Alithis
Disciple of Jesus .
- Nov 11, 2010
- 15,750
- 2,180
- Country
- New Zealand
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Married
MY TESTIMONY (in part).
what I Now have come to increasingly understand is that no one instantaneously arrives at the fullness of the salvation of God in actuality (but in faith immediately)until the return of the lord JESUS when he comes TO judge .and to pour out the wrath of God .
in that moment all that Jesus has done for us on the cross will be received by those who LOVE him. and those who love him DO as he says . and in that moment they will be spared the wrath of God and will be forever eternally saved and IN his presence forever more . Until that day we are ever BEING saved . (this kind of point is perceptional ,so different people can see it different ways at differing levels of maturity in GOD.
my life was headed towards salvation in JESUS ..but the road to that ONE door being him was long .I was born into a Christian family and never had any other concept but that GOD is . But there grew a disconnect between what was read and preached and the life lived around me .
now for brevity i will jump forward to 21 years old . i was married young to a girlfriend who came to the lord the same way, we had been living together before that .
by this time i was a returned wayward teen ..i had "asked the lord Jesus" into my heart ..as i had been told to do to get saved ....( a false Gospel) a year or so later , i really don't recall, i don't even know what month , i got baptized in water ... because ,well, that's what you do as a christian ..AND it pleased my parents AND its an outer sign ( another false Gospel )... then , about a week later i fell to the temptations of sin and struggled on in a cycle of sinning and going to church and asking forgiveness and sinning and going to church and asking forgiveness ... you get the picture .
I had many things being revealed to me over the years as i read the scriptures and i even had a strong experience and spoke in tongues (not in that order actually )
At one time -and i often use this to assure people GOD ANSWERS PRAYER so DO be careful what and HOW you pray .i was being oh so super duper and going to early morning prayer meeting meeting at the church at 6 am to pray and wow i was such a super duper Christian look at me im so amazing yuk yuk yuk makes me sick to recall it . and in that state of heart, one day i foolishly prayed ... "lord ,search me and try ME . see if there be any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting ..".. Now you must know that God is faithful and i rejoice to this day that i also prayed that LAST LINE ..and lead me in the way everlasting .
because GOD began to answer that prayer .. and he exposed every vile wickedness in me and he tried me and my life blew to pieces and shattered by the sin of my own heart .now i cant recall dates exactly but by the age of about 32-34 i sat alone .. exhausted from coming down from methamphetamine ..and computer gaming all night in between looking at porn ,chain smoking cigarettes and weed , i had lost my wife , i had lost my kids, i somehow had retained a job ... i was as angry a person as you'd ever want to know ..nice enough to all ..if not crossed . but bitter beyond belief . and somehow God preserved my life as so many times i fell asleep 3 or 4 am with a cigarette still burning in my fingers .
I put this part in to show the depravity i had fallen to in sin . YET there was the end of that prayer ... "AND lead me in the way everlasting " ... God was no done yet ...
somewhere in the midst of all this mess in very deep depressions i would sigh so long and often and deep and i would whisper JESUS as i fell asleep .. and God began to lead me out ,little by little by little in ways i could not take credit for at ALL .. like one day i decided to not buy any meth... And didn't .. ?! i mean huh ? and though i was rather grumpy i was no longer a user . how on earth did that happen ? one day i sat on the steps with a cigarette and said lord i know this (the cigarette )is not your will for me , please give me the wisdom to stop .. 2 weeks later i was a non smoker ..yes from chain to zero in 2 weeks ..
but this process, this leading, was leading me TO salvation , i traveled to the Philippines and met the lady who is now my wife and while there experienced her having sleep paralysis- she would fall asleep ,wake up unable to move in deep fear ..then wake up again . so one time it happened she held my hand before she slept .she fell asleep and instantly squeezed my hand like a vice (she was in the night mare ) i prayed and said you devil get out of her in Jesus name! .. (i had the hairs on my neck standing up i tell you haha )..she woke and ... NEVER had that ever occur again . the lord honors his name !I was NO born again Christian yet .( this is why many wil say lord lord we did this and that in your name .. and he will say go away i dont know you ,you workers of iniquity -doers of sin)
then the process continued and back in new zealand ,married , we attended church here and there and settled on a little church and life ticked on and things improved BUT .. there was that SIN thing . that cycle of sin . still there still enslaving still a prisoner serving SIN.. still NOT SAVED . though churches tried to tell me your saved your saved it ok . and for while i believed them ..but i struggled to believe them because SOMETHING DIDN'T FIT .
