do you find this to be a common problem with family and close friends?

[Yoona86]

that what you told them in confidence they always seem to share what you told them with their spouse/children/grandchildren and don't think there is anything wrong with this type of behaviors?

 

[~Anastasia~]

that what you told them in confidence they always seem to share what you told them with their spouse/children/grandchildren and don't think there is anything wrong with this type of behaviors?

Some people don't keep confidences.

You have to recognize who they are and don't share anything with them that shouldn't be repeated.

You have to know who you can trust, and those people would be in the minority in most groups.

 

[Yoona86]

Some people don't keep confidences.

You have to recognize who they are and don't share anything with them that shouldn't be repeated.

You have to know who you can trust, and those people would be in the minority in most groups.

i guess you are right

i should clarify that those i have in mind are not necessarily blabber mouth, they are just very close with their spouse children or/and grandchildren

but still

 

[~Anastasia~]

i guess you are right

i should clarify that those i have in mind are not necessarily blabber mouth, they are just very close with their spouse children or/and grandchildren

but still

I started to add a comment about that but it could get very long.

It depends on the confidence. If it has no bearing whatsoever to the spouse it would be commonly accepted by most to be willing to share it and not feel they had broken a confidence, because a lot of people need a sounding board.

Some people can't hold in news and must share, so sharing it with someone "safe" like that may be like a form of indulging gossiping tendencies, but hopefully they've evaluated it not to damage the confidence.

Of course if the spouse (or grandchildren or whoever) are intimate with the situation, sharing could be completely a breach of trust.

Different people have different reasons for "needing" to share, different ability to keep a confidence completely, and different abilities to keep things safe.

It becomes complex to discuss in theory only.

But basically we need to evaluate people for that, evaluate the need for the confidence to be kept, maybe explicitly say it shouldn't be shared, and with all of that, do our best.

But someone could have had innocent motives in sharing, if that's what happened.

 

[paul1149]

that what you told them in confidence they always seem to share what you told them with their spouse/children/grandchildren and don't think there is anything wrong with this type of behaviors?

I have found this to be very true. Some people simply love to talk. They are trying to encourage each other, and don't know that they are transgressing third party boundaries. They haven't figure out how to broach a subject, which can be a good thing to do, without giving away too much detail, which isn't.

It's best to listen carefully to people and take note of how much they respect the privacy of others. Then guard your tongue so that you don't become the next victim.

 

[LoricaLady]

I have found this to be very true. Some people simply love to talk. They are trying to encourage each other, and don't know that they are transgressing third party boundaries. They haven't figure out how to broach a subject, which can be a good thing to do, without giving away too much detail, which isn't.

It's best to listen carefully to people and take note of how much they respect the privacy of others. Then guard your tongue so that you don't become the next victim.

Ditto. And just forgive those who blab.

 

[dreadnought]

that what you told them in confidence they always seem to share what you told them with their spouse/children/grandchildren and don't think there is anything wrong with this type of behaviors?

I don't know if it's common, but it's a lesson in being careful what you say to people, I guess.

 

[longwait]

that what you told them in confidence they always seem to share what you told them with their spouse/children/grandchildren and don't think there is anything wrong with this type of behaviors?

This is exactly what I was thinking of lately! I am struggling with the fact that I told my parent about something and whatever I say they interpret it differently and they tell others about it who in turn twists it to embarrass me or to put me in trouble. This causes me so much of opposition and slander from others and I might not even know what it was all about. And I still haven't learned my lesson to not say anything to my parents.