Does it really go away?

[jogirl]

I am new here. I was Googling "Christian self-harm" and found this forum. I am almost 28 and have been hurting myself since I was 16. Although, I did have a couple of years in there somewhere where I didn't really hurt myself. You know how it is: you have a self-harm streak for a while and then you get close to God again and things are amazing, and then you slip up when life gets hard. This is where I'm at. It's like a game of tug-o-war. I'm really getting frustrated with it, but am I frustrated enough to let it go completely? I don't know. Thus, the question, does it really go away?

So, does it?

 

[mpshiel]

No. Any more than any other addiction goes away. If you uber focus on something else then it may fade, but like other addictions, when stuff gets hard, it comes back.

You can either convince yourself that you need to be closer to God (because of course God never wants us to be human or have human feelings or deal with them), or you can face the dragon.

I am a self harmer. I think there are some people who have it for a short time and it fades but many have it until death. I have a support network and recognize triggers and most important I don't expect perfection, because I am human, and so instead of counting the days since I cut myself (because when you do cut and it goes to zero, then the desire to cut is even higher, the self loathing and all) but to look at it over a month or two and try to have fewer 'slips' than before.

Good luck.

Beth

 

[Criada]

I don't thinkit goes away, but it does get easier, and the slips get fewer.
Praying for you, sweetie

 

[Rai1234]

I agree, it doesn't seem to go away but I do think it can be managed. I definitely still think about cutting when I get super stressed or when I'm really upset but so far I've been able to find other things to do instead. I think that's a big part of it, finding some other safer activity to do instead.

Actually lately I've been able to just think about it and not have to act on it or actively replace it with some other coping mechanism so that's really positive.

 

[Everlasting33]

The last time I cut was Dec 2001 and while I broke the addiction, I have had urges to self harm, even as recent as this year. For this reason, it is very important to limit and stop self injury. I stopped cold turkey, after cutting for about a year and a half, and it was something I truly wanted for myself.

When we desire to change, it will happen.

 

[Ampworship]

There have been times when i felt as it it all had gone away, then frustrations and strife begin to pick up and so do the faint urges. I have to agree with the others in saying that it may be well for a while, but recognizing the triggers in your life can be a big help.
As Beth described with counting the days can be actually harmful, as i have tried this in the past. Around 2000, I tried the approach to cutting as an alcoholic does AA. They say that they are an alcoholic and count days since their last drink. When I did this, it didn't work for me, I found that I associated myself to the disease, or whatever you want to call it, and found myself cutting more. When I slipped from going 5 days, it seemed so much worse. I kept a pocket calender taped to my desk and if I cut then I blacked out that day, May of that year, there was only like 5 days where I hadn't cut or hurt myself. I saw it wasn't working and stopped counting days.
My relationship with Christ ebbs and flows, depending on my dedication to it, but when I am closest to the One who created me, I feel the least amount of stress.
I hope this is somewhat encouraging and know that you can make it through the stressful times. Call on your Savior, he is always there, He will always listen.