I was still A sinner and I KNEW IT and GOD KNEW IT .
some years later as this journey went on things improving all the time in some ways but not in others ,in matters of sin.
then it all came to a pointless end .. whats it all worth if i'm still a slave to sin .i still snuck around looking at porn -i still played way to much computer gaming ,sure i had stopped so much bad stuff .. but i was still a slave to sin .and it just didn't make any sense to me any more and i began to feel more and more uncomfortable with sin as in reeealy uncomfortable i would toss and turn at nights in anguish .. the lord was leading me now and i was calling on him more and more and more i just could carry on the way i was yet i kept carrying on the way i was what a miserable being ..
then .. now all those years later i sat in my garage, the absolute opposite of that young arrogant guy who prayed ;lord try me .. now i just sat i had NOTHING of me that could ever be good enough . i Had begun to pray differently the last month .. i had become honest .. i stopped blaming every one and everything for my sin .i was so uncomfortable with my sin i started admitting MY sin .
npt just oh lord please forgive me . but .. lord i have sinned against you ,i and no one else , lord i did this sin again and lord i cant blame any one .I did it and only I DID it i sinned against YOU and need you to save me ..i wasn't just asking forgiveness so guilt would go way .. no now i was begging to be saved , for the first time in my life i was wanting to be saved from MY OWN SIN.
and that day i sat there and i said " LORD .. in your word it says who the son sets free is free indeed. i believe in you and im supposed to be free ,yet here i am guilty of serving sin again ,why am i not free if you set us free ?- AND he ANSWERED ME ... he said to me using own name "Michael , it is because you love doing that sin More then you love ME "
this sentence just sat there in the air .. TRUTH TRUTH TRUTH ,,, you shall know the truth and the truth will set you free .
I said LORD HOW ? HOW do i love you MORE you know ido love you How do i love YOU MORE then all.???
and he answered me - he said " LISTEN TO ME AND DO WHAT I SAY"!
i sat silent for some time and rose up and left . a few days later i was driving my work van down a straight road and in the far distance there was a lady walking ... and the lord suddenly spoke to me again and he said "TURN YOUR HEAD" .... my first reaction was ?turn my head ?what do i wanna turn my head for ..?" and even as i began to think that, the words came clear and hard ... "LISTEN TO ME AND DO WHAT I TELL YOU" !
I said lord yes yes i want to love you MORE.. and i flung my head to the side turning it so hard it hurt my neck rather a lot haha .
something special happened that day .. that day i began to follow JESUS .. that day i turned my head TOoo GOD and away from sin, THAT DAY I REPENTED OF MY SIN. and i have TURNED MY HEAD shunning sin ever since that day and WALKED in freedom from sin ever since . because you see it is IMPOSSIBLE to Do a work of sin while we are obeying the HOLY SPIRIT ,he simply CANNOT lead us to sin he can ONLY lead us into righteousness .as PAUL wrote,walk IN the SPIRIT and you WILL NOT (wont have the will to ) fulfill the desire of the flesh .
