Shadesofgray
Newbie
I am sorry to hear that things aren't going that well for you at the momment Cyrus. Dating a 19 year old does have it's challenges because she is still maturing at that age. She's probably not had many if any really real relationships yet. At that age, most girls and guys are still in the state of mind were their expectations of relationships are still pretty unrealistic. They think things will be a certain way, and don't seem to realize that a relationship is going to have comprimises involved because it involves 2 people. It is a very strange request at any rate... I've never met a girl that didn't like being complimented.
Now... I have to say this... reasoning through someone's emotions is really not fair to them. Even if their emotions make no logical sense. The fact is they are feeling a certain way, and they may even realize it's not fair to you but it doesn't matter... they are feeling it right then and right there. Any attempt to reason and show them why their emotions are not fair is just going to make them upset. You need to be sensitive to her... Even if her emotions don't make sense. The time for reasoning will be later when she is more stable, but at that particular momment she needs you to fill a need and you better be able to fill it. The best thing to do in that situation is comfort her if you can, don't fight her on it. If it's about you being busy and not spending enough time with her, not calling her enough, don't argue. Tell her you are sorry and promise to spend more time together or to call more often. Then take a look at what you are doing... are you spending a lot of time on your own? Are you blowing her off a lot lately? Could you spare a couple minutes now and then to give a quick phone call now then between doing other things?
If you can, great! Do make those changes. If you can't, if you are really doing everything you can to make her feel you are always available to her, then reason with her. In my experience, I've learned it makes a huge difference in her happiness and mine, even if I pick up the phone for a few minutes to send a quick text, or talk for 2-5 minutes at least 1-3 times during the work day. I'd challenge you to look at her concerns, and see if there is anything you can do to make her more happy and more of a priority. If you are not willing to do that, or if you'd rather walk away, then maybe that is better. But I can garuntee you, there are a million little things you can do to make her more happy and disolve a lot of the problems. I've learned to make it a point that even when I am busy, I pick up the phone at least once in the middle of it to talk for 5-10 minutes or to send a text or two. When I've been dating someone it's made us both a lot happier.
I don't know if this is the big issue between you two, but it sounds like it may be a part of it. Doing these little things that show you care will often solve 90% of your relationship issues because she won't be questioning just how much you care, or how much you are into her.
Now... I have to say this... reasoning through someone's emotions is really not fair to them. Even if their emotions make no logical sense. The fact is they are feeling a certain way, and they may even realize it's not fair to you but it doesn't matter... they are feeling it right then and right there. Any attempt to reason and show them why their emotions are not fair is just going to make them upset. You need to be sensitive to her... Even if her emotions don't make sense. The time for reasoning will be later when she is more stable, but at that particular momment she needs you to fill a need and you better be able to fill it. The best thing to do in that situation is comfort her if you can, don't fight her on it. If it's about you being busy and not spending enough time with her, not calling her enough, don't argue. Tell her you are sorry and promise to spend more time together or to call more often. Then take a look at what you are doing... are you spending a lot of time on your own? Are you blowing her off a lot lately? Could you spare a couple minutes now and then to give a quick phone call now then between doing other things?
If you can, great! Do make those changes. If you can't, if you are really doing everything you can to make her feel you are always available to her, then reason with her. In my experience, I've learned it makes a huge difference in her happiness and mine, even if I pick up the phone for a few minutes to send a quick text, or talk for 2-5 minutes at least 1-3 times during the work day. I'd challenge you to look at her concerns, and see if there is anything you can do to make her more happy and more of a priority. If you are not willing to do that, or if you'd rather walk away, then maybe that is better. But I can garuntee you, there are a million little things you can do to make her more happy and disolve a lot of the problems. I've learned to make it a point that even when I am busy, I pick up the phone at least once in the middle of it to talk for 5-10 minutes or to send a text or two. When I've been dating someone it's made us both a lot happier.
I don't know if this is the big issue between you two, but it sounds like it may be a part of it. Doing these little things that show you care will often solve 90% of your relationship issues because she won't be questioning just how much you care, or how much you are into her.
Upvote
0
