laid before us. I'm glad this is your experience, but mine is different, and I feel it's unfair to make blanket statements that don't apply to all situations. The question is, "Does lost love
EVER return?" And yes, sometimes it does.
The reason for the break up, in my experience, sometimes depends upon the circumstances surrounding a break up. If someone is moving across the country, if someone joins the military or goes to college, if someone finds out they have a terminal illness or can't have children, and so on, they may break up with their loved one
not because they don't value the relationship or don't want to "have anything to do with" their loved one, but for numerous other reasons (can't handle the changing relationship dynamics because of maturity, know that the relationship will hurt their SO in the long run, feel like their SO deserves someone better, etc.).
If they don't feel ready to be in a relationship, they don't break up with you... They never start dating you. If they're not ready for a relationship, there's no need to break up because they're not in a relationship. However, if they're dumping you, that doesn't mean they don't want to be in a relationship... It means they don't want to be in a relationship with YOU.
Not everyone is mature enough to wait until they're ready to start dating. Some get into a relationship before they realize they're not prepared to date
And if they were telling you they didn't want to be in a relationship with you before, now suddenly they do... Be very suspicious. There are lots of people would rather fall back on an ex and not be alone even if they don't like that person, then dump them again when they have somebody else lined up.
This can be true for some individuals, yes. Sometimes people just realize they made a mistake by making an emotional decision instead of thinking it through.
If "lasting fine" is your goal in a relationship, and you don't mind having to ride out a drama-coaster to get there, then maybe you can aspire to their relationship. However, for those who don't want to ride out drama, pay their dues, and end up in a relationship that's "fine," perhaps that won't work for them. Especially since such situations are hardly the rule, but more like the exception. Heck, I know of a woman who was beaten so badly by her alcoholic boyfriend that she has a metal plate in her head and not one single tooth that isn't ceramic, but the incident scared him so much that he stopped drinking and beating her, became the model husband. 4 kids later, they've been married for over 25 years and he's been free of alcohol for over 27. Does that mean we should tell all women who get beaten by their boyfriends and husbands to ride it out because he'll maybe end up being a great guy?
Every relationship you have in your life, save for one, will fail. It will end. They will leave or you will leave, but either way, somebody will be dumped. That means it's faaaaar more likely the person who just dumped you is really dumping you and the relationship is really over than it is secret code that they want to try again in 6 months, and that time it'll work.
So you can either sit around hoping that the person who rejected you to your face will come back and beg you to take another stab at the relationship, and maybe reject you to your face yet again, or you can move on with your life... Because chances are overwhelming that the only thing getting back together with your ex will do is remind them why they dumped you (or vice versa) the first time, and inspire them to do it again the second time.
Why subject yourself to that when you can make yourself available to somebody who hasn't rejected you already?
You make some great points, and I understand what you're saying
But it doesn't apply to every relationship.
So I would still contest that yes, sometimes, lost love does return. But I agree that you shouldn't sit around holding your breath, waiting for it...