THE SCRIPTURE IS ABSOLUTE IN TRUTH FOLKS .And just as it is SURE that JESUS sets us free through true repentance it is absolute true that he will destroy with fire those who refuse to repent of their sin.
that day i ENTERED TH NARROW GATE to walk the narrow way , and i know with all my heart i must STAY the course and run the race or i will not reach the end thereof and will not attain unto the Resurrection of the dead -i must forget that which is behind and reach for that which lays ahead . for it is not those who begin a race that get the reward but those who FINISH IT .
very soon after i came under the most intense demonic attack - i was both the happiest man alive and the most miserable .. i was out of Egypt and now Egypt was bearing down on my in full army array to enslave me or kill me ... and the lord led me to the waters of BAPTISM . this is a whole testimony in itself that i wont go into here , but after experiencing having many devils cast out of me that was NOT pretty and intensely traumatic , i walked into those waters after an inexpressibly huge battle through religious mindsets and i said all for you now Jesus all for you . and i was buried in that water and the waters closed over me and i died into Christ.. they lifted me from the water like a rag doll i recall it being like a shock . i was suddenly alive again and it was a shock and the world was so bright and oh i cannot tel you without many pages haha . And now i serve the lord Jesus as a new creature in Christ the old has passed away the new has come and my journey is now all about learning to live as this new creation and about being transformed into the image of JESUS to HIS glory forever amen ... one years after that my wife (who was also baptized after deliverance that day) left our jobs sold our house and are full time faith missionaries outside of any denomination. we went from fruitless dry branches about to be cut off to being grafted deep into Jesus and began to see much fruit . we have seen so many people healed and repent and have baptized many and seen many devils cast out of people ,God had miraculously provided for us as his word promises ,we have seen many people filed with the holy Spirit speaking on tongues and we concentrate on teaching them how to do the same ..
our God whom we serve in JESUS is real and ALIVE and i will serve none other .no man made church ,no lying institution, we are not called to follow the body but the head and except the head is JESUS then the body your in is NOT HIS BODY its the devils .wakey wakey.
without repentance there is NO forgiveness of sin- Jesus came to set us FREE from the power and bondage of sin , HE DID NOT FAIL .. and once free -its up to US to choose
live after the spirit obeying the Holy Spirit who is Jesus speaking unto righteousness and everlasting life
OR
live after the flesh to serve the lusts of it .. AND DIE eternally in hell fire .
God is a righteous and HOLY God who changes NOT.
if you believe in JESUS you will DO WHAT HE SAYS
otherwise you don't believe him at all .
what I Now have come to increasingly understand is that no one instantaneously arrives at the fullness of the salvation of God in actuality (but in faith immediately)until the return of the lord JESUS when he comes TO judge .and to pour out the wrath of God .
in that moment all that Jesus has done for us on the cross will be received by those who LOVE him. and those who love him DO as he says . and in that moment they will be spared the wrath of God and will be forever eternally saved and IN his presence forever more . Until that day we are ever BEING saved . (this kind of point is perceptional ,so different people can see it different ways at differing levels of maturity in GOD.
my life was headed towards salvation in JESUS ..but the road to that ONE door being him was long .I was born into a Christian family and never had any other concept but that GOD is . But there grew a disconnect between what was read and preached and the life lived around me .
now for brevity i will jump forward to 21 years old . i was married young to a girlfriend who came to the lord the same way, we had been living together before that .
by this time i was a returned wayward teen ..i had "asked the lord Jesus" into my heart ..as i had been told to do to get saved ....( a false Gospel) a year or so later , i really don't recall, i don't even know what month , i got baptized in water ... because ,well, that's what you do as a christian ..AND it pleased my parents AND its an outer sign ( another false Gospel )... then , about a week later i fell to the temptations of sin and struggled on in a cycle of sinning and going to church and asking forgiveness and sinning and going to church and asking forgiveness ... you get the picture .
I had many things being revealed to me over the years as i read the scriptures and i even had a strong experience and spoke in tongues (not in that order actually )
At one time -and i often use this to assure people GOD ANSWERS PRAYER so DO be careful what and HOW you pray .i was being oh so super duper and going to early morning prayer meeting meeting at the church at 6 am to pray and wow i was such a super duper Christian look at me im so amazing yuk yuk yuk makes me sick to recall it . and in that state of heart, one day i foolishly prayed ... "lord ,search me and try ME . see if there be any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting ..".. Now you must know that God is faithful and i rejoice to this day that i also prayed that LAST LINE ..and lead me in the way everlasting .
because GOD began to answer that prayer .. and he exposed every vile wickedness in me and he tried me and my life blew to pieces and shattered by the sin of my own heart .now i cant recall dates exactly but by the age of about 32-34 i sat alone .. exhausted from coming down from methamphetamine ..and computer gaming all night in between looking at porn ,chain smoking cigarettes and weed , i had lost my wife , i had lost my kids, i somehow had retained a job ... i was as angry a person as you'd ever want to know ..nice enough to all ..if not crossed . but bitter beyond belief . and somehow God preserved my life as so many times i fell asleep 3 or 4 am with a cigarette still burning in my fingers .
I put this part in to show the depravity i had fallen to in sin . YET there was the end of that prayer ... "AND lead me in the way everlasting " ... God was no done yet ...
somewhere in the midst of all this mess in very deep depressions i would sigh so long and often and deep and i would whisper JESUS as i fell asleep .. and God began to lead me out ,little by little by little in ways i could not take credit for at ALL .. like one day i decided to not buy any meth... And didn't .. ?! i mean huh ? and though i was rather grumpy i was no longer a user . how on earth did that happen ? one day i sat on the steps with a cigarette and said lord i know this (the cigarette )is not your will for me , please give me the wisdom to stop .. 2 weeks later i was a non smoker ..yes from chain to zero in 2 weeks ..
but this process, this leading, was leading me TO salvation , i traveled to the Philippines and met the lady who is now my wife and while there experienced her having sleep paralysis- she would fall asleep ,wake up unable to move in deep fear ..then wake up again . so one time it happened she held my hand before she slept .she fell asleep and instantly squeezed my hand like a vice (she was in the night mare ) i prayed and said you devil get out of her in Jesus name! .. (i had the hairs on my neck standing up i tell you haha )..she woke and ... NEVER had that ever occur again . the lord honors his name !I was NO born again Christian yet .( this is why many wil say lord lord we did this and that in your name .. and he will say go away i dont know you ,you workers of iniquity -doers of sin)
then the process continued and back in new zealand ,married , we attended church here and there and settled on a little church and life ticked on and things improved BUT .. there was that SIN thing . that cycle of sin . still there still enslaving still a prisoner serving SIN.. still NOT SAVED . though churches tried to tell me your saved your saved it ok . and for while i believed them ..but i struggled to believe them because SOMETHING DIDN'T FIT .
I was still A sinner and I KNEW IT and GOD KNEW IT .
some years later as this journey went on things improving all the time in some ways but not in others ,in matters of sin.
then it all came to a pointless end .. whats it all worth if i'm still a slave to sin .i still snuck around looking at porn -i still played way to much computer gaming ,sure i had stopped so much bad stuff .. but i was still a slave to sin .and it just didn't make any sense to me any more and i began to feel more and more uncomfortable with sin as in reeealy uncomfortable i would toss and turn at nights in anguish .. the lord was leading me now and i was calling on him more and more and more i just could carry on the way i was yet i kept carrying on the way i was what a miserable being ..
then .. now all those years later i sat in my garage, the absolute opposite of that young arrogant guy who prayed ;lord try me .. now i just sat i had NOTHING of me that could ever be good enough . i Had begun to pray differently the last month .. i had become honest .. i stopped blaming every one and everything for my sin .i was so uncomfortable with my sin i started admitting MY sin .
npt just oh lord please forgive me . but .. lord i have sinned against you ,i and no one else , lord i did this sin again and lord i cant blame any one .I did it and only I DID it i sinned against YOU and need you to save me ..i wasn't just asking forgiveness so guilt would go way .. no now i was begging to be saved , for the first time in my life i was wanting to be saved from MY OWN SIN.
and that day i sat there and i said " LORD .. in your word it says who the son sets free is free indeed. i believe in you and im supposed to be free ,yet here i am guilty of serving sin again ,why am i not free if you set us free ?- AND he ANSWERED ME ... he said to me using own name "Michael , it is because you love doing that sin More then you love ME "
this sentence just sat there in the air .. TRUTH TRUTH TRUTH ,,, you shall know the truth and the truth will set you free .
I said LORD HOW ? HOW do i love you MORE you know ido love you How do i love YOU MORE then all.???
and he answered me - he said " LISTEN TO ME AND DO WHAT I SAY"!
i sat silent for some time and rose up and left . a few days later i was driving my work van down a straight road and in the far distance there was a lady walking ... and the lord suddenly spoke to me again and he said "TURN YOUR HEAD" .... my first reaction was ?turn my head ?what do i wanna turn my head for ..?" and even as i began to think that, the words came clear and hard ... "LISTEN TO ME AND DO WHAT I TELL YOU" !
I said lord yes yes i want to love you MORE.. and i flung my head to the side turning it so hard it hurt my neck rather a lot haha .
something special happened that day .. that day i began to follow JESUS .. that day i turned my head TOoo GOD and away from sin, THAT DAY I REPENTED OF MY SIN. and i have TURNED MY HEAD shunning sin ever since that day and WALKED in freedom from sin ever since . because you see it is IMPOSSIBLE to Do a work of sin while we are obeying the HOLY SPIRIT ,he simply CANNOT lead us to sin he can ONLY lead us into righteousness .as PAUL wrote,walk IN the SPIRIT and you WILL NOT (wont have the will to ) fulfill the desire of the flesh .
THE SCRIPTURE IS ABSOLUTE IN TRUTH FOLKS .And just as it is SURE that JESUS sets us free through true repentance it is absolute true that he will destroy with fire those who refuse to repent of their sin.
that day i ENTERED TH NARROW GATE to walk the narrow way , and i know with all my heart i must STAY the course and run the race or i will not reach the end thereof and will not attain unto the Resurrection of the dead -i must forget that which is behind and reach for that which lays ahead . for it is not those who begin a race that get the reward but those who FINISH IT .
very soon after i came under the most intense demonic attack - i was both the happiest man alive and the most miserable .. i was out of Egypt and now Egypt was bearing down on my in full army array to enslave me or kill me ... and the lord led me to the waters of BAPTISM . this is a whole testimony in itself that i wont go into here , but after experiencing having many devils cast out of me that was NOT pretty and intensely traumatic , i walked into those waters after an inexpressibly huge battle through religious mindsets and i said all for you now Jesus all for you . and i was buried in that water and the waters closed over me and i died into Christ.. they lifted me from the water like a rag doll i recall it being like a shock . i was suddenly alive again and it was a shock and the world was so bright and oh i cannot tel you without many pages haha . And now i serve the lord Jesus as a new creature in Christ the old has passed away the new has come and my journey is now all about learning to live as this new creation and about being transformed into the image of JESUS to HIS glory forever amen ... one years after that my wife (who was also baptized after deliverance that day) left our jobs sold our house and are full time faith missionaries outside of any denomination. we went from fruitless dry branches about to be cut off to being grafted deep into Jesus and began to see much fruit . we have seen so many people healed and repent and have baptized many and seen many devils cast out of people ,God had miraculously provided for us as his word promises ,we have seen many people filed with the holy Spirit speaking on tongues and we concentrate on teaching them how to do the same ..
our God whom we serve in JESUS is real and ALIVE and i will serve none other .no man made church ,no lying institution, we are not called to follow the body but the head and except the head is JESUS then the body your in is NOT HIS BODY its the devils .wakey wakey.
without repentance there is NO forgiveness of sin- Jesus came to set us FREE from the power and bondage of sin , HE DID NOT FAIL .. and once free -its up to US to choose
live after the spirit obeying the Holy Spirit who is Jesus speaking unto righteousness and everlasting life
OR
live after the flesh to serve the lusts of it .. AND DIE eternally in hell fire .
God is a righteous and HOLY God who changes NOT.
if you believe in JESUS you will DO WHAT HE SAYS
otherwise you don't believe him at all .
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